All Comments on 'The Damp, Gray Gone Ch. 02'

An interesting tie in to this story, but when will Luke realize that there may be clues to his ex's disaperarance in the stack of printed e-mails from her lawyer lover? Love the story so far and you have fleshed out the characters in wonderful detail. Thanks for the pleasure.

I didn't find Bill Maitland's shooting as suspenseful... I didn't really think there was any chance he was killed.

Not just Kristen's advice (got it) & Gaver's demands (to call with anything?) but the whole picture, hit him like a freight train. I'm just not getting it. Well at least, unlike WWWM, I won't have to wait too long.

Thanks Rehnquist. This is your usual excellent work!

Very good and well thaught out sequence of events. Great writing. thanks Chief Justice.

All the other 2 said and this. When you revealed that the professor was getting into it, the story took on huge degrees of interest.

I may be the only one on Literotica who finally wondered, "Geez, when is WWWM going to freakin' END?" I quit reading it altogether a few "chapters" ago. By that time, I didn't much care what happened to any of them. But, I guess, that's me.

I'm enjoying the hell out of your stuff, though, so no loss. Thanks for a great read.

Could it be that her lover pursued her because he had a tie in to the drug dealers?? Time to read the rest of the emails eh?

The title of this comment sums it all up, a good story, well plotted and told. Looking forward to number 3, full marks, a pity 5 is as high as we can go.

I agree with WILLAC, I think her lover has something to do with her disappearance.

I also feel that he should never take her back, friends like Kristin and Tyler - Yes but NO reconciliation. She betrayed his love, his trust and their family values...that's a conscientious decision and not a good one!

Of course, the foregoing being considered if she is still alive, not involved with a conspiracy or anything unlawful?

And...the 90K 401...?

Thanks again, I'll be up at midnight with your other readers hoping to be pleasantly and agreeably happy with the outcome.

BTW, I had to re-read the last two of DQS so that I could read the latest entry...I'll be sooooo glad when he finishes. He is good but aggravating so - again...

'Thank You' for being you and your style!!!

Excellent story well told. and yes this is a great week. DQS posts his latest section, and you have a great story going as well. What could be better?

Rehnquist, you have an amazing talent for telling a good story. I look forward to the next section.

Love your work, this is by far one of the best, enjoyed the tie in, with your past works and seeing how they are doing. The relationship with Kyle and Luke is so realistic and raw. Thank you for the great read, and am looking forward to reading the 3rd installment tomorrow.

I like the incorporation of characters from your other stories as well, looking forward to the next chapter!

BOTH OF YOU HAVE SIMILIAR STYLES. R SINCE 2/09 AND DSQ 2/10. BOTH HAVE 5 SUBMISSIONS WITH MULTIPLE CHAPTERS. R USES PRIOR SUBMISSIONS TO ADD CHARACTER IN HIS WRITING. DSQ USES DIFFERENT THEMES, BOTH OF THESE ARE PEERS TO ONE ANOTHER. BOTH ARE GOOD WRITERS AND HAVE ABILITY TO STRING OUT ENDINGS WHILE LEAVING ROOM FOR EPILOGS OR SPIN OFFS. THIS ALLOWS THE READERS TO ENJOY THEIR STORIES. BOTH HAVE THE ABILITY IN USING SCENES AND CHARACTERS TO ADD INTRIGUE WHILE MOVING TO AN ENDING. TK U MLJ LV NV

With Whitney's disappearance, the mystery of her affair and juggling all the existential dissonance, Luke really is dealing with a damp gray gone-ness.

I find the story quite compelling.

smells like reality

Probably the best I've ever read on this site, and comparative with some of the better authors selling today. Can't tell you how impressed I am!

Excellent Writing. Solid, believable character development.

Wow, Kristin, Tyler and Marisa make a reappearance! Nice. At first I hadn't made the connection, but then the name Marisa popped up, and I remembered. Heh, I'm bad with remembering names.

Random speculation: Maybe there's something going on between Heather and Randy. Or will be. I doubt Luke will start anything with her. Too young. (Or, at most, a one night stand. It'd still be robbing the cradle though.) As far as I can tell, she's just a tease.

Random speculation #2: Luke ending up with Kristin. Seems to be the direction this story is going.

