The College Sluts Ch. 12-14

Jane fought back tears, "You have no proof."

"I have your laptop, and it doesn't matter. They will trust me more than you. After all, how would I even come up with a story this insane?"

"Get the fuck out of my room!" Jane stepped forward, shouting at Bethany, "Get out!"

"OK, but I'm still going to report you," she scowled, "I still can't believe you are into that... you seriously need to get help. Get a therapist you freak."

"GET OUT!" Jane screamed, shoving the girl until she finally backed down. The second Bethany's feet were both on the bathroom tile, Jane slammed her door. Grabbing her desk chair, she shoved it under the handle so that it couldn't turn, keeping Bethany out of her room. Her hands were shaking as she ensured that the door couldn't open, after which she threw her body onto her bed.

The teen's mind was so overwhelmed that she didn't know what to feel anymore. Of course, she was extremely angry, but knowing that her secret with Anna and Chloe was soon to be exposed to the entire school and possibly result in Jane being kicked out of college was devastating. She didn't cry, however; it wasn't worth the energy.

Instead, Jane buried her head in her blankets and waited. With no other options, she waited until something changed or she died. There was no point in trying to bargain with Bethany or tell the college. She thought about Lilly and taking solace in her but decided that she didn't deserve another relationship. After all, it would probably only lead to more heartache.

Looking to remove all distractions, she threw her phone across the room. The device bounced off the far wall and crashed onto the floor. She didn't see where it fell, but it didn't matter; it wasn't like she was ever going to need it again. Pulling the covers over herself, she tried to turn off her brain. If she could just empty her head and wait, then everything would be fine.

Chapter 13: Recovery

"Jane?"

It was impossible to know whether the voice was real or not.

"Jane?"

There it was again, though Jane didn't move. After all, she had heard some voices before, and nothing came of them. It did briefly break the teen from her stupor though, just long enough to remind her how dry her throat was, how much her eyes hurt. Ignore it, you just have to wait the teen repeated in her head, trying to sink deeper into her bed.

But, despite her best efforts, the commotion in her room was impossible to ignore. The longer it went on the more obvious it became that it wasn't just in Jane's imagination. She became more aware of her current state, noticing for the first time in a while that her head was pounding.

Water, that was it. It had to have been... at least a day since she emptied her water bottle? She couldn't remember; time was becoming less concrete as she drifted. The roughness of her throat was now easily explained; she was severely dehydrated. Her head too, aching as her brain slowly depleted all moisture.

As a result, her body was slipping in and out of consciousness. One second, she knew where she was, lying in the bed in her dorm room. The next, however, she was in a void, or a white room, or nowhere. Nowhere was the best place to be right now and she tried desperately to go back there. Although, even if she scrunched her eyes more or pushed her face into the sheets, she couldn't change her situation.

"Call an ambulance! Go get help!"

The words registered but confused the teen; why get an ambulance? She was fine just the way she was, despite her body burning in pain. She had lost focus, that was all. Jane tried to turn off her brain. Don't think about it. Go back to waiting.

A sudden flooding of light stung her eyes; her blanket had been lifted up. Or maybe it was already off? She couldn't tell for sure as she was looking down into her mattress, any light making it to her eyes was bleeding in through her eyelids and the crack between her head and her bed. Why are my legs so sore?

Something was warm around her chest. It was warm and comforting but also... sharp? Jane didn't fight it, her body bending as she pulled upward. Maybe it was someone's arms? Maybe she didn't need to wait anymore, this was it. She tried to get a good look at them, open her eyes and confirm her guess. Her eyelids, however, felt impossible to move. Her energy was so low that even moving the thin flesh an inch was unbearable.

"Jane? Come on Jane, you're going to be OK."

There was warmth coming from the side of her head. Was it breath? The person talking? But was there someone talking? Jane knew there was something, she was sure that there was a noise in her ear. But, at the same time, she wasn't sure. After all, where would it be coming from? She was currently alone. There was no one else in the empty space in which she was laying. Or maybe she was standing?

She could hear a struggle but then she was returned to her bed. Though, unlike before, she was now on her back. So she thought, anyway. Everything was so disorienting that she couldn't be sure of anything. The light above her was brighter and Jane could see movement through her eyelids if she focused hard enough, so that was some evidence that she was now facing upward. No, that's not important. It doesn't matter.

