All Comments on 'The Cost of True Love'

your story really got me going...the scheming, the wrongness of it all...I think I am going to have to go find something to fuck and fast, thank you! ~ ;*

Loved it, it's good that she became pregnant, wish more stories would turn out this good.

When this story debuted on another site (which will go unnamed), there were a lot of editorial critiques I wanted to share but didn't due to some recent restlessness there. Here, however, I feel that it is safe to say what's been on my mind about this tale:

For the most part, I liked it a lot. Very, very well executed in terms of storytelling. The characters were fairly interesting and well-rounded and the story itself kept my attention.

The biggest problems I saw were the minor spelling errors, missing punctuation marks (commas, mostly) and more importantly the "breaking" of the narrative (1st-person, 2nd-person, 3rd-person... got a little bit of it all in there). When writing a story, it's good form to keep the "voice" consistent and for the bits that the narrator didn't actually witness it's good to have them explain that details were recounted to them by other participants in the story. The delivery of some quotes, too, threw me a bit.

Overall, this was a damn fine story. The technical aspects of it, however, detracted from the flow- which is just as important as every other aspect of the story.

I hope we see more of your work here, Jill!

What an extremely good story! Had a great twist which was let out of the bag by her visit to the bank.But in the end true happiness!

Thanks for writing!

Sexmate

Good build up.....good steam and seduction.

Congratulations== very well written story with a creative ending that is atypical on Literotica. Great description of hot sexual action, but I hope people realize that it is only on Literotica that lovers allow their sexual passion to be taped. Other than Paris Hilton, the rest of the world would destroy the camera of anyone they saw taping their sex even if it wasn't incestuous. the Ct Yankee

excellent story !! luved all the plot twists, and the HOT sex scenes .. yummm

I have read alot of hot stories on this web site but this has become one of my favorites.

Please write more and simliar stories. I loved your story.

Thank you

Here's hoping there will be more stories as good as this.

This was a really hot and steamy story.......hope you will wtite more of these.......mrcomfy

it started good but you ruined it when cathy stole the money and blackmailed him without telling us why you totally destroyed this story it could have been so good had the three of them stayed together it was also a real turn off that he asked his sister to screw the banker what a loser i want my time back

Unlike some others, I thought it got a lot more exciting when you added the underhandedness of the girlfriend. That was a good vehicle to get her out of the picture and make it into a real sibling romance. I loved it and hope to see more of your work. Thanks for sharing your story.

he just proved he had no love for either of them. if he loved his girlfreind he wouldn't have screwed his sister. if he loved his sister he sure wouldn't ask her to be a slut for the banker. all in all no love he was just using both and got used by the girlfreind. total waste of time.

I really enjoyed this story. Very, very erotic. Thank you for writing and I hope to read more.

Chris

Very well crafted story, well written and intensely erotic! I love the ending! Thank you, Jill!