All Comments on 'The Devil in Her Eyes Ch. 06'

Excellent!

I’m still giving you five stars because I adore this series but I gotta say, there were a LOT of writing gaffs that really hurt while reading this. Especially having all those speaking line smooshed together. A lot of times I LEGIT couldn’t tell who the fuck was supposed to be talking and had to guess. You gotta put separate talkers on their own line man. A few other smaller issues were like when you quoted stuff inside speech lines. You really should have used single quote marks instead of adding more double quote mark (can’t remember the technical terms off the top of my head).

Like I said, your story and characters are great (though I do feel that you probably should’ve stretched out your whole Lucy betrayed arc of this chapter out a bit more. It felt a bit too rushed). I’m looking forward to more from you but you gotta be careful about your spacing and setup, especially for characters talking.

Looking forward to lots more,

Leoric and Asylla at Khanduras

...tell me there is more coming. This is an amazingly written piece of art. You can feel the characters emotions as if they were your own...the fight near the end and its aftermath literally brought me to tears. Please continue this!!

Hey guys and gals! I'm so sorry about the formatting issues with this chapter. I have no idea what that was about. I am pleased to report that this story is not dead; life got in the way. But I'm back and will be updating regularly again. Chapter Seven is front and center on my agenda; I've also decided to lengthen the chapters considerably, around ten or fifteen thousand words per, so it may take me a bit, but I'm going to see this thing through to the end! Stay tuned and stand by. Thanks for reading!

ALLLRIGHT!!! I was looking for another story to read and I found it! I'll read this one again so that it will be fresh when I read your new chapters.

Nice reference to Crossbreed Holsters! Good kit.

Another good shootemup!

The only downside I’ve seen is when you have multiple people talking in the same paragraph.