The Darkness Ch. 09

All characters are over 18 years of age. Until now there had not been any sex in this story. In my realm vampires are not dead nor are they undead. They are descendants of men cursed and tossed out of 'life' by the Egyptian Gods. I posted this story under nonhuman because it contains vampires, wolfin, and mages. While the previous chapter were non erotic I feel they are also not human, so posting in nonhuman seemed correct.

Let me clarify some confusion. The story is being read by Jessica who has received a journal explaining a mystery that involves her oldest friend. The entries are followed by Yada's flashbacks to events she noted in the journal. Noah is a wolfin in Yada's past and a regret she has carried for years. If I have not made it clear I apologize. Yada does not give into her desires when it comes to sex due to her involment with Gabriel. Until now.

Also the story centers around SouthWest Georgia. Albany, Georgia mostly, but there is mention of Atlanta where she visited in an entry and Panama City locations which are driveable within four hours of Albany. Sitting on the River bank refers to the Flint River, which runs through Albany, Georgia.

As always please vote and leave a comment. I can handle criticism and questioning of my writing abilities. I am not an expert editor and grammar is an issue. (I admit it.) I tend to 'free' write on an iPhone in google doc. So my screen is tiny and editing at my age with trifocals gets hard. Yes, I am almost sixty years old. Please leave your comments and send me questions. I am happy to read them and respond.

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August 28

Until last night, I had never realized my world was a fragile globe. I was the small figurine inside and looked through the glass at a world that seemed fantasy. The problem with fantasy is that it often turns into a nightmare without warning. My world is now a dark place. I know I have lived in the dark before, but this time it's different.

Gabriel and I have an understanding we didn't before. He believes I have betrayed him. I must now prove to him I did not. It's a hard slippery slope I must climb alone. Even with Alek at my side, I am scared that my time has come to an end.

September 1

I've spent the last year traveling with Alek, searching for answers to questions that didn't make any sense. We are chasing ghosts. But all the time spent with Alek has led to a kinship with him. He is the closest thing to a friend I have. Actually he has been my only friend. He has been teaching me as we go. I've learned to trust his judgment. Trust is earned, and I have finally earned it.

I think Alek has made it a mission to save me from Gabriel's wrath. He protects me from the beatings as often as he can. He redirects Gabriel's focus elsewhere to give me a night of peace. I don't know why he saves me, he just does. There's something unsaid between Alek and Gabe. I get the impression there is something deeper between them. I searched the blood memories and still I'm puzzled.

Alek was born into this world over nine hundred years ago. He's been teaching me philosophy among other things. I wasn't sure why until I discovered he was once a priest. It's kind of funny when you think about the two us --A former priest and a street rat working for one goal. I sometimes feel like asking for his forgiveness then I catch the thinking in this destructive pattern. If I feel the need to ask forgiveness, then it proves I am still human. The last thing I want is for Alek to think of me as human.

January 1

Gabriel has finally allowed me in his presence without wanting my blood. He had me accompany him to an Elder's meeting in New York. I believe he allowed me back because of the meeting. How would it look for him not to have his house in order? All the players were there, including Markus. I had not spoken to Markus since that fateful night. He tried to get me alone without Gabriel's ever watchful eye, but I couldn't risk a secret meeting between us. I wasn't ready to harm the temporary peace between us.

As we were leaving the meeting Alek suggested I take the rest of the night off and explore the city. I protested at first, thinking it was a trap set by Gabriel. But it had been years since I did anything but hunt and kill. The thought of being an actual human again was tempting and I caved in. I ended up in a nightclub. Markus was there. I should have left, but I am only human after all.

The music invaded Yada's mind as the whiskey sedated her pain. She could drink large quantities of alcohol and still be sober; it was only after a dozen shots of Crown did she feel the buzz. With a mellow disposition she sat in a corner booth watching the lights of the techno show. She reached for her cigarettes when a lighter was handed to her. Following the arm, she recognized Markus.