I was a little surprised that Luke did NOT read through all of the other emails he had printed out. I would've done that as soon as possible, just to know what the heck happened. Like other said, maybe it's a tie-in to Whitney's disappearance.

Luke getting the email that was supposed for Whitney from her lover was pretty painful, compounded by Whitney deleting her inbox and just saying she's sorry. Still no explanations.

Recently I haven't been able to stomach stories that are longer than 3 pages, but I read through this really fast. It's a fantastic story up to this point.

Here I am worrying about the fact that the conspiracy theory may get lost in the flurry of action story where the Platoon Commander comes back on scene. The way you do things, apparently you think that known facts permit the elimination of the conspiracy theory on US power structures. It would be really interesting to see this though emotions would probably obscure anything said on this subject...

Great to discover that the wonderful Kindergarten teacher is that self-centered bitch that we met in a previous story. Now we can appreciate the "What ifs" that are being thrown about and wonder about the local litany on the site, "once a cheat, always a cheat". You may end up educating us!

Your portrayal of a university professor in action is much more positive than that of DQS1!

Readers are going to expect, and even demand, well plotted, very well written stories and novels on this site. They will compare all writers to the Chief, and its a damn safe bet the rest of us will come up short. Damn The Chief Justice and the stuff he writes! He is trying to make eveyone else look bad!

This is just a very, very good story. No more to say.

Part II as part I, solid and well written.

You have delivered another wonderful story

Let me guess. The wife's lover works for the defence's firm and may be on the defence team in the big trial. Her seduction was just a means to upset her and put her off balance before trial. Works for me.

Loved reading Roman history when I was younger and stiil read some Cicero every few months. I especially like Livy's histories cause he has an idealistic view of his city's past. Noble men and noble actions and love of the republic. Not real of course.

The change from republic to monarchy, I don't view as a change at all. I see it as a natural progression of the patronage system. The emperor was simply the patron of all the other elites. Think extended mafia clans with one boss finally coming out on top. All those patricians were in effect minor monarchs throughout the republics history.

Good practice writing here and appreciate it. Amazed you have the time. Would like to know what you are working on for paper publication. Woud love to read a draft when you are done.

Five stars of course.

I pretty much like the redemption that you have offered to Kristen. The story that started great just got better.

. . . instead of starting them with those smug little introductions?

Okay, it's great work. That said, look up "sardonic: disdainfully or cynically mocking" -- wrong word choice for the intended portrait. Perhaps "wistful" or "nostalgic"

I mean, I cannot just keep piling on the compliments. There is always a process of seeking improvement in the soul of the artist and the scientist -- both relentless truth seekers.

Gibbons? Toynbee? Disciplined study of the long subversive effort to usurp the Constitutional Republic and transform it into an oligarchy initially disguised as the beneficent deeds of the few for the many? Citizens of the Republic prostituting themselves for public monies great and small? Celebration of prostitution by the ruling self-appointed elite to secure the blessings of power to themselves and their posterity? History as prologue?

Good on ya, mate!!

Been a great week for us LV fans, and this is good as it gets.

Rehnquist has raised the bar way too high. For the first time DQS is starting to look number 2. I cant believe we are getting all this hot off the oven stuff for FREE!!!

Restores my belief in "the best things in life are free". You deserve a lot of HOT Hugs and kisses from real hotties and I do so hope you get them and some.

Grateful to be in your fan club. FZC

Your tales are fascinating by your use of character re-engagement. I grin when I read your intros and think DQS should snatch the pebble...

md

here in Oz so I might be wrong but I thought he did read all the emails - something about four beers and three hours later he knew the wife's cheating time line. Or was it three beers and four hours?

Thanks Rehnquist, this is riveting stuff!

I got sidetracked a bit with the two young research assistants and their take on comparison of ancient Roman history with current events here, but it seems that the real set up of this chapter is the three part tension looming between Whitney and Kristen as the female legs of the triangle and Luke as base. In all of the TV cop shows interogations of witnesses always end with, "if you think of anything else please call". Obviously the think of something else is in the stack of emails printed off, but I wonder what it might be. The Chief Justice will let us know next chapter.

