The Closer: Ch. 01

Hailey Andrews opened her closet and pulled out her best white silk blouse. She put it on and then moved further down the rack to her brand new navy blue pencil skirt and blazer. The two pieces were still in the tailor's plastic garment bag, and the sleeves of the jacket were stuffed with tissue paper to retain their shape. Hailey removed the stuffing, tags, clips, pins and labels, and then slipped into the skirt and jacket. She put on her new pumps and turned to look herself in the mirror.

Today's the day. If my review goes well, I'll get the promotion, a nice raise, and my own office. If not, I'm fucked. Totally fucked. Out of work, no savings, and probably two steps closer to moving back into my parent's house. It's all or nothing. I have to be confident, be strong, and face whatever is coming. I've worked too long and too hard to go out on a bad note. Just don't cry.... Stop it! Be positive! They can't let me go. I'm too hard of a worker. I bring value beyond my numbers. Don't let them forget that!

Hailey put on her make up and styled her hair. When she was satisfied that she looked her absolute best, she grabbed her cell phone, pulled her keys from her purse, and headed for the door.

* * *

Hailey sat at her cubicle, stuffed her purse into a desk drawer, and powered up her computer. She went to the kitchen to get herself a cup of coffee and returned just as the computer finished booting. Hailey navigated to her email just as an alert popped up on her screen. She gulped when she opened it and saw that she was being summoned to her supervisor's office.

Well, I guess Mr. Roberts isn't wasting any time today. I thought I would have a chance for at least one cup of coffee first. I don't know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Wtf, let's go do this.

Hailey took the elevator up one floor to the executive suite. She had only been up there a few times in her three years at the firm, and the last time was over three months ago. The ninth floor was laid out with account managers' tiny offices ringing the outer perimeter, and rows of even smaller cubicles just like hers packing the interior. The tenth floor, however, was palatial in comparison. Large offices used by the executives ringed the outer perimeter, and the interior contained L-shaped desks and an occasional U-shaped desk spaced comfortably apart from one another.

"He's expecting you," said Cary, Mr. Roberts' secretary, from behind the largest u-shaped desk on the floor. "You can go right in."

Hailey opened the door and walked into the spacious office.

"Have a seat, Ms. Andrews," Mr. Roberts said. "I'm just finishing here."

Hailey took a seat in one of the two chairs opposite Mr. Robert's massive oak desk. Uh-oh. He never calls me Ms. Andrews. That can't be good. She looked down as she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt, then looked up just in time to see Mr. Roberts replacing his phone on the cradle.

"Ms. Andrews, thank you for coming up so promptly. I appreciate punctuality, and I prefer starting the week off without any undue delay."

"Thank you, sir. I always try to be at my desk and working while everyone else is still milling about and socializing--especially on Mondays."

"That's good, Ms. Andrews. We have noticed and taken your punctuality and work ethic into account. On that note, are you ready to get started?"

"Yes, sir," Hailey replied.

"Very well. As you are aware, our account agents are hired for a three-year term. Annual reviews are conducted at the end of every year. We go into granular detail to identify agent's strengths and weaknesses. The purpose of being so thorough is not to make you feel threatened or ashamed, but rather, to give you every opportunity to succeed. We hire account agents directly out of college with the goal of grooming them to be long-term partners. With that in mind, we tell you every year what we see in your professional development that we can use, and where you need improvement. Do you recall me telling you this in your previous reviews?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ms. Andrews, I am handing you a binder containing copies of your performance reviews from the previous year two years. We will be referring to them as we go through your metrics for this year."

Mr. Roberts reached across the desk and handed a binder to Hailey. She leaned forward and took it from his hand, opened it, and confirmed that it was her prior years' evaluations.

"Ms. Andrews, you presented us with a bit of a conundrum. In the end, the numbers speak for themselves. As a result, I have some bad news for you, but I also have good news for you as well. I'll start with the bad news. After consulting with the other partners, I'm afraid, that we are unable to offer you a position as an account manager."

"B-but why?" Hailey's hands were trembling, and she could barely form the words in her mouth.

