The Devil Needs a Blowjob

Running hell is hard work, and every now and then, even I need a blowjob. Lust is my domain, after all. But I don't want just any blowjob. It needs to be worthy of the underworld king.

I sit on my throne in the Royal Chamber of Pain and Misery™. Black brimstone dominates the space, creating an enchanting contrast against the vibrant red accents sprinkled. It's an aesthetic.

A luxurious deep crimson carpet, woven with ornate patterns and intricate motifs, spreads like a rich sea on the vast floor. There's also a fold in it that I can never flatten, and it's frustrating because it stands out.

Massive curtains drape over the windows, their velvet fabric a luscious red that complements the brimstone perfectly, but they're a pain in the ass to open and close.

The walls are polished to a lustrous sheen, reflecting the soft glow of candlelight and casting an almost ethereal aura upon the room. This is because I have servants who scrub them for eternity. It's convenient.

The ceiling is high, with intricate molding and detailed plasterwork like Victorian architecture, which I allegedly stole. Allegedly.

Chandeliers hang from the ceiling, their crystal prisms refracting light into a dazzling display of colors across the walls. They were cool because they reminded me of kaleidoscopes.

Framed portraits of random people line the walls, gazing down upon me with eyes full of paint. Each frame is a work of art, intricately carved and gilded, showcasing my expensive habits.

This place is fancy and makes me feel important.

I appear as a handsome man with red skin, long curled horns, and a black three-piece suit. Look good, feel good, as some say. Speaking of feeling good...

I press a button on a table beside me, and a loud beep sounds like an elevator ding.

"Hello my eternally damned, how are we all doing this fine eternity? Suffering? Excellent, that's what I like to hear. I'll cut to the chase. I want a blowjob, so If you think you got what it takes to satisfy me, then please make your way to the entrance of the Royal Chamber of Pain and Misery™. Form a line and one of my subjects will send you in one at a time. Thank you for your servitude."

I wait a few minutes, and a frail goblin limps into the chamber and speaks from the middle of the room. "My lord, the participants are here."

"Perfect, send the first one in."

"Yes, my lord." He hobbles off.

*Okay, let's get this show on the road. How should I sit?*

For the first pose, I lean forward with my hands clasped.

*Nah, too serious.*

Next, I put my left leg on my right with my arms behind my head.

*Nah, too relaxed.*

Footsteps alert me to someone about to enter.

*Fuck it, let's go with the classic.*

I keep my leg on my knee, elbow on the armrest, and head on my hand.

*Perfect.*

A woman with blue skin and short horns walks to the base of the stairs leading to the throne and kneels. She's wearing a thin fabric, barely covering her nipples and pussy.

*Classy.*

I can tell she's a succubus by her smell. Lust oozes from every pour in her flawless body. Of course, this whore is the first in line. She probably arrived as soon as I said "blow."

She's objectively sexy like every succubus: slim waist, wide hips, and large breasts. Succubi's appearances don't count for much, considering they can mold it into whatever they need to please their victims. What they can't change is what's underneath.

Also, succubi aren't robots. They like sex too, and each has preferences that get them off. They're like masseuses. They'll massage anybody because it's their job, but they're more eager to rub a nice ass.

I'm interested to see how she reacts to less-than-impressive equipment. After all, giving a good blowjob begins with the correct mindset.

"Hello, succubus," I say flatly.

"Hello, my lord. I am ready to service you."

"I'm sure you are. Alright, let's get this over with."

I snap my fingers, and my pants vanish, revealing a below-average soft cock resting on my thigh. I peer inside the succubus' thoughts, and the first words I hear are, "That's it? Seriously? Damn, this sucks."

Despite her inner monologue, her smile remains as she starts up the steps.

I hold up a hand, and she pauses.

"You fucked up already," I say.

Her face morphs into confusion. "My lord?"

"If you're disappointed with the size, then you're already in the wrong headspace for a blowjob," I say matter-of-factly.

"My lord, I am not disappointed. I'm honored. To pleasure the king of Hell is--"

"Blah, blah, blah--I read your thoughts dumbass. Are you really stupid enough to think you can lie to me--the Lord of Lies?"

Her mouth hangs open as she tries to find a bullshit explanation.

"The fastest way to kill sex drive is shame. Someone in your line of work should know that. Granted, your victims usually can't read your thoughts, but you knew who you were coming to blow sweetheart."

"I apologize, my lord. If you would allow me--"

"Nah, you killed the mood. Goodbye."

I wave my hand, and she disappears.

"Bring the next one in!" I yell.

A few seconds later, a large she-demon walks in with long straight horns, six arms, and a muscular frame. She is also bald with satanic tattoos on her head.

She reaches the bottom of the steps and lowers her head.

"Your lordship, I--" she begins in a deep voice.

"Yeah yeah yeah, it's your pleasure. Come here."

"Oh, of course." She climbs the steps and stands in front of me. She's at least eight feet; my current form is only six.

"Shall we begin?" she asks.

"Break a leg," I say.

She snatches my dick with a hand and rips it off. "Your lordship!" she screams. "I deeply apologize. I only meant to stroke it."

"You know, when I said 'break a leg,' this isn't what I meant."

"My lord, please grant me forgiveness. I can rectify this." She pushes it against my groin like a plug into a fucking outlet. It doesn't reattach, but she's determined.

"Okay, stop, stop, just stop." I slap her hand away. "Tell you what, I'm gonna send you to the rapist departments. Go to the male sections and practice on those guys. I'm sure they'll love you."

"I understand your lordship. You have my eternal gratitude."

She bows as I wave my hand and make her disappear. I grow another one and sigh, rubbing my temples.