As I recall, Kristen was fairly excoriated in the earlier story for cheating on Tyler. In this story she is resurected and rehabilitated as potential faithful companion, lover, and future helpmate taking the place of the wretched and faithless Whitney. I met several of my former wife's boyfriends, lovers, whatever, but don't recall any conversations quite like the one Tyler and Luke had when Tyler returned Kyle from the sleepover. What I take from that improbable conversation is how comparable Tyler and Whitney viewed their daliance with an out of family lover. Is it possible that Whitney's behavior is not coal mine dark and Kristen's behavior is not fresh snow pure?

Luke has an interesting and difficult choice in the final chapter, doesn't he? Another great job of storytelling; I guess we have to do that same time and same channel thing.

.....Just excellent. Clearly you didn't have to think very hard on where to end this chapter. I can only hope the end piece comes out tomorrow, because I am going to very frustrated if it does not.

Very nice dialog, the conversations between Kristen and Luke and Tyler are well written. You have the ability to make the characters real and that makes the story stand out.

I never thought that I would read anything better on this site that Longhorn's masterful stories or Josephus stuff. Now I have.

this is brillant in every eay.

The history angle--- which is so common through this story only makes the main character stronger and more real.

The only thing that borthers me... and this is NOT a BIG deal-- I think he should of rest and printed out the rest of the emails.

His wife is god damn motherfucking low life bitch and she lied her ass off right to his face at 7 times in chapter 1. Yeah the husband gave a summary of what he learned from the emails BUT she cant be trusted at all.

****He really should of printed out those emails. ***

SECOND why doesnt the husband tell the cops about the emaisl? about her boyfriend and this secret life she has been living? ...about her secret 401K?

If it were me I would not touch Kirstin with a 10 foot pole.... sure she has changed and matured but only

b/c of her son. Thats a good reason but only up to a point.

IF she were to marry again... the minute Ben was off to college she would be out whoring around again.

You keep me hanging on.... rock on drmike

Intriguing mystery building beyond the tragedy of marriage failure.... too bad there are no more pages to turn today! Thankyou for writing more than just a tale of errant spouses.

Not only an excellent cheating wife story, but now the start of a mystery tale as well. This is one of those infrequent stories I can't wait to read the next chapter but also will most likely hate to see it end.

Thanks for the story. Great setup - soldier/professor protagonist, beautiful, but potentially flawed characters - and I like them all. I think you are good, and this story is another indication. Keep it up!

this story seems to be the first that i've read that has recycled past characters in meaningful ways, where characters like Tyler from a previous cheating wife has put some distance on her past and some reflection in her life... <p>

of course, it goes without saying that, like a drunk who has alcohol seeped deeply into his moleculs and cells, with someone who has fucked around in the past, it is EASIER for them to fuck around in the present or future, even if they presently have some ambivalence about fucking around. and that ambivalence seems to be because of the "hurt" she or he did to others. it is NOT that INSIDE THEMSELVES there's some SELF VIOLATION of some moral or ethical components, when they cheat. <p>

indeed, people who don't cheat or steal. --- even in "trying times" in the various ways, pros and cons --- don't do it NOT because they're afraid what such an action would do to others (although THAT too should put a big shadow over doing such a thing), but, rather, because DEEP INSIDE THEM there's some moral or ethical compass that is self-driven, self-directed that steers them on the straight and narrow path, for its own sake, NOT simply because doing those things would hurt others. <p>

because if the argument/rational is mostly or simply that IF I CHEAT or steal, and OTHERS FOUND OUT about it, it'd cast a bad light on me or it'd hurt them... then I can easily come up with *better* arguments to counter that argument that rests on fear-of-being-discovered and what repercussions the action, if taken, could/would have. <p>

but if the argument rests on the FACT that I WOULD KNOW it (even if no one else would, and I could design an algorithm to hide my actions from them for ever and the algorithms is proven to work effectively, with 100% certainty), and such a thing, an action, would HURT ME or my sense of morality and ethics (or whatever it is) more than it would hurt others, THEN I would, I could, never come up with an argument strong enough to over-ride or violate that self-directed compass... <p>

anyway, again, the story is well written so far....

