All Comments on 'The Cost: IOU'

The voodoo scene had me envisioning the voodoo priest from James Bond Live and Let Die. Description fit to a 'T'.

I also thought the voodoo was a tad over the top. But loved the rest of the story. 5 stars.

The voodoo episode was a nice touch.

I thought your story was very good and seemed to flow well with QHM1 story. Thank you both for your work, wish I had the same talent.

I think Leslie didn't pay enough of a price for being a cheating whore! He was too nice to her.

Nice completion to QLHMs story. Glad he has the self respect to complete the divorce!!!

Sweet story. I like that he found his forever mate and that the cheaters went away = albeit with the fear of voodoo put in his feeble mind. She will never remain faithful so she deserves what ever comes her way. You know Jill was going to find a winner as she deserves. I don't know that I would call it a tribute to a great author but it is a very appropriate follow up.

5 star story

If you hide something that big what other things will you hide.?

I don't know anyone who would trust you again without verification.

I know families broken up over trust

jtwheels

I am sure That Qhml1 Would like this Story .. It is Flattering to say the Least .

Excellent ending to the story.

At first, I couldn't figure out why you would say that you are paying tribute to these great authors. Then you write an ending to their stories as if they didn't finish them. Now don't get me wrong you are a lot more talented than I but when you compare your writing style to qhml1 and HDK you can really see the difference. That's when you realize how great a writer they both are. I usually don't like flash stories but "The Cost" is so elegant in it's simplicity. In one page the main character lays out the story from beginning to end, including his thoughts and hope for saving the marriage and how those were shattered, leaving the only alternative, divorce. Developing the characters personalities in the process. In comparison, your writing seems wordy and clumsy. You change the personalities of the characters. Kenny goes from being a calm, intelligent, controlled, and deliberate man to an out of control, brawling, screaming lunatic in public. Leslie becomes a screaming banshee. I will say this, you aren't afraid to wade in and handle the messy stuff. Thank you

But at least it wasn't a lipstick on the pig and they lived happily ever after because their trust was now renewed for some wierd psycobabble self discovery.

I thought the story would have been better if Kenny and Jill ended up together. That way Les would realize more what she had lost and would forever be envious of her sister because the perfect life she'd thrown away is now hers. It was their fate to be together that's why this betrayal happened. Jerry was the luckiest SOB, he fucked both sisters and got off lightly. Thanks for the story!

Sometimes I like a Story with a Happy ending .. Well written

really liked the story, I was shipping for Kenny and Jill since the story was heading that way but I guess Jill & Kenny was probably too predictable and would've lead further trouble down the road with Leslie. Glad Amanda was introduced.

If Amanda is that attractive,why wasn't she dating?.

Qhml1's story was very good, and your story was an excellent continuation and tribute. Kenny and Jill both found worthy partners and happiness. Leslie - who knows - maybe she grew up and decided to fix her life, maybe not. She has not live with the fact that everyday she is the one that caused the death of her marriage, and permanently harmed (almost destroyed) her relationship with her sister.

sorry but Leslie doesn't deserve to be happy again. doesn't deserve to reconcile with her father or sister. that's the ultimate family betrayal.

Well crafted story. A tad saccharine at the end, but a well deserved happy ending.

Great story on it's own,.and great tribute to the original story.. Kenny deserved a happy ending nd you have him one. Really enjoyed it.

Nothing wrong with a happy ending when it makes sense.

Reading again. This is one of my favorites for many reasons , but putting the Voo Doo on Jerry is really classic.

A truly fine story continuation in every regard. Great word-smithing.

Only major discrepancy not his step daughter his wife was her aunt

Step niece or niece in law?

Did what you set out to do. I would think Q would approve. *****

As Q's original. Also liked the Author's ending comment about flushing any nasty comments about Q. More should follow this example, hateful personal comments should all be dumped. Unless of course they're accompanied by the commenters real name and email address and/or tx. Signed: BTW.