*We can't even get past step one. Are you kidding me?*

I go through about one-hundred-fifty beings of all different shapes and sizes. Monsters, demi-monsters, lost souls, damned souls, souls souls, and even those disgusting people who drink orange juice from the container and put it back in the fridge.

*I gotta meeting soon; time to wrap this up.*

I speak to the decrepit goblin who's been sending everyone in. "Make the next one the last, and send everyone else back to their eternal torment, please."

"Yes, my lord." He lurches away.

I glance down at my manhood littered with teeth marks, burns, and slime. I tear it off and burn it in my palm.

*I haven't gotten hard once, let alone cum. This is sad. Can no one in hell give a decent blowjob? Is that too much to ask?*

As the last participant enters, I sigh and form a new one between my legs.

She's a tiefling with purple skin and a good physique. She's wearing black high-waisted pants and an open blouse that shows her chest and breasts. The lappels of the shirt cover her nipples, and she's tucked the rest in her pants. She has long and curly wine-red hair and twisted horns adorned with silver jewelry that matches her rings and necklace.

Her black heels clack as she approaches the base of the steps, and a thin tail with a pointed tip swings behind her. Her stride is purposeful and confident while also maintaining a feminine allure.

"Hello, my lord," she says with a voice like honey.

I sit up in my seat. "Hello, Indeed. You look exceptional."

She smiles. "You're too kind. You look dapper yourself."

"Thank you. A suit without pants isn't my usual outfit, but it fits the occasion."

She giggles, and it's genuine. I can't sense a façade.

"Well, let's get this show on the road. You're the last because I'm getting bored. Don't disappoint me."

"I'm honored," she says with a twinge of sarcasm.

I motion for her to come up, and she does.

"I gotta say," I begin, "You seem pretty put together. What made a lady like you want to give me a blowjob?"

"Because I'm horny, and I enjoy giving blowjobs."

"Straight forward; I like it."

I get into a relaxed position and say, "Good luck."

"Thank you."

She cups my cheeks and kisses me.

She is the only one who didn't go straight for my cock. This blowjob is already the best, and I'm excited to see where this goes.

The tiefling wraps her arms around my neck as she sits on my lap. Her soft lips are like clouds, and her sweet fragrance washes over me like a breeze. She grabs my hands and guides them to her ass. I respond by squishing it, feeling the fat push between my fingers while she snakes her tongue in my mouth.

My hands explore her body from her hips to her legs and back. My dick hardens as she grinds it, and her tongue stretches and slithers into my throat--a welcomed surprise.

She trails her lips from my neck to my collarbone and grinds harder, her hips maintaining a steady and smooth motion. I can feel the heat from her pussy, and soon she's moaning like crazy. Her breath feels like the fires of hell on my neck.

The woman clenches me tighter as her legs shake and her body convulses. There are a few seconds of silence as she catches her breath and comes down from her high.

"You gotta lot of nerve cumming first," I say.

"You liked watching me cum." She smirks.

"What makes you say that?"

She gets off and crouches between my legs, gesturing towards my erection. "Exhibit A," she says smugly.

I can't help but smile. "Congratulations, you're the only one that got me hard."

"We're just getting started."

She nibbles my inner thighs, only blowing on my cock and balls with her breath.

The vixen stands and shoulders off her blouse, freeing her breasts. Then she eases off her pants and brings them down to her ankles before kicking them aside. She has a trimmed bush, which I appreciate. I was never a baby-smooth person.

She lowers back down and massages my scrotum.

"Does that feel good?" She asks in a nurturing voice.

"Very much so."

She kneads my testicles in a rhythmic motion while using her other hand to stroke my length. I shudder as I run my fingers through her hair, earning a satisfied look from her.

She picks up the pace, and I'm getting close. She takes her hand away as I'm about to burst, making me grunt with want.

She repeats this multiple times, earning a few frustrated grunts from me.

"Who's the real devil here?" I say.

"Good question," she says and licks my shaft.

Her soft lips against my skin feel like pillows. She sucks on me from the base to the tip. She does this a few times before nuzzling it. I feel myself coming close, but she stops and pulls back again.

"Oh no you don't," I say.

I grab her horns and force her lips on the tip.

"That's enough of that. It's time." I say.

"All you had to do was ask," she says, engulfing me in her throat.

Her throat is like a warm embrace, welcoming me home. The built-up saliva lets me slide right in, and when she gets to my base, she extends her tongue and lathers my balls in spit.

The force builds to a climax, and I explode. She swallows everything, and I remain in her until I finish. She tenderly withdraws and holds eye contact while cleaning it with her mouth. I lie back as she fondles my shaft.

"By the way," she says. "I also came for something else."

"Oh? what's that?"

"A job. Would you like an assistant?"

"I'd consider it. How good are you at multitasking?"

"I'm pretty good at it."

"Can you fill out a report and give a blowjob at the same time?"

"Only one way to find out."

"You're hired."

She laughs. "Thanks for your careful consideration."

"Was that sarcasm I detected?"

"No, of course not."

"Well, your first assignment as my new assistant is to clean yourself up and join me at the gates of hell. I have a meeting with God at purgatory."

"Yes, sir."

--Fin

Epilogue

*Meanwhile, in the purgatory meeting room...*

I'm sitting at a board table with a few angels and God's son, Jesus. My new assistant, whose name I still don't know, sits beside me with files in front of her.

I tap my finger on the table and ask Jesus, "Where the hell is your old man?"

He shrugs. "I do not know. He is very busy, so it is not unusual for him to be late."

"Late? He's God! What the fuck can he possibly being doing?"

"My father has many projects to attend to. Any number of them could could be the cause of his delay."

I pinch my nose and lower my head. "Jesus..." I mumble.

"Yes?"

"Not you!"

**Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read my story! If you enjoyed it, please leave a rating and comment. I'm eager to learn and improve. Happy reading!**