All Comments on 'The Dark Side'

she is being honest, I guess I can see a reconciliation being plausible. Trust but verify from now on though.

Normally reconciliation stories never seem to work, but in this case Alison did everything she could to atone for neglecting and destroying her marriage. I'm glad it all worked out for them and they got a happy ending.

Did I miss it?

.... this bitch did!

NO amount of rationalization can rectify her offenses, and his pathetic, pussy whipped response.

Well written but poor story....

she lied, she's still a shark at heart.

she even admits it when it appears safe to do so.

she's always using 'double-speak' to get what she wants. she didn't whore around, she's sorry and is glad he 'caught her before she did something completely idiotic'

no, she's been cheating on him for a long while. he didn't magically stumble upon the very first time she 'slipped'. she's always trying to minimize her role. she admits when she has to, and bends where she can. you wrote a CEO persona well, too well. she's basically a psychopath. a stupid one, but that's normal. they're not egg-heads, just clever. she also smiled easily when he talked about a girlfriend. that body language says a lot. it means she's cheated very often before being caught, and is happy her trophy is such a stud. there is no deep love there. only surface level pageantry. and she even later threatened to cut his dick off if he strayed. i'd laugh in her face and might even spit in it. she got too comfortable, too quick.

was it a good tale? i loved it. i'd say it could have used the wife's POV, but you painted us the picture of a Machiavellian CEO wife. she never changed at all, and even admitted to not WANTING to. but she did remove SOME of her old toxic environment. she's very aware of her faults and the why's, but she'll never admit them out loud. mostly because everyone else is literally beneath her. even her husband, even her daughters. she values them though, they are her precious trophies. that's the only thing that's changed. her focus from CEO domination into family domination.

except for the tiresome cliche of the threesome with Danielle. Very creative except for that. Still, it's a 5

Props for the cool side characters like the big Samoan and defiant/stalwart old Brit on the freighter.

Thanks for portraying the true heart of village Mexicans.

Was decent until ex who's not an ex shows up and dismantles his life again, then falls in to order.

Sigh.

Oh, pride of man and integrity of spirit. So easily sold for some pussy.

Was a 4 or 5 until the beginning of the end, then plummeted to zero quicker than a plane with bird-struck engines falling out the sky. Then more case of going through the motions to confirm suspicions. Not as bad as how simped other authors would have flushed the protagonist down the drain.

Rather disappointing how quickly daughters sold him out as well. Talk about damaged trust. Live and die together, until the source of their uprootment got a tat, then it was like, all, cool and funky, ya'know.

The Third

Author, you certainly have an excellent imagination. I too would have liked to know how she found them. I tend to like my packages all neatly tied up with a bow.

Luke,

I guess the Force was with you after all.

Boyd Percy

That was weird and fun and adventurous!

5* and thanks a lot for the entertainment!

Ugh, shamelessly lazy writing adding in the cliche threesome.

Lots of twists and turns in this one. Great entertainment!! Five stars ain't enuf.

I was looking for a quick turn on story and got hooked. I actually loved it. Thank you

Enjoyable story. Good characters, a believable plot, interesting locals and good adventures- got it all. The only hole I see in the story is an explanation as to how Allison found them.

Not a great story and went from the office work loving bitch to mexican sex slave guys and pirates? I did miss how his wife found the island.

I don't know, bottom line to me is she was and still is a selfish whore that he should never trust. The entire family (her side) is trouble. He should file for divorce, get 50% of whatever she has which is I bet a lot, and live life without her.

Understand is why does the husband always fuck the slut wife after he saw her. This husband caught her cheating. I wouldn’t fuck that slut with his dick yet he fucks her after she cheated with three guys. Fuck that!

This is so wrong on so many levels. At the top of the list: this is what happens when a guy allows his little head to rule his life. He couldn't see this coming from the very beginning? Really? Sad news, Pinocchio; you will always be dancing at the end of someone else's strings.

Wholly improbable, but an enjoyable read.

Worth every one of the 5*s.

Thank you.

I also wondered how she found them on that island. And wether she quit or was forced out after the office incident. Her motivation for the office sex was also never explained to the audience which left that unresolved for me.

Overall it was a fun read but left me feeling the story was not really told.

This story had a little of everything and was a gripping read. I was hooked once I started this fine story. Full marks from me and thanks for all of the hard work for us readers!

Allison turning out to be like her sister allowed this story to go anywhere you wanted .

Bursting into his wife's office was the only dramatic highpoint .

