All Comments on 'The Chronicles of Hvad Ch. 11'

Would love update on Dirayr and his girl. Did he end it with her when told she banged Borna? Huge error by borna.

No disappointment in any of this! However, this will have to be a brief review (with the long one later) as I've got a lot of irons in the fire today.

I'll never think of "Brace yourself" the same way again--ever. What a perfect way to have Payl back and for Ljudevit to welcome her back.

You had WAY too much fun with those Uplander names, didn't you? Well, I laughed tons too. How inventive...especially to have Vepar embrace Ljudevit!

Hilarious crawling along their bellies all that way and Ljudevit putting his hand in sheep dropping several times, with Lovro nearly losing it. Way to maintain some humor in such an important moment. Loved how they stole 61 horses to get to the Uplanders.

It just hit me...are you planning to perhaps get Ahli to replace Siret for Diraryr?

VERY bold to have both Borna and Ljudevit appear to be prisoners, shaving their heads. It's true that was a major insult--as that was done in Biblical times to really humiliate soldiers and captives. Great ruse with Nanaidh, to get them to speak to Indrek's wife. They do have to think bigger and that might really work now.

Very debilitating wound for Ljudevit though. Seems to me that could be tricky for you to handle, as it wasn't as bad as Borna's foot wound.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. This is your best story series yet of what I've read from you. I'm on for the whole ride, that's for sure. :)

Five stars, hands down. :)

This is the best story on Lit right now.

I really like the idea of Keptel and Ljudevit learning Izymyrian from him. However, you missed a very good, comical opportunity where you could have made Ljudevit make a classic language blunder and have Keptel ROFL. Just would have been extra cute.

I didn’t realize you snuck in foreshadowing with how you would advance Payl in the story for Ch. 12. Well hidden! You have also tamed Payl, as before she would NEVER have insisted on knowing if Ljudevit really missed her--but she LISTENED and WANTED to hear him repeat it again--which is what every woman wants (affirmation). I was certainly surprised you using her to keep the Upland chieftains in line, to wait to charge...but then I remember Hanik saying she “was crazy,” so that sufficed. :)

I had to re-read to see how you foreshadowed Borna’s planning to form an alliance in order to survive, as you were seemingly steering this tale as a constant guerrilla war. You are sneaky!

I wonder if you will use Borna’s tryst with Siret to give Ljudevit a stronger mind and tongue. You’ve hinted that when he tried to rebuke Borna initially, so it feels like you’re still “on the fence” with which way to take Ljudevit in that manner.

The “filthy bastard” remark about Broer was just too funny. :)

First opinion we’ve heard from Aare. Going to develop him into a more forceful leader?

“Leho's right wing collapsed.”

Just reading the structure of the story before this one sentence so well illustrates how well you blended long and intermediate-length sentences down to this one, short and striking one. You employ this well. :)

Not as long as others, but it was thorough. Thanks for not killing us with waiting on a cliffhanger, by the way. It’s nice to know the fight was over with killing Leho, and we discovered in Ch. 12 who died and how. I appreciate that consideration. :)

A well-crafted story, well worth a 5.

Gods but this is good.

It just keeps getting better and better. Thank you.

Dirayr commanded? I forgot about that. I'd even forgotten how Payl ran and tackled Ljudevit. You know what? Seems like Kanni is basically like Langoret...just not in the "sister" sense.