"Are you following me?" She asked. She noticed his shirt was un-tucked, and his normally perfect hair was a mess. He also wore Eternity for men. She would know that scent anywhere. It was her favorite men's cologne. She could get lost with Markus, and that was a dangerous thought.

"No." he paused. "Ok, maybe a little." He finally answered sitting across from her. Markus extended his arm across the back of the booth and inventoried Yada. A slight smile perched on his lips as he pocketed the lighter.

She downed the shot in front of her and looked to the door. "You shouldn't be here, but then again neither should I. So why are you following me?"Why here and now? Yada continued to watch the men and women on the dance floor for a few more seconds before catching his eyes.

"Because we need to talk," he plainly said.

"So go ahead and talk," she nodded to a passing waitress for another drink. "Or is this to public a place?" She shouldn't be talking to him. Gabriel still had not forgiven her. It had been years since the dagger had been stolen.

"No, it's fine, we can talk here." He glanced over his shoulder to the dance floor. "They really have no idea," he used his nose to accent the mortals behind him. "Do they?"

"You sound like someone else tonight Markus." She leaned back in the booth and laid a hand over the edge, mimicking him. "Do they know? Probably not, but if they did, do you think you and I could sit here and be safe?"

"Probably not," he finally said. He sighed and clasped his hands in front of him tapping his fingers together.

The waitress set three shots in front of Yada. She winked at Markus before leaving. Markus watched her swaying hips before looking to Yada. "What a waste," he mumbled.

"Why do you say waste? She is every bit as alive as can be. She's pretty, skinny, has great tits, and I would say fuckable, but she isn't my type."

That answer caught his attention. "What is your type?" He curiously asked. Clearly whatever he was going to talk about had shifted.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" She sounded distracted.

"Indulge me for a minute." He urged.

"You are going to get me killed. You know I do not have attraction for anyone or anything but death." She closed her eyes. His scent was strong. It reminded her she was alive. It reminded her of that first night on the beach. Her mind wandered to that night.

Flash back

She closed her eyes tight, seeing Markus in her thoughts. They were on the beach in South Florida. The tide was coming in and the moon was full and half hiding behind a thick cloud. She was standing in the shallow waves, barefoot, the length of her dress held in one hand as she considered him.

She was still new to Gabriel's world and unsure of her purpose in his life. She noticed when Michael walked in and a mystery man in tow. Gabe had informed her that he was Markus, and that he belonged to another House and she should use caution in dealing with him.

When the man approached her on the beach, she was hesitant to speak to him, but she gave in to curiosity. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Perhaps," he replied, stepping to her side.

She noticed his shoes were off and his pants rolled. He was wiggling his toes in the wave as it greeted them. A slight smile gave away that she was watching.

"'Perhaps' is a rather large blank area. I'm Yada." She closed her eyes as the evening breeze caressed her face.

"I know." He offered as he extended his arms fully to his sides. The breeze seemed to respond and gave relief to the humidity. "Michael told me who you were. I'm Markus. Markus Smith in the mortal world. I can't help but notice you are new to all of this. I just wanted you to know you are not alone."

Yada caught his cologne in the breeze. Eternity. This man was going to be the sudden death of her.

End Flashback

"Fine. Sex and attraction, you want to know my type?" she thought about the question for a moment. "I don't know. I was eighteen the last time I freely acted on my impulses. He was everything I wanted." She closed her eyes remembering Noah. "He loved me and I," she paused, taking a shot. "I think I loved him. But he wasn't anything like us, he was a wolfin." Pushing his eyes from her memory she drank another shot.

"You didn't answer the question." Markus lit a cigarette. "Why are you avoiding the simple question?"

"Why are you so curious?" Yada scowled. This was not how her evening was supposed to go.

He asked again. "Why are you avoiding the question?"

"Don't play word games with me, Markus. You and I both know it's beneath us. Do you really want to know the answer? I love one person and one person only. I have no choice but to love him. You understand this more than anyone else. You are under the same bond I am. But if I could choose for myself, I would choose someone like you or perhaps Alek. Now that I have said this, what do you want?"

"What I want can wait a moment. I'm shocked by your answer. Whatever happened to the person who told me to get over the fact you are a beautiful woman?" He leaned closer rather interested in the answer.