Okay first, I have to say that I just didn't see this coming. You tied all of the major characters from 2 of my favorite stories ever, together, into a third story that is now my favorite of all time. (including using 2 of your toys that you said I could play with). This story is spellbinding. I just didn't want this part of it to end. It's probably the best writing I've ever seen. With just a few paragraphs you completely changed my mind. In the previous Story I hated Kristin, much like I hate Whitney now, but the growth in her character since then has made me realize that above all else people can change (I seriously doubt that about my ex though) But boy am I pulling for Kristin this time. Marisa also seems to have aged well as time has passed So too have Tim and Nicole. This story is like a gift. My only gripe is that you promised us 4 parts. So if you end it in three, you're going to have to write some more. Great job! but we expect nothing less. SS06

So much different from most LW stories (which by-and-large I skip). Makings of an extraordinary fine tale. So totally different than the typical story written here by authors whose morality or intelligence is akin to a 16 year old. Thank you author.

But only 4 stars, this installment was necessary background and development, but a little slow and not as compelling a read. However, the last several paragraphs hint at the talent of Renquist, what a way to end! Talk about a cliffhanger, cant wait until tomorrow.

Just riveting, waiting to read what happens next. Very interesting how you have tied characters from other stories into this one and brought it all to life in such a heart wrenching way.

Has everyone written Whitney off, huh? Harry?

I think her story is alot more complicated than it appears and she may be involved in something that could exonerate/explain her behavior.

IMO I think she returned Kyle early because she knew she was in danger and didn't want Kyle to be a innocent casualty.

Her reluctance to tell her husband/ex-husband the truth may very well turn out to be that she was protecting them.

Of course, I could be wrong, but it sure is alot of fun thinking about the possibilities. A really, really good story with depth like this one has that effect on a person.

This story has DQSs last bombast beat hands down.

I loved the way that you built upon one of the best stories and developed those characters while telling this new story. Very efficient use of words. This story started with normal life and now has realisticly moved into a thriller.

The breaks in the story allow us to appreciate how good it is. I hope to read more tomorrow!

As Tony would say.

Harry, please go back and fact check. He did print out all of the e-mails. When he started to print he hit the print all button and waited until they were all printed to go and play with his son.

The only e-mail he did not print was the last one from her sent to him when she deleted all of the other e-mails.

The one to him he has not yet opened.

Sorry couldnt resist. No matter how long it is, if it is as well written as this, it aint long enough. One thing is for sure. Your writing may be matched by some but exceeded by none. Thank you.

I meant to wait until all three parts were in but I like your stuff and decided to read these two parts. Now, DAMNIT, I have to wait until tomorrow (hopefully no longer) to finish it and I've enjoyed it too much to do that with any degree of patience.

As always, I appreciate you sharing your considerable talent for telling stories and the time and energy you put into entertaining us.

"Four hours and three beers later, I knew a few things."

That's page 2 of this chapter. Oops, so he did read through all the emails.

To Aeroiel:

By "writing off" you mean, did or did she not cheat and lie to Luke? It's a yes on both accounts.

The only thing I can see that would exonerate her behavior is if she was blackmailed. Had herself or her family threatened.

There's nothing that points to that. Not the emails, which are from between lovers, or her behavior, which has her wanting to leave Luke without a word. It's not the behavior of a woman scared for her life (or her family's life), but of a cheater.

I think you could almost see it as two separate things. The trial case, and her cheating.

Loverboy could very well be connected to the trial, which she could've realized only shortly before her abduction, and hence, return Kyle early. He could have seduced her for nefarious purposes, and it STILL would not exonerate her. She could've said no to his advances. Given the tone of all the emails, loverboy worked long and hard to get her, but succeed he did.

If she WAS fearing for her life (or her family's life), why then did she break it off if she was blackmailed or threatened?

If SHE was threatened, she wouldn't dare break it off, she'd be killed.

If her FAMILY was threatened, then the email letters make utterly NO sense.

My point is, Whitney's cheating itself was unrelated to the trial.

Like all your other stories his is head and shoulders above the rest. You manage to mix serious and light elements effortlessly. The worst part of this story is having to wait a whole day for the next part. On an unrelated note, it's sad reading some of these comments and imagining how some of these readers have been hurt so much.

I have read, WWWM, and I am enjoying it. Your story is every bit as good and I am hooked. Can't wait for the next post.

