All Comments on 'The Curse of the Scots Ch. 06'

I know that it's the author that decides how and where to take the story but omg please let this one have a happy ending!!

Hear hear!

I seccond the motion for the happy ending with a rollicking threesome.

Awesome story by the way. First series I've actually followed.

Please let there be no more sadness in the lives of the three females in Cayden's life and the story has a happy ending for the four.

an attack on the hard work of the author. I always look for comments on my stories that explain why the reader liked or disliked my story. I do not take the criticism personally. This is a very interesting story. That is established. It could easily be even better. I will give an example from page two:

I backed away; no mercy hugs for me, "That's OK.I hadn't planned on going anyway."

No! She couldn't allow that. He had to be there, date or not, she knew he had to be there, "No Cayden you have to attend."

The problem with the above is that you are using first person, but showing us what the other person is thinking. In first person, you can only know that the speaker is thinking, not those around him. You can have them say what they are thinking, or the main character can guess what they are thinking, but you cannot know what others are thinking and reveal it to the readers. That's the joy and pain of writing in first person. Otherwise, it causes confusion and hurts the flow of the story. Pedantic may well describe me, along with a few even less agreeable terms, but it's a valid point.

Your a good writer and it is your story after all, but Cayden is getting on my nerves with his inability to utter a coherent thought when he needs to. This last scene at the diner is ridiculously overdone just to build some suspense in the story. First he gets some cojones and stands up to and for both women, then he reverts to the bumbling idiot he always seems to be. Is your character schizophrenic underneath the placid rich farmer exterior that everyone else sees?

Love the story and I do hope it has a happy ending for all concerned. This chapter reminds me of the 70s Kenny Rogers song "Coward of the County." Its sad that chapter 7 is to be the last chapter. Perhaps someday a part two will emerge. Ah, that's a hint by the way.

5 stars

Want more...and fast! This story has a way of catching the reader off-guard. Would also recommend this be posted as a shortstory on a non-erotic literary site.

Well, some unexpected (or less likely) happenings, and a set-up for some personal growth AND a happy ending (or not!)

Can't wait for the denouement!

4.9 - safe 5*

...but unfortunately, on the 6th page Cayden once again steps back to his bad ways of communication - and again brings the story to a halt.

After having rekindled his love to Angie and their daughter and after being accepted back to his own family, it seems cruel and unfeeling to send Caprice/Lauren out alone on a very difficult errand with unpredictable outcome. All the time he had pampered and kind of patronised her, but when she really needs his support, he forces her away and leaves her alone. Just handing her a car and a credit card gives her the signal: "leave, your place is with your parents, not with Angie & me". It could not be handled any worse and I think she will understand the message this way.

Why are most stories in this category about persons who fail in simple communication?

Anxiously waiting for the last chapter to come soon.

5*

HDK: I didn't say you were attacking the story. I said you were sniping at it. Let's reflect: In 1936 Jean Harlow died at 26 while filming a movie with Clark Gable. The studio finished the movie by using 'stand ins' for Harlow. Hundreds of thousands of movie goers went to see the movie, not for the movie, but to see if they could pick out the scenes where they used stand ins. Many people read our story comments before actually going to the story. So here we have dozens, perhaps hundreds of readers hunting for typos and errors in grammar instead of just enjoying something. Sorry, my oldest daughter usually edits my stuff, but she's in a snit right now and won't help out.

Then there's another thing; there are maybe five or six LW writers who garner enormous respect, HDK is among them. Often, and I mean often, if HDK, JPB, Rehnquist, Francis MacComber, DQS, Stang, KK, Ohio, and a few others pan a story I won't bother to read it. Now I know I missed five or six other really good story tellers, that's insensitive, and I'm sorry.

Then again, no one's perfect. I've done some editing for named writers; you should see some of the tripe they pass along, and even then, after repeated edits there's mistakes.

