- Loving Wives
- The End of the Affair
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Another short and sweet 750 word story. Well, maybe not so sweet...
Hope you enjoy, Belle
*** Them ***
"But I love you," he said. They both cringed at the plaint in his voice. The whine reverberated through the hotel room.
Silhouetted against the setting sun, she leaned on the doorjamb leading to the balcony. Her mahogany skin highlighted by the gold in the atmosphere. He watched her turn slowly to face him. Her naturally kinky hair expertly picked out to frame her narrow face and emerald eyes.
"You love that I'm not your wife," she sighed.
She took one step toward him. "You love my skin. You love my hair. My legs. My mouth. My accent. You love that I curse in French."
She took another step. "You love that I've let you do whatever you wanted. You love that I've never expected anything of you."
She moved again, and he moved toward her. She drew herself to her full height, besting him by four inches in her flats. She looked down at him. In the fading light, they stared at each other, taking the measure of the person opposite. Her eyes glittered. His shone with unshed tears.
"You can't leave me," he said. They both knew his bravado was hollow.
She picked up her bag, sliding away from him. His hand snapped around her forearm; his grip a vice. She raised one elegant eyebrow, tilted her head.
"I'll tell your husband," he whispered, playing his last card.
She barked a laugh. "He already knows."
As if shocked, he dropped her arm. "So does your wife," she added.
*** Her ***
"Did you break his heart?" her husband asked.
She stood in their living room, backlit by the glow of a full moon. He looked her over, taking in the outline of her body through the thin cotton of the long dress she wore. He stood, stepping to her and looking her evenly in the eye.
She shrugged. "Maybe," she said, "he said he loved me."
Her husband gripped her shoulders and slipped the straps of her dress sideways so it fell to the floor. He smiled, his white teeth visible in the low light, only a few shades more pale than his skin. His hands traced her arms and he leaned forward. His lips brushed her jawline and he inhaled deeply.
"You carry his stink," he said, his tone low and grave.
"Home to you," she replied, husky and aroused.
His tongue tapped her neck, licking softly as his hands circled her waist and pulled her to him. His hands traced lower, cupping her groin and her rear. He dipped a finger between her folds, parting her the tight curls of her bush, and sliding over her nub.
She leaned against him, resting her cheek on his shoulder, welcoming his inspection.
"You carry his jism."
He pressed his hand to her, testing her depths until she contracted around him.
"Home to you," she whispered, breathy and soft.
She clasped her hands behind his neck, leaning her taut body into his embrace.
"Always home to me."
"Always. You are my home."
*** Him ***
He stood in their darkened bedroom. He hung his head, hands fisted in his pockets, toes digging in the carpet, anxious. His heart beat fast and his skin flushed. He closed his eyes and waited. He heard movement and looked up. His wife leaned against the doorway of their bathroom. Her eyes glittered, and her arms were crossed under her chest. He looked her over, dressed in her thin silken nightgown with her nipples prominent and her hip jutting out.
He tried to read the expression on her face, and failed.
On the second try, words exited his mouth. "She told you."
His wife nodded. "Over lunch today."
She strode to him and circled him, stopping to look him in the eye.
"You smell like her perfume," she said, gruff. "Why her?"
He cringed against the question. He didn't have an answer. He closed his eyes, remembering the feel of her skin under his hands, and the nap of her hair as it brushed against his thighs. He sighed, thinking of the unique scent of her musk, and the feel of her in his mouth. He shook his head.
"You met her," he said, left with nothing but the hope that her charisma would explain what his mind could not.
His wife stepped back, sitting on the end of their bed, leaning on her hands and crossing her legs. He turned toward his wife, awaiting her judgment.
"What did you think?" he asked.
She shrugged. "You've done better. Who's next?"
- COMMENTS
Anonymous5 months agoNicely layered for something so short. Left me wondering what ‘the game’ really was and my imagination is going wild with the options. Kind of like what’s really in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction. Great way to live in your readers head long after they’ve finished the story.
Helen1899about 1 year agomy first read by this author, it won't be my last. Can't understand all the negativity, I thought it well written and entertaining if I could i would give it 5*
Anonymousover 1 year agoGeez, some of the comments I've read are longer than the story which was a whole lot of nothing very much. What even was the point of it?
iameaselover 2 years agoYour writing skills are not much beyond the norm here, at all, so I fail to understand the cheers from the crowd, ie Hikingthru (who cheered you because of subject matter NOT quality of writing) beyond that the and others need to cheer on anyone who validates what they think is a kink.
If the characters are literally worthless it does detract from what you are attempting to give us. And what you did give us wasn't much beyond plain drivel. In every regard.
All you showed us, in the end, was that these people aren't worth reading about. But the closeted ones would applaud you, so take it with a huge grain of salt.
HikingThrualmost 4 years ago1. Interesting that this is the first and only submission in LW for this author
2. This author has 14(!) Hot-rated stories out of 22, and most are 4.7s and 4.8s.
3..Interesting that the early comments are ad hominem, i.e., the characters suck, as if these are real people. The last four comments, all applaud the quality writing, and make little mention of the characters.
4. The ONLY submission where the scoring appears turned off is this one (x.xx), as if the author knew that scoring would be meaningless in this category.
It's almost as if this author knew that readers in LW didn't read for the quality of the writing, but rather voted for what they liked. Or against what they don't like.
Anonymousabout 4 years agoThis story packs a heavy punch for a story so brief, I agree entirely with one comment I noticed about the elegance and efficiency of this very simple story.
Someone (probably several someone’s) grumbled about why did either couple bother to get married, I thought it was a very narrow minded attitude. In an open relationship sex with a 3rd party is just sex, a biological function. However, sex with your spouse in an open relationship is profound. The entire point is to share everything openly with your spouse doing that turns the casual sex into foreplay for the real deal, which is having sex with your spouse. It’s a way of expanding horizons, experiencing variety. You aren’t in love with the 3rd party you’ll care about them to some degree because you don’t want to deliberately hurt them or lead them on because you love your husband/ wife and have no intention of leaving them.
Of course the irony in this case is that both of the ‘lovers’ were from open relationships. Obviously the right way to pursuing this extramarital foreplay is to make sure that the other person is single. I strongly believe that this kind of thing should only include fully consenting adults and that nobody gets hurt from it. If I were the woman in this story I wouldn’t seek out someone already in a relationship. The only thing that comes across as odd is that the male ‘lover’ seemed genuinely attached to his female counterpart.
Tess (UK)
Anonymousabout 4 years agoTo put this one down, bookmark it, and come back later for a reread.
I think that this is a really well done piece of minimalism, and not at all a crap cuck story like the ones we get in here every day.
Yes the characters are horrible people, engaged in projecting their pathology onto seemingly unaware mirror players.
I enjoy these shorts for what they are and that they DONT draw out the complete picture but rather let the reader run.....this is, in my mind, a successful story.
I’ve read it three times, and one angle suggests that this is a satire.
BelleCanzuto, I see you’ve turned off voting. Let me assure you that getting 1* bombed in LW is no black mark. Regroup and make another run at it. I’ll look up your other stories even though at first glance they don’t dovetail my interests.
YandisaNgxabaneabout 4 years agoIt's so bizarre that people are down voting your writing because you wrote unlikeable characters. Your ability to write such complex characters in this shortened format is a credit to your skill. 5 stars from me. Well done!
NataschaCraneabout 4 years agoThis is the first of your pieces I’ve read. Your cadence is quick, leaving only what we need to know. Your storytelling is efficient and sleek and I’m keen to read more. I guess you have a new fan!