Ironic - even if they'd stayed together, they'd still be in trouble as her presumed kidnapping is likely unrelated to that. Unless of course the predator from the law firm has a hand in it. Excellent reading.

You are good!!

always a treat justice renhquist. always a treat! will chapter3 see how 'west point' luke is?

If he doesn't call in the help of some of his old war buddies, I might be disappointed. Might. As cliched as that tactic is, it's always a good one, and one that probably happens more often than we may think. Overall, good story.

This is one of the best stories I've read in a long time! Can't wait for the next one!

I especially like how you are taking characters from your other stories and bringing them into this one. After reading this portion of "The Damp, Gray Gone" I went to read some of your other submissions thinking that I hadn't read your stuff before, but found out I had. Keep up the good work and bringing in characters from your others stories are a great addition, so keep doing that.

Excellent!. One of the very best to appear in this category. But a few minor points.

1. Your hero needs to have his mouth washed out. I've known scores of history profs, and not one of them has ever been so free with "fucking this, or fucking that" as your man.

2. There are a few problems in grammar, such as: "swim trunks and towels for Kyle and I in a duffle bag." Or, "No. Like I said, just too...." Or, "me neither," used over and over.

3. And some clumsiness has crept in, such as: "I want you to each read it and come up", which a careful prof might render as : "I want each of you to read it...." , or : "Heather and Randy both e-mailed that they were done reading...."

4. At the swimming pool scene, your hero uncharacteristically lapses into what seems to me to be a succession of juvenile comments worthy of a freshman and not of a man with professorial status.

AEROIEL

dude you are a Moron. I mean a diwmit. Are you related to the idiots Matt Moreau or maybe Britease or JPB?

First you said this

..."I think her story is alot more complicated than it appears and she may be involved in something that could exonerate/explain her behavior."

so in other words she was involved in somethinf so bad she HAD to... just t HAD to fuck another man many tmes ... then Lie about then ...not tell her husband anything was wrong then destory her son by ripping him away from his father ???...

"IMO I think she returned Kyle early because she knew she was in danger and didn't want Kyle to be a innocent casualty."

that isnt what the story says idiot.

"Her reluctance to tell her husband/ex-husband the truth may very well turn out to be that she was protecting them."

so again you are suggesting that Whitney HAD to PROTECT them by fucking another man for several weeks and was planning to leave her husband and take Kyle away from her father? (Go back re-read chapter 1 idiot... that IS what she was planning to do.)

Dude like I said you a moron

first the author.... Rehnquist is just too smart and too good a writer NOT tto leave them

Looking at chapeter 1 the affair and the secret lover and the feelings that " i need some excitement in my life" started at the same the the drug case started.

the two are related.

Whitney is Prosecuter so.... she is unlikely to abandon a Major drug case like this on her own.

I love how you are twisting each of your stories to come into contact with each other. Its great to see Tyler and Merisa! Nice to know that she and he have a baby! I am sorry to hear its been cut down from four chapters to three! Hopefully Kristin has a better chance at love in this story...

Minor grammar issues aside (and one time calling Kristen "Karen"), this story is very good. The only part that seems dumb at this point is the idea that a history professor would try to save his ex himself. Maybe he's not planning this but the story hints that may be on the horizon. A smart professor, war hero not-with-standing, would just give the police everything he has and leave the rest to them.

One other issue -- if he has a really bum hip, he could get a hip replacement. The new ones now last 30+ years, they almost never get infected, and most folks can play sports (like tennis) quite well after healing up. Why hasn't he considered this? Thanks for writing.

The story is making a funny turn on the disappearing of Whitney. But you are a great writer and a fantastic story teller. I could not wait for the final chapter.

I'm enjoying it very much. You have me wondering about the boy friend, evidently a lawyer or investigator with a private law firm. Strange that he didn't sign any of his e-mails. You mentioned a confrontation in your initial introduction which leads me to believe he is involved in Whitney's disappearance. <P>

JB

wait for the next chapter.

R,

Suspense, pain filled conflict, an emotional roller coaster.

I need a drink. Diet Coke, not Pepsi. Please Ch. 3 !!

Great writing, R.