Last, though businesses are making it harder, my impression has been a great many people read some of this stuff while at work, maybe on break, maybe at lunch, maybe surreptitiously. I mean these are just little stories aimed at making life a little easier; maybe just a little escape from the tedium. carvohi

While this a great written story and it definitely sucks you in I'm getting tired of being depressed after each new chapter. I mean this was basically a feel good chapter until the ending where the author decided to sit down and make me miserable. Why on earth does it have to be this heart breaking? It's like the author is going out of his way to make his readers depressed. Well written but hard to give a five to something so depressing! 3*

I have spent way too much time on this! If you pull a "Game of Thrones" and kill off any or especially all of the major characters, I will make it my life's work to ...

Just kidding. I am really enjoying this story. Looking forward to closure though!

Great work

This is one of the best stories on this site.

I really enjoyed this latest installment and eagerly anticipate what comes next. Having been torn between what I selfishly wanted and what I knew was right I doubt I could have handled things any better. I guess if you love something you need to set it free and just hope it comes back. We’ll see…

Great plot development. 5+

Is Ano Nymous a Greek name? You sure get a lot of shit from that guy! You're the writer. Do your thing and flip the naysayers off. Good reading. Enjoy the entire story very much Cheers!

between Cayden and Caprice after the big dance is certainly very explicit. It is also the most tender, loving, beautiful and caring description of love making that I recall ever reading in Literotica. This is a wonderful story....SPLENDID!

I really hope it has a happy ending. Adding the pimp back in was expected but still leaves me anxious over the out come. Keep writing.

Cayden, Angie, and Laura have all been placed in positions where they have to tune into the world and leave their private shells and give up their stability, in order to live. Great Writing.

Not really thrilled with the way he's treating Angie and her mother. That hyper-dominant aggressive shit in someone else's home is a complete throwback to the kind of asshole he was when he fucked up Angie's life the first time. That she completely heart and soul trusts him again solely after his repeated brutal betrayals of her solely because he financially supported her and her daughter seems very weak, particularly since he's giving her no reason to believe she's changed. It's obvious that this is intended threesomeville, but that angle's so unstable it could really use some work or more appropriately end up with Caprice/Cayden and Angie as independent, but still part of the extended family. Regressing her to the same stupid behavior he had her up to in high school just so he gets double the nookie is a depressing thought. The characters are too realistic for that kind of fantasy suspension to feel right.

On a side note, combining ass-licking with an incontinent woman who has to wear Depends is fucking gross. I still can't block the memory of that out, and the only thing stopping me from scoring you down for THAT fiasco is because I'm enjoying the story.

Guess I was right. I have to remind myself that poly amorous endings are your m.o. While you can have your character claiming to be a Christian, I think the conservative claim is a bit ridiculous. Not quite sure I get that. Doesn't understand his Calvin as well as he thinks.

If I remember one more chapter to tie it all together. I have enjoyed the ride, and hope the finale lives up to all the wonderful writing that led us here.

Vince is coming back, and the conflict should be scintillating. I am not sure who will be with who when all is said and done. But for some reason, I wonder about Emily, and Caprice looking similar and if that will play out uniquely.

I was slightly disappointed with Cayden. I felt you weakened him too much, until this chapter. Whew, good to see he found himself, is more in control and self assured. He has evolved, as has Angie and Caprice.

I hope for a reasonably happy ending, and as flawed characters go, someone may get hurt.

Thank you Carvohi,

M1*****

I have read some excellent stories on this site over the past few years, but this!!! This is the ABSOLUTE BEST story on Lit! The characters are very human and the change in Cayden is a sight to behold. I am wondering what will happen now that you brought Vince back into the story and hope that it's nothing that Cayden & his "brothers & sisters" can't handle.

The other question--loose ending?--I have is why was Cayden's 'family" massed in his church and at the dance & supper? I understand they take care of him, but to have the whole "family" who go to different churches, etc in 1 place at the same time? Almost sounds like they were expecting either a proposal or trouble.

I keep checking for some hope in the next chapter. This one offered it in the beginning, then took it away. I appreciate the authors complicated characters, but I find it hard to like any of them. Whenever they show signs of being likable, they soon show another side. The author definitely shows outstanding skills, but the shifts in the story and personality flaws in the characters just don't make me feel good about the story, but I appreciate the author's efforts and talent.

