All Comments on 'The Exterminators, A Love Story'

Nice story. Liked the characters and the story line. Keep writing and thanks for your time and imagination.

I rarely venture into this category but I am pleased that I did and read your story. Looking into my glass ball I am wondering if a film producer might be looking at your story and thinking, “ah ha, movie time”! Well done and an enjoyable read. Now I have to check your other submissions. Five****.

Loved that fast moving tale!

The story was ok but you need a proofreader - lots of simple grammar mistakes and mixed up characters. Plus David is 38 at the beginning and 59 at the end making the son 20 or 21 at most... And he's a colonel? Um, no.

Thank you for your feedback. To anonymous, why do you bother reading stories if all you are looking for is a typo or bad math. Get over yourself

I'm a sucker of a beautiful story and it is with great pleasure to read one of your's. Thank you so much for sharing your writing prowess.

Cinder

nice romance story i usually don't read romance but this got to me

There are the bones of a novel and movie here with a LOT of fleshing out and editing

when authors create and sometimes evolve characters and then make them do the exact opposite of that. Just like the nasty cunt in this story. She was basically a whore, then she "fell in love" and acted just like someone that was in love but then didn't even think twice about doing her old boyfriend twice in a car letting him go bareback no less??? She told David she was going out for a drink alone with a "friend" and not to wait up??? WTF kind of writing is that? They weren't even having a spat to cause it and then Cucky Boy just shrugs it off and says, ok??? That kind of writing flaw makes me want to puke.

That's a writing flaw and in my opinion, one of the worst problems on Literotica. It's a proven fact, once a whore, cheater, or slut, ALWAYS a whore, cheater, or slut. Given that, why bother trying to change the character mid-stream or at the end. Some people are just bad people in the world and some are whores, cheaters, and sluts. If some guys can live with that and become at the very least, a closet cuckold just like the main character, David, is in this story. If he wasn't he would have interrupted the action at the table when they got grabby. Instead, he follows them out and watches them fuck??? Sorry, that's a closet Cuck. The author just opted not to write about how he jacked himself off before he left, I'm sure.

This story had great possibilities but poor writing and writing flaws, damaged a large part of it.

He should have stayed gone, reclaimed his kid after she was killed by the British guy and got it on with Jan.

There are all kinds of "Female Crazy" out there and most of it you want to steer clear of and avoid like the plague, but Jan's kind is the best, it's simply pure love and devotion. As long as he would never do anything to hurt her love and devotion for him, she would easily die for him just as easily as she killed for him. Find a woman like that and you will NEVER be unhappy in life.

Csak gratulálni tudok a szép és megindító írásához ,nagyon sok hasonlót szeretnénk még ha írna!Köszönet érte!

I looked up the language in language identifier. It’s Hungarian but no idea what it says. Lol

I can only congratulate you on your beautiful and moving writing, we would like to write a lot like this! Thanks!

looks like cummininsideher is the only one that thinks otherwise. I guess thats what happens when you are a "one man woman". 1/1 for comment.

4/5 for the story.

Even though not married, Susan was in an implied relationship with David. She disrespected him and cheated!! Never trust the slut...

Why was Susan driving alone when she was kidnapped,Jonny was suppose to guard her?.

The funny thing here is He is Married to a Slut .. Plus She showed him disrespect . Not this writers best work . But they did carry some fine guns

Too pat and contrived. Also, desperately in need of editing,with tenses jumping allover and first person to third person following suit. As pointed out in another, earlier comment, where the hell was Dr. Graves' security, when she was taken so easily. Very poorly done, though the plot was good but badly presented. Pity, could have been a great story.

Great fairy tale! A bit childish, with everything falling into place. Needs editing, since every now and then one finds the third person slipping into the first person and confusing everyone. Also, "Jan" limps into the room, where Jan is talking to David. Nice plot but a real"Happy ever after," fantasy.

I stopped at "We are former ArmyDelta/CIA".

What if she ends up alone with someone again silly guy?

What a load of crap.Cold heated lawyer and CEO drops her her knickers on the first night and for the first time in her life has unprotected sex,get real.Then Greg and Jonny leave their top class jobs to be her or otection,again get real.If they are her protection,then how was she kidnapped,why wasn't one of them with her.Finally knowing where David was,him dropping everything and the watch tracker is just more cap and why did the baddy not shoot Jan.?

I was honestly expecting the author to ruin this story like he ruined so many of his other stories. The wife suddenly goes off the rails cuckoo and sleeps with everything with a dick and gets knocked up.

Glad he refrained this time.

Good read!

The only damn thing you forgot was the big cape with the S painted on it! So over the top is was just grotesque. Was it supposed to be a parody? Because that was exactly how it came off and poorly at that. the only continuity in this mess was that it started out ridiculous and kept getting worse!

So big shots Greg and Johny leave David's firm to work for the rich bitch and be her protection yet she's kidnapped!!

WHAT A FUCKING JOKE

It had a lovely ending, but lots of it wasn't believable. They were in love after less than a day, she was letting him have unprotected sex in less than three days. So sorry it didn't do it for me.

David was 38 when he met Susan. his son was born within the year. Jumping ahead, he's retired and 59 years old so Junior is 20 years old ...and a COLONEL? 😂

Don't accept that Greg and Johnny would leave the organisation to work for her.Nor do I accept that neither Greg or zJonny didn't get a message to him that he was a father.

In many ways the author is a simple writer, but I love his plots and I love the characters he develops.

The technical criticisms may be fair, but when the story is so good I put aside my editorial self and just ejoy the entertainment.

Thanks Rob

The Hoary Cleric