"Let's look at the numbers. Turn to page three of your prior year's report. Look at the section for year over year rate of return. We need a minimum of fifteen percent. Your baseline was seven percent for your first year, your ROR was nine percent your second year, and for this year you only hit eleven percent. You showed improvement, but not enough."

Hailey felt her face getting hot. Tears slid down her cheeks. She squeezed her hands and sobbed.

"Can't you give me one more chance? That's just one metric, and I'm improving every year. The numbers show steady increases. Just give me a few more months. I know I can hit the numbers you're asking me for."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Andrews, but the YOY ROR is the most important metric in the industry. That is how we make money. At seven percent we lose money. A lot of money, actually. We have to pay salaries, we pay rent on this office, we pay for our employees' health plans. You understand how this industry works, don't you? We have to generate sufficient income from our investments such that our clients earn enough money and are satisfied with our performance, and we have to make enough above that to pay for the costs of running this office. Eleven percent doesn't cut it, I'm afraid. At eleven percent we are just breaking even. We may as well shut down the office at eleven percent. It's not good enough."

Hailey reached for a tissue on Mr. Robert's desk and used it to wipe her face.

"But what about the other metrics?" she asked.

"Better," he answered. "But not good enough. Total assets invested, twenty million. We're looking for twenty-five. But that's up from twelve million the previous year, so the improvement was considerable. Twenty million, however, is not enough to justify a permanent position."

"What else?" she asked between sobs.

"Your diversification scores are all below minimum standards. Only twenty percent of your client portfolios show negative correlations. As a result, almost eighty percent of your clients are exposed to excessive risk."

"That's because I was trying to get my YOY ROR higher. I pushed my clients to move into the highest yield assets I could obtain for them."

"And in doing so you caused them to acquire less diverse portfolios, increasing their risk. Not only that, but too many of your client accounts were comprised of nearly identical investments. If one investment went south, all your accounts would have been under water. We would have seen a mass migration of customers from the firm.

"We went over all of this last year. We simply did not see enough improvement in your performance to offer you a permanent position. I'm sorry, Hailey, but you will not be promoted to Account Manager."

"How much time do I have to find a new position?"

"Today is your last day. We will pay you two month's salary as severance. That should tide you over until you find a new situation. Also, you should know that we are in the process of contacting your clients and advising them that a new agent will be servicing their accounts. You are not to have any further contact with any firm account holders. You signed a non-compete agreement at the time you were hired that specifies you cannot work for a competing firm for sixty days after leaving our employ, and that you are forever barred from contacting any clients of the firm during your tenure here. Your credentials have been revoked, so you no longer have access to the system. This is not intended to be punitive, although it may seem that way. Rather, this is for our mutual protection."

"So that's it? I'm done? Kicked to the curb?"

"Not necessarily. We do have a position that we would like to discuss with you. Are you interested in hearing my pitch?"

Hailey looked up through wet eyes.

"Another position? As what, administrative assistant? I didn't earn a degree in finance so that I could become a secretary."

"I fully understand that you are upset. My partners and I discussed your situation, and it gives me great pleasure to advise you that a position has opened for which we feel you would be perfect. If you would like to hear about it, the time is now. Otherwise, we will look elsewhere, and our business is concluded."

"Of course I want to hear about it. Tell me, please."

"Before we begin, I need you to sign this non-disclosure agreement. This discussion will require me to reveal substantial trade secrets, and legal tells me I can only do so if you sign the agreement."

Mr. Roberts handed Hailey a folder containing a two-page contract.

"Can I look it over first?"

"Of course. Take as much time as you need."

"Can I run it by my attorney first?"

"I assure you that's not necessary. It's a standard NDA with a $1 million liquidated damages provision."

"Whoa, $1 million dollars, that's a lot of money."

"I will be sharing highly sensitive information with you. The $1 million dollar damage provision is a drop in the bucket compared to the value of the information you will be receiving."

"Well, I can't sign anything without an attorney looking at it first. Can I take it with me and get back to you this afternoon?"