"He knew he was one of the fortunate few that met a beautiful young woman during his divorce who ended up being his new wife. It read like a fantasy." - Maybe it was unintended, but this seems like an answer to those who complain about the ex-husbands in these stories finding a beautiful, better new wife: He was "one of the fortunate FEW...It read like a FANTASY."

This absolutely did Q's story justice!

Loved the happy ending

One of the very best stories in LW, along with the original. Love the happy ending you racked on too.

Very good story. All cannot be wine and Rose's but two people that truly love each other can come really close.

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Well stated.

"One of the Best Sequels Ever Written!

Well done! Have read the original a couple of times. Still a great short story. Your story fits seamlessly. IMHO nothing else was needed about Jerry and Leslie. Yes, it is often interesting to go down the rabbit hole and learn more about the cheaters. Usually I like that. But you have put together such a compelling story that it just wasn't necessary.

GREAT JOB!!!"

My feeling exactly!!!!!

End it was a feel good story that worked. Everyone was true to their created character which helps immensely.

You statement about criticism was satisfying as well. And you are an author I really feel like being hypercritical to at times.

Good job.

Great sequel, well written and tastefully executed.

This is one of the only follow up stories I've read that actually felt like I was reading the original. The characters felt exactly like qhml1's original characters, which is rare. Often authors change characters so much, that it feels like a completely different story. This one flowed straight out of the the original, as if qhlm1 wrote it himself directly after the first one. I hope he read it, and I hope he was proud, as you should be.

with many who rate this among the best follow up stories ever. I think the author did a great job of "completing" the story without stomping all over the original with extraneous details.

Well done! Have read the original a couple of times. Still a great short story. Your story fits seamlessly. IMHO nothing else was needed about Jerry and Leslie. Yes, it is often interesting to go down the rabbit hole and learn more about the cheaters. Usually I like that. But you have put together such a compelling story that it just wasn't necessary.

GREAT JOB!!!

An excellent job, sir. A fitting continuation of qhml1's classic.

I liked that in this case, the wounded parties (Kenny & Jill) didn’t have to do anything about revenge. Leslie’s ridiculously selfish behavior, then turning into a stalker, generated at least as much drama and humiliation as anything Kenny or Jill could orchestrate.

Even better is how the lodge handled Jerry. Sure, Burt was involved, but lodge members police themselves; they wouldn’t need much convincing.

Not having to waste any thought about how to get even, is the best revenge.

Only an ignoramus would think that the Inquisition and the Crusades were good causes with evil results. They were horrible "causes" of bigotry and , in the case of the Crusades, the conquering of peoples for economic reasons,, committing murder and theft throughout the middle east. I cannot comment on Jihad but clearly many Jihads commit wanton murder upon innocents at the urging of the initiators.

My kind of story, many thanks and 5*, I do not like BTB or RAAC. This story is good in that the offenders were lost to the paradise they had, while looking for something more. Alas, they found the "something more" turned out to be less than they had, yet those offended found peace. Justice without hatred. Love it!!! n08rkm1

Honest and just. The best point...the bad guys didn't win!!!

of a woman so important, or the man's, or marriage, or family? People get bored and ageing does all sorts of tricks on the mind; this materialistic life, white picket fence, children, family, name and reputation, beer, bar, friends, shooting pool, gang of brothers, girls, gossip, and all of these mundane, suburban, peaceful family crap is not really going to save any of us; unless you become some kind of samaritan and try to spiritual and choose a course that isn't about love, weekend sex, looking good, me, me me, me first me last, my feelings, my cars, my shoes, my friends, my prestige, my club, my retirement, my vacation, my....all these 'my(s)' spell just DOOM, nothing else. Those fortunate die knowing so, and others they die a fool, not even knowing why they sacrificed so much; they perpetrate the same cycle in children's life, too. LW is literally for losers and for those who want to know how to love getting fucked (metaphorically) worshiping false stuff and the institution that this materialistic insensitive society use to keep them slaves forever to its machinations. This is why and this is how Christianity and the Church fails the West, and keep them stupid forever, notwithstanding the material and scientific progress. Every guy dies a sad man for one reason or the other.

