All Comments on 'The Contract Ch. 02'

This second chapter turn out to be better than I thought was going to be. The fact that the husband can figure out what the whole plot was about and that he was being set up ... was a pleasant surprise. It was a surprise in the way it was done and it's a surprise in that the husband is able to be rational intelligent and strong.

The husbands initial reaction that maybe his wife was just putting on a show for the tape recording... Seems to be a very odd conclusion for him to initially come to given the Weiss intense hostility and contempt in her actions and voice.

I am not sure I am comfortable with the idea of hooking up with Mary and Sherri. They have known for several months that the wife has been cheating and only now they come up with this cockamamie silly plan to let him know what his wife was doing. They may have been doing this for the right reasons but the plan was goofy.

I am not sure I want women like this being involved in any sort of parenting activities skills or decisions

.. this waiting a week and a half between chapters is no good - I don't want to have to reread the previous chapter(s) everytime to remember the details.

you made the main character so dumb i wonder how he holds a job, then he gets a check for 100,000 dollars and he didn't look at the date, doesn't know how to use a tape recorder. I'm sorry but tell the story and unless you are that dumband i'm not saying you are don't make your characters SO STUPID.

Does it really take several hours before a regular person understands what he was told, or are you intentionally minimizing the intelligence of your hero? And even when it doesn't take hours, things have to be repeated before he understands? As for suddenly introducing a skill exactly at the moment it is needed, bad very bad writing, it should have been introduced earlier to set the background, helping along character development, introducing Korean principles that helped form his cool calm demeanor.

Oh my god, no one but no one will ask if the attackers will fight a karate black belt (you did say Tae Kwan Do which is Korean, not Japanese right?). A real black belt holder will not, repeat not boast! This must be a particularly boastful school that he goes to. And what is the obsession with "set up"? No he is not being framed!!! No one is framing him or ensuring that he comes to no good. Someone is planning a good deed, and while may be manipulating it a bit is not at all doing a "set up". Yes people use this interchangeably, but it is incorrect usage. Just like people who misuse "ironic" without consulting the dictionary. Last and best suggestion: get an editor who can do more than correct your spelling mistakes.

The hero is a bit of a moron at times, as others have commented, but in his situation it is human to become distracted with your thoughts and not notice exactly what people are saying to you.

This story has a little odd and interesting flavor to it. I am mostly enjoying it. I have the same concerns as others about Mary and Sheri. They are too manipulative for my tastes. Who needs to put up with all this plotting and planning? I have a big problem with the "fight" thinking. He approached three idiots about harassing a woman. He told them to cut it out or be reported. He didn't threaten violence, just confronted a wrong behavior. The idiots are the one who initiated a fight. Martial arts philosophy doesn't say that you have to ignore wrong behavior, just not to act aggressively for the sake of picking a fight. He didn't. The idiots chose the fight and they got surprised. Having him agonize over his actions was pathetic. He acted for a just purpose. Maybe Sheri didn't like it. Too bad. The fools were behaving badly and people tolerating it just allows the behavior to continue with other women. When you tolerate bad behavior you deserve the result, which is a cruder and less valuable society. Another issue in the story is that several conversations seemed to repeat the same information over and over. This man is not an idiot. Sharpen up the presentation. Address an issue and move on. Now I'm waiting for his wife to be dealt with. Her disrespect needs some payback. If she had just been cheating he divorces her and leaves. But she turned it into more than that so there needs to be a response beyond the divorce. Finally he needs to get some control of the Mary and Sheri relationship. They are too clever for their own good and especially his. He needs to protect himself.

Wow! We have a Bruce Lee here.

What little I know about martial art is that it was made/created/formed for "defense". I've heard that (correct me if I'm wrong) the first rule in martial arts is — Don't get hit. Staying out of the way of getting hit is the first line of "defense". What our Brue Lee did was just a "defense" one of those idiots took the initiative and attacked him. They were sexually harassing Sherri, he warned them, well...rest is the history.

*-*-*

Sherri and Mary are too manipulative with a lot of planning and plotting, and maybe Paul needs to think about their “plan”. I’m waiting for a confrontation scene with Tonya; let’s hear what she has to say about her “affair” with Ben.

Overall the premise of the story is good, and the idea is different than what we normally read in Loving Wives stories, but watch out for errors — there were plenty of them. I just hope the next chapter is out soon.

~Kelly~

You're going to get gripes about anything you write. This is an interesting story. It's not only held my interest, but I;m getting more hooked the further I get into it.This is the kind of story I come to this site to read. Thank you. Looking forward to further installments.

I'm enjoying the story. Not sure how I feel about Mary and Sherri, I get the impression they may have been sitting on this information for a while? Still, sounds like a good proposition, father a series of children with 2 hot bisexual chicks. Mary knows he isn't going to give up parental rights and seems ok with the implications of a long term connection. I'm looking forward to the confrontation with the slut and her lover. He may have let the marriage slide, but then so did she. She's the one who had the affair and so is the guilty party here. Take half of everything, give her the rest. No alimony, sue the school (and the lover?) for the actions of their employees and he should be sitting pretty. You have to look out for yourself, no real need to torch the bitch, but make sure to get all that you can out of the situation.

. . .(drum roll please). . . Mary and Sherri are trying to bring him into the fold(s)! (ROFLMAO!!! I made myself laugh!) So far so good, sounds like we gotta another martial artist on our hands, but he doesn't appear to be on a wimp out path. So many of our current authors believe that just because our protagonist is a black belt, ex-Navy SEAL, and can kill you with one finger in less than a second, he must not be a wimp for taking a cheating wife back. Even if she only cheated twice, once with his best friend, and once with the U S Army.

