The College Library Gloryhole

Brenna had always liked libraries. The endless rows of books. The peace and isolation. The rooms full of people quietly dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge. Brenna had decided to apply to Green Valley College for a lot of reasons, but the first time she saw Knight Library was when she fell in love with it.

Knight Library was almost directly at the center of Green Valley's campus, offset ever-so-slightly from the central quad ringed with buildings old and new alike. It was built into a hill, with four stories above ground and the bottom floor, a partial basement, looking out onto the nearby Loon River. Its brick gothic edifice looked like it came straight out of the college catalog, with soaring spires and tall, narrow windows to let in light.

Almost immediately, Brenna had started working there, reshelving books and getting to know every corner of the old building. After two years, she had finally started working at the front desk, checking books out for students and helping people navigate the twisting halls and tight stacks. She loved it as much as she did when she first saw the building. That was why she didn't mind working on a Friday night, even if it was homecoming weekend and parties had been popping off all over campus since that afternoon.

Brenna stretched her arms and yawned, looking out at the nearly empty library. Her mousy brown hair hung well past her neck and, like the rest of her, was fine and unadorned, save for a pair of silver stud earrings. The late September chill was stronger at night, so she had also wrapped herself in a thick woolen sweater, jet black jeans, and well-worn leather boots, bumping her height up an inch or two.

Her gaze dropped back down to her notes. Contemporary American Literature wasn't exactly what she had come to Green Valley to study, but it was a requirement for all English majors. With a quiet sigh, she flipped her copy of Infinite Jest back to where she had bookmarked, trying for the third time to get through a particularly meandering chapter.

For a while, there was nothing but the quiet sounds that made up any library. A page turning. The clacking on laptop keyboards. An occasional cough. The gentle scuffing of feet on carpet and the squeak of a wheel in need of grease.

At the last sound, Brenna looked up to see Alice, the only other student working tonight, pushing a cart stacked full of books towards her. She must have seen the look on Brenna's face, because she stopped the cart to giggle. "Still trying to get through David Foster Wallace?"

Brenna grimaced. "I'm trying to figure out the appeal of postmodernism."

"Sorry it's not another book by an old dead white dude." Alice leaned against the cart. She was suspiciously well-dressed for a shift in the library, with a short, low-cut dress and meticulously done makeup. Her blonde hair had been subtly curled.

Sighing, Brenna closed the book. "David Foster Wallace is also dead, and white, and a man. What's your point?"

She shrugged. "I'm just saying you could stand to broaden your horizons a little. That's what college is supposed to be for, right?"

"I'm not going to the Zeta party, Alice."

With an exaggerated pout, Alice slumped back over the cart, jostlings its precious cargo. "Come ON, Brenna. It's homecoming! Live a little!"

Her only response was a huff of air through the nose as she spun in her chair. "I'm going to go home and try to get through this book, which will put me right to sleep, I'm sure." Brenna nodded towards the cart. "Shelving?"

"Yeah. It's a bunch of stuff from the Dungeon." The lowest story of Knight Library had been called the Dungeon for decades, by students and library staff alike. It was more cramped than the rest of the library, and darker, and less used. It had a few dark cubbies and private study rooms, though, so it got a lot more crowded around midterms and finals.

Brenna stood and put a hand on the cart, glancing at the clock on the wall behind Alice. It was about an hour until closing time. "I can do it if you want to take off early. You don't want to keep those frat boys waiting." She looked back at Alice with a wink.

Alice's face split into a grin as she grabbed Brenna in a quick hug. "Oh my God, you're the best, Brenna. Thank you! I'll cover your shift on Sunday." Before Brenna could protest, she held up a hand. "I insist. You can use the day to finish that book!"

She rolled her eyes. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that." Brenna waved her hand at Alice in a shooing motion. "Go."

She gave her another quick smile then grabbed her purse, darting out of the library as quickly as she could. As the heavy doors swung shut behind her, Brenna put a sign on the front desk reading "Out for Shelving" and started pushing the heavy cart towards the library's sole elevator. It had just enough room for her and the cart. She pressed the button for the basement and the elevator lurched to life, slowly descending into the Dungeon.