Running to Mexico wasn't beyond imagination , but ' escaping ' back into the U.S. started the downhill turn . Battling pirates , Allison turning up on the island ..... and finding that apparently nothing was as bad as he imagined .!!!

Too much fantasy .

You can write way better than this .

Your story worked out well for me. I still wonder how the wife found him in the middle of nowhere though. Thanks for sharing.

But a bit too fanciful to be truly enjoyable.

For an already long story, did we need an article by article description as he got undressed?

"She told me it was because one of her focus groups decided "McMasters" had more gravitas than "Chambers" did." - Why was there a focus group on that in the first place?

"don't even think I'm going to give you money to do that" - Another one of those bitches that thinks that the money she makes is HER money.

"That was because I liked the length of my dick right where it was, and didn't need it shortened by a couple of inches." - Heh, I always mention that when stories have forced blow jobs.

I agree with those who say there was NO way that was her first time.

"So I got a bad case of the stupids" - While the timing wasn't explicit, she was "stupid" for at LEAST months, if not years.

I don't think that the rule about no apostrophe "s" for the possessive on words ending with "s" is hard and fast. I think "RUSS'S" is also correct.

I thought that the whole thing with the tattoo was a cheap shot: "Ooh, look how she suffered, punishing herself."

R-i-i-ght, she NEVER cheated before she decides to have a three-way in her office with a full staff outside, with a woman that she couldn't be sure wouldn't scream?

Sure, a FFM threesome will cure all ills.

Despite what he said, I DO NOT believe that was her first time cheating, which means the whole reconciliation was built on a lie.

Five stars for the story even though I disagree with the ending.

As others have mentioned, no word on how she found them. As I mentioned in my prior comment, we were told every single article of clothing he took off, but couldn't be told that?

I thought the daughters came around WAY to easily, especially considering how easily they ran away from her at the beginning.

A helluva yarn.

The 3 some at the end of the story was kind of silly

Harryin VA

Very good read.... and what a fantastic ending, a three way with the wife and Girlfriend.... boner city!!

The pirates thing was unforeseeable, but taking your anglo kids to a village in Mexico is extremely poor parenting judgment. The murder rate, not to mention human trafficking, in Mexico in general is higher per capita than most of the worst high crime cities in the US. Then to expose them to taking coyotes back to the US. Just life on the run for the daughters when they didn't have to. I don't mean they didn't have to because she never filed (I actually thought she wouldn't), but even if she had filed the kids didn't need to run.

If I had treated my wife poorly for a few years and then she caught me cheating on her I would be terribly contrite and feel ashamed. If she takes my kids and takes them to another country, it would be unforgivable and what I did would not be a justification for that. And to take them to a country like Mexico with everything going on there is ridiculous.

Btw, if you've flown internationally by yourself with your child you'd know that they ask for written documentation that you have the other parent's permission to travel with your child (usually both when flying from here and then leaving the other country). Lots of countries actually require their authorized form to be filled out and signed by your spouse and notarized. US law says a parent cannot take a child to another country without the other parent's consent. If the wife went to the authorities on that it would have been considered kidnapping. Imagine your wife finds a lover and decides to take your kids and just move to another country with your children. Physically it can be done, obviously, but it is illegal.

However, she had acted poorly, he acted poorly, so hopefully the daughters learned from their parents' poor behavior as well as good ones. He kind of had a passive personality. Tricia manipulated him, then Allison, then again Allison and then again Allison. I have no problem them getting back together. Allison had gone of the track, and she found her way back and did all the things to make things right. I have a soft spot for threesomes, so that helped me get over both of them being bad parents for a while.

Gave it a 5. I'm typically generous with my scoring. It was a good adventure story. I just wish you gave a better reason for the daughters to have to go with him, and he was more careful what he exposed them to.

She claims that the time he broke into her office was the first time she was going to cheat. Besides the fact that as I said earlier that a threesome for your first time is HIGHLY unlikely, there is also this from when she confronted him:

"I think I'm entitled to blow off a little steam every now and then; it's one of the fringe benefits of being a successful senior executive, dammit ... and I think Dad is right. It's a thing he needed just to unwind. Mom knew about his ... friends ... and she understood how things are. You're just going to have to get with the program!"

Now, she doesn't say EXPLICITLY that she has "blown off steam" before, but it certainly feels like it!

What is this new world story that is in all the tags?

This does not seem to be a cheating wife story! The comment on ending with threesome with wife and girlfriend gave me a hint.

Is it a cheating wife and btb story?

