All Comments on 'The Cost: IOU'

Not a comment on the story per se, more a remark regarding tha author's note: It says there another two pages were required to build any kind of reasonable justification for Leslie's and Jerry's affair.

IMO that's impossible to achieve without absolutely negating the meaning, purpose and legal status of marriage. The author might succeed in delivering an in depth description and explanation of the affair's history.

But realistically there can be no reasonable justification for an affair such as this, since there's nothing that could somehow be made right by having it.

A quality add on to a tale by my favorite writer! Thank you - 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

First-class tribute story it needed an ending and yours was superb 5*****

Just what this story needed. Thanks.

Wow, PMSing much JPB? Someone pissed in your cornflakes, huh?

It's not that hard to use a search function.

Great story, and faithful to the original beginning. Thanks Beast!

Good story. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One of the biggest sins of an author who continues so.ebody else's story is to just tell us to go and find it first. Caring authors include a live link to the story, or at the very least a synopsis of the original story. As for me? I refuse to do your work for you. I would award one star, but I won't because i didn't read your tale, and I won't read your tale. Go pound sand.

JPB

Awesome! Dfw you did well taking qhml1’s story a bit further. Not sure why it took me so long to find this story. Qhml1 is one of my favorite authors here and I enjoyed this homage to his writings. Now to read the rest of your stuff. Thanks for sharing your work.

Just_john1

What a horrible person that Leslie bitch turned out to be. That line about getting preggers and then jumping back in the saddle, yeah at that point it was simply unforgivable, no way back after that. What a stupid bitch to throw it all away for mediocre sex with an asshat, and to do that to her sister after all she has done for her. She got off too easy. She deserves nothing but a cold, lonely life devoid of any joy.

This conclusion (or type of) is what was missing from the original. I still would of liked a BTB ending for Les since it was a horrific affair. GOOD JOB!

Great sequel to an equally great original. Yes I felt you kept the characterisation as per the original. I've always felt that QHML1 is one of the very best on here. This matched Q's work in quality. I can't give higher praise than that. BardnotBard

Good finish to the original story. Good BTB on Leslie. She deserved her comeuppance. 5 stars

Since your account has been unchanged in both places since '20 I'm hoping the 'rona didn't get you and that you're just busy doing other things.

- On the chance that you do see this let me just say that this was great storytelling. I've read this story a few times and still particularly enjoy Burt's telling of Jerry's encounter with the "voodoo priest". That was outstanding.

- Hoping that you're ok and will get the itch to write again and come back to us. Best wishes

☆☆☆☆☆

RAACs. RAACs. We want RAACs. And as to Leslie, I heard that Ted Bundy was released on a technicality, they got married, and were last seen on their honeymoon.

Very good continuation. Writing, extreme. I like the original & this continues supremely well. Many continuations that I've read don't, & warp out on their own. Sometimes even changing names from the original! Thankfully, yours didn't. However improbable, I was hoping that Kenny'd date, maybe marry Jen's sister. That would be a hoot!

.. Thank you. A 5 on the rating meter. Bob

As it should be. Well done.

Very , very good sequel. I have nothing to say, or add. You hit the nail on the head, 100%.

Thank you-

@meh anonymous if you liked the original so

inalterably, why’d you bothet to read this very good sequel and then trash it. Just move on and shut yer yap asshat.

Perfect continuation. I always hoped they would find happiness.

Excellent sequel to "The Cost." I enjoyed the original as much as I enjoyed this one.

I did not think it possible to write a sequel to qhml1's original story but this is a very good attempt. DFWBeast did an excellent job with it. He does stick pretty close to his bio description of his story preferences too. I appreciate the fact that he tries to portray the real complexities of couples and marriages. It would be interesting to see how he would develope the ex-wife's character in struggling to overcome her amazingly callow sense of relationships. Not likely after six years, but still one could hope. Or his take on February Sucks. What makes Literotica.com so great is that the good authors indulge in exercising the moral imagination, and how the characters engage in moral reason dealing with terrible things that happen. And the sad truth is that some marital partners actually do these terrible things and often leave their ex-spouses always wondering. It happened to a very close female friend of my wife and I some years ago, and her spouse's infidelity was truly epic (yes, a sister). I knew him well and never understood why he did it, since it was a seemingly casual affair. They had two children who suffered greatly in the ensuing divorce, and us as the godparents too. We look back decades later and still don't understand their motives. So, commenters should not mock the seemingly saccharine ending, considering that the memories that sustain are those of companionship, couples friends, children, god-children, and grandchildren. My wife and I look back from our 70s and love them all. Call me a maudlin old man, but its true.