Only you have ever called me beautiful. Yada struggled with her emotions. She always kept them so close, but he seemed to find the cracks in her armor and pull them free. "She is still here, buried under years of hate and disillusion." Gazing into his deep brown eyes she became lost for a moment, reminded of a dream and a voice. But in their world a moment was too long. "This is a casual conversation, nothing more. You asked, I answered. Now it is getting late and I need to get back to the coven, so if you don't mind, ask your damn question so I can leave." She grew angrier by the second not knowing why.

"Actually, why don't we dance?" He didn't leave her time to protest. He had her in his arms and on the dance floor. Their bodies moved as one in contrast to the fast music. Their slow even pace brought attention from the crowd. It wasn't until Markus lifted her above his head, letting her body slide against his, and held her lips a breath away, did she finally pull away.

"I think it's time for us to go." Markus said, spotting Alek moving across the floor. Markus quickly kissed her hard and fast. His arms held her from pulling free, and when she was done fighting the kiss and opened her mouth to his, he slowly backed away. His expression changed as he looked over her shoulder. Alek was a few feet away. He could tell Alek's hand was on the handle of the katana hidden under his coat. "Until next time Yada," he whispered, walking past Alek, shouldering him hard.

"Yada, what the hell are you doing?" Alek demanded. He felt an odd pang growing inside-- jealousy. He never knew this sensation before. It was rather an interesting oddity.

"I was just leaving." She took several steps away before looking back to Alek. He was her friend and most likely the only person who would defend her if Gabriel got notice of what happened. "I don't know what I am doing anymore."

Alek wrapped his arms around her and gently petted her hair. "Come on; let's get you home before someone else sees you." Alek was watching the door as Markus left. "Do you want to go to the coven or somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else, I can't handle seeinghim right now." Seeing Gabriel was the last thing on her mind. She didn't think she could handle his questioning. She wouldn't be able to hide what happened from his eyes.

"I know just where to go." He shielded her as they left the club and walked her to a parking garage. She sat in the front of a BMW and watched as the city slowly passed. The entire ride was in silence. An awkward silence.

"Where are we?" I know this place. The thought leaped to the front of her distorted mind. Why did she know it?

"This is my building. We will be safe here," he commented. "Gabriel gave it to me about twenty years ago. I use it as a safe haven from time to time." Escorting her from the elevator, he led her to an unmarked door.

Each step she took she felt the weight of the evening crashing down on her shoulders. Why did it hurt so much? Was it the kiss? Or was it the fact Alek saw the kiss? Dropping her leather coat over a chair she faced him. "Alek, I know what it looked like at the club, but it wasn't and isn't what you think."

"What do you think I think?" He locked the door and laid his coat over hers.

"I don't know. But if it had been Gabe behind me when Markus kissed me I'd be dead right now." She began to remove her weapons. Laying the double shoulder holster on the seat, she un-strapped her boots.

"True," he nodded. "I did see him kiss you, not you kiss him. But Yada I was there longer than you know. You let the alcohol interfere with everything I have taught you. I heard everything you said."

She blew a deep breath out and touched her left eye as though regretting anything he may have heard. Walking to a large window, she lit a cigarette. Running her hand threw her hair, she sucked air through her teeth. "I was trying to get drunk." She finally said.

"Why do you want to get drunk?" He stepped closer.

Looking him in the eye, she continued. "To kill the pain and memories," she leaned against the cool glass. "I was seventeen years old when I met Gabriel for the first time. But you already knew that. Two days before meeting him, I was in the care and custody of a man named Noah. He is a wolfin and had hoped to claim me as his mate. Wolfin's mate for life, so you see..." She paused long enough to draw from the cigarette. "I am currently thirty-five years old. I look like a teenager and kill like a robot. The closest thing I have to a friend in the mortal world is Jess and I can't even approach her without putting her in danger."

Alek filled two glasses with whiskey and handed her one.