His wife was a cold hearted bitch. Do people like this really exist? Unfortunately, yes. Great follow up story. Well done author.*****

... my comment, which I thought was complimentary, was deleted.

Style is different, but thats ok. Very nice.

great story and well written perferct ending too

Some good lines of dialogue in this one:

"What kind of love is it that looks forward to having some piece of shit lover spew his cum all over our child?"

Lol ouch, brutal!

Avoided the cliche of taking up with the sister, and yes, the reason for the treason is immaterial

I liked the original. It was stone cold, and burned brightly until consumed. It's fun to read what someone thinks might happen afterwards. This wasn't as good in comparison but was entertaining.

I sort of expected something to follow Kenny and Jill that had something to do with them, since they spent so much damn time comforting each other. Then it was like "naw, we gonna do a u-turn" and surprise, it's Kenny and Sam-anda. I wonder how Jill felt. First she was cast aside as a wimpess by her husband, then Kenny was waved under her nose, and as she inhaled, she was voted off the show by the author. Brutal!

I love the way you brought the original story to an amazing conclusion. Great to have a happy ending after the cheaters suffer greatly.

ENJOYABLE BUT I FOUND ALTHOUGH IT WAS SUPPOSEDLY AN EXTENSION OF THE ORIGINAL DIDNT REALLY WORK FOR ME, SORRY BUT ONLY 4****.

doesn't waste any occasion to show off her whoryness.

Very nice. I thought “Q”’s story was a very strong piece on its own, but this addition was a pretty good way to give it some finality.

I have one story left of yours to read. Then I think I'll move on to qhml1. That is until you write some more.

After the Westerns Bonanza, we need a round of Biblical Parables with ritual stonings of adulterous wives to satisfy the Moral Brigade's need for revenge and retribution.

Lue

A legal system that doesn't punish a betrayer of trust... a cheater (especially the female) is a corrupted system that condones the practice of cheating.

"JUSTICE FOR ALL" my ass. With No Fault Divorce as the only option, there's no penalty for committing the crime of adultery against your partner. So where's the justice?? Too many women know they can use a Marriage license to become lottery winner.

For some poor slob who's busted his ass to support the bitch, only to have his heart crushed when he discovers that she's giving someone else squatter's rights to her pussy, even the few dollars he's earned and saved, he's forced by the corrupt 'justice' system to give her. It's an insult to justice.

It was sweet to the point of not adding any sugar to my tea and coffee for a whole day.. Haha.. Very good story and I love happy sweet endings

Great to read your story - complimented the original very well.

No - your sweet ending did not give me diabetes HAHAHAHAHA

Keep on going DFWBeast.

... It's nice, you know?

It's nice knowing that good guys can get over being emotionally crucified by worthless, cheating cunts, for NO EFFING REASON, and can move on enough to allow themselves the chance to meet the women they truly meant to be with.

It's nice to see good girls forgetting the cockroach-like, pathetic fuckstains dumb enough to not be loyal to them, so they can find the men that are meant to become the fathers of their unborn children.

It's nice to bear witness to narcissistic, untrustworthy scums-of-the-Earth, aka cheaters, getting run out of whichever town they've wrecked people's lives in, the shame of their sordid behaviors, a scarlet letter they couldn't really live with among more honest individuals who knew what sort of people they were (with some help from a bogus voodoo priest, if necessary!)

Sure, qhml1 has already pretty much said all that needed to be said about this story. But... it's always nice to read about the good guys eventually winning, and the bad guys ultimately losing. It's basic human nature, I guess.

Good job, Beastie. Thanks for the read.

With so many incomplete, unfinished, "hanging" stories on literotica I am a devout believer in continuities in the great tradition of the master, FTDS. Having tried repeatedly to attempt some myself (never doing well enough to submit one,) I have developed a great sensitivity and admiration for a "continuity well done." In that context this was very well done. Characters fit, their behavior fit, their integrity fit, and the story remained true.

Well done. Thank you.

he got his porch, a beautiful loving wife, kids, and even an extra daughter to spoil. A man can live happily with far less.