The elevator dinged and the doors swung open as Brenna pushed the creaking cart out. Alice had prepped the cart well, so it was a fairly simple matter of going through each row of bookshelves and putting the next book in its place, over and over again. It was repetitive, mindless work, but Brenna didn't mind. Not after a long week of work and class.

She didn't mind missing the party Alice was going to either, or any of the other ones. Brenna had always thought college was about learning, not cavorting and carousing. She enjoyed the occasional glass of wine in her off-campus apartment with a book, but the ragers, and the noisy crowds they attracted, weren't for her.

The fluorescent lights were harsh in the Dungeon, but strangely muted, like there was a pervasive darkness that never really went away. The sun had already set, so there was barely any light coming through the few windows looking out over the river.

There were a few students still studying here, for one reason or another, but none of them spoke to her. There was almost an unwritten code in the Dungeon against talking. It was the sort of space where really serious studying happened, or term papers, or anything else that required that extra level of brain power and silence.

Brenna placed the last book on the last shelf with a half hour to spare. She sighed at the sight of the empty cart and started pushing it back towards the elevator, but slowly. It had been a long week and she was just about tapped out, mentally and physically. She felt an uncomfortable pressure in her bladder and realized that she hadn't used the bathroom for her entire shift.

Rather than returning to the front desk, with another slog through a book she was slowly growing to hate, she decided to make a quick detour to the bathroom. Putting the cart to rest by the elevator, Brenna walked around the corner only to be met with a hastily scrawled "Out of Order" sign on the door to the women's bathroom. She sighed and was about to turn around, but paused. There couldn't have been more than five people down here tonight. What were the odds of someone walking in on her in the men's room, really?

The pressure in her bladder grew tighter, and Brenna made her decision. Glancing from side to side, she pushed open the door to the men's room quietly. The tile was dated and, like the rest of the dungeon, perpetually grimy. The mirrors were clean enough, and Brenna got a glimpse of her reflection as she passed the row of urinals on her way to one of the two stalls tucked in a corner. She looked a little haggard, but that wasn't too unusual late on a Friday night.

Thankfully, the toilet was clean, as was the rest of the stall. She locked the door and loosened her jeans to her knees before sitting on the toilet, relaxing as she started to pee. When she went to grab some toilet paper, she noticed the large hole in the wall for the first time, connecting to the adjoining stall. As she wiped and flushed, she couldn't stop looking at it. Was it supposed to be where the toilet paper dispenser went?

Brenna had just finished getting her pants back on when she heard the bathroom door squeak open, immediately followed by confident footsteps. She could see them under the stall, coming closer and closer. They stopped suddenly, and it was only then that Brenna realized he could see her legs.

She was frozen and praying that the mysterious stranger, whoever he was, was just there to use the urinal. Her heart sank when the feet kept going all the way across the room, and into the next stall. Brenna pushed herself to the side of the small stall, trying to hide her body from his gaze, especially if he decided to look through the mysterious hole.

He loosened his belt and dropped his pants. Brenna held her breath. Nothing happened. He didn't seem to be doing anything. Five seconds passed, then ten. The stranger coughed loudly, tapping his right foot aggressively next to her repeatedly, but Brenna didn't budge. As quickly as he came, the man grunted, buckled his pants, and fast-walked out of the bathroom, the stall door thudding dully into the metal frame the only sign of his presence.

She tried to be quiet as she opened the stall calmly and washed her hands, a little confused by the strange encounter. What was that man doing? What was the hole for? She poked her head out into the hallway, relieved that nobody seemed to be there, and walked back to take the cart up the elevator. She was back at the desk in no time, pretending to focus on Infinite Jest, when the head librarian walked through the lobby in quick, busy steps.

Doreen Clark was the heart and soul of Knight Library, and she had been since she started working there fresh after graduating Green Valley College almost forty years ago. Her steel gray hair was worn tightly, and her wire-rimmed glasses hid a pair of beady, black eyes that never missed a thing. She nodded curtly. "Good evening, Brenna. Did you finish that shelving?"

Closing the book, Brenna nodded back. Doreen gave her a rare smile. "Good. You're free to leave, it's just the two of us left in the building."