I abandoned it on page one. I resent you telling me to go and find the original. A link I could follow would have sent me to the story,, and I would have done so. But this? Not worth my time. Not even a synopsis. Disrespectful to your readers. No rating.

JPB

Yeah, the ending was a little too sweet but the scene in room 69 with the fake Voodoo priest had me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair.

Please write some more

When it comes to infidelity, the "why" never matters. It's caused by arrogance, a sense of entitlement, or a lack of meaningful communication. I'm happy the story had a satisfactory ending. Kenny deserved it... so did Jill and Amanda.

Thank you for continuing the story, loved it!

Life goes on?! Life goes on?!

Meh. This continuation changes the character of the original story and has all the common and overused themes and devices found in other loving wives stories to show the successful rebound of the MC. Nothing of real value has been added, in fact, the strength of the original story is diminished. Leslie's character has morphed into an obsessed super-bitch in denial, which isn't how she was written in The Cost, and it negates the impact of the MC's revenge in that story. Leslie was devastated when she realized her cheating was going to cost her the future she and Kenny had planned. There would be no more marriage, no children, no house, no grandchildren, no future happiness together, no further love from him. It was a very powerful speech Kenny made to his guilty wife as she returned home from her weekly tryst and I think a good ending. I prefer to imagine that he moved on after the divorce and rebuilt his life and that Leslie had to live every day with the sorrow and guilt for having so carelessly destroyed their marriage and that being married to Kenny was probably the best thing that was ever going to happen in her life. She understood that she threw it all away for the cheap thrill of cheating and Kenny let her know in no uncertain terms she would no longer have a chance at that future, not with him and probably not with anybody else. There is no need to restate the elements of the prior story to create a storybook ending and make Leslie into a desperate, delusional menace. Leave Kenny's and Leslie's future to the reader's imagination as intended.

Nice job continuing the story.

Turned Q1’s story into a typical cheating wife formula story. Not sure there really was a point to it? 3*

Yeah I think you did a good job of this,

Great tribute!

Thank you for finishing Q's story off, and well done at that. I gave you 5 stars for this, which is 1 star better than I rated the original. I just couldn't give the original better than a 4 because he left it so open-ended. You went ahead and wrote a fitting end to the story and did it well.

You've been gone for 3 years now. Guess you've moved on. Thanks for your time here. Most of us miss your stories.. but life moves on. Thks

Awesome

I loved it and gave both yours and Q's stories 5 stars. I felt your story gave Q's a proper ending and tied things up nicely.

That's one of the things I don't really like about a flash story...it leaves the reader wanting more, like a part 2. Well that, and most lack any real detail. Q did an excellent job on the first part, and it could stand alone as it was written. But you adding the 2nd part really finished it off nicely, and gave the reader closure. Thank you for sharing it Beast. You did Q proud.

Finally, a Writer who finished a story Sorry there are not 10 stars you would have gotten them all. 99% of he time I know everything about a story after reading the p to the3rd Paragraph You Got Me lol

Great story. loved it. 5 stars, the Bear approves wholeheartedly. I like a good BTB, and having the twist with the Aunt not there when he walked in was good. Thanks.

The BEAR

The “ Beast” nailed it. 5 stars!

It's always a good thing when a good story gets a good ending, and even more so if the ending isn't necessarily from the original author.

This one is a great example... qhml1 wrote a quick - but very good - story, and DFWBeast wrote a heartfelt and satisfying ending that carried the original feelings of the first part.

Well done, sir... with a "5" of course.

Amazing, love both stories. 5 stars

I liked this continuation/tribute piece a great deal!

Thank you!

Some commenters wondered why people wanted there to be more to the original story. The fact it - some level of hope, some level of joy and optimism at the end is an inherent thirst for most. The catharsis of the confrontation is one thing, but leaving everything in the moment of pain, in the downward slope without the rising action, without whatever version of happy ending is possible - that lack is what drives people to want more. This ending was well written, and makes the original that much better.

Loved both stories, my favourite type of ending, wounded parties are happy.

You did a great tribute to a very worthy man.

Second read of both stories. Loved the outburst in the diner... Every victim should have a therapeutic smasher on the cheating spouse. The story resonated with the strength Kenny displayed. Thanks for the addendum.