I didn't see the aunt coming until it was past obvious. I was sure he would end up with Jill.

The flow from the original story into this could not be any smoother.

I'm not against reconciliation per se, but there are situation that are beyond it. This was one of them. There was no way to repare de the damage that Leslie had done to her relationship. He was right, she'll probably cheat again. I truly enjoyed this sequel.

Read it again. Great sequel to the original. Cheaters don't think about the consequences when they commit adultery. This fine tale shows what could happen when you cheat on your spouse.

Don't cheat

Excellent ending to a disturbing tale.

You probably are one of the premier authoes on here. When you post I read. And cry but you are fantastic. Thank you.

"Jerry had said the same thing as Leslie, that he never thought Jill would leave him." - So, the thought that your spouse won't leave you is a reason to cheat?

"You hypocritical bastard!" - Even if he WAS dating Samantha (obviously not!), it wouldn't make him a hypocrite because they are divorcing, so it wouldn't be cheating.

"He knew he'd been cruel" - As the saying goes, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

@Anonymous 03/19/17 Re: "Oh my gosh" - So Kenny didn't recognize her immaturity and selfishness; you ever hear of being blinded by love?

Real. Honest. I doubt that the ex would be as bereaved as you suggest -- to be so would suggest genuine sensitivity and an emphatic nature, instead of the cruelty she exhibited by the affair -- after all, even if it is unknown, isn't an affair unkind -- the tree falling in the forest. Good job.

Well-written,true to the original characters as a follow-up story,and an enjoyable read.

Highly recommended,I saw it as a 5+!

Without getting into the excessive verbiage, it still told a believable story. I don't believe any rational man could have expected any kind of reconciliation. The connection was irretrievably broken. Five stars.

and I wish I could give you another 5 but I can't. So well done and sometimes endings are sweet. Even in real life. So, please continue to write and share your great talent with us, and if some really don't like what you do, you can just share them with me. So there annonys.

Great work.

I never read the first story, so I went back, read it and enjoyed it. I was curious to see the direction you took the story and after reading your ending thought that you did pay tribute to the original author and his story.

After the big bust up calm eventually came over the family. Kenny appears to come of very well finding true love again.

Enjoyed the story very much gave it five stars both for content and quality of writing.

A nice serviceable story. Better than most but not nearly as good as your best stuff.

Yes, all's well. I was half expecting his marriage would be one of those twists where he was with the daughter, not Amanda, or he'd gotten together with the sister. It was odd how the sister was built up as such a great person, then he didn't go there. The "too much baggage" rationale wouldn't have stopped him if she was that great. I imagine his ex wife would have blown a gasket, but that would have been worth it.

I love the sweet ending! It was about time that something goes right and wonderful for the injured and cuckolded Kenny!

A little warm happy outcome once in a while will not keep me tossing and turning at night. You are quite a master at "tribute" conclusions. Helpful for some one trudging through late in life time who needs to have things spelled out. I enjoyed the original story but of course wondered how it all worked out and you gave me a clear hand.

that stuck to the original feel. Great to read one of your tales

Loved the happy ending. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

First, I commend your follow up of qhml1's story. You are both excellent authors and I can't imagine the difficulty in finishing another authors story without changing it beyond recognition. So thanks.

What I wanted to comment on was your 'housekeeping' of the comments. I agree that criticism of qhml1 would be highly inappropriate. I wish you, and other authors, would extend your broom to personal attacks on your own person. They add nothing to anyone's understanding or enjoyment of the story. I have altered my rating a few times based on cogent comments both + and -. I get nothing from a diatribe.

Anyway,thanks for your time, effort and talent. JPR

I enjoyed this story, the cheaters got burned and the cheated on found happiness, nice to think that could happen in real life⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The belief factor did fly out the window quite quickly. Except, truth is always stranger than fiction, there, now it becomes believable. *****

Thanks for sharing your hard work on Lit.

x

I enjoyed it but I felt sorry for the sister in-law, I further enjoyed the explanation offered in the post epilogue. Most authors are not as forthcoming in their rationale for swinging a story one way or the other. I rated it five stars for guts and talent.

