All Comments on 'The Corner Table at Mickey's Pt. 04'

What an excellent story.

I enjoy subtlety (something that I don't do well, or when I try I feel like people will not understand my intent), and your style is so good with that. I will admit that there were several times that I had to go back and re-read something to ensure that I was capturing the tone correctly, or to ask myself if there was a further implication that I was missing, but this was an excellent read.

I was ready to throw Mallory into the Allegheny on several occasions, but I suspect that was the intent.

Thank you for sharing your talents with us. I truly enjoyed this.

Great story!

5

Really nice job. Nicely set up for a follow on with Lori, now that she's shown regret and some potential for growth ?

It’s been an absolute joy to read this. Thank you for putting it out into the world and making this place a little bit brighter. I laughed, I frowned, I cried a bit (at the scene with Mal seeing him running). I’ve enjoyed your writing so much, and I’m so thankful.

More Tawdry stories please :)

Lovely finale. Such a great story!

5*. A delightful cast of characters and a lovely growing romance. Thank you for sharing this story!

I still love the writing but I have stand by my comments of chapter 3. Mallory is shallow. She had to mold Jim into what she wanted physically and ignored the man inside the average body. What happens when he can no longer run those miles or hit the gym that often? Jim would love her as she is for the person she is. This is not a relationship that will last as Michael has ruined her forever. She is into the body image over the person and his values.

I enjoyed reading this. You write well and you keep your characters and their thoughts and actions sorted beautifully in this fairly complicated tale. I find gym rats moderately annoying. You used that to advantage by the back and forth exchanges debating the merits of being a slave to good looks vs.the slobovian method of anatomical haute couture. I scored all four chapters as fives and would have rated them top grade no matter the point system. It's such a pleasure to read someone who isn't merely a competent writer but actually excels at it. Thanks, Chasten. I love your series.

Fantastic story. Jim is way more chill than me.

Absolutely great characters, they made the story. Warm and fuzzy reading all the way through. Would have been erotic with no direct sex at at all (like the Addison stuff). Refreshingly not syrupy. Can't wait to read more from this author.

What more could you want? Well developed characters; all with flaws. The author gave this story a well developed new love sort of feel. I thoroughly enjoyed all of it. Best of all is the progression of Jim and Mallory's relationship. There was slow growth with steps back, but always progressing in a cautious deliberate path. Well done.

Excellent story, sir.

Thanks!

5's for ya!

A Treat

I was hoping for Jim & Addison but I knew it wasn't going to happen.

Very good story with some well developed characters; an enjoyable read

Yup, a second chance... Great writing, thanks

I will not forget these charcters and I shall.always remember this story.

Excellently written story. I rated it a well-deserved five stars.

My problem is I didn’t buy the happily ever after. Mallory doesn’t just think she’s out of his league; she thinks she’s WAY out of his league. She’s going to keep trying to improve his looks, and he’s never going to measure up. He wants to lose 20 pounds? No, he needs to lose 25 or 30. He can run two 9 minute miles? But she runs four 9 minute miles. And it’s not just his shape; she didn’t like his hair either. (Really intrigued why the author included that detail.) In short, she is going to “Michael” him.

I don’t see them working out long term. In my mind the ending to this story is that he gets sick of her shit and they break up just as Addison decides she’s ready to settle down. Addison actually likes Jim as opposed to seeing Jim as a fixer-upper.

I’ve been married long enough to understand all women view their man as something of a fixer-upper, but in Mallory’s case it’s just too extreme for a relationship based in mutual respect to function properly. I think the author realized this too. Why didn’t we get a sex scene at the end? Because there is no way to pull off a plausible sex scene when she thinks that she’s a 10 but that he’s a 6 on a good day.

Unless Mallory gets some real psychological help she will drive Jim away. When she does maybe Addison will still be around. See another chapter sometime in the future, hopefully. Please continue writing, all of your stories are excellent.

An all time favorite now. Thanks.

Great story and interesting characters. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing this story with us.

I generally like your stories, but couldn’t make it past page 2 of this last chapter. I can’t stand Mallory. Others have voiced my feelings that she needs psychological help and she’s trying to “Michael” him.

Great Work - But I'm left to wonder...

This was a very interesting and entertaining story that certainly became more and more engrossing as the characters and related situations were revealed. Even Mallory made efforts to change back towards the young woman she used to be, and I expect she did more in that effort than was perhaps obvious to a casual reader. She and Jim began to change together and with each others help, so the conclusion reaches an agreeable point. The story is that for the author to tell, not the commentators. That said, has all been said?

But, is it truly finished? I'm not sure.

Real life is often like stepping stones, especially concerning relationships. And I can't help wondering 'what if' regards Addison.

Thank you for this. Please keep writing these amazing stories.

It took a clear weekend after all the ‘honeydos’ were completed before I could finally finish ‘The Corner Table at Mickey’s’. I read a lot of HEA romances, by supposed best selling authors, and it’s been a long time since I’ve read a novel this well conceived and executed. Mallory - what can I say about her? What a superbly rendered heroine. Can’t stand her, wring her neck, salve her wounded soul, and ultimately fall head over heels in love with her. While Jim’s the rock solid foundation of the story, she’s mostly definitely the heart.

