The Fallen Ch. 03

Wait a sec there..."one" of their forms? They have more than what I saw Trina change into?

"The lupines have forms that swing the gamut from human, up to their war form, and back down to a full wolf form. The war form is what we witnessed with Trina. In this form they are more dangerous than can be imagined."

Oh, I don't know about that. I can imagine pretty hard. I also suppose this shoots down my idea about holding Trina's little secret over her head. That would probably not end well. I better just keep it to myself, after all.

"That would be wise."

I sigh, realizing how complicated my life has suddenly gotten. Only this morning my biggest fear was the math test on Monday. Now I have to factor werewolves, mages, and vampires into the equation, if you'll pardon the pun.

So what else is out there? Supernaturally wise?

"Oh, the list is extensive. If a legend exists about it then it probably has some basis in fact. There are werewolves, bakeneko, vampires, dhampirs, mages, faeries, ghosts, wraiths, akuma, naga, mummies, zombies, succubi, incubi, gargoyles, nukekubi, dryads, harpies, hellhounds, sandmen, scylla, erinyes, shades, spriggans, kumiho, gorgons, mermaids..."

Okay, okay. I get that there's a lot of them.

"Yes."

Lemme guess...I should stick to questions about me?

"Preferably. We could spend weeks discussing what we recall of such creatures."

We finally reach the paved road again, and I'm grateful when the Outback's tires grip asphalt. I accelerate to the speed limit and set the cruise control before continuing my internal dialog with Cassie.

"Though you persist in believing we are two individual beings, technically we are one and the same. We exist in a sort of symbiosis and have since we were conceived within our mother's womb."

If we're "one" then why do you have to explain all of this to me? How come I don't just know it?

"It has to be this way. Our human brain could not withstand the strain of our many lifetimes worth of knowledge crashing down on it at once. It would cause severe physical damage, and we do not wish to spend our time together as a vegetable."

Find that one out the hard way?

"Yes, unfortunately. I always awaken with some small amount of knowledge intact. The rest will slowly reveal itself as we get older."

I'm not the first person you've ever joined with then?

"No. Erykah Gray would be number seventeen."

I know it's kind of a broad question, but how is any of this even possible?

"We suppose we shall explain from the beginning then. It is unfortunate it must be this way each time, but such is our existence."

Okay. So, the beginning?

"Yes, but first we must apologize for things we must skim over. There are many gaps in what we can recall. Some of what we know was explained to us by other Eternals who have their own memory gaps, who in turn probably learned some of what they know from other Eternals...and so on and so on. Pieces of what we reveal may not be entirely accurate but should be close enough for our purposes."

It's okay.

"We must understand that in our original incarnation we existed for literally billions and billions of years. The human mind is not capable of holding the information from so many memories, from such a span of time."

I'm a little blown away by that revelation. Seriously, it's fine. I'm sure you'll do your best.

"Thanks. Very well, we shall do our best...

"In the beginning we Eternals existed within the boundless love and glory of the All-Mother, and she blessed us and gave us purpose. The universe was new and exciting during those busy times, and our existence was truly a paradise. Each of us had a place and knew our role and performed our duties with true joy. Though the Earth was not the only world we crafted where life bloomed, it was the All-Mother's favorite."

Whoa whoa whoa. You know I'm a big sci-fi geek, right?

"We are aware, yes."

So you're telling me there are actual aliens out there?

"Yes."

That is so awesome! Have they ever visited us?

"Doubtful, though we can't be sure. May we continue?"

Yeah, sorry. It's just, well...you know. That's so bad ass!

"All bad assery aside, many of us were given the task of attending the Earth and it's needs. It pains us that we cannot remember more from those wondrous times, but most of it is a blur. What we remember most keenly is Jophiel. As an Eternal of the House of Heralds, one of Jophiel's main duties was communicating the All-Mother's directives to her other children. We still remember our first meeting and how we were instantly smitten.

