by SteveWallace
Really want to see where you go with this one...HOT already!!!
This oozes pretentiouness, so much. And who in bloody hell do you know that talk like that? Nor even Laureate Writers talk like that, and you also switched between PoVs and Persons (1 and 3rd) in the same scene. Oh, and the Circle idea is... Ridiculous. It oozes pseudo-science.
The blurb for the first chapters of this seemed worth the exploration, but I changed my mind almost immediately. As soon as I saw the description of the book the Bob character is reading I lost interest. First of all, who really believes that stuff? If it actually worked all the readers would become highly successful, right? "Just believe in yourself! Just have clear goals!" Yeah!
It doesn't matter how many famous people you trot out, I'm pretty sure that Gandhi and Steve Jobs did things their own way. The truth is that this is something you read about in your email spam-folder.
And second, live life by some sort of formula? "You will only be a success if you have these 18 friends, 9 male and 9 female." Most people don't have 18 friends, period, let alone 18 that they're able to talk to about anything! And all to be entrusted with your secrets and fears? And you must listen to theirs? That's not a circle of friends, that's a gossip column.
The exact same girls whom they desire are ALSO reading a self improvement book at the same time! How convenient.
The guys' attitude to the girls annoyed me. Basically "Jim can fuck Sheila, Bob can have Monica and Matt gets Zoey. But duhhh, how can we prove that we actually fucked them?" Insanely juvenile. At that point they simply look like jerks.
Actually, stories that involve large groups of people having sex aren't my thing, so this isn't a comment about the sex. It was my own fault that I started reading this.
No, I can't. Go on reading, that is, I'll stop at this point.
(And if you DO set your goals, make them achievable, not actionable.)
Two out of three comments are negative.
Let''s suppose one rated it one star and the other two stars.
To counterbalance up to 4.61 requires 16 five star votes.
This chapter is rated 4.63.
So, it is obvious that the comments do not properly reflect
the opinions of the readers -- or at least the voters.
Furthermore, I consider one Favorite per thousand views to be the benchmark -- few attain it.
This chapter got more than one and one half times that.
TrollTure has some insights about the nonrealism of the story.
To that could be added the unlikely 'Aunt Alice.' First that she would exist and welcome three horny guys when they knock, and then prepare them with advice and practice fucking. Second, that such an unlikely woman is so conveniently the 'aunt' to one of the three horny guys.
But to put this "nonrealism" into perspective, the ordinary sex lives of millions of people that occur daily, are not compelling Literotica reading.
Just as the banal daily life of thousands of accountants is not interesting reading compared to one who embezzles from his employer or customers.
The likely and realistic tends to not be as interesting as the unlikely and less realistic. As demonstrated by the Jerry Springer and Maury Povich shows.
Of course, this can be carried too far, as it was in the Literotica story I recently came across that had a guy with a 12 inch dick sevicing 20 women a day (Mattei - A Nation's Father). Even through he was a pill-enhanced breeder in an apocalyptic future decimated of males, I could not relate to him, and so abandoned that story.
This story, however, while not entirely likely or realistic (as per TrollTure), still has people and situations that are not so far fetched that I cannot relate.
In short, SteveWallace has given me a first chapter that is realistic enough to relate to, and out-of-the-ordinary enough to be interesting.
And that appears to be a set-up for even more interesting chapters.
Good job.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Paul in Oklahoma
Very dismissible nonsense. Not an iota of verisimilitude in the whole
pile of dreck. What a complete waste of time.
¡¡Ay, Caramba!! Qué estúpidos son...
Sorry, my bilingual side got irritated with the "oh so negative" comments posted about the story...
First...it is FANTASY!! So, treat it as such! And, enjoy the narrative in the fashion it is intended, or take your reading elsewhere.
As far as the sex habits of "regular folks (sic)"...I have had threesome, and some near group stuff...and know of people who DO act like this is their lives. That being said, do not jump to a conclusion you obviously have little-to-no experience with!
Now, on to Chapter 2, and beyond...cannot wait to see the "thaw" begin!