By the way, are there hints of other stories in there - Tom and Shannon?, Robin and D.H.?, Lori and ???

My only other question for you is where are you published - is your work for sale?

Guess all i can say in the end is I feel sorry for Jim. The only one I disliked more then Lori, was Mallory. Poor guy just can't get a break, going from Lori to Mallory is like falling out of the pot to land into the fire. Perhaps its just me, but I found her to be a tad too narcistic. I thought models were a bit obsessed with their body image, but she takes the cake. Her self worth and every bodies worth was centered around how fit they looked. I can see how a model would think that way, their entire income is centered around how they look, but they also know that there is a times up on their career. I honestly think she is in for a ruff time when it comes to her aging gracefully. Never mind if she has a biological clock ticking. Hopefully kids are a non starter for her and Jim. I just can't see her putting anyone higher in importance then herself, kids, husband etc. I did like it that she seemed to be changing somewhat, sure she was perhaps getting a bit more wise. Just perhaps not enough for me to care for her, but that's probably just me. Thanks for a great story, I truly loved most of it.

I guess I can sum this up in 2 quotes. The difference between intelligence and wisdom is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but having the wisdom to realize that tomato's don't belong in a fruit salad. I can see Mallory making a fruit salad with tomato's and serving it to Jim, while Jim eats it, thinking a Happy wife is a happy life.

Enjoying the tale, but get lost in some if the words. Even goggling didn't help. What is meant by: mog or a gombeen

Got boring after a while

Well written with great characters. By the end of the story I couldn’t help feeling that Mallory wasn’t much of a prize. IRL a narcissist like her would probably need counseling to overcome her “nobody but hardbody jocks are worthy” view of life. Failing that, I don’t think she’d be faithful for long if he gained 5 pounds back... His “friend with benefits” seemed like a better person.

I loved the character development and couldn't stop reading.

It's nice to read stories based in reality as opposed to the the fluffy fantasy romances.

Being a synic and hopless romantic(if that's possible) I see where some comments are warry of Mallory. I as well would question the sustainabilty of their relationship given her persona. But, coming from experience, I also saw Mallory grow over time, and recognize her own short comings taking steps to over come them. Some wounds run deep and aren't easily dismissed. That in itself makes me appreciate her (the romantic in me). Either way, relationships are not fairy tales and need nurturing regardless of compatability.

Wow. What an amazing story, so delicately and subtly told. The characters are deep and rich, the storyline extremely satisfying. Your ability to ‘show’ rather than ‘tell’ is impressive - perhaps even sometimes too indirect. I have a feeling that may be behind what’s some of the discontent with Mallory in the comments. In my view. Mallory is complex and flawed, but as she gets feedback from her friends about her own behavior, she’s eventually able to rise over the quick judgements and shallow assessments, and to understand what she really values and fears in a relationship. That flip at the end makes it clear: dinner was for achieving a goal that he’d set and she’d shifted into wanting him to achieve for himself, not for her. Likewise, the sex was because she loved him for who he was, not as a reward. Thanks for this beautiful story.

Really great story, very well developed characters with a realistic outcome. I thought you handled mallory brilliantly, yes she is flawed, but the thing is she knows it. Nobody ever changes until they admit that to themselves.

Outstanding! A fantastic read! Thank you!

Great story! Yeah, fairly screwed up characters but that’s what made it a story worth reading. Scars, baggage, wounds, and maybe a dose of PTSD. No perfect people, ones that struggled to find wholeness and it made for a heartwarming and empathetic adventure. Thanks!

Good friends and romance. Working hard in places but made it enjoyable. A. jtwheels

Of all the female protagonists in your "Romance" stories, Mallory has got to be by far the least likeable.

Mallory would have never have accepted Jim if he kept those exact same "flaws" that made Lori go "wandering". So what's the difference between those two?

Just my honest opininion

I loved the series! The writing was fantastic as usual, the character development was excellent, and I felt so immersed in the story. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I totally bought into Mallory. There was just something that felt off and I am not 100% certain I bought into her finally falling for Jim. Not sure all her demons were fully resolved. Regardless, a solid 5 star story/series.

Good tale and well written.

But, I’m with the non-fans of Mallory. Before reading the other comments, I was thinking “Why bother?”

Jim was better off with Addison - even if she's not around much, at least she genuinely likes him. Jim seems to get stuck with shallow women who are looking for a better 'package' rather than appreciating him for his good qualities. I see why Mallory's friends would think Jim would be good for her, but Jim doesn't seem to have any friends looking out for him. Poor Jim!

It seems that some commentators haven't actually read the second half of the story, Mllory's realisation that she was treating Jim how Michael treated her. Personally, I reckoned that she needed profesional help after the damage that Michael did to her perspective of people. Tom and Robin did their best but they were trying to stay friends, sometimes people need pros not friends.