"Jophiel was a beautiful creature of light to which we were drawn. Jophiel was drawn in turn to the dark illumination of our soul. After our first encounter we took any excuse we could to spend our free time together, which was simple as Jophiel could travel the firmament with ease. In time our love grew, and we were always on each others' minds. Our souls became intertwined over the many years, and even across the span of the entire universe we could feel one another. We knew joy and bliss at our true love, and it always made us more powerful when we were together."

I look over to Danni's sleeping form and finally understand where all my strange feelings originated. Our love story had begun at the dawn of the universe itself and continues to this day. No wonder I feel so powerfully for her.

"But then everything about the simplistic grace of our existence changed when the All-Mother vanished. She was there one moment, and then she was not. There was no warning, no fanfare, no goodbye. Just...gone. Her glory and her majesty had simply ceased to be. Worst of all, no one knew what had happened to her.

"Not even her firstborn, Lucifer, had been privy to the reason behind her sudden disappearance."

What? The devil is God's firstborn? I thought that was Jesus?

"Don't believe everything you read. Jesus wasn't even an Eternal. He was a mage, but that's neither here nor there. Jesus has only a brief but important role in this tale."

Mind. Blown.

"We Eternals have always craved direction and purpose, and without the All-Mother there to give us these we did our best to create our own tasks. We think deep down many of us understood that we were imperfect without the All-Mother, like a hammer lying on a workbench with no one to use it...we were useless. This feeling of uselessness pained us, but looking back we can see that no single one of us felt this more deeply than Lucifer.

"When the All-Mother pulled her disappearing act, humanity was nothing like they are today. They were hardly more than beasts themselves, but had the potential to become so much more. Lucifer recognized this in the All-Mother's most favored of Earth's creatures. The first-born sent out an appeal to the collective consciousness of the primitive human race. Lucifer gave them a choice.

"Humanity could stay as beasts and enjoy the simple, unfettered life such a thing afforded, or Lucifer could evolve them to the next level of being. Though we didn't know it at the time, this was the beginning of the Great Division among the Eternals.

"Many of us believed we should maintain the status-quo until the All-Mother's return lest we earn her wroth for altering her creation without her say so. Lucifer thought otherwise, many of the most powerful Eternals siding with Lucifer, for who would know better the will of the All-Mother than her first-born, her Morningstar? There were many, many debates and peaceful discussions on the subject, but as Lucifer was the All-Mother's first-born we were beholden to obey in the lack of directive from our creator.

"Where before we Eternals were one cohesive family, now lines had been drawn between those who agreed with Lucifer and those who did not. Thus was the price of our lack of clear purpose, and thus was the beginning of the end of the dream.

"In time mankind accepted that which was offered and chose to ascend.

"Ourself and Jophiel were among those who disagreed with the first-born, but along with others of like mind we watched with fascination as the humans became something amazing. They became like us, like the All-Mother. They were more self-aware than ever before, began to show the spark of true intelligence, and displayed the ability to self-sacrifice for the benefit of others.

"For a time we thought all would be well, even though the All-Mother had yet to return. How wrong we were. If only we had left humanity alone from that point on.

"Lucifer decided it was time to reveal ourselves to mankind, to guide and teach them in order that they may better themselves. Once again there were debates and disagreements, the old lines drawn long ago reappearing even stronger this time. Many of us believed mankind should be left to their own devices and allowed to grow at their own pace and find their own place in the universe. The voice of Lucifer won out in the end, and the first-born's will was done.

"Mankind was made to separate. Instead of evolving as one family they were split and made to travel the face of the Earth, not to have contact with one another for a time. The harshness of the new environs they were exposed to changed them physically and mentally, toughening their bodies, sharpening their minds, and creating an amazing diversity among them. Once humanity was believed ready, Lucifer sent forth the most trusted Eternals to show themselves and give unto mankind the first-born's teachings.

"Some tribes of man were more resistant than others to such things, but there was one thing they all held in common. No matter where they were on Earth or during which time period they were finally swayed, each group took the teachings and applied their already existing social constructs to what they'd been shown by the Eternals.