Great, entertaining read. What a ride this was, thanks for providing it.

A good well written story. Your previous best was “Uncertain Justice”. This also pulls the reader in, and makes you want to know them.

As SBrooks mentions below her later description that she was busted before she ever actually cheated does not jive with earlier actions at the time they occur. Her attitude and statements at the time don’t seem to suggest it’s her first time. Also, what are the odds that her first time would be with two other individuals in her office during the middle of the day, AND just so happen to coincide with the same day he decides to visit the office the office to ask her to lunch to discuss their relationship issues. Additionally, her mind seems to be set prior to walking into the office as she immediately sets the visibility through the glass for privacy and is inside the office only a few minutes before she’s removed her panties. Without this particular description of events I could buy that his law enforcement training coupled with having known her for years allows him to discern that she is telling the truth. However, the actual events as they were do not jive with her explanation later.

I really enjoyed this story otherwise. What’s not to like about it? You’ve got the powerful woman to fit The New World motif, betrayal, Mexican gangsters, pirates, paradise, MFF threesome, and a loving reconciliation.

First Allison is a great enthusiastic wife, then she's a cheating slut, then she's a remorseful martyr, then she's a great wife and mother again. So what makes him think the cycle won't repeat itself?

And the MC is discerning, then he's clueless, he's driven, then he's feckless, he's strong and determined, then he's weak and drifting.

You created your characters with a conflicting array of personality traits and intellectual strength then weakness, that they look like some kid's assemblage of a Mr. Potato Head.

So while it was a great plot idea, it was executed clumsily and tediously. He's a fucking life time cop, but never bothers to check for a warrant or divorce action? He has all these contacts and gets false identities corrected, but hasn't got the concern or intelligence to determine if any of it is needed?

Just too ridiculous to be highly rated, which is a real shame. It had great ingredients, but your proportions and technique are wanting.

@Anonymous 08/22/19 -- You're exactly right; The contrived characters weakened the story.

@kmreader -- Things might be savable here...

She did allude that Tricia and/or Daddy had spied in the Phillips Manufacturing office. Perhaps they were just starting a black mail operation, and Tricia/Daddy were watching real time cameras collecting evidence. Then being busted by hubby could save her in the nick of time from giving Tricia/Daddy a handle to take her (company) down.

I won't buy it, but other readers might. Timing's very tight for this to be "the first and only", not to mention the other coincidences you've pointed out. Another example of the author's need to work on internal story consistency.

@Longhorn__07 -- This story was a very fun read, and I was willing and able to suspend my disbelief the many times I noticed embarrassing points.

Please keep writing!

5*

Actually a great one,

until the bitch came back.

Has any of you readers

known a person coming back

from being really bossy?

I've lived a lot of years

and only known one person who did that.

And that was because of a blood clot.

Cheating or not, this story ended a bit

too Disney-ish for me.

But mostly a great story

and for that gets 4 out of 5 from me.

Well written with some nice twists and turns. But even for a fictional story I found parts to be both improbable and unbelievable. The biggest "unbelievable"? How would Allison EVER have found them? Not even James Bond would have found them. Hell, people hide here in the United States, in plain sight and no one finds them. The next "unbelievable" moment? That he thought Allison was telling him the truth about not filing rape charges and not being divorced. Given where they were in their relationship when he rapes her, there's simply no way in hell she doesn't file charges given her state of mind. And I also found it hard to believe he didn't have enough connections to call back to their home town and find out what was happening. The third "unbelievable"? He takes Allison back and goes back to the States. Who cares about a tattoo? Did anything Allison says ring true with him? She magically quits her job, changes her attitude, involves herself in a threesome, gets a tattoo and everything is alright? Too big a stretch. The fourth "unbelievable"? That he left the island at all. I could understand letting the girls go home with their Mother if he got soft in the head. But given the circumstances and his safety on the island why would he leave? Unless he snuck into France to be with Danielle. The last "unbelievable" was the women going shopping on the island. Shopping for what, exactly? It's a tiny island. They have a hard time getting corn and beef. I can't believe there were a lot of shops to chose from. That being said, this was very well written and highly entertaining. Thanks for the effort.

5 stars

Uberbitch cheating wife, Mexican sex traffickers, and and pirates to battle. Throw in gun toting teen daughters, beautiful French women,.and several other interesting folks and you have a great, action packed story. Just a couple of questions. Why did this high powered executive decide to have a three some in her office? How the heck did she find that island? I wouldn't believe her story about that being her only time though. Seems she learned a lesson, so good ending. Loved it.