She turned her head to the side, the brightness behind her eyelids diminishing. Her neck ached from the movement, but it was worth it even for the very brief relief. You're thinking too much, Jane. It's over. Just let yourself go. Blackness flooded back in as she slipped away, losing all sensation in her body. That's right, relax. This is all I can do.

"In here!"

The light returned as she was pulled from the abyss, shaken by the words. Her chest felt heavy in this position. With gravity weighing it down, breathing became harder. Jane could hear a long wheezing sound. It was only after it ended and another began that she realized it was coming from her own mouth. It didn't make sense though; the noise was far too loud. Could she hear her lungs filling with air? Her diaphragm ached, but it wasn't the source of the sound. It had to be her lungs. Or was it the shaky flow of oxygen between her lips?

Stuck in her own head trying to piece together the situation while simultaneously stopping any deeper thinking, the teen was surprised when she felt another hand on her. It pressed against her chest, though this one was cooler, almost damp feeling. She could tell it was a hand based on the pressure of each individual finger splayed across her chest, but it didn't feel like flesh. It felt... artificial.

It doesn't matter Jane, nothing matters. She let her mind go blank as her body fell limp once again.

~`~`~`~`~`~

Jane's eyes burned as she opened them a crack. A bright, white light came flooding in, disorienting the teen and making it difficult to make out her surroundings. Blinking, a middle-aged woman came into focus, though her face was still blurry. Jane could see her lips moving but was unable to make out any words. "W-what?" she whispered, leaning forward to better hear a response.

"No, just relax," the woman replied, putting a hand on the teen's chest and gently pushing her backward.

"R-relax?" Jane tried to sit up again, finding she was unable. Realizing that she didn't recognize her surroundings, she began to look around the room frantically. Or, as frantically as she could. Each movement was labored and painful, putting a heavy strain on her neck. Still, Jane figured out that she was in a small space, lying in a bed with a window to her right.

Though her vision continued to clear, the teen was still unable to make out what the woman was saying to her save a few words. Through her ringing ears she also occasionally heard a beep, the sound loud and abrasive between the otherwise constant white noise. Tracing the source of the noise, Jane realized it was coming from a machine to her left that was connected to a small tv. Following a wire down, she discovered a clamp connected to her index.

"Wha... this?" she lifted the finger slowly trying to wiggle it.

"That's to measure your pulse, it's ok."

Exhausted, Jane collapsed backward, her head sinking into a pillow. Her arm was sore, but she was unable to scratch it. Her hand was too heavy to lift and every time she tried the woman stopped her. "Hghh," Jane groaned, scrunching her eyes.

"Your arm will feel itchy for a little bit, it's from the IV. You'll get used to it eventually, just take some time to rest," the woman pulled up the sheet, covering Jane's body as she stood.

Jane tried to stay awake in order to figure out what was happening, but just the tiny movements she had made completely wiped out all her energy. Unable to fight it any longer, she gave in to the feeling of exhaustion and closed her eyes.

~`~`~`~`~`~

"Jane? Jane?"

Stirred from her slumber by a slight shaking of her arm, Jane was surprised to find her Dad's face a short distance from her own. Behind him stood her mom who had clearly been crying, her eyes red and watery.

The teen's chest hurt as she struggled to sit up, "Mgh... Why are you here?" Her lips were dry, and it was a challenge to form the words. Supporting her torso, Jane's lower back began to ache. Fortunately, following the sound of a few motors whirring, she felt the bed move up to meet her body.

Releasing the bed's controls, her dad sat back in his chair, "There, that's better."

Stepping to the side of the bed, Jane's mom tentatively reached out. Upon holding the teen's hand, she was surprised at how cold the skin felt. There was, of course, still some body heat, but significantly less than that of a healthy person. This only acted to further increase her distraught, the tears returning to her eyes as she struggled to speak. "Are you OK honey?" she whispered rubbing her thumb against the back of Jane's hand.

"I think s-" a fit of coughing cut the teen off momentarily, "I think so. W-what happened?" She tried to rub the sleep from her eyes but found the blurriness remained.

