The Driver

'Oh,' she murmured. 'Oh, My love, my love, my only love. Never stop loving me. Please never stop.'

I pushed myself up so that I could look at her. Her shoulders lifted and her head went back. With her mouth open and the throat exposed to me.

'Please, never stop'.

I looked down again and knew that I never would.

* * *

The Burns Unit Carlisle Hospital

7^th October

It's been a few days since he last came. It's strange I miss him. Our conversations were never pleasant. I can't believe how badly I misjudged him. I thought he'd crumble after the second email, but he came out fighting. There was no sign of anything like that in our university days. He found out things about me that I'd forgotten about. He says it's my fault that I'm here. Everything, well almost everything is a consequence of my own actions. Sometimes I start to believe that. Lying here, I'm totally dependent on others for everything; I can't even take a shit without help. It makes you see things differently. He was wrong about one thing, I had no part in the kiddie porn. Why would I? I've no interest in children sexually or otherwise. No, that's a fit-up plain and simple, and, somehow, I'll find a way to prove it. What I really need to know is who is fitting me up, but as he said, there are people queuing up both sides of the Atlantic to get back at me. I've been trying to find a decent lawyer but that's not easy from in here. One of the nurses helped me use her tablet computer. Well, she did all the work I just told her what links to tap. I hate not being able to do things for myself. I always looked down on people like that, the people who needed carers all the time, the invalids. Why couldn't someone put them out of their misery and relieve the able-bodied of the burden of caring for them? I never thought that I would be one of them. I can't even manage a simple thing like send an email on my own. I had to ask the nurse to do it for me. She did a good job; I have a solicitor coming to talk to me tomorrow. As soon as I told him I was Tom Alexander's son-in-law, he couldn't wait.

The police were here again today. I told them about the lawyer but they don't seem worried. The female sergeant looks at me like I'm shit on her shoe every time she comes in. I have to admit they've got me worried. They seem to think it's all over bar the shouting.

I can't believe this. It was bad enough when Ronald the geek was in here torturing me. Now I'm doing it to myself. I have to stay positive; I can get on top of this I know I can. Within the year I'll have new legs I'll be up and about, doing a job again. I can recover from this.

'And do what?' came a voice in my head. 'Go back to the way it was before?'

Why not? The old McIntyre magic will soon come back. I'll work on the ladies and they'll work on their husbands or fathers. Who knows artificial legs might even be an advantage, get the sympathy vote?

'Aren't you forgetting something?' asked the voice. 'Look at those hands. You're going to need skin grafts and you haven't got many places they can take skin from.'

No, I refuse to be negative. They will get started on skin grafts as soon as the swelling goes down. That's what the doctor said. By the time, I'm up on my new legs my hands will be back to normal. I took a drink from the teapot like cup that I still had to use. As I put it back, the wrapping of Ronald's present caught my eye. I reached over pulled it from my locker. What was it he said? It would help me when shaving. Hell, I haven't shaved since I've been in here. I don't have enough feeling in my hands yet to feel my face and I can't remember the last time I looked in a mirror. Come to think of it, I don't think I've seen a mirror in this place, not even in the bathroom.

I picked up the package and started to unwrap it. With my swollen fingers and lack of fingernails, it was a real struggle but eventually, I got the wrapping off the parcel then set about opening the box. A white framed object in a bubble pack envelope dropped onto the bed. It was a six by four rectangular shaving mirror.

I struggled to hold the mirror steady so that I could see myself. At first, I couldn't believe it was me. I had to run my free hand over my face to be certain that what I saw in the mirror was real. The face that I saw was hideous. The skin was mainly red in colour with some white patches and very shiny. The nose was just a small lump with two holes in it. There were no lips just a slit mouth. I had no eyebrows and most of my hair was gone except for a few tufts which seemed to be growing wildly. The right ear was gone completely. I sat in the bed just looking and not quite believing what I could see.

As I moved my fingers across my face I realised that for many years to come I would have the sort of face that children would stare at and adults would look away from. Up to this point, I'd always considered that I could recover. Prosthetic legs would be no problem, a year or two I would be getting around as quickly as ever. I'd be working again and back on top in no time. I would use my charm and soon have people eating out of my hand. I'd even convinced myself that a good lawyer would get the police off my back. Now I looked at the face in the mirror. Who was I going to charm with a face like that? For the first time since I came round, I wished they had just let me die.