"Ordinarily I would say yes, Ms. Andrews, but time is of the essence here. I'll tell you what I can do. I will let you call any attorney of your choosing, and you can either scan and email it or read the agreement to them over the phone. You can get your legal opinion, and then let me know if we are going to continue our conversation. How's that for a reasonable compromise?"

"Will you be in here listening to my discussion.?"

"Of course not. I'm going to stroll down the hall to the men's room, and then I will stop and huddle with my partners for a minute to give them an update on our progress. I will be back in exactly twenty minutes. If you need more time, text me before I get back and I will give you more. My cell phone number is on my business card."

Mr. Roberts stood up and handed a business card to Hailey. He walked toward the door, paused, and looked back in her direction.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes. Use the time wisely."

He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Hailey read through the agreement but did not really understand all the legal terms. She had no attorney to call, and even if she did, she wasn't sure she wanted to incur the cost of a legal review. She started scrolling through her cell phone contacts and remembered an old boyfriend who was in his last year of law school somewhere in California. She pressed "Dial" on his number and listened to the phone ringing.

"Hailey?" the voice on the line asked.

"Hi Dmitry, sorry to bother you so early in the morning, but I need a little help and I need it right now."

"What is it? Are you in trouble?"

"No, I just need a legal opinion, and I don't have anyone else to call."

"Hailey, I'm not an attorney yet, and I am not allowed to give legal advice. It's called unauthorized practice of law, and it could get me in really big trouble."

"Who's going to know? Jesus, Dmitry, are you still mad at me? I wouldn't have called you if I had anyone else to call."

"Just--what is it?"

"My employer--former employer, I should say--wants to discuss a job offer with me, but has asked me to sign a non-compete agreement first. It sounds shady to me."

"It's pretty standard for some industries and some high salary positions. What are they offering you, senior vice president?"

"I have no idea."

"It's usually only done with high level execs, and such. What job are you up for?"

"I don't know, yet. They won't discuss it with me until I sign the agreement."

"Read it to me."

Hailey read the entire agreement to Dmitry.

"That's pretty standard language."

"Even the $1 million dollar damages?"

"Yes. They could have gone higher, but $1 million is not unusual."

"Should I sign it?"

"Why not? What have you got to lose?"

"A million dollars."

"Just keep your big mouth shut if you don't take the position. I know it's hard for you, but for a million dollars you should be able to do it.

"OK, Dmitry, we're done. Thank you for that. I won't bother you again. Goodbye."

Hailey shut off her phone just as Mr. Roberts knocked on the door.

"Come in," she called toward the door.

The door opened and Mr. Roberts stepped through.

"Well, are you ready to hear our offer?" Mr. Roberts asked as he closed the door behind himself.

"I'll sign," Hailey answered.

"Good. I'll be right back."

Mr. Roberts turned and left the room again. He returned moments later with Cary and Alicia, another secretary on the floor.

"Ms. Andrews is going to sign this agreement, and Cary and Alicia are here to witness," he explained.

Mr. Roberts reached into a drawer and withdrew a handful of ballpoint pens. He gave one to each of the women surrounding his desk.

"Ms. Andrews, sign and date here, and here."

He pointed at her signature line. Hailey signed and dated the document.

"Cary, sign here."

He pointed again.

"And Alicia, you sign here."

Alicia signed.

"Thank you, ladies," he said.

Cary and Alicia turned and left the room.

"Before we get down to business," Mr. Roberts asked, "can I get you anything?"

"No thank you," she answered.

"Coffee, tea, soda, bottled water?"

"I'm good."

"Alright then. Before we get started let me preface my remarks by reminding you that you have signed an NDA which expressly covers the information I am about to share with you. You were given the opportunity to consult with counsel of your choosing prior to signing the agreement, and you have advised me that you did in fact receive legal advice. This is highly sensitive information that we have classified as trade secret. You cannot discuss any aspect of this information with anyone, or the firm will be irreparably injured to the tune of $1 million. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any questions before I proceed?"

"No."

