The Compromise

Written in UK English. I am dyslexic, deal with it.

A loving but highly promiscuous wife, a knowing cuckold who is so in love with his wife and so scared of her leaving him that he denies her nothing. She denies him nothing sexually but almost kills him emotionally.

This short story may show it is possible to endure what must be endured for love, it may not.

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My wife June is a slut, for 20 years we had a great marriage, then she spread her legs for at least one other man, that she admitted to, and probably more. Simple choice, eh? Divorce and move on. You think? Life is rarely that simple.

At the time I was 56 and she is 13 years younger than me, so a very tidy 43-year-old a beautiful woman who I thought loved me as I love her, I was wrong. She had her own version of loving me, in it she felt she truly loved me, I couldn't understand how she could do what she did if her version held water.

Right then, I should have ditched her; thing was I still loved her and couldn't conceive of ever stopping loving her. That was what made her realise that she could fuck whoever she wanted because I had decided that I could live with what she's done.

She'd guessed correctly that I thought myself too old to start again, too much in love with her and in truth, too scared to be alone. And I would be alone because I'd no family within a thousand miles and we hadn't been blessed by children.

Two weeks after I'd accused her of cheating and she'd casually confirmed my suspicion, saying she wouldn't lie to me. She said the famous words, "Kevin, we need to talk."

"What is there to talk about June, you are fucking another man and I haven't threatened to divorce you. You've broken my heart you cunt, but what's left of it still loves you, I think I always will, no matter what. That is what I vowed to do. You breaking your vows is one thing, I took mine seriously. If you want to divorce me and set up house with another man, you do it."

June smiled at me, a hint of sadness, a lot of self-confidence, to the extent of a cocksure certainty that she could twist me around her little finger.

"Kev, please don't speak so harshly to me, this is why I need us to talk, I need you to understand what has happened to us. I know you are finding it hard to believe this, but I love you with all my heart, please listen to what I need to tell you."

"What is happening with me is a physical response, not an emotional one, I do love you I couldn't love you more, I've been so fucked up in my head about this that I've been to my doctor and through her I have been in therapy to understand what is physically happening to me and to try to get a hold on the emotional turmoil that my physical needs are creating in me. I promise you that it may not look like it but I'm struggling to get my head around it just as you are. I'm just a little further along the road of understanding it. I want you to come along that road with me and understand that what I'm doing is not intended to hurt you. Hurting you hurts me Kev, please understand that this is what the talk is all about."

"I understand what I have done is difficult for you to accept, the thing is I really don't want a divorce, I do love you, you are a wonderful husband, you are a great provider. Babe, I just don't love you in a "you make my cunt wet" sort of way anymore. Well, no, that's not exactly what I mean, I do like it a lot when we make love, I just need more right now than you seem able to give me."

"Babe, we always knew that it was possible that our age difference would someday affect us. I am a woman in her sexual prime in my early forties, I've never been so horny, if I'm not having sex at any given time, I'm thinking about it, wondering when I will next get laid. You've always been great in the sack Kev, but you know as well as I do that you have reached the age when you are great for one fuck, but a second? A third? I'm fucking insatiable right now. I've been reading up on it, it's something that happens to a minority of ladies before they get menopausal. Like the body is telling us, your sexual function is diminishing have another child while you are capable."

"My hormones are screaming at me to get fucked, but I don't want children, I need some big hard cock that can fuck me for hours, you can't give me that, so I need to get it now from someone else, I know this is painful for you, I don't like to hurt you, but I have always had the stronger libido and you've always loved benefiting from me wanting you, I never deny you."

"Speaking of libido, Kev, yours isn't what it once was, but that's ok, we are just a very different stages in our sexual lives. If we understand that and keep loving each other, we can work through this. Kev, I know what I'm asking is hard for any man to understand but you are an exceptional man, that's what drew me to a man like you, a bit older than may have seemed natural for me, but a kind loving caring man who I fell for and still adore."

"I love you and this won't last for ever. I'm hoping we can get through this period together. I promise to be discrete but I'm not going to stop fucking other guys, I just need sex more than you do right now."