The scene with her looking at Bobby's photograph and her awakening was a masterpiece.

As with all your stories I've read so far, it is a master piece of characterisation and plot.

And Addison was never the right woman for him, far, far, too selfish.

This is a fantastic story about the healing of two damaged people. I get why some of the comments below feel that Mallory was shallow and maybe no better than his cheating wife, but i suspect they either didn’t read the story very carefully or simply made assumptions early on. Yes she had issues about appearance, the result of deep psychological torture by her second husband, and her coming to the realization about them was as important and traumatizing as Jim’s doubts about himself after being dumped on by a cheating spouse. Addison was never going to be a serious thing and that is what he needed. Great insights into some flawed and yet fundamentally good and interesting characters, good development, nice “happy ending” and some good fun along the way. My second time through and it feels better than the first time. Thank you.

As an Irishman I enjoyed your (Shannon) use of uniquely Irish words and phrases.

Still not convinced about Mallory....

Now that was a wonderful story!!!!!

A thoughtful and interesting story. Thank you, I really enjoyed reading it.

I love the dialogue and interwoven themes that are driven by in depth characterisation.

This is at least the 2nd time that I've read it, and plan to read it again very soon. There is a lot I can learn from your story about the craft of writing.

I start creative writing in 2018. My natural tendency is to write as if I'm describing a real history -- so I have to be careful it doesn't read like a badly written academic thesis! I have to consciously add more drama and suspense, as well as more descriptive text and dialogue.

Well constructed and well told story but I doubr if I will ever read its again. I clearly missed something.

very good story. Lot of thoughts, insecurities, of course some cheating and misguided friends. Overall, just a few pages too long for me. well done though.

It feels like a cerebral romcom of O'Henry's 'Magi'.

(Similar in torch devotion, yet different with stubborn denial and past emotional baggage.)

The supporting characters are a winning Greek chorus

Nice introspection and healing. A definite win-win.

Very sweet, thoroughly enjoyed this.

I've read this story at least 5 times, trying to learn about characterisation and dialogue, of which this story has copious examples.

The only complaint I have, is that I tend to get distracted by the story itself too much!

Time cuts two was: it rewards goodness and time wounds all heels. Nice story with delightful ending.

extremely well done. I can see why some others are trying to figure out how you do it.........5 stars are not enough!

Excellent as are all your tales. Well done sir!

Two broken souls rediscovering love…Nice!

Absolutely fantastic story. We could hardly wait to turn the page to see where all the characters were going next.

This is the best I’ve read on literotica in a long while. You said in your opening comments that the sex was incidental, kinda refreshing to let the reader imagine the sex to be whatever the reader wants it to be without the usual ultra descriptive language. Just a damn good and very authentic read! Well done

Great story. Keep em coming!

Excellent story. Well written and very good character development. Thanks

Really wonderful! Coming into this final chapter I was really annoyed with Mallory. I thought I wouldn't like the way the story would end but then pretty much everything I was thinking about was addressed - she finally had some introspection about how she was treating Jim was at least in a roundabout way similar to how Michael treated her and Tom calling her out on waiting to sleep with him until he was hot enough. I'm glad that in the end they both met each other in the middle and supported each other because until this chapter it felt like 95% him meeting her (as even her helping him exercise felt selfish at first before things deepened between them). beautiful story by the end.

Mallory’s second husband sure did a number on her. I think if I had been Jim I would not have had the patience to deal with her. I really liked Robin’s character. Good series.

So often it's the trip and not the destination. I certainly enjoyed the ride. Thanks for sharing.

This series was quite good, even if the Mallory character got on my nerves quite a bit for a while.

This series came as a surprise to me. The author is a terrific talent.

Great story loved it!! I really enjoyed the dialogue with the thoughts running through their minds at the same time very much like reading the “Dune Saga”. Thanks again and now it’s on to your other stories.

Great story. The way you presented it was “real life”. This could really happen. Seeing the personal growth in Mallory and Tom was great. Loved that you slipped O’Henry in this final chapter. His stories are fantastic. Really enjoyed this series.

Great stories, built up and put together with compelling emotional involvement. Yet, the vengeful undercurrent kept alive throughout this one, to me makes it a tad 'smaller'.

And, like the KungFuTze quote i read on this site somewhere: "Before setting out on a journey of revenge, be sure to dig TWO graves."

Still, if i ever gave anyone five stars, you deserve at least six. Tx!

Excellent story arc with wonderful dialogue and great humor. Really superb.

Thoroughly enjoyed the overall story. I'd mostly lost patience with Mallory by the last chapter. I get that she was screwed up but that's a lot of baggage and as a result I didn't really get why Jim wanted to be around someone that was so intent on changing him to suit herself. That's not what relationships are about to me.

Great job though, and looking forward to exploring your other stories.

I liked it, but did struggle at times with your shifts in the narrator and the thoughts in the different font were confusing at times. For me it made it more difficult to read. I did want to give up a couple of times but was invested in the story so managed to finish it.