Cayden, Caprice and Angie have all had a rough life, a very unhappy life. They deserve happiness. Polyamory would work for the adults, but not a great environment for Emily. Barry, Bernard, Matt and Vince can still be problems. This story has been so good so far I hate to see a poor ending.

did she have to return home? Why could she not call them and tell them she is ok. Then set up meeting them with Cayden at her parents house or at Caydens farm.

WOW...Carvohi sure knows how to capture his audience.

And of course now we have Vince back in the picture...why do I somehow see Caprice/Lauren being murdered by Vince?

Hope the ending is as good as this story is so far. This story has everything .

What an excellent read.....can not wait for the next chapter

This set just keeps on giving and giving!

I'm beginning to feel the end approaching and with it the first pangs of regret, even in the midst of my elation for the characters and their lives.

I find myself caring about them and wondering how well they'll get through the next episode, what will happen, how they'll cope.

Mr big lummox, Cayden McLeish reminds me a little of a classmate we all called 'Bear'. He was big...really big and could shred you if you gave him cause. But the man had no enemies and was everyone's vote for best classmate. It didn't start out that way. When he first came to school he was bullied and tormented to the point of suicide....... Well, maybe I'll write about it someday.

But carvohi, this is a great ride, a very engaging little story that we can't put away.

Scots wha hae!

Why did he or caprice not call the parents first to find out there views on there missing daughter and how at the age of 18 could she have forgotten her past life. It doesn't add up.

We all want things to add up. Except for the years we get to spend here nothing ever adds up. People don't behave rationally. If they did we wouldn't be human. The whole LW genre is about senseless irrational behavior.

Two classic tales immediately come to mind; neither of which is ranked among the top stories. There's Troubador's story with Early and Susan. She had a happy marriage to a wonderful man; it was just too much for her. Then there's Nici's story about the wife who took it upon herself to nurture a man who wasn't her husband at the expense of everything she thought she loved.

Almost all the stories in this genre are the same; someone figures out a way to ruin their own life and the lives of the people around them. What's really sick is that these stories all too often replicate real life. No it just doesn't add up. I think that's what makes this genre so interesting.

Another crushing tale that is by HDK, JPB or Ohio is the one titled 'The Anatomy of an Affair.' God was that heartbreaking to read. I probably got the author wrong; if I did I'm sorry. Some are just so sad. Read Francis Macomber's 'Funny You Should Ask'. It breaks your heart. It makes you angry. You want to give the damn thing a one, but you know its a five.

No scots men would act like Cayden. He spends money freely, acts like a weasel and has no spine. Stupid farmer would be a better match. And he has nothing done in his past that portraits him as a hero neither. He was a selfish ass and has not learned anything. This story is like a train wreck. You know its bad, but you hope for better.

Why did Caprice have to return home alone? Everyone should have went with her. And what about the pimp asshole? Looks like everything's coming to a head. Last chapter? We'll see...

... why your stories are so lame. You hold the Early and nici stores as best in class, yet you also note that they have been panned by most readers. Those stories rely upon plot holes to get going, incorporating weak / defective characters that make them unlikeable, with the authors moving the stories into implausible situations.

Take this set of stories. Once I got to the point in the first chapter where the protagonist knew he should not have married his wife, well, that was the end of it. So there were seven chapters of stupidity and grief after that? What else could happen, who wants to sit through that? I made it up to that point, even though it was obvious that the bored farmer was relying on horses and poker. You was established that the protagonist's character was questionable, hinting that he will barely have the abilty to cope. Would have been more plausible if the farmer traded track horses, he was already in the farm buisness, knew the track horses well enough to bet on them. You know, be a driver instead of a passenger. That is the diffence between a strong character and a lame one. And I am sure whores hang around horse owners and bettors.

Anyway, I have a hard time staying with a story once a significant plot hole has been encountered, why I elect to do the CTRL-END and drop off another 1* bomb. Comments are more interesting to read.