"Can you live with it Kev, because I may be a cheating cunt but I will never leave you, that will be your call if you grow to hate me? I promise you that I'll never sell you short in bed, you'll get all of me that you can handle, I'm horny all the time, I need to change panties 3 or 4 times a day Kev, I will fuck you blind, but I need more, sorry Kev."

June sounded so sincere, I thought she almost certainly was. She was telling me how she was going to behave; I had no say in that, but she wanted to stay Mrs Hartford. But she was trying so hard to have me understand that this was a physical need she had found impossible to ignore.

There was more to come, she was going to lay out all her cards and then, what would be, would be.

She looked a little sheepish as she said, "Kev, I'm not going to run around behind your back anymore, if I want to fuck a lover, I want to be able to bring them back here to my house... our house. I'll move some of my things into a spare bedroom, I don't expect you to move out of ours, I know I'm not being respectful in this, but I won't humiliate you or disrespect you like that in our marriage bed."

"This is part of what I wanted to talk about, do you want me to move out of the bedroom completely or just when I have a lover? Please think it over and let me know what you want. Someday Kev it will be just you and me again if you still want me, I can promise you that. I will never love any lover, just you."

"Kev, I can't and won't try to put a timeline on this. I know I'm asking you to endure the pain of me fucking others, that is what it is, fucking, I will only make love to you. I know this sounds like so much horseshit from the cheater's bible of well-worn cliches, but I swear it's true. Please continue to love me."

And that was it, she had done all the talking, she had admitted what it sounded like but that is what she was selling me, horseshit or not, it seemed truly what she believed and if she truly believed it, could I accept that she really did love me, that this was her slaking a physical imperative?

Or was she a cunning bitch spinning me what she thought I needed to hear, and she was selling for her own benefit. I told her I'd think about what she had said and would talk to her when I was ready.

I told her that if this was what she intended to do, I thought we should get used to being apart so she should sleep in what would be her room. I told her that I would welcome her back into our room once she told me she as ready to be exclusive again.

Yes, I should have grown a pair, but I was scared of loneliness as I grew older, I'd more or less let her know that I would allow her whatever she decided I would do anything to keep her.

I did manage to throw her by saying, "June, when I bring women back to our house which bed should I use?" She looked alarmed briefly then smiled sweetly and said, "Kev you will never need another woman, I will give you everything, as often as you want it from me."

"Hardly the point June, if I decide to fuck other people do I do it in our bed? Oh, sorry, it's not our bed anymore, you are moving into your bed in your bedroom to fuck your lovers. OK then."

With that, minor attempt to upset her, I walked away went out to the garden and sat with my thoughts in turmoil.

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It was ten days later on a Friday that June called me just before the end of the working day. "Kev, I won't be home for dinner tonight, I'm going out with a friend, and I just thought I should tell you that I'll probably be bringing him home. I wanted to give you a heads up, so you are not blindsided or shocked."

Well at least she was being somewhat considerate of my feelings, but I felt sick to my stomach, things were becoming very real, and I would get my first knowing taste of her infidelity, I'd soon know if I could persevere or if we were reaching the endgame as a couple.

That night was hell for me, they came in around 1 am and not long after that the sounds of sex were obvious, they were noisy, she seemed to cum every few minutes, she shouted, screamed or grunted through her orgasms and I hear that fucking brass bedhead banging the shit out of the wall for half the night as he pounded her relentlessly.

In the morning I was awake and down having breakfast at my usual time, then bump, bump, bump, the fucking headboard started to beat the shit out of the wall again and I heard her screaming through another couple of orgasms.

Maybe 15 minutes later I heard them coming down the stairs. My back was to them, and I was not sure whether I was expected to endure an introduction to the guy who had given her what I couldn't all night, but with barely a word of goodbye, the front door opened and closed, and he was gone, unseen by me.

