All Comments on 'The Dragon's Touch'

It felt like you had a lot to explain, so you wanted to rush through that explaination. You told us everything that had happened to your main character, then had a short erotic scene, and called it a day. I would have liked to see more scenes where things were happening, showing and helping me to get a sense of the world and the main character. I get the demure, submissive woman angle but I didn't get any other sense of her personality.

The writing itself was good and easy to follow. Grammar and all the fundamentals were in place. I'd read more about "showing vs telling" and the role of "tension and conflict".

an opening like this would have been cool.

I wrung the last of the water onto my aunt's brow. She opened her paper thin mouth and moved her bloated tongue about in the air. She tried to make some sound. A word perhaps. It almost sounded like 'Thanks', but that was impossible. Then her eyes fluttered and closed one final time.

I shook her a few times. How was it that everyone around me died? I dropped the rag into the bucket with a sigh. I had no more tears, especially not for that woman. Still, I felt the weariness in my bones. Where could I go now? My aunt's husband, I refused to call him uncle, had dangerous eyes and as my body took on shape, I felt sick when those eyes fell upon me. Besides, he wasn't family. Not really. He'd be looking for a wife soon, and I didn't want that to be me.

I wanted to lose myself. Go somewhere where no man could touch me. Where I could keep my distance. I just wanted to be a statue, observed from afar and left alone. So I wrapped a loaf of bread in my spare dress and slung it over my shoulder. I found a bottle of milk and left for Drake's Hollow.

I love this story EXACTLY the way it is. Ignore kizkiz. What possessed them to rewrite your story lmao

Take all feedback with a grain of salt. 50/5 stars. I rate based on overall feel of the story - and I love it!

I liked your story the way it was. That other comment seemed to be more about adding a dramatic flair to the story that wasn't really necessary and just came off sounding a bit overkill. There's really no need to be all pretentious with the writing for people to read it.

A backstory on the dragon's part would be interesting though.