All Comments on 'The Coxswain'

Begs for a sequel

Definitely looking forward to the next chapter, when they start to really get to know each other.

Really like the story--and the depth of the story's context. And the writer's technique of narrating the story with the voice of an experienced athlete, talking to you. So the narrator doesn't explain whatvthe significance of the 5th seat is, or what it means to make the A boat, or even what it means to row in a "Div 2" school.

That's a writing challenge: to carry the story along without explaining everything, yet not leave readers bewildered by terms and situations that they don't understand.

I'm loving this, and can't wait for the next installment. One quibble? You misspelled "gunwale."

Tiresome

Spent over one third of the story on the ridiculous detail of high end rowing. Didn't explain a thing and I finally had to just skim the technicalities in order to see if there was going to be an actual story. Turns out that there really wasn't much of one, but at least I didn't waste a lot of time. Not sure why I was so generous, but I did give it a 2*.

@overcritical: Your username is apropos. Dante obviously knows the sport, which gives his story tons of authenticity. Skimming over facts or getting facts wrong is sophomoric and detracts. This first chapter is more like a prologue for the backdrop of the story.

Dante, this is really good for your first submission. Looking forward to reading future installments.

Wordcraft

Had the 'technical stuff' been about shooting, I might have understood it better; I'm not a rower /oarsman (an 'erg' ? - unit of energy ?). Some comments by way of explanation would have certainly helped.

But the rest wasn't bad, though

Thanks for all your feedback!

I definitely was concerned about how to explain without info-dumping on the rowing. I'll see about being more colloquial and getting the ratio of explanation to action better :)

I would love to read the subsequent episodes. It reminds me of days gone by when I was a wee one.