Thank for sharing on Lit.

x

I didnt realize that the characters in the other two stories were in the same town. The way you have tied everything in this story to the other two shows either a great deal of prior planning or an amazing talent to blend these divergent stories into a cohesive tale. That's what makes this effort so impressive. Keep it coming, I'm lovin' it.

Once again you have me addicted. Cant wait for the next chapter.

Over and over in these stories we come upon the 'Nun Syndrome' where the cheating wife after her nefarious ways are found, rejects them and enters a nun-like life of no men. This is of course ridiculous and downright boring. This state was imposed upon Kristin and, I guess, we are supposed to believe this is some glorious condition - an aggrieved husband is getting his comeback. His poor mate is now so repentant that she can't bear another man after the wrong she has done. We wish! Fortunately here the NS was lightly use and terminated well before the vomit level.

What's with names Whitman vs Whitney? Randy (2nd husband) vs Randy(grad student)?

Still gave 5*s.

My guess is that the "lover" pursued her in an attempt to influence the trial, or at least gain information, failing that he is behind the kidnap she wouldn't have seen the abduction coming

Well, may be. From the first notes of part 1, I guess we won't have too long to wait to find out, if the above is correct will the war hero assist the police by more than pointing them in the right direction? Classic for the genre would be he saves her (army training) may be getting hurt along the way but still won't take her back. Kristin gets to find true love with Luke and Whitney realises she has lost the best man she would ever find!

ok, finally made the connection to the Tyler character, but only after the description of his new wife. Great tie in. Can't wait for the next part!

I do hope that he and Kristin wind up together. I truly hate reconciliation stories, where one spouse has so gravely wronged the other.

This is the first time I have read a story of yours. Boy, it is true what they say: You are the equal of DQS. I read Chapter 1 non-stop and had to continue this Saturday night and read Chapter 2 also non-stop. Your development of the story is superb. Details abut Kyle and even the puppy are well done, all making for a complete family story (currently minus a mother in the house). She should perhaps get another change as a wife and mother.

I do have one thing that I'm unable to determine after reading the first two chapters, viz., where is the story location? I enjoy reading more when I know location(s) of stories, the weather or the time of year, etc. With this story I first thought you were English and the location was England. Then Luke mentioned the Cubs baseball team needed better pitching so I assumed this story took place in or near Chicago. Then latter on you mentioned something that indicated to me that you might be in southern California, specifically the valley. I guess it really should not matter were a story is taking place unless the location or setting has in some way an importance to the story.

As with DQS's WWWM, in which there is this question of whether Debbie loves Bill now as she had during their first ten years of their marriage, the same question might be asked regarding Whit's love for Luke. Seems to me she does love him but but also wanted an affair with a young lawyer. She had a perfect situation in which Luke, having professor's hours, left him with time to devote to Lyle and to housework, this giving Whit extra, needed time to prepare for court.

Whit's answer to that email she received from her lover stated her intention to stay with her husband and child (her family). She may have already slept with the young lawyer. Yet, what happen there? Why didn't she discuss all this with Luke? Additionally, I believe that Luke is a real true blue war hero which was another reason for Whit to love and respect her husband.

Got me Hooked . I cant wait to see where it goes and of course we will have to wait.

Geez,and impressive- even that idiot shoe isn't trying to justify/explain/blame Whitney's obvious cheating on the main character [yet].

Ended it perfectly...so perfectly that I feel like the dumbest fish in the sea as Mr. Rehnquist dropped his second installment and SNAP...I swallowed his wonderful lure: hook, line, sinker and rod(oops...well it is Literotica). Again, thank you for sharing your generous and bountiful writing talents. Great tale!

Loved the story; loved the tie in of past characters from other stories and whilst I am a patient man, breaking this into parts is tearing me apart.

With yourself and DQS I stand in awe of the quality of stories!

Thank you!

C

I agree with all the readers' comments on this page. You are tops! Like DQS the quality here is high. Though you don't take so long between chapters. It lessens the intense invlovment and anticipation. I know the next chapter is just 'round the corner and the excitement is still fresh. Well done and thank you!

I could add a "hell of a read" to add additional emphasis!!!

DQS next chapter and a new Rehnquist story! The quality of reading material on the site is picking back up!