"We... we don't know exactly," her mom sniffled, "We thought you could give us more information. The nurse said..." she choked back tears, taking a second to regain some composure before continuing, "The nurse said you were severely dehydrated. You hadn't had water for almost three days."

"You're lucky that girl found you," her dad piped up.

"Girl?"

"I think the nurse said her name was Lilly," her mom explained, "S-she found you in your dorm room this morning. Y-you looked..." her lip quivered, the sentence trailing off into silence to prevent more tears.

"Lilly?" Jane's head ached as she tried to recall any of these events. Was she the voice I heard in my room? Why was she in my room in the first place? She pictured the girl's face and, with a sudden panic, realized the impact this likely would have had on her friend. "Is she OK? Is she here?" Jane sat up in a panic before remembering her weakened state. Wincing, she returned her head to the pillow.

"They haven't seen her since you were dropped off this morning."

Jane tried to think of how she could contact Lilly, "My phone?"

"Oh," standing, her dad pulled the device out of his pocket and handed it to Jane, "They found it in your room, but it was smashed and doesn't seem to work. I don't think they'll be able to fix it either. You know, phones aren't cheap. I wish you would take better-"

"Now's not the time Greg," Jane's mom interrupted, giving her husband a stern look.

Holding her phone, Jane could feel her hands shaking. The screen was smashed, and the back panel was missing. Despite her adjusting the battery a few times, it wouldn't turn on. As her dad had said, the phone was certainly beyond repair.

"So, I know... stuff is hard right now, but..." her mom kneeled down so that she was at eye level with Jane, "Can you tell us what happened? Why... what caused this?"

"No, it's not like..." Jane tried to clarify everything but quickly found that even she didn't have an explanation. "I didn't want this. I- I don't know what I was doing. Bethany... she..." Jane winced as she felt a pain in her head, "She... my stuff." Her throat closed, making it near impossible to continue. Perhaps it was an automatic reaction by her body to keep her from reliving the events, Jane didn't know.

"It's OK, we can talk about it later," her mother soothed. Patting Jane's arm, she stood back up and grabbed the tray of food from the table at the end of the bed. "Here, the nurse said you need to eat something," she held it in front of her daughter, "Not too much though, you haven't had anything solid for a few days, and eating a lot now is going to make you sick."

With shaky hands, Jane reached out and grabbed the tray. Her mom wheeled over a cart that had a table that hung over the bed, allowing the teen to set down her food. Just looking at it, she felt her stomach turn. As her mother had said, it had been some time since she had eaten, and hospital food wasn't exactly where she wanted to start.

The tray was relatively empty though, only containing a small bottle of sports drink, a fruit cup, and blueberry yogurt. She tried to open the bottle first but found her lack of strength made it impossible. Instead, her dad removed the lid so that she could take a few sips. He also opened the fruit cup, but Jane found her stomach protesting after only consuming a couple of pieces.

Still recovering from dehydration, she decided it best to stop to prevent any vomiting and further water loss. Only able to drink the juice, Jane slowly sipped away at the bottle. It took her roughly an hour to finish it as she sat with her parents in relative silence. Occasionally one of them would ask her a question but she usually didn't have an answer.

They wanted to stay longer, but Jane found herself over-exerted and exhausted and was unable to interact much longer. When the nurse came in to check on her and take away the food, Jane's parents decided that they should give her more time to rest. So, saying their goodbyes, Jane was left alone once again.

While she considered staying awake and enjoying the quiet, her body ached. After figuring out how to lower her bed herself, Jane pulled up the covers and settled in. Even with the support and comfort, the cramps in her muscles persisted and her eyes hurt. Her exhaustion soon overpowered the pain, however, and she was able to drift off.

~`~`~`~`~`~

The next time she opened her eyes the room was dark, and her parents were gone. Shifting in her bed, she was just about to fall asleep once again when sniffling to her right startled her awake. The chair next to her bed was occupied, a dark blob filling it. In the low light, however, she was unable to make out who it was. "H-hello?" she whispered.

"Hey Jane," the response came after an extended silence and sounded pained.

"Lilly?" Jane pushed herself, resting against the bed's headboard. She could see the silhouette shift in the chair, but Lilly didn't move any closer. Her eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness allowing her to better see the girl. Still, Jane wanted desperately to see her face which was impossible in the dim room. So, she reached up to turn on the bedside light but was promptly stopped by Lilly.