"Excellent. Ms. Andrews, we have an open position here on the tenth floor. It is a considerably higher level position than the Junior Accounts Manager position for which you were previously considered. The official title of the position is Special and Sensitive Accounts Manager. The SSAM does not actually manage any customer accounts. Instead, the sole responsibility of the SSAM is to close deals. When negotiations reach an impasse, the account is referred to the SSAM who is tasked with closing the deal. Hence the unofficial but more commonly used job title, 'Closer.'"

"What does the closer do that the account manager or account associate cannot do? I mean, how does adding one more person to the mix result in a deal?"

"Excellent questions, and the answer to both is this: The closer does whatever it takes to close a deal."

"Umm, what exactly do you mean by 'whatever it takes?'"

"I mean precisely that. Whatever. It. Takes."

"Are you implying that the closer sleeps with clients?"

"Whatever. It. Takes."

"So if I'm hearing you correctly, you want me to be a whore--the company whore. That's what you're offering me."

"Not at all, Ms. Andrews. A whore sells her body for money. You will be using all the resources at your disposal to close lucrative deals. It's hardly the same."

"It's exactly the same. I think we're done."

Hailey rose from her seat and stomped off toward the door.

"Ms. Andrews, I understand that you might find this a little upsetting. It's a lot to take in all at once. But before you go, don't you think you should at least hear about the financial package that comes with the position?"

"Nope."

"Consider this. The last person who held that position is retiring at the age of forty-five with a fully vested pension and a seven percent ownership interest in the firm. Do you have any idea what that's worth?"

"Don't know and don't care. Buh bye."

Hailey reached for the doorknob.

"Ms. Andrews, do you have student loans?"

"Are you serious? Of course I have student loans. Who is there my age that doesn't?"

"I will pay your next five student loan payments if you will just sit and listen to the rest of my presentation."

Hailey released the doorknob.

"I just have to listen, that's all?"

"Correct. Whether you accept the offer or turn me down, I will pay your next five payments if you just listen to the entire pitch."

"You don't even know how much my payments are."

"Doesn't matter. I'll pay them. All you have to do is return to your seat and listen."

"Can I get that in writing?"

"You don't need to. I'll cut the checks right now."

"Deal."

"Give me your payment information."

Hailey complied.

"I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

Mr. Roberts stood up and left the room. He returned fifteen minutes later with five fully executed checks.

"Since I need to grab your interest, I'm going to jump ahead to the financial package. Normally I save that for last when I'm talking to a recruitment candidate. I'll circle back to the processes and procedures at the end.

"The first and most important thing you should know is that the compensation is based on commissions. We tried a base salary and bonus structure in the past, but we found this formula works better for everyone.

"You will receive a $2500 per month stipend. That is yours no matter what happens in the previous month. So even if no files are assigned to you or you somehow fail to close a single deal in a month, you will still be paid a minimal amount.

"You will receive a $5000 signing bonus when you sign the contract and another $5000 bonus upon completion of the training program.

"You will receive a.3% commission on all deals you close. That might not sound like much at first, but it adds up quickly. On a $1 million dollar deal you would earn a $3000 commission. Close one of those each week, and that's around $156,000 per year. Add in the $2500 per month stipend, and you're up to $186,000. That's triple what you make as an account associate, and more than double what you would earn as a junior account manager.

"We will only send you deals in the $1 million range during your probationary period. After that, you will see nothing but deals in the $5 million to $10 million range. After your first year you will be responsible for deals ranging from $5 million to $50 million, or possibly higher. Your commission on a $5 million deal is $15,000. If you close just one of those a month you would be making about the same as you would earn closing a $1 million deal a week. If you close two per month, well, then you're making close to $400,000 per year. Only the partners make more.

"Do I have your attention now, Ms. Andrews?"

"I'm listening."

"You will have an office here on the tenth floor, but you can work from home most days. Your responsibilities will be to study the files assigned to you and be prepared to close the deal once the arrangements are made for a face-to-face meeting. The file will consist of the entire financial structure and background material, as well as a detailed investigative report and psychological profile on your target compiled by the agency we have on retainer. We will give you all the tools you need to succeed. All you have to do is prepare and execute."