All Comments on 'The End to a Very Bad Day'

Remember all the comments. Take a more time to review your story before submission. Ask for someone to help edit if you would like outside help. To find an editor, read stories that flow well and that you like and contact that writer for suggestions. You are just starting so don't be discouraged by the negative comments.

Also remember, at the beginning of the season Green Bay was not supposed to be in the playoffs and look where they finished. A Packers Fan has to have the heart of a warrior.

Watertown, WI, Packers Fan

Maybe you already fixed the "errors", but I don't see anything to complain about with this. There ARE clear breaks whenever the POV changes, though I suppose some people need it spelled out in greater detail. As to the mis-naming, everywhere the name Mike appears it clearly refers to the male character.

I enjoyed this and am looking forward to a continuation - thanks for gifting us with this one!

Good and hot. Keep going. Don't mind the dings. I can tell you, from personal experience, they hurt (but you know that). Do not let that stop you. Keep writing, it does get better.

You are starting on the right tract. keep up the work and make the next story longer with more sex. less hitting.

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. Details showed familiarity with business world and made story believable. Really liked the natural conversational dialogue between characters. Spanking is a turn on (powerfully erotic and laden with needless taboo) and I liked the spontaneity of it in Mike's return to home. Hope his going for the "proper tools" was a tease line for a future spanking in the next story. I can't imagine what prompted one baseless critical comment I read--but ignore criticism without substantive suggestions. Again, your story was a real treat.

You write beautifully and I throughly enjoyed this.

Even the tiniest details like her riding the bike was a great build up of sexual tension - and I thought the sex itself was very well written.

brilliant first story i read what i want the story to be, missing out any mistakes. as we all make them no matter how good we think we are. so.

please do carry on with the writing i for one love it.

Very arousing. Could imagine the rough sex in detail (because of your descriptions), well done.

I thought this was a super read, well paced and so real, we all feel just like that sometimes, and if we have a partner that understands and goes along with it thats the way to go..... looking for Pt 2 now....