* * *

The Shaftoe Residence, Shap village

8^th October

The Wife

I woke up with my head on his chest. He was snoring but as I looked down, I could see the bed sheets standing up like a tent. I reached down and pushed the covers off. I looked down at his cock standing erect and proud. I reached down and ran my fingers over its soft skin. I felt so privileged that I was the person doing this for him. I moved my head down his body bringing my lips down to kiss it. Wrapping my fingers around it, I eased the foreskin down revealing the beautiful shiny head. When I ran my tongue over it. His snoring stopped and his eyes opened. I took him into my mouth sucking gently and swirling my tongue around the head of his manhood. He looked at me and smiled as I took him further in. My pussy went from tingling to throbbing as I swallowed him into my throat. His hand came down and stroked my hair. As I worked my head up and down his cock, I could feel the throbbing getting stronger as the moistness grew between my legs. I knew I couldn't wait much longer so I lifted my head off him, knelt up on the bed and swung one leg across his hips.

As I lowered myself onto his pole, the feeling was amazing. First was the relief as my pussy took in the thing it craved, then the excitement as his magnificent dick rubbed against the inside of my pussy setting me on fire. Finally came the feeling of warmth in my chest as I looked down at my Ronald; oh how I loved this man, and now he was back where he belonged, inside of me. I leaned forward and put a hand either side of his head. I rocked back and forth feeling him slide in and out. In no time at all came the convulsions inside as my orgasm hit me. I pushed down hard onto him feeling myself desperately trying to push him further in. His hands came up and grasped my breasts squeezing them, massaging them as I moved up and down on his cock. The feeling was heavenly. He started rubbing my nipples with his thumbs. Oh god, I thought I was going to explode. The throbbing in my pussy had turned into something else something momentous, a pleasure so extreme that I had difficulty staying conscious. My body sucked him in as my insides melted. I leaned back, threw my head back and screamed. For a moment, I knelt there quite still. He was still hard, rock hard inside me. I could feel him jerking pushing against my pussy wall. Suddenly I felt it. Like a mini orgasm as he touched that special spot. I gently raised my body and I felt him rub against it again. I dropped down again and with each movement, I felt it, the most amazing pleasure. I could feel it coming again from deep inside. Suddenly he was pushing up into me. I felt the force of him pushing up rubbing against my little clit while inside his cock stroked my secret spot. I screamed out again as I felt my body flowing out all over him. Engulfing him. He was in me, he was mine and I was his. I fell forward onto his chest and he hugged me as I cried.

'Oh Ronald, is it really too late for children. I so want to have a part of you growing inside me.'

'Right now you've got a part of me shrinking inside you.' He grinned and kissed me. 'To answer your question, yes I think it probably is. I will see the doctor to see if it's possible.'

'I love you, you know.'

'Yes, I believe you do. Now if you could only get me hard again I could show you how much I love you.'

I kissed him and started moving down his body. His cock was starting to rise again as I reached his waist. The phone rang.

'Leave it, if it's important they'll ring back. I want you to love me again.'

He looked at the caller display, reached for the phone, picked it up and put it to his ear.

'Ronald Shaftoe' he looked down and blew me a kiss. 'When was this? — Why the hell have you done that? — Try to make a scapegoat of them and I'll fight you all the way. — This afternoon at four.'

He put the phone down.

'Now you little minx. I have to go to a board meeting at the hospital this afternoon. What do you think we could do until then?'

I returned to my task, taking him into my mouth and sucking him hard again. I felt so happy that day I would have forgiven him anything. As it was, there was nothing to forgive. He had interrupted my seduction of him but his reason couldn't be faulted. A patient in the hospital had committed suicide and the trust had suspended two nurses for not checking he was actually taking the sedatives he was given. He'd saved them up until he had a fatal dose then taken them all. Ronald knew how busy the nurses were. If they waited while every patient took their medication, they would never get their rounds done. As a trustee of the hospital, he would make sure the girls weren't blamed.

After he'd filled me for the second time that morning, we got up showered and had brunch before setting off for Carlisle and the hospital. Ronnie left me to shop while he went to the hospital. I went back to meet him at five-thirty and got there just before the meeting broke up. Ronald came out with a smile on his face. I walked up and hugged him. To my surprise, he bent and kissed me full on the lips, not just short peck but a proper open-mouthed kiss. I blushed at his open display of affection; several of the other trustees stood watching us. One man, by the name of Henry Robinson, came forward and slapped Ronald on the back. He looked at me.

'You must be Mrs Shaftoe. Now I know why Ronald always has a smile on his face.'

He looked back at Ronald. 'I can see you are as lucky outside the boardroom as you are in it.'

Ronald just grinned. 'Luck has nothing to do with it, Henry.'

I just hugged Ronald's arm. 'I can assure you, Mr Robinson, If anyone is lucky around here, it's me.'