Probably not so probable -- maybe even ludicrously improbable.

But that is what helped to make it so entertaining and enjoyable.

Gripping, actually. You don't even want to stop reading for restroom or food.

More than once impressed with Longhorn's wording -- such clever expressions and sometimes humorous. A mark of someone born with ability to tell tales in a captivating way. Thanks for developing that ability and furnishing us the results.

Few attain the benchmark of a ten year Literotica career.

Congratulations on going nearly half again that long.

Paul in Oklahoma

Wunderbar! Full marks ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

It was a good yarn, very good but only a solid 4* due to large plot holes... Allison's estranged parents remained totally aloof not only to Russ/Allison but their two grand-daughters over 15yrs; so much so that they never cared the girls went missing nor the missed holidays/B-days/etc? Not hardly.

Also we are to believe that Allison never had sex while CEO, yet held the attitude it was a proper reward for being CEO - a behavior justification she adopted from her CEO father?

Russ quits being a cop when he was at almost 20yrs and full retirement? [Russ was Sergent when he wrote the speeding ticket (that would have required ~5yrs to achieve), then ~6mo with Tricia, ~8mo with Allison, then his eldest daughter was +15yrs & 11mo since marriage - no he had to have more than 20yrs.]

And we are believe he had NO comrades on that police force in ~20yrs of service? He was selected early for Lt and no one liked/mentored him? Not hardly.

I assume that Danielle was the one who tipped Allison off as to the families location? And Danielle was willing to see Russ go to jail and screw over his daughters (unless she already knew Russ was in the clear) - Russ sure couldn't trust any woman in his life. How the hell did Russ become the Jondee when he was not a citizen of that country? Any background check to establish his qualifications meant he had to use his real name/passport/prior USA PD-rank history.

So once again per this story SEX conquers a fragile male ego (cuck) and he crumbles with no regard to the past years of CEO-wife neglect not just to himself but their daughters AND the utter disrespect she flaunted in his face in changing her last name to McMasters (a family that all but disowned her)? Rather shallow don't ya think!

This story went many places still overall a solid 5. Well written and enjoyable reading time. Still would like to know how Allison found them just for the story of it. As for RAAC, I would say it cost them both a lot of time and effort. Another bit not followed up was Allison’s father / family was part of the story early but not mentioned at the end? Tricia was mentioned but their father or mother was not. I would think the grandparents would be very interested in their granddaughters. Just a few bits of the story that bugged me. Granted those bugs are more filler for the story so don’t take away from the quality just thought they would enhance story. Good characters and story set up with locations and events - well done. Thank you for sharing and participate in the story invitational.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading.

My mind said 5 but I accidentally hit 1. It was a great story but I think my Freudian brain can't accept a RAAC. However if she really didn't have sex before or after the incident I can go with the 5.

9 pages is a little long for me but it turned out to be a good tale. Definitely a 5

It would seem Allison didn't learn anything. She is selfish and manipulative to the end. Russ didn't seem to learn anything either.

I agree with some of the comments: the characters, especially Allison, seemed contrived. I have to assume she is likable at some point, but we never see this.

Why reconcile? Maybe at least display some remorse.

The story seems more than a little unbelievable overall, but it is fiction.

The writing has great humor, character development and decent pace. Was chalk full of some interesting scenes and characters. The Phillipines are north of the equator.

Very nice story, once again. It’s curious that a number of the stories about powerful women have them gain powerful jobs which then corrupt them and lose them their man, and they then have to ditch the job to get him back. Kind of a sad state of affairs, isn’t it? However, it is true that power corrupts in all sorts of ways.

Very much appreciated your work, LH7!

Killian

Interesting story, not sure of this one. Gave it a 5 because of the interesting story line.

From Todd172's taking on the worlds bad guys and thought I'd come back home to San Antonio and my favorite Texas author.

"I pulled the weapon out and then I did what all cops, except those in Broward county, do—I ran toward the trouble." Not going to comment on this line other than to say I did dispatch officers here for years and I do remember an issue or two.

Now if'n you'd let me know they were coming I'd have spent some time showing them the Alamo, The River Walk, some good places to eat and maybe take in a Spurs game though it would have been better if you'd written it before Manu, Tim and Tony retired. Yeah, there is room to debate whether she did or she didn't before, should he have taken the girls to Mexico, reunited with Allison or not, etc. But the bottom line it turned out the way LH wanted, it was a good Texas style romp and damn I enjoyed the hell out of it. Signed: BTW

Just another Pitiful RAAC story!