- Just another anon

The IDIOT Carvohi said..." People don't behave rationally. If they did we wouldn't be human. "

Um no you blithering idiot..

some PEOPLE dont behave rationally

It is more than a little frightening or scary to see the number of readers who think that this vile piece of shit is actually a good story. It is even more shocking to read the mindless blather that this idiot author posted his own feedback.

This story turned to shit because of 2 reasons

FIRST ...almost every single story that this overrated mentally unstable author has ever done ALWAYS features the man -- be it married or divorced -- in scene after scene getting treated like shit. Even worse is that in these stories by THIS author the main character ends up being more shit but is so fucking stupid that he think he is eating steak.

SECOND .. Once Angie and Caprice -- and the reader for that matter-- find out about the the extreme form of childhood neglect .. abuse... torture .. and emotional devastation that Cayden underwent in his early years... the piling on of shit upon shit over Cayden is too much.

Over the last several chapters Cayden does not have the ability to utter one sentence in any sort of rational coherent form beyond that of a Neanderthal . He gets beaten up repeatedly .... even by small frail librarians . He has an ex whore as a part time girlfriend who laughs at his small cock . Even when Angie finds out the truth Cayden her rage over the last several chapters towards him does not diminish.

Yet they both claim to love him but they consistently and go out of their way to humiliate him. They openly engage in a lesbian relationship and front of him for several chapters even though either of them will touch him until recently.

In every single instance Caprice goes out of her way to show him that she is NOT interested in him ( up to this chapter) . The entire reaction by the cunt whore Caprice with the phone call from Barry in front of Cayden is so contrived... so forced and awful it is just anorther example of this author shitting on Cayden again.

Even worse Caprice constantly tell us that she is deeply in Love with Cayden -- which is why she CONSTANTLY goes out with other men???.

Throughout this awful story Caprice and Angie are fully aware of the severe pain and emotional anguish that Cayden must be going through. Yet neither one of them can't seem to take any of Cayden background emotions or history into consideration for one second.

Even when this idiot weak inept pathetic loser of a man tries to have a normal and very reasonable conversation with this guy Devereaux ...that to turns into a pile of shit where Cayden gets crushed even more. And when Devereaux asserts that his wife is a grown woman and has a right to make own decision Cayden is unable to say six words ... I am the father of Angie's daughter .

and the last scene of sending Caprice away is very badly done. way too much streaming and ranting and raving. That an slow ponderous dickhead like Cayden would NOT give Caprice time to think about this .... awful... just awful.

I'm so chagrined. You sure know how to cut a guy to the quick. I had an acquaintance who lived alone, had no wife, no kids, no friends. You sound just like him; you know all angry and pissed off all the time. One thing's for sure; speaking from experience, trying to figure out women or girls is like trying to predict the weather; just when you think you've got it figured out it changes. Men aren't much better.

Harry, Harry, Harry; you seem surprised that people don't behave rationally; how irrational you are. Had I been a rational man I would never have married and, with my wife, had all our kids. I mean talk about an irrational waste of good money. All I get from them is a seesaw from aggravation to joy; two very emotional and irrational human behaviors. I think of all the dishonest irrational shit we used to feed our kids about things like Easter Bunnies, Tooth fairies, and Santa Claus, and oh yeah - God and redemption and Heaven and compassion and caring and helping the less fortunate and being stupid do gooders. And shit; they don't even appreciate it!

Harry why don't you try to write something yourself. I'd be glad to read it and give your a 'fair and balanced' appraisal. That's why HDK gets on my nerves; he actually points things out, I mean legitimate things I missed, and that makes me want to do better.

Some other author quoted Kurt Vonnegut. I paraphrase; a critic who remorselessly assails someone else's work is comparable to someone attacking a cream pie with a hot knife. Anyone reading your comments would think Literotica was a porn site; then again... Oh Harry aren't you ashamed of yourself; your mother would be so embarrassed...back to Sunday School for you Harry. lol.

By the way, seriously, please keep reading and keep commenting. I know this is going to piss you off; but I think I kind of like you. Gee, talk about irrational!