Ronnie put his arm around me and we walked away. My curiosity got the better of me.

'I gather you won the day but what did he mean about being lucky.'

'We decided the safest thing was to say the patient died of his injuries. It seems that the computer has lost the results of the toxicology test. It's even lost the request to carry out a test.'

'And that's what he meant by being lucky?'

'Like I said, luck had nothing to do with it.'

'You mean you erased it?'

'No, of course not. I wouldn't know where to start.'

His hand dropped from my shoulder to my waist and he pulled me closer.

'But I know a man who does.'

* * *

Hartside Pass, East of Penrith

10^th October

The Driver

God, I love this road. It's either dry stonewalls on either side or it's hacked out of the side of the hill with a rock face one side and a steep drop the other. This kind of road is unforgiving. It demands concentration to drive it at speed. Every time I drive it, I can understand why the bikers flood to the Isle of Man. Driving to the limits of the road and your machine are only heightened by the feeling that if you don't get it right, there are no second chances. I can see the road for a mile ahead. There are a few blind spots but studying the road beyond them, I can predict where the other vehicles will be.

They say that some men change as soon as they sit behind the wheel. It's certainly true in my case. I don't get reckless and try to race everyone on the road, but when faced with a road like this it is a challenge to take each bend as quickly as I can, to get the best out of the car. I started competitive driving before all the electronics came in and made it so much easier. That's why I love this car. The Morgan has the bare minimum of electronics. Just engine management, no antilock braking or traction control. I am in total control. As I climb the hill at speeds, which I know are illegal, I can almost feel the thought processes as I work out the best line for each bend and where any oncoming traffic might be. With all this, it would seem that there isn't time to think of anything else, but the human brain is a wonderful thing. Once it's trained to perform a task, it can do it very quickly leaving time for other thoughts. My Brain has been trained to drive.

As I approach the summit, I am reminded of the guy in the Jag. I know he is dead. The man who wanted to take me on. He crashed on this road and died in hospital. People don't understand how I can take death so lightly when I am involved. The truth is I don't. When Colin died, I tried to save him. People said I should have let him through that he didn't have to bounce off the pit wall. He must have known I wouldn't do that. It was his decision to try to force me into it that killed him. The guy in the Jag was just the same. Yes, I put him in a position where he had to make a choice. He made the wrong one. It was his poor decisions that killed him. He chose to drive a car that needed total concentration and he didn't give it. There was room to pass but he didn't see it. He could have recovered but he chose to kill himself. Bad decisions, that's what killed him. Maybe his worst decision was to try to take from me the thing I loved most.

I crested the summit and noticed the cafe was closed for the winter. On down to the hairpin. Brake hard then pulse the pressure to avoid locking. Down to second gear then step on the gas. I'm into third gear and taking the right-hander when I see it. A forty-ton flatbed articulated truck, parked where I'd parked the Land Rover that night. It was unloading Armco barrier to the place where his Jag had gone over. As I came around the bend I got a full view of the road.

When it comes to driving my brain can assess complex situations and make decisions in a split second. It took in the fact that I had insufficient time to stop and that the oncoming vehicle would reach the lorry before I got past. One side of the road was a steep drop and the other side was strewn with large rocks. I changed down to second and floored the pedal. The engine screamed and I got the hoped for kick in the back. The tacho needle shot onto the red zone and I changed up and floored the pedal again. The oncoming car flashed its lights. The speedo needle was nudging 90 mph when I saw the smoke coming from the front tyres of the oncoming car. My speed reached the magic 100 mph as I cleared the back of the lorry. At that speed, a quick turn back onto the correct side of the road could result in the Morgan flipping over. I missed the front wing of the oncoming car by 15 feet. No time to heave a sigh of relief, I was going much too fast for the sharp left-hander coming up. Back to pumping the brakes. As I swung into the bend, the tyres screamed in protest. A squirt on the gas made the back end jump round and I stepped back on the brakes to bring the speed down for the hairpin. Again, the tyres protested as I drifted off the tarmac. The Rocks on the hillside came closer. I stepped on the gas again and I was back on the road, ready to brake hard for the left-hander coming up. In front of me was a steep drop of a hundred feet or more. I moved as far to the right as I dared then swung hard into the curve. The tyres squealed again as I drifted through the bend. Then it was over half a mile of almost straight road ahead. I could now relax get back to normal.

There was no dry mouth or shivers down the spine, no feeling of relief. I'd felt no fear and now there was just a feeling of euphoria. I had made all the right decisions and come out on top. There is no luck. It's all a matter of making the right choices.