The First Time I Sucked My Penis

I'd always heard about guys who could suck their own penises. Depending on where you grew up, you usually heard one of two views about them - that they were either freaks of nature (positive), or they were perverted (negative).

As with so many things homophobic, lots of guys think, "Why would I want to suck that? Especially when I can get a chick to do that for me? Or suck a chick's hard nipples?" I'm not sure I have an answer for that.

There is a certain amount of perversity that it takes to want to suck your own dick. You have to have a kind of dark curiosity, you have to want to do something to swim against the cultural stream. Obviously, you also have to like your dick to begin with. If you're gay, there's the notion of sucking another guy's dick being way better, and a lot of guys love giving blow jobs.

I can recall seeing long, thick penises in locker rooms - dangling, flabby, often pink, often fairly long, and, rogue guy that I am, wondered what it would be like to suck them, or to be one of the guys sporting one and then suck my own. I've seen guys packing seven, eight, nine inches with girth as big as bananas. Talk about a mouthful.

The thing about self sucking, though, is that for many guys, there always seems to be a natural limitation to it - some kind of logistical challenge. The distance between your open mouth and your penis is one thing - a "tie" distance isn't quite good enough - that just lets you lick the tip, not much else. One needs to be able to perhaps suck maybe a half-inch to an inch at the least in order to get the tip in the mouth between the lips.

And then there's flexibility. If you're gifted with a back that can curl up oh-so easily, so you can put your crotch in your own face, you are golden. It may take some posturing physically to get your crotch all the way up to your mouth, but as long as that back is limber, you've got it made. On smut video clips, I've seen some guys lean over and lick and suck their erect dicks, almost effortlessly, drawing their cocks into their hungry mouths. On others they'll lie on their backs, hoist their legs in the air in a big "V", and allow their penises to dangle tantalizingly above their faces.

Guys who do this second approach, if they can't touch their penis with their mouths or tongue have a pretty hot alternative - they can masturbate over their mouth and faces. That's really hot, too - you have this head-on view of the top of your dick, with the slit poised to blast, and you jerk it and work it. Then you see precum start to emerge as you slowly speed up your stroke, stiffening your leg and thigh muscles to get the semen into position.

And then...you go over the falls and your balls squeeze hard enough, and you see blasts of cum erupt from the tip, hitting your face, your nose, going in your open mouth with your tongue out. If you wear glasses, the lenses become puddled with thick, gray-white goo, blurring the vision. If you don't wear glasses, you instinctively wince, unsure of what cum in your eye feels like. And you keep blasting until jet after jet falls off in the amount of slippery fluid.

That's a pretty damn good second prize. But I've always wanted the gold, the real thing. And I've tried, over time, to get the tip of my shaft in my mouth.

The very first time I tried it, I tried it sitting up. I wasn't all that tall and figured it wouldn't be a big deal. I was a little surprised at how challenging it was. Maybe I didn't put everything I had into it because I heard all the negative things muttered about being gay and gay sex and dick sucking and all. So I had a bit of a homophobic thing going, but I still longed to do it.

Another time I tried it years later, I was a senior in college. I'd jerked off plenty, but now I'd been around other guys and seen their cocks and was feeling more like a maverick. I had my own off-campus apartment, too, so there wasn't anyone around to make me feel self-conscious.

I bet most guys have tried it the way I did. I got down on the floor and positioned my lower back against the bed, to support my legs in the upright position over my upper body. I was super horny this one night, too. I think I'd gone running that day or something because my testosterone must have been higher than usual.

Carefully, carefully, I put my legs over my head, watching my penis - longer now than in years past - dangle over my face. My eyes were laser-focused on it, as I was lusting after myself. I wanted my own penis and the nice, eight-inch shaft it had swelled to, with a full, fat crown waiting to be drawn between my lips, to sit on my awaiting, salivating tongue.

I found myself drawing my breath in, so as to allow my back to curl more, and to bring my cock ever closer to my lips and face. It got to about three inches and I could sense the heat coming off my shaft and that drove me wilder than ever.

I pushed my lower back with my hands as I continued to lean against the bed. It was not comfortable, being in this weird upright position. But it was hot. I pushed a little more until...

I just couldn't move my cock closer anymore. I tried tilting my head forward to touch it. Stuck my tongue out, tried to catch the tip of the crown's skin, nothing. This would not be my night.

I continued to watch more online videos and clips of guys self sucking, watching their technique, analyzing what they were doing. I never saw any clear pattern. Some guys were built to do it, others were gifted, against the odds. But seeing them blow in their faces kept me hungry.

One spring afternoon, after I'd graduated, I was home - different apartment, no longer on-campus. I lived in a really small apartment complex - maybe six or seven individual units. But this particular afternoon, none of my neighbors seemed to be home. Maybe it was that it was a pretty day or something was going on downtown. Whatever the case, I was really by myself, and I had this feeling of mischief come over me.

