by wyvernwand
Ben Franklin said that "Women over 40 were the best lovers" and he gave 4 reasons... CajunBill
Thank you for your constructive (not) comments. Great encouragement for budding writers to be sure. Why not enter into the spirit of this site and write something yourself - or are you afraid of criticism?
It was a good story but I knew immediately you were not from the American west.
The flavor of the story would be enhanced by using American cowboy terminology. Weight should be in pounds, fuel is generally called gas, and a female parent is Mom.
Dave
Nice story and unlike the anonymous comment you only need to change the weight. Growing up in house with my mothers side of the family being from the UK the word Mum was used, and is still used. The same goes for petrol, though I must admit I have converted to gas, my sister at 65 has not. The only other thing, and of course since the character's must be over 18, truth is sex on the farm usually started at about 15 for boys and 14 for girls.
Other than that it is an excellent effort
there were a few words that the English use. We call our fuel gas and we use
pounds for our size. over all not a bad tale. at her age she could get prego.
There are lots of other 'avenues' you could have used, especially at the key point of her suggesting to unzip.