"Well, out here at least I don't have the embarrassment of neighbours seeing your lover leaving in the morning." I turned and looked at he for the first time that morning. She looked satisfied and thoroughly well fucked, happy too. Seemingly she was not at all concerned about my reaction.

"That fucking headboard needs to go, I heard it all night. I take it you enjoyed that, I also think I understand a little better, there is no way I can give you a session like that, I heard you cumming so many times last night, then again this morning. I can't compete with that. Too old, too unfit, I'm no use to you, I know that now, you win. I'll get our lawyer to draw up the divorce documents, we can split things 50:50 you can get someone who gives you what you need..."

"Listen to yourself Kevin Hartford, what a fucking pity party, stop and listen to me one more time. I love you, I don't want a fucking divorce but I need more sex than you can give me right now. In fact I'm still horny, if you were game, I'd take you upstairs and fuck you right now. Listen Kev, I LOVE YOU, now please stop talking about divorce."

"His cock turns me on, I had great sex but Kev, he's gone, I don't want to spend my life with him, I don't love him, in fact out of bed, he has nothing of interest to say and the truth is he is boring company when he doesn't have a hard on. I don't want to even spend a weekend with him, no man can stay hard all weekend and I'd go out of my mind with boredom spending the time between sex with him. Look Kev, the fact is his cock is the only bit of him I like."

I looked at her and again saw nothing but her being truthful. "So if I want to fuck you right now, you'll take me to bed?"

"Yes baby, any time you want me I'm yours. Do you?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that." I replied quietly.

She smiled at me, not a mocking smile, it was her best loving smile that I know so well, "You only ever have to ask, Kev. I love you. Kev, I know this is hard, I sit here telling you I love you and I have another man's cum in my cheating cunt but I do love you. Please give this time, we can make it past the hurt."

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And so, it went on, we did get a new headboard, leather and well padded, no more banging noises all night. No. now it was just her orgasms keeping me awake. It happened more or less regularly, usually Fridays, most weeks but not every week, after all she still had the painters in once a month and that puts off most guys.

I'll not say I got used to it, I never liked it, I'm not made that way, I just dug in, resolved to persevere and wait for her to come back to me as a proper wife should. I did think a lot about it, I did start to draw my conclusions and some really surprised me.

Trust: well, yes, she had gone behind my back, however when I confronted her, there were no games, a clean confession and then she told me what she intended to do. Within that, after the confession, I never doubt her truthfulness because she was very open about what she was doing. I also do not doubt at all that she truly loves me, not monogamously as I want, but she clearly loves me.

Lovers: yes, although we play the game that I sit with my back to the stairs and she ushers them out quickly so I've never seen her lovers, I am aware with different voice tones that it's not the same guy always. She has convinced me that is a good thing, she was not falling in love as she had assured me that she wouldn't.

Future: I'm not as gutted as I had been when I discovered her cheating, I decided to wimp out on being the tough guy and telling her to get out. I compromised, letting her do this in the hope that she would come back to me. You see despite everything, despite the pain this inflicts on me, I still love her and I know that in the terms above she 100% loves me too. I can wait but it is hard to tolerate. Will we really get back to where we were, well that is next to impossible, but can we have something that satisfies both of us? I think we can, but the danger is that I get more and more worn down and my regard for her will deteriorate, not the love but certainly my regard for her as a person and as a partner.

Sex: I asked her to leave the marriage bedroom permanently until she decides that she can be exclusive. My little act of defiance was that I have refused to have sex with her. It's been 8 months since we last had sex, I know she doesn't like that, she keeps suggesting it is not healthy for our relationship. The first time she said that I laughed in her face and said "And you fucking men outside our marriage is healthy for our relationship? Grow up June."

I clearly saw the pain in her face at my response but, fuck it, what did she expect. She at least had the grace to look embarrassed that she had opened herself up to that comeback.

She has also asked if I'm not incredibly frustrated and reminded me that she is always available to me sexually. I think my refusal to have sex with her is hurting her, albeit maybe not as much as her sex with other men is hurting me.