"Thanks," she mumbled, looking out the window as the golden glow of dawn started. "I guess I have been thinking about the last twenty years and the sacrifices that have been made." Yada relaxed. Talking to Alek was easy. "I have nothing left." She turned from the window. "For you, un-life will go on no matter who is running the city, or so you hope. It concerns me that everything I have seen and done may be for nothing." She found an ashtray and crushed the cigarette.

"Do you remember that night we found the Council slaughtered?"

"Of course I do. I think about it from time to time. We never did find out the whole story."

"Before I left, I was watching a Bauhdand. For a moment I could have sworn there was something I was supposed to remember. It is almost like something messed with my mind." She shrugged. "I've been haunted by a feeling recently that I need to remember something."

"Interesting...I wonder if that was intentional or simply your imagination..." He was quiet for a few minutes. He knew of some older vampires, including himself who could erase a thought and plant a new one. But why that night?

"I don't know anymore," she offered. "Do you ever just get the feeling something is missing?"

"Something is always missing. The only thing that changes is how important it is." That thought quieted him. He reflected on his own changes.

The ticking of the wall clock lulled her mind. The pain she was feeling slipped away and a new realization flooded her senses. "When did you know you could never fit into mortal society? I mean...when did it change for you?"

"I never felt like I didn't belong in mortal society...at least while I was mortal. I knew for some time I did not belong with the Church and in truth, I was not with the Church for many years, merely in the employ of one who wrapped himself in the fantasies, using the cloth as a shield from justice."

"I see," Yada removed her belt and tossed it on the floor near the chair. "You and I aren't so different then."

Staring at the wall for several minutes in silence she tried to picture Alek as he was before. "We are both creatures of our own misgiving, punished by our choices and defined by our beliefs. You were in the employ of the greatest corruption this planet has ever known, the Roman Catholic Church, and I...I but a simple servant of death. We are both damned by our virtue and punished by our conviction."

"Poetic. But I would argue that the Church and its members are two very different groups. The ideals espoused by the teachings are to be followed. The real corruption lies in the people, even to the highest ranks, they see themselves above the word of their own God."

He turned back to the large window dominating one wall. "I stopped caring about such things for myself long ago, but I can't help feeling disgust every time I see on the news about some priest somewhere molesting children and the Vatican sheltering the deviant. Vampire's may be monsters, Yada, but truly the worst monster is humanity itself. Even with your exceedingly short lives, your kind feels the need to sow misery and despair between your peers and those you see as below you."

"Is the wolf a monster simply because it preys on the hare? Certainly not. Just as we are not monsters simply because we prey on humans. Oh don't bother reminding me there are other reasons. But in all honesty, can you say in all seriousness, that the mortals who do not know of us, fear the idea of us for any other reason than that they are the cattle?"

Yada digested his words before opening her mouth to say something, but no words came free. She reached for a cigarette but didn't light it. She tapped it between her fingers, rolling it from long end over long end.

"The church and its members are much like we are. Parents protecting their children from the monsters of this society, yet the parents are the true monsters."

"Do I fear you? No! I'm more of a killer than most. My humanity and my love of humanity died that night. What is there left?" She looked over to him and narrowed her eyes. "The wolf is not a monster, nor are we. We are hunters preying on the weak. You and I are no different. We both prey on the blood of others. I'm more the killer than the wolf, and humanity is but cattle herded in their small shelters hiding away from day to day, allowing emotions to subjugate them into a daily dredge."

He smiled slightly. "You are right not to fear me. At least in part. But there is a monster inside of me. Inside of all the Vampires. Only true-death will put a stop to that. For good or ill, only death or damnation will silence the war between whom we wish to be, and the Beast within."

Turning to look at her he showed much more emotion in his eyes than he normally did. "I and many others may not be monsters, Yada but never doubt that we may become such without eternal vigilance against the Beast. Do not take that lightly. There are consequences beyond what you can know, beyond which you will believe, until you become such as I."

"Monsters, yes I agree. I remember seeing them on many occasions and I have felt the sting of their beast. I don't fear you, for my own reasons, but I have seen the beast and what the beast can offer." She grew darker and deeper in thought.