You, sir, gave me something i needed so bad. Great sequel. Get qhml1 to link this on his story. I only cane across this because of my extremely excessive list of stories I've read here

I think it is simple enough why you would flush any derogatory comments about qhml1's work. You are not qhml1 and any bad comment about his work should be directed to him and not to you. With that said I think both works, yours and his, are great. I like yours because it was like a continuation of the qhml1's story. I could not stop laughing when it came to Jerry confrontation at the lodge meeting. And it was very realistic too as any lodge brother can tell you. Hell even the mob know not to mess with any lodge chapters. Thank You!

1. He should have told his SIL. His excuse was pretty wimpy. Of course, it will be hard! Men do hard things. Step up. Do what's right.

2. Sam is not his stepdaughter. He is married to Sam's aunt.

3. Burt gets props. Hard to love both daughters and do it right.

Knoxhard

Beautiful closing to a beautiful story. Great stuff. Thank you for your beautiful and wonderful story. Definitely a five star 🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟💫🌟

The original was pretty pathetic really this was a definite improvement sure it's prosaic and derivative trash but it's well written prosaic and derivative trash😂😂😂

What an absolute charming continuation of the original story! Don’t listen to commenters like “ dry opium addict” this was a masterpiece. I gave you 5 stars, wished it coulda been more...

thank you!

Generic and predictable. Didn't like it.

Well-done sequel!

This author is really good with continuations.

"Besides, I knew you'd find out soon; too many others knew about it to keep it hidden for long." - If he knew she'd find out anyway, why not tell her as gently as possible, rather than risk her finding out through gossip or catching them in bed or something.

\

They never thought their spouses would ever leave them. THAT'S their reason for cheating?

\

However she might try to twist things to justify cheating on her husband, there's NO WAY she can justify cheating on her sister.

Great writing on both the original and the sequel. The sequel segued perfectly with the original. I guess because she was older, Jill had to give birth quickly to two sons after finding an older hubby.

Excellent story continuation. Well done!

Personally I thought your ending was a perfect fit for QHML1's story. Nice way to FTDS too (my only real complaint about the original story). I liked how you kept it a flash story, but added just enough detail to keep the reader involved. Very well done.

I gave it 5 stars.

Excellent story continuance, very consistent with the theme and temperament of the original. Good and plausible outcome too. I often wonder if negative commentators like xhristian (what is THAT name anyway?) below even read the stories theycomment on, or they’re just angry, bitter underachievers who approach every story with their own life disappointments and then have to bore the rest of us with their venom. Hey x, in case your attention span was too short to actually read IOU, the mc does “confront” his former brother-in-law.? Duh ? Hospital. Double duh !

A really good effort. Similar writing style and a good (almost expected) continuation of the original. So glad you left out all the unnecessary drivel thst takes up 10 pages. This was just right.

Looking forward to more.

Good continuation. Based on the original there was not way to have a rational basis for Leslie's affair other than mental illness. So not worth exploring. The original author set it up as a truly devastating ongoing affair. So yeah this was well written.

very good. perhaps the Diner scene is the best part. sort of thought Jill and Kenny would end up together

I enjoyed it, and thought it was good. I gave it 5 stars. I'm glad he found Amanda, so he could move on. I thought he was going to hook up with Jill, but it didn't happen.

A pleasant story, but I'm very surprised at it being labeled as "BTB". There was no negative outcome to the cheating wife, aside from getting yelled at once and getting the divorce. Not like he got some favorable divorce terms, and she even got to keep relationship with her father.

Well done. It sounds like if it had not been Jerry, there would have been someone else. To destroy two marriages for the fun of it is saddistic, and how she thought Kenny would buy in to her cheating, especially with his brother-in-law, is mind-blowing. Nice touch, giving us the possibility of Kenny and Jill getting together, then introducing Amanda to the story, was kind of warm and fuzzy.I liked it. Good editing. Keep writing.

XYZ

Great futher story.

To be honest it was trite, predictable and boring in fact everything about it was about as exciting as a an old rerun of Touched by an Angel.

I think if your continue someone else's story at least think of something more interesting than a Cafe confrontation in front of a teenager where the protagonist gets to pretend that he's a Man.

The fact this pussy never confronted the brother in law or his wife's sister with the truth was for me the height of cowardice but hey typical cuckold behaviour.

I think both you did excellent jobs on this story

Really enjoyed it and can’t picture any “normal person “ criticizing either of you

Very good, 5-Stars! .