Looking forward to the rest of your story / writing!

Well worth the time to read

Thank you for posting - MUCH appreciate

A nice twist is now in the story, and not knowing the outcome of his ex-wife's disappearance is something to really think about.

So far the story has held my interest very well, and a very good read.

Thanks for the entertainment.

Love the pug's addition to the family. A neighbor or ours had a pug and ever since I've thought they were great dogs. You shared some info about them of which I was unaware ... thanks for that!

But of course everybody's noticed that by now.

Beautifully written, engaging, totally engrossing. You just can't do it better than this.

Even if Kristen became Karen briefly, and even if Mr. Chief Justice slipped and wrote "for Kyle and I." Hell, most of my mistakes are far worse than those....

Thanks for a great great story--

ohio

You definitely know how to write a story that is easy and pleasurable to read, not only that you're a tease! What a technique .. he's a war hero and you not only wont tell why he's a war hero you explain why you wont tell.

I was amazed to read about the comparision of US to the Roman Empire as I believe that most 'Empires' decline eventually & what worries me is what country or politics will rise in the future. I am from New Zealand and while we wont let the USA (or any other country) send nuclear powered or armed ships to our ports we are very aware (some of us) of the role that the US plays in this world.

Oh, enough of that ... terrific story. Gotta go and read the next chapter & can I blame you for making me late for work tommorrow?

A guess what? It's about history. I guess I've seen parts of this transition from republic to dictatorship in other places, but it was brilliant to insert it into this story. I've enjoyed/am enjoying rereading, the story again with all the twists and interesting characters; and it's sexy too. Great job.

Big mistake talking to the police. His wife is an attorney so he would know that.

Talking to the police is bad and can never help but, even if you are innocent, it can get you sent to prison.

I agree with Ohio. Future authors will have to keep up with Rehnquist and the departed DQS. Stang is getting there, Jake60 was already there as well. I thouroughly enjoyed the masters of the shorter stories like Longhorn, Ohio, HDK, and others like them. I think they should try these longer stories as well.

I especially like that this Author has showed us that selfish bitches like Kristen can grow up and change. So for you hateful torch the bitch types, how is Kristen any different than the present wife described in this story, should they reconcile. Wasn't Kristen a self-serving, cheating bitch too in that story?

According to you, once a cheater, always a cheater. Right?

I prefer to think that everyone changes a bit as they go through life. Wisdom is just that, things learned through experience.

To take this long for a supposedly bright man to figure out how his wife has been manipulated and set up - sheeiit

Lol assuming I have lept to the right conclusion heh

You know something? I truly admire the way the protagonist is NOT a Ranger. Seems like the offended party is generally SF or Ranger or Seal or has infinite resources to prosecute his "just cause" against the spouse...well, here's news flash for the world: Rangers are 0.3% of the Army. Even retired Rangers (and I AM one, so I know) are a vanishingly small number of the Army. The huge majority of the US Army are regular men (yes, and women) who ARE NOT RANGERS. Heroes? Every damned day. All day. The ones who win wars and hearts and minds. Rangers are 2,000 very well trained and equipped young men. Ably led, all that. And yeah, I have a Bronze Star with valor. The REAL Army is what makes this land great. I admire you for exposing the world to that home truth. 1SG, Ret. 11B5VQ8C2, if it means anything to you.

Being an attorney would help you know that talking to the police is usually a good thing - it's why when it isn't it makes such an interesting story, the rarity.

DWmoronic must be a dimwit of the nth degree, or just hate police for some reason

I like the way you put stories together. The words just seem to flow out, but I have a problem with your use of what I think of as inappropriate curse words such as "Chrissake" and "Jesus H. Christ". This offends me so much that I have to pause and ask myself if I want to read further. In any case, would a PhD-educated history professor use such phrases in normal talking? Even when frustrated or upset? I believe you can find other words of perhaps to be more politically incorrect you could throw in a few non-Christian curse words - perhaps a few ""Oh Mohammed" phrases. Point is, a few less curse words would not hurt your story.

Fuck you and the god fucking your ass. Go preach your stupid "don't blaspheme my big badass imaginary guy-in-the-sky" crosstianity somewhere else. If there was anything to your god and blasphemy he'd have blasted my jesusfuckingchristing ass already from here to oblivion. Obviously, he hasn't, because he doesn't exist. The author's speech may offend you, but I'm certain your religiocy offends me, so go fuck yourself with a bible and some missal wine.