There are some people who say that guys shouldn't suck their own penises, that sucking your own penis is morally wrong. I guess I recall all the echoes of those attitudes, and I was just determined to be a rebel.

I was in shorts and a T-shirt. Peeled the shorts off so my lower half was naked. Got on my bed rather than on the floor. Pointed my butt toward the wall and scooted forward so I could hike my legs up over my head again in an outward "V". The familiar sight of my pubic area and cock dangling over my face greeted me.

For a few moments, I didn't do anything. I just looked at my penis and lusted. I just felt myself having a really lecherous attitude. My penis was close to nine inches erect, and almost as thick as a banana around. It would be a mouthful for someone giving blow jobs.

And in the quiet of my apartment and the whole complex, I listened to my breath, almost panting, just loving my cock. The full, bulging crown and frenulum. The thick girth of it. The decent sized piss slit on the front of it. And the way it just teased me, mocking me, saying "You know you want me, come and get me."

My cock was about three inches from my face again. I found myself relaxing my lower back a bit. This seemed to do something, as the shaft bobbed a little closer to my mouth. I stuck my tongue out to lick it...nothing.

I drew my breath in just a little more, not quite holding it, but close. Relaxed my lower back just a little bit more. The head of my penis was closer now, maybe an inch away. So, so close. Oh, man, I've just gotta do this, I thought to myself.

One more time, I scooted my butt a little closer to wall to tighten up my body. I stiffened my legs, pointing my legs outward, stretching them a little bit. My tongue was so close to the head. It edged down, down, down, my tongue stretched out, salivating to reach it...

And finally, the tip of my tongue touched the upper part of my crown, near the slit. It was warm, it was skin. It was my penis. More excited, I stretched my legs a little more, and the head bobbed down just a little bit more. Now the upper part of the head was between my lips. I lovingly and sensually took the slit part of the head into my lips, gently licking it with my tongue tip.

I was licking my penis! There wasn't any precum yet, so there wasn't anything to taste but skin, but it was so hot! I stiffened my legs to try to push semen upwards toward my balls and cum muscles. It wasn't as hard as it sounded because I was super horny now.

I playfully licked the tip of my cock, pushing it back and forth, up and down. I drew a little bit more of my shaft into my mouth, feeling my tongue massage the upper part of the crown. I pushed the shaft up to the roof my mouth carefully, feeling the area behind my front teeth rubbed by the lower part of the frenulum.

I just stayed there for several minutes, licking and sucking the top of my penis as if I was getting to know someone else. It was kind of playful, my mouth and tongue playing with my shaft and cock head in this little erotic, playful dance of body parts.

And then...I was able to draw the whole head of my cock into my mouth, between my waiting lips, with my moistened tongue ready to tease it. I began to taste something I couldn't identify. I figured this was precum. I drew my shaft out of my mouth and saw a clear strand of a stringy fluid. Yep, that was precum. Oh, man.

More insistently now, I began to lick, slurp and suck the head of my penis, which felt better and better the more firmly I did it. My tongue worked the top part of my shaft and now the sides, also. I shut my eyes and just worked it, occasionally grunting with pleasure while continuing to feel semen rising up my upraised legs going toward my cum muscles and balls.

I shut my eyes tighter and got into a rhythm, gently bobbing my head back and forth. At one point, I think I actually said inside my head, I love you, penis. It became a mantra. I love you, penis. I love you, penis. I love you, penis.

And then suddenly, in a pretty firm blast, my mouth was filled with another new, warm, and unfamiliar fluid. Thick, syrupy, cloudy white, and a little bitter. It was my semen. My semen. The white-gray stuff that usually coated my hand or pooled in my bellybutton after ejaculating.

My mind had two thoughts in the same moment. The first was a split-second of disgust: a kind of "eeewwwww" as globs of cum hit my tongue. But it was quickly replaced by an even stronger sensation of lust, the knowledge that I was coming in my own mouth, and several globs of it, too. And I was swallowing it as it hit.

By the fourth squirt I had pulled my penis out of my mouth, causing another glob to coat my lips and space beneath my nose. I paused there for a moment and carefully craned my neck to look at myself in a full-length mirror that was nearby, off to the side. I had sucked my own penis, come in my mouth, and gotten semen on my face.

I lay there, quietly panting. I drew my fingers across the slippery mess I'd made on my face, drawing my finger away and reveling in a thick string of cum that dangled from my fingers as I gently moved my fingers back and forth slightly. My semen is the kind I love - thick enough that it's not watery - it can dangle endlessly from the edge of a finger in the air current of a fan, defiantly refusing to break and fall on my chest.

And then a sly smile crossed my face. I had sucked my own penis. I had come in my mouth. I had come on my face. I was officially a pervert.

I could not have been happier.