Fully agree with "Zoomdoggie"

Understand where "Frank66" is coming from, -Kenny & Jill were the obvious pairing but, perhaps TOO obvious?

I think this works better, and is far less predictable!.. So, well done!

Thank you!

might be the one of the top ten worst stories ive read on this site

Good followup to the original (and I really liked the original). Nice way of putting a happy ending where it wasn’t needed, but put a smile on anyway. Thank you.

Ok,it rates a 5, but as others said, it should have been Kenny and Jill getting together. She was such a 'wonderful person', caring and giving, he thought she was beautiful; and yet- there was 'too much baggage'? Screw the baggage, it's very hard to find someone so nice. Stick with them as long as you can. And yes, he should have told her about the cheating as soon as he knew. 'She didn't need the hurt', yes, well, she didn't need the deception, either.

Even better than the original.

Super ending- Wish other sequels were as good!

Awesome! Although I felt the original story needed no continuance, I thought you did justice to qhml1’s work. Well done!

I'm a sucker for happy ending. Also, for cheaters to get some punishment.... Really like the Voodoo angle. Also. Burt's pick up on Jerry's superstitions. Finally, Leslie's cheating was classic, Screw over a sister who did so much for her means psychological problems that aren't correctable...most of the time. someday I wish a writer in this tag category would delve deeply the root of this behavior. BTRH

As the saying goes karma is a bitch.... Definitely a 5 star 🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟🌠🌟

The original was one of the best( and certainly the best short story) stories I’ve read on this site. Absolutely no need for a follow up. Happily ever after for him, righteous end for wife and Brother-in-law Enough sugar to make molasses.

Loved it. Shows great compassion.

A little syrupy but somehow appropriate.

Bill S.

so he robbed the craddle ?

A great ending to a good story

Scores 5/5

Well done sir, well done

Nicely done ending to the original

Okay Another he moved on after the cheating slut got caught and guttered. I have to admit to wishing it was Jill he ended up with after divorce. More pain for her having to see sister get the best of the deal. And all the family occasions!

You can’t do wrong by tying one of your ideas onto the back of one of Qs stories. If I haven’t read all of his stuff, I haven’t missed it by much. Maybe I’ll get thru your stuff soon. Keep up the good work.

After the 'February Sucks' crap I am loath to read let alone comment on any story that alters an original (especially by one of my favorites) but Q is certainly a legend and you had his permission. This was a very good story and follows the original well. A couple people commented that the tenor of the story changed - it had to. The original was a slice of an hour in time where this took place over a much longer period of time after temperatures came to the boiling point! Thank you for your story and to Randi for all she does for all of us.

somewhere east of Omaha

Great followup.

This was a really nice add on to the original. It reminded me of a comment my departed dad once made to me. “ I don’t want you to struggle in life, but it shouldn’t be too easy, either” . What he was saying, is we don’t value things, that come our way, too cheaply, or with no effort on our part.

I believe the wife in this story, had a life that was too easy. She didn’t value it, or her husband. It was easy for her to risk it, because she didn’t have to work hard to get where she was in life. Some people would call it Narcissism. Good looking women, constantly have their egos inflated by men. The smart ones, realize that actions speak louder than words, and would not risk what they had, for a cheap, ego boost. As a famous 20th century food service baron once said” You reap, what you sow” 5 stars.

Story wasn't bad. It just wasn't necessary. Found it didnt hold my interest. Many stories cry out for resolution. Q's original didnt.

Great

The original piece was understated. This was not. The mood it evoked was very different.

Voodoo is ppopularly associated with Haiti, rather than Jamaica

Excellent

Tremendous sequel to a wonderful tale. Warms my cold heart.

Nailed it! The flow and style of your tribute matched as if "Q" had written it himself. Even without the missing 10,000 words (LOL), it felt real and likely has played out a hundred times across multiple time zones somewhere... 5*

twas pretty tight. 5/5

Loved it, DFWB! Great story and a fitting tribute to Q's story!

"It was a game to them." - In a way that makes it all that much worse; that they would put two marriages at risk, including her sisters, for something that was little more than a game.

/

"Never in her darkest nightmares had she ever considered Kenny would air out their problems in public." - Heh, she's the one that confronted him in public.

The voodoo scene had me envisioning the voodoo priest from James Bond Live and Let Die. Description fit to a 'T'.

I also thought the voodoo was a tad over the top. But loved the rest of the story. 5 stars.

The voodoo episode was a nice touch.