The Effable Joy of Nudity Pt. 06

Of course, there is a big difference between taking off your clothes in a sexual or aesthetic context and being casually naked in an everyday situation, much more so in an academic setting such as a lecture or seminar. Because the men around you are fully clothed, you remain intensely aware of your nudity. And if most of the people are female that just adds an extra layer of awareness.

Jasmine is also quirky; one might say eccentric. She is possessed of an offbeat, almost wicked sense of humour and a pronounced mischievous streak, which can be baffling and even off-putting at times. She enjoys being part of this little tableau of one-sided nudity. Of us women, she acts the most casual, and this manifests itself in a funny way. She's the least concerned at being stared at by the young man, but also the least bothered about how she reacts. Her nipples begin to harden. But this is one of the things I've discovered about the CMNF experience. In the presence of people who have seen you naked before, you are relaxed, you could almost forget your déshabillé condition. But when new eyes behold your unadorned form, you feel it quite intensely. As a result, you are never entirely habituated to being naked. You never become blasé or get jaded. That's a big part of the joy of nudity.

And as much as we may try to suppress it, there is sexual tension here. It's unavoidable. Jasmine and I are seated on either side of Nathan close enough that the arms of our chairs touch. When she speaks to him, she leans in close, and a bare breast brushes against his arm. I can almost see his skin tingling and hairs rising. The intimacy makes me more intensely aware of my own nudity than usual; but there's something else going on. I peek at Nathan. He's admirably poker-faced; but I sometimes wonder what it's like to be the male in this situation. He's not just outnumbered here; all three females are his superiors. It seems almost a parody of how we normally view social and professional relationships that the most person present is the only one wearing clothes. It reminds me, all of us, that in the CMNF philosophy and lifestyle, rank, wealth, education, power (be it political, economic, physical or intellectual) and all the other ways we have of defining and assigning status count for nothing when it comes to who wears clothing and who does not.

So as the only one of us wearing anything, it must be easy for Nathan to feel a sense of self-satisfaction, entitlement, privilege, even superiority, as a member of the sex that does not feel the need or the desire to exhibit itself so overtly.

I guess it's different when you're on the other side, though I can't really say. I don't exactly know what goes on inside the male brain, but I suppose that's mutual. I wonder if the guys can really comprehend the appeal of the CMNF experience from our perspective...

Perhaps, once again, I'm overthinking it. This walk through my day is turning into a meandering ramble through the uncharted wilderness of my mind. I should get back on track.