"This Great Plan did not have the effect Lucifer thought it would. Instead of being inspired to greater heights, each tribe of man began to believe that they were 'special' or 'blessed' or 'watched over' by an all-powerful deity that loved only them. It was one of the greatest mistakes of our kind. It was we Eternals who created the many fractured and differing religions of man, imbuing in them a propensity for belief in the divine.

"Over time, as humankind slowly became the dominant species on Earth, the different tribes of man with their varied religions and languages began to come into contact with one another. We had already learned something wondrous about the potential of mankind in their stunning capacity for creativity and their ability to define their own purpose.

"Now, though, we also learned something terrible. Mankind created things we would never have imagined. When humans think they have the backing of a 'god' they will commit horrifying acts upon each other, and fully believe they are justified.

"For the first time we witnessed lies, deceit, greed, cruelty, and war, and it changed we Eternals forever, opening our eyes to all manner of atrocities. The lid of Pandora's Box had been lifted, and we were never the same after seeing these unimaginable things.

"The Great Division came to fruition as the old lines were redrawn among the Eternals. Lucifer's camp scrambled to come up with a way to fix their great mistake, while the opposing side, our side, urged caution and restraint. We reasoned that we'd done enough damage to mankind by meddling in their existence, and it was quite possible they would right themselves if we would only step back and leave them be.

"Discussion and debate turned to arguments which flared into petty squabbles and harsh feelings. As Lucifer was about to execute his latest scheme regarding mankind we stood in his path to prevent it. We believed the time for talk was over, and the time for action had begun. He called us traitors. He called us disloyal to the All-Mother. He called us many things, none of which changed our minds. Finally, we were labeled 'the rebels', a term that has stuck to this day.

"Once the Morningstar realized we would not budge, he also decided it was time for action, but he took a page from the book of humankind.

"He declared war upon us.

"Lucifer struck the very first blow. For the first time in billions upon billions of years of our existence, one Eternal caused harm to another Eternal, and everything descended into chaos.

"That first battle was long, drawn-out, and horrific for both sides. Unlike humans we Eternals couldn't die. We fought and fought until our souls were so weary and burdened from the violence and brutality of it all that each side quit the field.

"The first-born thought we'd been sufficiently cowed. When Lucifer again tried to implement The Plan, however, we stood in the way and battle resumed. If nothing else we thought we could give mankind some breathing room from our meddlesome ways, so we fought to a stalemate again. We know it doesn't sound like much when we state it in a few sentences like that, but imagine a single engagement that lasts hundreds of years.

"This war raged on for what, at the time, seemed forever.

"In the end Lucifer held a great hatred toward we rebels, so he tore a hole in the fabric of reality. What lie beyond was the Abyss, Hell, Gehenna...it goes by many names. It is the absence of everything, a place of zero dimensions where nothing can exist. It is the place Lucifer directed we rebels be thrown.

"We took some of the first-born's followers with us into our prison, but in the end we were outnumbered and lost. Every last rebel was thrown into this Abyss, and Lucifer sealed it up before any of us could escape. Though nothing could exist in this place, we Eternals could not be destroyed so this is where we did abide. Existing without existence was an eternity of torment. It was such an indescribable place...words do not exist that could do it justice."

Cassie falls silent, and I can feel her pain at even talking about the Abyss. I'm glad she can't really remember being there. As nothing could exist within, not even time itself, memories could never be formed. Though I assume escape came eventually, that empty pit of the Abyss remains branded upon Cassie's soul. I can feel it there, and it makes me shudder.

I do wonder how you escaped.

"We found out much later that a great cataclysm occurred - something powerful enough to reopen Lucifer's original tear in reality. The opening was tiny, but we all saw it...saw actual substance streaming into the Abyss only to be swallowed into oblivion. We clamored and fought into the shadows of light. In the end only the smallest of us were able to slip through that tiny hole and back into creation. Larger, more powerful Eternals raged with impotent fury as they were left behind, unable to escape through a gap too tiny to allow the passage of their larger essences."