... is not having to pay alimony (even if he hadn't quit his job). Adultery cannot be used as a cause for divorce in most states, but a spouse who gives a partner an STD is given the bare minimum in most courts. He can also sue this Ben guy for alienation of affection (if it is legal in his state).

if he can keep things from getting too serious with marry and Sherri having some fun with them ... think of it as a reward for playing to good decent guy... would be great.

but their Plan even if they meant well is too convoluted and shows way too much ' skullduggery'... why not just come out and say it ?

But if some asshole gave my wife than me the clap, I'm afraid his sorry ass would be mine. And these two cheaters would be in another line of work, away from kids. I hate the macho wimp, kung foo Charlie that won't whip the boyfriends ass or take them down. If she caught you fucking around she would cut off your balls, so take them down, please.

Enjoyed both of your chapters and felt they were well written and creative. Thanks of sharing this story.

I have enjoyed your plot and characters quite a bit. The martial arts information was not necessary and these days way too cliche. Having practiced for over 30 years, I appreciate what you wrote, but somehow always find the backgroud people write weak. As to his actions, for much of this he was reacting, and is just now starting to take back control and I am very interested to see what you have him do from here. The wife, lover and affair are cliche, but cliche in a real life manner, sense much of real life is pretty damned cliche too. I like the emphasis on your main character and how he acts to the unusual circumstances rather than a focus on the affair, revenge and all of that. My one concern is that sense his wife was his muse, and he is planning to go back into the arts, will he find another, or are you building up to him getting back with her. I think that would be both a mistake and very unrealistic. An affair might be forgiveable for some men, giving a man an STD is a very powerful act, even if accidental.

Pretty tiring stuff to read so far. The main character is depicted to be a pretty big man who is willing to tell his co-workers and his friends that he is probably going to divorce his wife before he has the courage to confront her with the revelation. Confrontation scenes must be pretty difficult to write and easier to avoid. The problem is that when the author tries to avoid the inevitable because it is difficult to write, the dialogue starts to become circular and the characters become boring and less sypathetic. By the time the story finally starts to wind down, the reader hardly cares. In this case going into the next chapter, the alleged cheating wife is the most sympathetic character. She is probably better off dumping the husband who is afraid to confront her and staying with the lover. At least the story needs to have something from her point of view so that the reader can gain an insight on why we should care about the cheated upon husband. Keep trying though. The site needs a few more authors in order to provide some alternatives to JPB and Slirpuff. Ohio, USA

You really didn't pay much attention to this one. Missing words, missing letters, bad grammar..and you had the 3 harassers at work call him 'Ben'. And suddenly he's a black belt in karate? why didn't you just go to the old Loving wives standby cliche and make him a Navy seal? and how did a mini pocket recorder pick up the doorbell ringing DOWNSTAIRS?

but becoming a little bit winded.

....some minor writing errors, a couple dumb plot devices, but the main story is far more complex and interesting than the average story here. I like that the "hero" is a little slow to the table, it is necessary to make his possible cooperation with these two basket case women seem reasonable. Most of the readers here want every possible facet of a story covered, even Twain and Dickens couldn't live up to that pipe dream. Poster asking for less time between postings is absolutely correct though. Get 'er done, then post!

Plot has me captivated. Thanks.

Now that's hard to do! Keep writing, you have my interest!

can't wait to see if he Dumps on the Ex and her Lover and causes them to lose their jobs or does . He just dump Tonya and move on w/o either

Sherry or Mary?

I agree with the winded comment very very very long winded. Talking just to hear your own head roar is never attractive.

The husband compromises his dreams wife cheats on him when he asks her to go with him. He doesn't pout or get drunk but comes straight home. slut wife is already in bed and bitches about him getting drunk etc and all he says is sorry so she will stfu. how does he share the fault when he is the faithful provider who supports wife's choice? In the later chapter we learn that she has been hiding her money for years. There is no equivalancy. He reminds Mary that he is married. He warned the harrasers that he would report them if they did not stop. They come at him 3-1 and he's the bad guy? This makes no sense.

We still have a lot of ground in front of us. My suggestions to the author would be the same as others have given: Proofread and write the whole story before posting anymore of it.

An interesting idea was having Ben teach him how to be a better lover via

recording.....

By definition I am a Moron, because I never check the date on checks received. Good thing everything is going electronic down here...

Constructive reviews but let's allow the author to reach his stride before being to critical

Good chapter two. It allows the continuation while revealing a few details which will be important in this series. On to chapter three...

Mary caught Chlamydia from Ben

Chlamydia is an STD

STDs are required to be reported to public health who ask for a list of sex partners

So why does Ben still have Chlamydia?

The whole Mary - Ben - Tonya and Mary - Sherri business got pretty convoluted. And another Black Belt! We could have done without that.

It was such a good story until he suddenly turned out to be a martial arts pro... 2*

He could look for a straight woman with no baggage

You have had trouble figuring out which pronoun to use.

Don't fall into the habit of using worn out clichés.

Otherwise a good story.

parking lot confrontation was unnecessary to the story line. STD of any kind has to be reported and names of partners by law must be given. However, what a tangled web of deceit and desires. Easy ending? Mary, Sherri and Paul all share(?) a house, kids and Paul does art fulltime with 2 Muses.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Interesting so far.

Unlikable characters all