Brenna didn't doubt her for a second. Somehow, Doreen always knew exactly who was in the building at all times, more like a spirit haunting the halls than the obsessive old woman she was. Most nights, Brenna didn't mind staying until close, but it was officially the weekend, and she was grateful for the break.

She quickly packed her things as Doreen strode off to her office, her heels clacking and echoing in the empty lobby. Brenna took a deep breath and stood, taking in the quiet splendor of Knight Library as she did. The lights were still on, but the emptiness made it seem more grand and more serene, almost a sacred space. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she smiled before starting the half-mile walk back to her apartment.

The campus was deserted as she walked through the quad, cutting through a narrow alley between two classroom buildings on her way home. Brenna could hear the thumping music from Greek Row this far away, and the excited screams of students at one party or another. She shook her head, smiling softly. "I hope Alice is enjoying herself, at least."

She shivered as a gust of wind bit at her face, walking a little bit faster. In a few minuts, she was walking up to the two-story fourplex she split with five other students. The right side was dark, but her downstairs neighbor, Peter, was sprawled on the porch steps. A lit cigarette was dangling from his mouth, and a half-empty bottle of wine sat next to him on the cold concrete.

He waved broadly at her. "Brenna! You're back early." He paused, eyes unfocusing slightly as he took in her backpack. "Or late." Peter squinted at her. "What time is it?"

Brenna chuckled as she stepped past him, opening the door that led to the stairs to her apartment. "It's a little past nine, Peter. I just got off work."

A sputtering laugh made her turn around as Peter took another swig out of the wine bottle. "Working this late on homecoming weekend? Girl, you gotta take it easy." The lisp in his voice was strong, like it usually was when he was drunk. "Come on, have a drink with me. Brian and I split yesterday and I need to bitch."

On most nights, Brenna would have made her excuses and gone to bed, Peter's fourth breakup this year notwithstanding. Tonight, though, she could really use a drink. Maybe she was in the mood to relax after all. She walked up the stairs, yelling over her shoulder. "Alright, give me a second."

Unlocking her apartment, she flicked on the lights. By the standards of a college student, the space was luxurious. A small kitchen, a living room with enough space for a couch and a dining table, and her bedroom and a bathroom at the other end. Brenna shrugged off her backpack and opened the fridge, taking out a can of hard seltzer and heading back out to the porch.

The moon was starting to shine through the clouds when she sat next to Peter, cracking open the can and immediately taking a gulp. The noise from the parties was muddy and faded, but still there, just barely. Peter took a drag on his cigarette and raised an eyebrow when she took another drink. "Rough day at the library?"

As the drink settled in Brenna's stomach, she sighed. "Rough day of class, really. The library was fine. Dead, mostly."

"Bet Brian was there today. Looking for a rebound." Peter took another slug of wine directly from the bottle, offering it silently to Brenna, who shook her head.

"Peter, there's like twenty parties tonight. There couldn't have been more than a couple dozen people in the whole building, why would he be there?"

When he didn't respond, Brenna took another drink, hugging her knees to her chest as she looked out at the empty street. The silence stretched long enough that she looked over at Peter, who was staring at her, open-mouthed and incredulous. "You really don't know."

She snorted, finally starting to feel some of the alcohol coursing through her system. "I know everything about that library."

"Yeah? You know all about the Dungeon, huh?"

Brenna blinked. "I was just there like an hour ago. What's there to know?"

"God, Brenna, it's the biggest cruising spot on campus."

"The biggest...what?"

Peter sighed in exasperation. "Guys go there to hook up all the time, Brenna!"

She shook her head in disbelief. "No, no way. There's no way people could be having sex in the library. There's cameras, and staff, and..."

Her head whipped at the sound of Peter's giggle. "Brenna, you are just too damn innocent for your own good." Peter put out his cigarette on the porch, grinding it directly into the concrete, before he sat up, looking directly into her eyes. "They do it in the bathroom."

She furrowed her brow as she looked back at him before her eyes shot open, her heart sinking when she started putting the pieces together. The man who was acting weird and left abruptly. The strangely large hole between the stalls. The fact that everyone she hadn't seen a single woman in the Dungeon all night. "Oh."