He just happens to be there on the very day she decides to start fucking around? No, most likely this was the norm he stumbled upon. The question is really how long she had been seeking sexual stress relief in her glass walled office. And how would she have been able to quit when discovered taking sexual advantage of subordinates on company time in the office? Seems like grounds for immediate termination.

Yep, she will, she is too manipulative by half.

Russ is on a hiding to nothing.

I was hesitant to read through nine pages especially since was a relatively low scoring story for the author. Fortunately, I went straight to the last page to find out it was RAAC and not very good at that. It save me from slogging through eight pages only to be disappointed at the end.

I'm guessing the 4.50 score was due to the reputation of the author rather the quality of the work.

The story was good till the wife reappeared, it ruined a very good story. I feel like I wasted my time reading this story and I hate feeling that way.

Good stuff,, i’d have kept the restraints tho. A bit of kink is good spice

Seriously, the twists and turns were engaging and intriguing. However, there was little explanation of the circumstances that led to Russ leaving. I’m fine with reconciliation, but it would help to have some discussion of the split to help the resolution

of a coincidence that he comes into the office on the first day she decides to kill some time relieving stress with some no strings attached sex. Noooo, this whore had been doing this for a while. I don't think I would ever trust her and therefore could never get back with her. Danielle seems a perfect replacement. They've been in a life and death situation together aaannnnnndddddddd she brings other women to his bed. It just doesn't get any better than that!!!

Until you put the three of them in bed together. I quit reading at that point. Then it became terrible. What a great ay to ruin a perfectly good story.

Name change! Focus group. why didn't he raise the roof

As others and as others how did she find them?

3 stars

So long and leave things unanswered

I'm always amazed that there are so many ways to tell a story. At any point in the narrative the story can take off on a different tangent to a completely different destination. I love that you put the girls in dangerous situations that they were able to handle. Good on ya!

9 pages for this? What a shame.

South Pacific pirates? Double tap on two armed guys? As fast as it is, it is safer, especially as close as they were, to center mass shoot one, then double tap the second. Then go back to a head shot on first guy. Especially with a high impact round like a .45 ACP. Given that Hubby did not know if there were more than three kitty-nappers, one head shot to each, then verify ... saving more rounds for unknown trolls. Picking the 2x4 back up and whacking two valve stems off on his near side would save two more .45 rounds with little time loss.

4*. Overall a good tale, but too many stretches of We-The-Readers’ credulity. Then abrogation of author duty to WTRs on gypsy hubby-finder.

He went through all that to end up back with the bitch, let’s hope he doesn’t apply for Mensa.

I blame you for my loss of sleep. I started this too late to finish by bedtime and couldn't put it down. There are some fuzzy or missing explanations, but the overall effect is great. One of the best I've read. 5*

So in the end he was just another cuck

disapointing

I stopped at the rape scene. A police chief raping his wife.

How.

Fucking.

Quaint.

" by lujon2019

11/23/20

So in the end he was just another cuck

disapointing "..............

I agree lujon. He was a blind stupid cuck, needs to give his 'nuts', (or whatever is still in his nut sack' ) to medical research, or a crummy ass 'greasy spoon' for cooking. He certainly has no sue for them with his 'WIFE' ??

He should have followed Danielle to France...

Both of them make amazingly boneheaded decisions for people who otherwise seem to be reasonably smart. Her being blasé about recreational sex when caught before trying it the first time seems odd. If she was already doing it on the regular, I can see her reacting like that, but if it was the first time, I'd expect some shame and guilt at being caught in that situation. Less said about him raping her, the better. Went interesting places from there, though.

Always 1* for RAAC .

Weak cuckolds love taking other men's leftovers .

I thought it was a good story; a reasonable amount of action and original themes. Not everybody needs to be thrown under the bus. Sometimes, common sense, strong love and an intense desire to make corrections in one's life, are redeeming factors.

Good story. 5*s.

I have read all of your stories. This started out beautifully. Till they went to Mexico. Then it got stupid. "A tramp steamer in the south pacific with good wifi to get on the internet?????" Wifi has a range of 300-400 FEET!! You meant Sat phone. But they aren't normally on tramp steamers. Really stupid.

You're a much better writer than this.

I do NOT have a problem with Reconciliation. Lazy Lemon Sun was brilliant. Fool me once was totally awsome. This was stupid, and very poorly thought out. You're a much better writer than this

Again. This was one hell of an epic LW story. I always like a little bloodshed with my porn, so this was great. Even with a RAAC ending, it was good.