I have read all your stories and this is a continuation of your excellent penmanship! You are a very good writer and you know how to finish a story just like FTDS, may he rest in peace. I can think of quite a few good stories in here that could use your talent. Maybe.....Hmmmmmmmm............

I thouht you did a great job with the continuence. Looking forward to any future posts....legend

Impressive tribute story or I would call it a follow up - now completed story. Q's story is good but I have always wanted more to the tale. I am happy to have gotten it! Very well done I believe you channeled Q's characters and story very well! Thank you for the tribute and putting the story complete!

And as a tribute to another writer who said first and I paraphrase(sorry I don't recall and haven't found again) - please keep writing and I will keep reading!

By people who know how to write!!! Damn that was good reading. Thanks for sharing!!!

Really enjoyed your take on this storyline . As always , when I see your name attached , I know that I'll be entertained .

5*s

I wish there were more stories like this instead of the constant barrage of cuckolds we seem to get every day. QHMl1 is an excellent writer and has posted many entertaining stories. You did a very good job of extending his story. Thanks for the effort. I hope that you will continue to post.

Good story. Thanks for posting. Four out of five.

It was a very respectable sequel to QHML1s' original.

The only thing that didn't work for me was Kenny screaming. I think the power in the original was Kenny's quiet calm, and yet deeply emotional reaction.

Cheers

Steve

Of course there were no surprises or erotic moments but I enjoyed him worrying his pain like a lion. After the scene in Amanda's cafe Leslie gave up.

Congratulations. I honestly felt like I was continuing with qhml1's story telling. Not easy mimicking another author's style, word choice, dialogue, etc. The original still stands on its own because it paints the scene I believe qhml1 wanted to, but you've given it an extended epilogue with closure for most of the characters. Personally, I think the voodoo witch doctor was too much but I felt like the restaurant scene with Leslie was necessary to finally get to see the truth.

Nothing at all wrong with a happy ending - he deserved it. I thought the shouting and arguing with Leslie in the cafe was a bit incongruous, a little out-of-character for Ken, but the "battleground" was her choice and she did have him more or less cornered. I also think you stayed true to Q's original story. Well done. So happy to see you're still writing. Thanks again.

Also, kudos to blackrandl1958 for bringing this to fruition. What a fantastic idea!

As always, your storytelling is top of the line. You have the ability to pull me in and immerse me in the plot and characters. This was my third time reading, but the first time I could just concentrate on the beauty of the weave. I cried the first time I read it. Sam, of course. I cried again this time. You know why. Thank you, and someone has asked for a new Brownwood story. Well? Many hugs, for this story, and... well, you know. Randi.

A fine piece of entertainment. An amazing tribute. The ending wasn't too sweet. It fits perfectly with the qhml1 story style of the past 2 or 3 years.

Gave you 4*s DFWBeast.

How about a piece out of Brownwood next time TexasMonsterman ❓lol😄.

Thank you for the story.

AMerryman

You are a legend.

A cute quaint romance putting closure on The Cost. That was nice.

No a Leopard cannot change its spots. But Leslie is not a Leopard, she simply behaved like one. And while her behavior is entirely her fault, Kenny was blind not to see her spots before he married her. Leslie was immature and willful and spoiled and selfish and thoughtless of other people, and very stupid. How could Kenny have not seen these flaws while dating her, getting to know her, watching and studying her? So Kenny got what he married. I suspect failure to properly scrutinize and evaluate a potential spouse is the root cause for most marriage failures, especially early marriage failures. But that's another story.

Thanks for your contribution to the celebration. It was a fun read.

It flowed smoothly from the ending of the qhml1 source. And placed a cap on the unanswered issues.

thanks

Usually, I don't like follow-up stories, but you certainly honored qmh11's original story which I thought was very good story. I don't believe anyone has commented on the fact that qhm11 dedicated his story in honor of Ohio's Scenes from a Marriage.

Boyd Percy