All Comments on 'The Family Mansion Pt. 04'

Very much enjoying your writing. Only thing I may say is that sometimes throwing so many names/characters into it can et the story very jumbled. Always good to add others, just not a land slide :)

Still loving the it. Can't wait for more chapters.

That was a long one help of a story. Wish I had 3 sisters and a mom like that, lol. Could read more chapter if u add more. Maybe Nate impregnates all sisters and his mother. They all have 2 girls and 2 boys. As they grow up 10 1/2 inch cocks are in the genes and they family tradition continues.

I sure hope Nathan does did from dehydration. I need to go back and read over the earlier chapters, I can't remember when everyone became submissive to Nathan. Still enjoying this series.

Really needs continuing, good read.

Your story line is funny and sexy. However, your poor (sorry - terrible) grammar and lack of editing is driving me crazy. It is so poor that I have to reread sentences all of the time to figure out what you're trying to say. Please edit before you submit, or get one of the volunteer editors to edit your stuff (or at least do spell check).

I am enjoying your story line. It is a fun and sexy read. However, your poor - no, terrible - grammar is driving me crazy. You need to at least re-read and edit your stories once more before you submit them. Ideally, you will make use of the volunteer editors, as your sentence structure and the use of wrong pronouns (and names) is god-awful. At least do spell check before you submit them. But do keep writing.

I can not say enough the story need to keep going YES KEEP IT GOING I am not like others I am a bad speller [finger spell check broken aggan] or any good with grammerr bad schoools where i grew up ]] any way just keep writing and as for help i do always and my daughters always do so the editors can help but again the main thing like i keep saying to my one daughter the writer is just put the dam words on the page and worry about the other stuff latter [don't get hung up on spell or grimmer it will kill you as a writer ] just put the words on the page

the story is the important part no words no story

SO KEEP WRITING

i hope you write more to this story

please continue

but I loved your story. I hope to see it develop more, with the Dr. and the folks at the school, and who knows who else?

Please can we get ch. 5 this is so good!!!!!!!

Really good story, I have enjoyed all of the chapters so far. Since you have introduced the other characters from the school, doctors and mothers sister I hope future chapters will be forth coming to see how they are brought into the situation and how does Nathan cope with so many women?

loved it

Please add new chapters where nathan fucks his aunt and cousins

Wow, what a great story. I loved it. Please continue with it. Have the aunt and cousins move in and become part of the sexual fun. They could make more videos for Brooke's website and make even more money. They could even set up cameras throughout the mansion so that no matter where they were they could make another video for the website.

You have left it with so many options open. Please add more chapters.