Should be a major motion picture!!!

and ugly characters. ALL of them.

Liked the story and the characters and the situations that they found themselves in along the way. I would have liked to have known how his wife found him since he did a good job of erasing his footprint. Please ignore those who make unfounded comments anonymously.

Pussytale of wimpy, cuckold, coward huband succumbed to his slut wife's trap again

Nothing entertaining...

Just for shaggers handjob

Excellent. Reconciliation? Yes. At all cost? No.

To those sad small-dicked commentators who want mayhem and death on any woman who even considers stepping out: I pity you.

You had an excellent story going there, until you turned it into just another pathetic RAAC story.

The only thing I can say is that this story was a stupid POS. I could not get through the first 5 pages. Idiotic piece of crap.

Still unconvinced she didn´t fuck around on him

because it is not clear (for me) if she either lies or really was bodily faithfull I can not relate to the RAAC...

Other than that it is well written

Well written. Trust would never come back completely. She cheated emotionally if not physically. Hate RAAC

Good story enjoyed the read. It's really pathetic that a lot of commentators think that this is a real life story and make comments on that basis. What is really scary is that these commentators can vote and make important decisions about life. I sincerely hope that none of them are married or have children gods knows what sort of lives they have.

The ending was vile

Good story. Really enjoyed the read. Thank-you

Threesome endings in a more-or-less realistic LW story are a cop-out. They are such a wish-fulfillment fantasy, that they throw me right out of the fictional world. If you're going wish-fulfillment, why nor go all the way and have the MC end up living in a mansion with three supermodels? It just cheapens your story.

.

Plus, getting off on watching your wife, the mother of your children, having sex with another person, of whatever gender, is pure cuck.

I hate the negative comments. It's a great story using lots of imagination.

Up until Allison finding them on the island, tne story rocked.

##

But the unreal BS between and among Russ and tne 2 women that went on for months just degraded the story big time. Dragged it down to a weak 3 ***

zerozerozero, yea me again

really half was a five, half was a zero.

That comes out to a zero average.

5 stars and faved. Honestly for once I wish this was a longer story, I felt Allison finding them and then the reconciliation was too fast. They traveled to the ends of the Earth to escape her, I wouldn't expect him to take her back so easily even with his daughters on her side which itself was odd with how willing they were to abandon Allison. Showing some more of her mindset, showing her really being regretful, and more time passing between her showing up and them boning maybe have made it better a bit. Still, minor complaints that are just me nitpicking an enjoyable story.

The way Alison came back into the story took away a lot of its flow.... up until then it had a good reading flow.

Not THAT she came back (RAAC or BTB or whatever is the writer's choice - only the presentation matters) but HOW she came back.... And the speed and way of reconciliation....Too direct and too matter-of-fact too.... clean (and honestly the tattoo was totally meaningless, she took the vow and it didn't stop her, so how is that (painful or not) splotch of paint going to make a difference) ?

Also his behaviour is a bit unbelievable here, after her family history and behaviour in the first 2 pages (then again, I didn't read the story stretche over several years so my memory banks processed the scenes differently than the MC in "real life".... but still)

Otherwise an good read as usual

The Alison reunion is simply too forced. Like many of your endings...you force a happily ever after conventional ending....that is really not well supported from the logic flow of the story. Your last 4 pages show Alison as a heartless self absorbed wicked witch...who is totally self focused and who has dumped her family in favor of corporate power and prestige. The protagonist rightly leaves the wicked witch and spends 3 years hiding..,,, finally with Danielle. The whole story line supports a happy ever after ending with the protagonist marrying Danielle.... but we have an almost Shakespearian Deus Ex Machina intervention of Alison...into the Protagonist's office... and GASP Alison has in classic Deus Ex Machina style undergone a complete and frankly un-explicated transformation from the wicked witch into June Cleaver.... The truncated and frankly unbelievable explanations provided to support this total transformation...are simply lame...and create the sad ambivalence of most readers for the story conclusion. Simply put...there is no logic supporting the conclusion...and frankly, you as an author could have better focused making your statements using the Danielle character as the final love and marriage interest.

But after all it's your story... But please in future work...try to avoid poorly supported trick endings like this....you are a very good writer....and your burgeoning expertise as that writer can benefit from increasing your focus upon tightening the logical trains in the pages proceeding your surprise endings.... This one REALLY would have benefited by some good foreshadowing starting about page 8.