Hear, hear !!

My own inclination is to:

a) allow authors their own use of the english language.

b) regard the opinion of anonymous as worthless as they are not willing to put their name to their words.

c) regard flaming as overcompensation for one's own shortcomings. Take that as you please, the more insulting the less inaccurate.

d) I thoroughly believe in the "Henny Penny" rule. If you don't do the work, you don't get the bread. Authors post here for constructive feedback and compliments. They are not here to be flamed.

e) regard religious practice as individual, not collective. Please don't push for religious observances that are personal rather than colleective. (Anonymous 10-11-11's request was phrased courteously, thank you)

I do believe in God. I believe we are given free will by God. Free will is: Every human has a God given right to be creatively stupid. This includes the right to be offensive as well as right to chastise others for offensive behavior.

I would preferr comments to be about the story and not mutual flamings. That said.

I like this story, the technical aspect is good. I believe the characters are well developed. My own experience includes University faculty who can't speak without at least one profanity in a sentence, especially true for combat veterans. Due to the GI Bill after WWII a great many University Faculty were combat veterans.......

I like the use of the wife from What you wish for as the forward movement facilitator in this story.

Who cares about Christ? Profanity?

Really? You're here reading erotic stories and offended by language?

GAFL

(get a fucking life)

While I liked the story line and your development of the characters, I almost quit reading before finishing the end because of your uncalled for use of the name of Jesus Christ in your many instances of cursing. Do you not know that Jesus Christ is one of the most important people who ever lived and that your flippant use of his name is terribly offensive to many readers? If you have the guts, why not use "Mohammed" in a cursing sort of way? Do THAT a few time and see what response you receive. Actually, you should be capable of writing without throwing in unnecessary curses.

I am not really looking forward to the next chapter, but you have me wondering what is going to happen, so here goes...

Great part 2 some small errors, but nothing too distracting. Remember this is from a back seat driver, armchair quarterback.

:D

Dipshit

Why is it you "family types" have no problem with going to other peoples countries and killing their families?

Is it really "heroic" to volunteer to go to someone else's country, and kill people whose only crime is defending their country, home, and family?

I am an American born and raised. But I have to wonder whether Americans will ever come to terms with how brutal and ruthless Americans are? Will we always be predators, with no empathy for our prey?

Someone needs to add tags in this category for "warmongering", and "xenophobia".

Robert

Robert,

Where are you getting your so called "information" that compels you to accuse us "American Family Types" of going to other peoples country's and kill their families. As a Marine Vietnam Combat Vet, I fail to understand what in the hell you are talking about and I seriously doubt if you understand either. Do innocents die as a result of our actions, yes, but in almost 99% of the time, it isn't intentional. Not to mention the ones that we are accused of killing that we had nothing to do with but were the results of actions within their "own people" and we were blamed.

Have you ever been in combat where someone was actively trying to kill you? I can assure you that I and every other American will do whatever is necessary to defend ourselves. Would you not do the same if you or your family's life were threatened? Are you not aware of how our enemy of today has no problem using women and children to become walking bombs with the sole intention of killing not only our troops but even "their own" innocent fellow countrymen. War is not pleasant for any of us. Do you not think our troops would not prefer to be home with their own family and loved ones? As to it happening in their country, would you prefer to have these human bombs walking around in your home town or neighborhood?

Maybe you should do a little more research before you go around and accuse us of being merciless and insensitive killers. At least you have the personal freedom and liberty to make such remarks without your life being in danger and your sole retribution is being called to task by someone such as myself.

are as screwed up as this story.

probably SOCIALIST UNION PEOPLES

I'm glad I read some of your other novellas. The intertwining of the characters allows for a deeper and more rich palate from which to paint the story.

Again, excellent buildup.

Same old boring sh*t. Excellent story, blah blah. Characters are great, blah blah. Plot keeps me going... Do I have to keep on lumping up superlatives?

This is a great tale. Congrats.

I thought this chapter didn't quite live up to the high std you set for the 1st; however this is a compelling read.