She started out thinking that my refusal too have sex with her was a token act of defiance, but she was wrong. It is the only way I can get through to her that what she is doing is unacceptable and whilst I still love her, I'd rather go without that be a participant in sharing her. It's all I've got unless I leave her.

I've installed a large-screened TV in my bedroom with a good sound system. Two or three times a week I watch porn, and I play it loud, so she hears the soundtrack and can guess that I'm using Mrs Palm & Her Five Daughters to keep frustration away. No need for me to sleep with her or fuck her ever again, unless I'm the only man she fucks.

So, we have reached a bad place, not sleeping together, not having sex with each other and around the weekends when she will be getting fucked, we hardly talk. Between times we do not communicate like we did.

It's obvious that our marriage is sailing towards the rocks, is holed beneath the bowline and nobody can be bothered bailing out the inrushing tide that threatens to sink it without trace.

I'm unhappy because my wife is a slut, June I know is unhappy because the guys who fuck the shit out of her on the weekend were supposed to be extra sex not replacing our 2 or 3 times a week. I keep wondering will it spread throughout the week, if it does we are finished, I can just about keep sane with what is happening now.

Yes I know I won't get much understanding, that almost everyone will regard me as a cuckold wimp but until you have been in a situation your opinion is at best guesswork, at worst bullshit. I know enduring this is not exactly manly but fuck it, I love her, I fear life without her, I persevere.

I don't know how long I can continue with a human touch other than my own and the odd platonic touch between us and even those keep getting less frequent. She had been horrified when I talked about finding another woman for sex but that is now much closer to happening than when I first mentioned it. Then it was to put her on her heels thinking this was just about her needs. Now it seems pretty much inevitable and I suspect she will selfishly not be able to handle that.

It was getting more obvious by the day that she wanted much more than just one night a week, no matter how many times her studs fucked her overnight and the following morning. I could see that her mood was becoming supressed if not yet depressed. I know another "We need to talk" moment couldn't be far away.

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The Monday after she'd been fucked long and loud at the start of the weekend, after dinner, it happened. "Kev, we need to talk."

I looked at her, not revealing anything about my mood, "Go on."

"Kev, our marriage is dying and neither of us is doing anything to save it. I have an idea but first of all, do you want to save it?"

I thought, of course I want to save it, but was it too far gone to do that, that was the real question. I even dragged it out hoping she would see it as me pondering her actual question rather than the one I'd asked myself.

"June, I have never stopped loving you, I don't think I'm capable of that. And I've never wanted not to be married to you, but is it too late? Well, something major needs to happen, we've drifted apart for 9 months, I wank to porn to stop going crazy, you get fucked all night nearly every Friday night. By the way, you were right, there is no way I could offer you that. We are heading for divorce if things don't change."

"OK, Kev, I don't want a divorce but I'm not ready to give up the sex I need to keep me sane, I'm sorry but I really need more than you can give me right now. I'm so sorry to say that it sounds very cruel.

The thing is if I said that I'll be exclusive to you right now, I'd worry that I'd end up cheating. I know you probably think that is what I've done for the last 9 months but I'm not doing anything behind your back, that might be more important to me that you, I suppose, but I'll never lie and cheat on you again."

"So, what will we change to see us getting back to where we should be June? I've no idea if you aren't suggesting giving up the cocks on the side. I have to tell you I'm fed up using my hand, I've been thinking for the past two weeks of going outside our marriage just like you. I know that would probably finish us and I've spoken to a lawyer in preparation for divorce, he's preparing papers on the basis of a 50:50 split and irreconcilable differences."

June burst into tears, "No, please no Kev, I can't handle a divorce, we've got to fix things. Kev can you not see how desperate I am to stay married to you? I know my actions suggest otherwise, but my heart is purely yours, for fuck's sake Kevin Hartford, I love you, I want to be married to you forever."

"I hate that I'm a horny slut who needs more than my wonderful husband can give me, I know it hurts you, and hurting you hurts me to my core. Right now, I have this physical need, I swear I'm not doing this just because I want it, I need it. I'm sorry Kev but please don't leave me."