All Comments on 'The Devil's Bargain Ch. 07'

It might just be me, but calling multiple people "mom" is getting confusing. Maybe Dan's mom should be "mom" and Connie's mom should go by her first name. Otherwise loving the series!

I appreciate the references to Heinlein - I grew up reading his stories. I also appricate that you acknowledged "starship troopers," the movie, and how often he is misunderstood and maligned because because it.

Now. That being said... "Stranger in a Strange Land," despite how my fellow English teachers love it, is *far* from what should be used to introduce his works - and if he were around today to be associated with modern 'libertarians,' he just might punch you.

All told, he was a pretty liberal free-thinker, given the culture which he grew up in. He also supported a number of female science fiction authors behind the scenes, in a time when they were definitely looks down upon.

'They say that the flowers bloom in May.' That's first class poetry, and excellent foreshadowing. I hope you publish stories non-Literotica readers might read, too. In fact, you could take all the sex out of these stories, and they would be just as good. Perhaps you should consider it, if for no other reason to reach a wider audience.

Now Lisa's crush truly manifests. Oh boy! It interests me to see how you slow-roll this--especially because there is NO magic involved--and it doesn't seem Lisa's jealous (if at all); her mom's on board with it (well, so far), although it unhinged Aarti (I must confess that it felt too abrupt, at least without having some more input from Geetha and from the "uncle"). I didn't think the parents would care for Dan, as they weren't enchanted. But where did that leave Geetha, because she expressed some liking beyond simple curiosity about Dan?

The story leads Holly and Dan to eventually breaking up, as it's pretty obvious Holly (as we would say here) wants to have her cake and eat it, too: I don't see it happening, and the story elements support that; even the trip "ending with a whimper" foreshadows them separating. At least Dan is thinking over things and not trying to rush them now.

This will prove an interesting lull, although Lisa's not backing down. If the age gap worried her, she is NOT backing down...yet. Think you've thrown me a curve ball on here I'm not likely to "read" in time before you strike me out. lol. 5

I like the way you build your stories. You've been hinting at a relationship with Lisa for a good while. You laid the groundwork for the relationship with Aarti to not be particularly stable. Good story.

I don't mean to interrupt the Lisa discussion but half way through this story I had an evil thought. What if he saves the 14th 'spell' for Tansa?

1: finally!

2: if he saved the 14th spell (and btw, why didn't the two darts add up to 28?) for tansa, best case, she'd barf. In other words, it wouldn't work. For multiple reasons.

It won’t work if he claim her as one of the fourteen. As much as I hoped that she was THE ONE for him. I think the author has a different ending for us unfortunately,