NOBODY acts rationally ALL of the time. That's why rash decisions at the seat of power cannot be taken by just one person. Everyman occasionally has to stand naked.

carvohi

1 star

The anticipation is at its crescendo. A fiver and thanks

Was this the only way to tell the story? I suppose the other characterization could have been the 6 foot 6, 275 lb ex Seal.

My protagonist was just a regular guy. He fell in love, had a bad experience, fell in love again, and things worked out. Yeah I guess he was a little backward, but he was dealing with women. No one has a clue when it comes to women.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Loving how well the story has developed and that the characters actually have strengths and weaknesses. A bit over the top, but damn sure better than some one-dimensional cutout. I am getting tired of you telling us Angie is skinny,with stick legs, tiny tits and no ass. I get it. Actually, I got it the first nine times you wrote it. Still, all 5's from me. Nice job.

Thanks for taking your time and efforts to provide us with some entertainment while we criticize everything you do. That's the way I see it sometimes. I for one enjoy the emotional development of your characters. Keep up the good work and blow off the assholes.

by the brains thrust of common sense, how does one avert a tragedy. TK U MLJ LV NV

who wrote the first three chapters and who the hell took over from there? Cause it damn sure couldn't be the same author.

It's a good story, but the personalities of the three leads are bouncing around so much I'm getting whiplash!

All the game playing from the women, while saying they love him and after finding the chest, and finding out about his childhood. Cayden avoiding confrontation all the time, then suddenly becoming Mr. Confidence...

It'll be interesting to see how it ends!

so good but the last two chapters were awful. WTF happenned ????

That Cayden dude has become a lunatic, a moron . WHY ??? doesn't matter-- you ruined a good story

1 starr

Schwanze. The quality has dropped precipitously. BTW, "Goetteraemmerung! "? Come on. If you want to make the allusion, get it right. There's this thingy called the "Internet" that makes it easy. As with other Lit authors, the theology is absolutely ridiculous. If you are some sort of Methodist, for example, you might think that you "know" God loves you, but that it's not unconditional. Historically that view tends toward heresy, but it is common among happy clappy Evangelicals. Calvinists (i.e. Reformed Christians), however, would never say anything remotely like that. Learn what "TULIP" means. A little internet effort could have avoided the embarrassment.

These other people must not be reading the same story I just did. This is a wonderful series Jed. Cayden is a strong character, Caprice is great even if she tried to make Cayden jealous. I would have handled Caprice differently. Maybe an ultimatum about dating all those other guys?

I was disappointed in the way Cayden sent Caprice away. He gave her no warning, no choice, just packed her up and told her to go. He was acting like he owned her. They were supposed to have transcended that relationship. Totally ignored what the pastor had advised.

Getting a very bipolar vibe from the story. Too many convoluted games that could have been avoided, seemingly just to pad out the length. Started out really well, but at this point, it's gotten soap opera-esque. Hoping it picks up for a good ending.

Unfortunately this is how most MFF polys go, a switch who tops from the bottom, who’s dominant over a totally submissive woman, and a clueless man who they let feel in charge even though he doesn’t have hint he’s a chump. No matter how smart or dumb any of them are it’s all about the pivot in the middle. Exactly how it ain’t s’posed to be.

Keep it real Jed

~Enkidu

? marks go at the end of a question, not after a subsequent statement. junior high english major error.

Talk about torture!!!!

Yep, he is a big stupid dumb farmer, but that is the central plot device of your story.

This is Cavohi, so a happy ending is almost guaranteed.

4/5 for annoying me by dragging this out.

Wow this is getting interestinger,and interestinger. And just think, a whopper of a finish is yet to come. LP

Crikey this has got me hooked big time⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cayden pulled himself together JUST in time for me to keep reading. 5*. Had i quit reading that would've meant 3*.

Why the drama at the end? She's a grown woman, so going to see her parents seem natural. As does going back home after. A thirty year old doesn't go 'home' to her parents, she just visits. It will be a very emotional visit, not a normal reunion, but still, we don't expect her to have a family with her parents, do we?

That part seems a bit ovee the top.