"No, l-leave the lights off... please."

She wanted to argue, but Jane decided to respect Lilly's wishes. "What time is it?" Jane's voice was raspy, still sore from her dehydration spell.

"Late... or... early? I guess?" Lilly's voice was barely audible.

"Why didn't you come during the day?"

Once again, the room fell into silence. Jane couldn't see Lilly and, therefore, couldn't gauge the girl's response. It seemed she struck a nerve, though. "I-I didn't mean-"

"It's OK..." Lilly sniffled, "I... I wasn't going to come at all, but I couldn't sleep."

Hearing this admission was like a knife in Jane's heart. After everything she had been through with the girl, learning that Lilly wasn't going to visit her in the hospital was devastating. Although, the teen remind herself that she wasn't the only one affected by her actions. After all, Lilly was the one who found her; that couldn't have been easy. And paired with her previous history of panic attacks, Jane was starting to understand the girl's situation. "I'm sorry."

"I thought you were dead. Why did you... why did you do this?"

"It's not what you think," Jane pleaded.

"Then what is it? No one knows what's happened, Jane!" Lilly began to cry again, "I- I can help thinking this is my fault, Jane! Do you know how hard it has been for me to... process this?"

"It's not your fault..."

"They said I was the last one to see you, Jane! I was the last one to talk to you! I told you that I thought we were maybe going too fast and the next thing I know, you've starved yourself of food and water..." The tears were now flowing in full force, Lilly balling as she admitted everything. "How can I not think... How can I not think that this is my fault?"

Hearing the girl's breakdown, Jane felt herself getting close to crying, but she fought back against the emotion. "It wasn't you, OK?" the teen's hands began to shake as she realized it was time to admit everything, as much as she was trying not to. "I haven't... told you everything about me."

"What?"

"It's... OK, it's nothing bad," Jane explained, taking a breath before continuing, "Before coming here... over the past year, I became close with my neighbors. A girl named Chloe had recently moved to Westroad -- the village I grew up in -- and began a relationship with another girl named Anna. After... a while, I got somewhat... involved with them I guess you could say."

Lilly was silent as she processed the information. So far, it was far better than anything she expected the teen to say. Still, it was clear that Jane was just beginning so Lilly listened as the girl continued. "I... hadn't been in a relationship before them. I mean, technically I still wasn't in a relationship with them. More of a... friend who occasionally had sex with them."

Jane looked to Lilly but was still unable to see the girl's face, "I learned a lot about sex and... relationships I guess when I was with them. They were... they helped me explore scat far more than I had ever done before. I really liked them but, of course, I had to move here. We still talk, but I miss them."

"So, what does that have to do with... all of this?"

Averting her eyes, Jane struggled to admit the truth to Lilly. While the more private and sexual nature of her past had already been revealed, she still found herself embarrassed. Not of Anna and Chloe, but embarrassed that she let this happen, and how she reacted to it. "When I was with you... Bethany... my roommate... She looked through my laptop and saw everything," Jane looked back at Lilly, bursting into tears, "I'm sorry!"

For the first time since arriving, Lilly moved forward and touched Jane. Holding the teen's hand, she tried her best to comfort her, "Shhh, it's going to be OK. Why are you crying?"

"I-I don't know!" Jane only cried more, her cheeks slowly becoming soaked in her tears, "S-she t-told me that she was-s going to tell the university!" Her voice was shaky as she struggled to speak. Feeling Lilly's touch and another person's warmth after what felt like forever was so unbelievably comforting, but Jane could barely hold herself together enough to notice it.

"She's not going to do that Jane," Lilly replied in a calm, quiet voice.

"But w-what if she does?"

Lilly held Jane's hand tighter, "I don't think the university or the dean or anyone else who works there is going to care. Especially not when they hear your side of the story and that she breached your privacy."

The words were empty, though. As logical as it sounded, Jane still couldn't overcome the fact that all her secrets were out. Even just one person knowing them was enough to devastate, regardless of how many other people Bethany had told since. She tried to voice this, of course, but her words failed her once more, leaving the room in silence outside of the teen's sniffles and tears.