So what was the cataclysm that reopened the Abyss?

"Jesus' death. He was the most powerful mage the world had ever seen, and a deeply religious man. He actually believed his magics existed because he was the 'son of God'. His belief that his death on the cross was for the benefit of mankind did work out that way, but not how he thought it would. He died not for the sins of man, but for the sins of the Eternals.

"When he was killed it created an unbreakable disruption around the Earth, a barrier that prevents all Eternals from passing through or interacting with this world. This disruption blasted forth as a shock wave felt at the very edges of the universe itself, this wave rattling our cage and opening the door ever-so-slightly."

Hold up. I'm confused. If no Eternals can reach Earth then how did any of our kind end up here?

"The Abyss is a very contradictory thing. It is nowhere and everywhere at once. It is an absolute absence of anything, and yet holds the power of creation itself. When the first of us reached that tiny hole back into reality we realized that it was from the Abyss that new souls originated. We could feel the souls of freshly conceived humans streaming forth. Desperate to escape, the first of us grabbed hold of a human soul. It carried us along with it, and this is how we finally escaped...by bonding ourselves with these souls."

The only way to escape was to be born as a human? Which trapped you here, on Earth, I'm guessing.

"Correct. The barrier prevents our passage back into the firmament, but to escape the Abyss and arrive here we had to reach symbiosis with a newly conceived human soul. Doing so put us into a state of hibernation for a couple decades or so, but eventually we always awaken."

This is all so weird. Am I really me? Is Cassie just one aspect of me or a separate entity I share my body with? I know what she already said, but wrapping my mind around this is going to take some doing.

"We are one and the same, inexorably bound and indistinguishable. What was once Cassandriel is now the aspect of ourself that is the ultimate expression of our Eternal power. Though we may converse in this manner we are really only speaking with ourself."

I take a moment to absorb all of this, then my brain starts to do the math. If the Abyss opened about 2000 years ago when Jesus supposedly died, and Cassie claims I'm life number seventeen...hmm...carry the four...

That's an average of like 125 years per life! It's not unheard of for a person to live that long, but during the dark ages? Highly unlikely.

You mentioned living many lives. What's the deal? How could each one survive for so long?

"First, certain aspects of the human condition will never affect us. Do we recall ever becoming ill from disease?"

Well, yeah...there was that one time in third grade I got the flu...

"We faked that because Margie was teasing us in class. Remember how we put the thermometer under hot water to fool our mother?"

Oh yeah...

"Coincidentally, mother was not tricked. She knew and let us stay home anyway."

I smile as Cassie reminds me of something I'd completely forgotten. My heart aches a little at the bittersweet memory of mom. Cassie gives me a warm feeling of comfort, and I suddenly realize that she loved mom too.

Thanks Cassie.

"It is the least we can do. Do we recall any other times we became ill?"

Well, I did get food poisoning that one time when I was eleven.

"That was from raiding our mother's chocolate bar stash, and it wasn't food poisoning. We ate too many and got very bad diarrhea."

Really? I could've sworn that was food poisoning. I had my mom take me to the hospital and everything.

"We had the flaming shits, that is all."

I chuckle a little at Cassie's use of the crude phrase. Are you sure?

"We are certain."

Alright, so I take it I can't get sick or die from diseases?

"Correct. Second, we will not age from this point on."

I'm going to be a teenager forever?

"Forever is a long time, during which much can happen...as we've learned down throughout the centuries. We will never grow 'old' in the sense of becoming elderly. It is why almost all of our kind are young in appearance. We can, however, be killed."

What exactly happens then...if I'm killed?

"We immediately bond with another unborn human at the point of their conception. Everything that we are continues on in this new being. Hidden within us is the knowledge and personalities of many lifetimes, and if we are ever killed then what we perceive as being 'Erykah Gray' will not cease to exist. We are forever more an Eternal regardless of what the future holds. In one way or another we shall live forever, as it always has been."