All Comments on 'The Chronicles of Hvad Ch. 12'

You never cease to amaze! Twists and turns abound, and I love every one. Keep up the great writing!!

After reading several of your other works, I know you are not an author to write an epic. You move the plot along quickly and it’s clear you’re ready to get to the next major arc of the story. Yes! I’m excited about this new arc, but awww, couldn’t you have let me live in these moments with your characters just a little longer? Particularly the election of Borna as Ban and the revelation of Payl’s pregnancy. Ljudevit is one of the most relatable, well written characters I’ve come across in a while. I can’t wait to see what misadventures he has.

I'm looking forward to the next chapter, the next adventure. This chapter was so good.

And while I think that Borna has found a worthy bride, I am not happy that it sounds like it will be a long-distance marriage in name only for political purposes.

I'll be damned if i haven't eagerly opened every new chapter.

You are building a reputation for quality and interest.

are of course very positive and complimentary. I still owe you that longer review for Ch. 11.

WOW! I would have never bet on you making Ljudevit a spy. I will say though that he does seem to be "behind" in wits where he may have been by this point. I'll admit though that you've been VERY cagey about this all, especially with bringing Ahli along to marry Borna. It seems more an alliance of political convenience, but she is a witty one and a good match for Borna if you plan to develop her into his equal. You've foreshadowed this well, so now we'll see how much you follow through on it. Returning to Ljudevit, I'm concerned how you will play this out with him spying on Izuymir, as while you worked in Keptel well and you got Ljudevit to learn the language (a logical conclusion for a spy), the elephant in the room is that his Izumymrian has to be flawless if you plan to make him pass for a local from a far-flung province. If you cast him as a traveling merchant, you'll have more leeway, but you'll have to navigate that carefully to a point. You've had Ljudevit play the part of a prisoner, but only to surprise the enemy--not to fool them for a long time. Then there's Payl likely pregnant. I can see Irija helping out, but if you confirm Payl's pregnancy, that will make it very interesting how you handle her being a warrior but then learning how to be a nurturing woman. I do love how it ties her to Ljudevit and possibly "tames" her rough side more...I'm conflicted on it. I will say though that you are the author and you've worked a lot of different angles out to be realistic that I'll trust your thought and planning in the coming installments to sufficiently explain these.

Speaking of reality, still saddened me to see Dirayr die, although kind of had to happen after how he reacted about Borna's tryst with Siret. A nice little touch with having Lovro comment on his bravery despite the danger. Losing Durra feels strange, as we didn't seem to know her as well as we could have...but it does advance the story and gives you room to let Ahli breathe. I do wonder though how Kanni will fit into that, as she's a thinker like Ljudevit although we haven't seen that from her except for her implied helping of Kawehka.

You walk the tightrope well and you truly compose a wonderful story that stands on its own merits. REALLY love that part. A no-doubt 5! :)

I am grateful and honored to have read this. Thank you.

I've only found this story a few days ago, just had to read it all without hardly any pause. Can't wait for the next chapter, has to be five stars every chapter.

Best thing on Lit and all without pretense, ego or self-indulgent pandering. So very well written. 5🌟on every level.

Plausible setup with Ahli questioning Ljudevit about war, costs...to this as foreshadowing of what she’s involved in later this chapter.

Impressive to show a woman have a mind for military tactics, and to be so strong in a different way than Payl. You even have her negotiate with her parents and take the initiative to marry Borna. I appreciate you insisting that she demand open and honest dealings with Borna, as the Dark Ages and Middle Ages were known for their cutthroat barbarism, and usually it was “get as much as you can, without regard for anything.” You trying to craft a new “Iron Lady”? ;)

- "And that Reego RedFingers is one mad bastard."

You have a way with words. I guffawed after reading this.

Employing Mutimir as the first line of defense is quite wise, aside from upping the “honor” to the Uplanders--as they’ll fight even harder when they have something that’s more in order and not so unkempt (I’m sure you imply this by making him Hospedar).

Payl serving Ljudevit? I almost fell out of my chair! However, having Ljudevit spend so much time describing Payl and remembering that Fall because of her...is beyond special. I loved reading she let him bathe her many times and even wash her hair once. I do think you missed an opportunity to show how people reacted to her beautiful hair. Obviously by now they knew not to touch her and that she was Ljudevit’s woman, quite plainly...so to have included some interactions could have been quite fascinating. ;)

I’m totally in love with this story, and love where you’re going with it. I would suggest handling Payl’s next experiences carefully and giving Ahli more room to grow, as I don’t think it off to say she’s been “brought along” quicker than what is normal, so please spend time developing her “current contributions,” since we just met her, saw her captured, and then marry Borna--as that could appear too “convenient” without fleshing her out more by helping defend Hvad and Adarion in some way through her planning and/or counsel.

You know what I rated: 5. :)

Ch 13 is in moderation so we should have another great story to be reading within the next day or two! :)

Great story! Almost up there with Westrons! I enjoy your military angles and adventure.

Yes, Ljudevit will regret failing to stop Borna from destroying Dirayr to the end of his days. And Borna's betrayal of his devoted follower will be a black mark on his memory forever, just as David's betrayal of Uriah destroyed his legacy, and cursed his children. I doubt it'll be so dramatic in this work, indeed Borna will probably never acknowledge that he wronged Dirayr in any way. But we'll know. And Ljudevit knows. I wish Borna would acknowledge it, but this isn't that kind of story.

Now, I'm dying to see how Ljudevit will do as a spy in a foreign land!

Awesome story, per usual. Lol.

I really hope this ends with the downfall of Borna. Too prideful.