Peter smiled as he wagged his finger in her face. "Oh? Oh what? Sounds like someone knew a little bit more than she was letting on!"

Brenna tried, and failed, to control the blush rapidly blooming on her cheeks. "It's not what you think! I was just...I..."

"Hey, hey, relax." She felt Peter start to pat her gently on the back as she drained the rest of her can. "I was just joking around. You're really easy to tease, you know that?"

She stuck her tongue out at Peter and he laughed again. "It just...made a few things make a little more sense. The ladies' room was closed and I really had to go, so I went into the men's room, and..."

Despite his earlier reassurances, she knew Peter loved gossip, and he could barely restrain his interest in what was next. She motioned for the wine bottle and poured a little bit of it into her can, taking a quick drink. "And?"

Brenna sighed. The embarrassment was fading, and her natural curiosity was starting to win out, buoyed by the booze. "A guy came in and was acting really weird. Coughing and tapping his foot. I just stayed quiet and then he bolted. And...there was a really big hole in the stall. Is that...do guys really...?"

Peter barreled forward, either oblivious or uncaring to whatever trepidation Brenna still had. "Use the glory hole? Oh, hell yeah."

As soon as Peter said the words glory hole, the pieces in Brenna's mind started to snap together like a puzzle. Brenna had never admitted it to anyone, but she had a guilty pleasure of reading trashy romances. Romance was stretching it, to be honest. Most of them were just glorified smut. Well-written smut, sure, but filthy all the same.

In one story, set in a vaguely Victorian society, the protagonist had been led into a room at a party, where all the gentlemen stuck their dicks through holes and the ladies serviced them. She had sucked her intended's cock before they had ever even kissed.

That scene had stuck with Brenna for years, particularly when she was alone in her bedroom late at night. She had never once expected to actually see a glory hole in real life, much less in the library. Her heart was beating fast, now, and images and fantasies of actually using it were flashing through her mind.

But she knew they were only fantasies. Brenna was still a virgin. Outside of a school dance or something, she had never dated anyone, in high school or in college, and had never really made the attempt. Some guys in her classes had asked her out, but she was never really drawn to the quiet and bookish ones that seemed to want her. Too much like herself, perhaps. In any case, her books were more than enough for now.

She had gone quiet while she processed everything, while Peter happily finished the bottle of wine and sauntered inside for another, bringing it out with two mugs. This one was an equally cheap bottle of white wine, fresh from the gas station down the street. He handed one to Brenna and poured a healthy amount into both cups, clacking his mug against hers. "Cheers!"

Brenna rolled her eyes, but echoed his toast as Peter practically drained the whole cup in one gulp. They spent a while talking about everything and nothing. After a few drinks, Peter decided he wasn't even that mad about Brian, but he did keep threatening to stumble down the sidewalk to the nearest party to try to find yet another hookup.

Even though she was tipsy herself, she managed to get Peter to stay on the porch, and start drinking a bottle of water. He was hiccuping in between sips. "Wish the library was open..."

Brenna turned away and bit her lip. "How...how do you know who's on the other side?"

He blew through his lips. "You can't, Brenna, that's the whole point! It could be, like, anyone, you know?"

She drained her glass. "How do you know it's not a woman on the other side, then?"

Peter looked at her like she was an idiot. "The dick?"

"No, I mean...if you, like...stuck it in the hole...how would you know?" The blush came back, but Peter was too far gone to chide her for it.

"Huh. Y'wouldn't, I guess."

"And would you care?"

Peter threw his head back and grimaced. "Fuck, Brenna, like...a mouth is a mouth. I don't give a fuck. Not at the glory hole."

Brenna was about to ask him something else, but the night was coming to an end. Stumbling, Peter stood and started making his way back into his apartment. "Ugh. I hit the wall, sorry. G'night." Brenna noticed he was still clutching the half-empty bottle of wine as he waved to her, abandoning the mugs on the porch.

"Night, Peter." She stacked both of them near Peter's door, yawned, and went to her own door, locking it behind her before making the somewhat unsteady climb up the stairs. She poured herself a giant glass of water and drank the whole thing before refilling it, making her way to bed. She was too tired to do anything else.