The First Timers Club Pt. 04

"I know, I know..."

"Why her?" Ashley asked, dismayed. "Of all the people in the world you could have told, why would you tell her?"

Courtney piled on. "You're fucking scum, you know that? I should kick your fucking ass is what I should do, you lying piece of shit cocksucker!"

"Stop it! Just stop it!"

The scream echoed through the cavernous room and everyone quieted in an instant. I looked up to see Brittney standing, red faced, tears streaming down her cheeks. She held her balled fists at her side and her entire body shook violently, making her voice so tremulous she had difficulty speaking.

"S-sit the f-f-fuck d-down!" she finally managed to get out.

"Brit?" asked Courtney alarmed. She stared at her friend who looked to barely be holding herself together.

"Y-y-you sh-shut your f-fucking mouth, C-courtney Bellinore, or s-so help me god, I'll f-fucking shut it for you."

"B-but, Brit. This fucker..."

Brittney deepened her voice and yelled at the top of her lungs, "I SAID, SIT THE FUCK DOWN, BITCH!"

The color drained from Courtney's face and her ass came down onto the couch so fast, she nearly missed the edge of the cushion and had to catch herself to keep from hitting the floor. Brittney's eyes blazed with hellfire and we all looked in awe at how fierce and intimidating her six-foot, two hundred twenty pound frame appeared when she was angry. And Brittney looked angrier than I'd ever seen anyone look before in my life.

She shifted her gaze to me and I nearly shit myself.

"You! T-tell me right now, are you t-telling us the t-truth?"

I swallowed hard. "Yes," I said, but it was hardly even a whisper.

Her eyes narrowed and slowly moved to the slider and the house beyond. Her voice became as hard and cold as steel.

"I'm going to f-fucking murder that bitch!" she snarled and stalked to the door.

Ashley screamed, "No Brittney, don't!"

"Stop her!" shouted Courtney.

I jumped to my feet and raced to cut her off and block her way. Brittney stopped short.

"Get out of my way," she said. Her voice had lost some of its edge.

"Brittney, please don't," I said as calmly as I could, and her expression softened.

"But she..." Then her eyes flared again and tears poured down her cheeks. "She has to pay for what she did!"

"I know, babe. I know." I took her hand. "Come on. Come back with me. Let's go figure out what we're going to do about it. But not this, okay? Not this."

I led her back to the sectional, and when everyone had settled, I sat back down on the coffee table to face them.

"Listen, I know I fucked up, and I should never have told her those things, but I'm telling you guys I was drugged, okay?" I drove my fist into my palm. "That fucking happened. Just like some creeper dropping a roofie into your drink at a bar, that bitch spiked my whiskey. I know it. I fucking tasted it and I even told her I thought the drink tasted like shit. Then, later, she told me some fucked up story about how she and Clay did peyote or some shit way up in the mountains of Bolivia or Guatemala or whatever, and I'm pretty sure that whatever she was talking about is what she put in my drink."

Ashley's eyes grew wide. "Wait. Was it Colombia?" she asked and my scalp prickled.

"Yeah, that's right. She did say Colombia."

"Oh my fucking god," she breathed, standing up and putting the heel of her hand against her forehead. "She's told that story before. At a party once. She and my dad did ayahuasca together..."

"That's it! That's exactly it! She said they did it in some...some fucking village outside of..." I repeatedly snapped my fingers.

"Bogota!" we said together.

Ashley smiled. "Yes!" she said breathlessly, then her smile faded. "Holy shit. You are telling the truth. She really did drug you."

The relief I felt that she finally believed me must have shown on my face, because her eyebrows parted and she rushed forward to throw her arms around my shoulders.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you," she said, squeezing me tightly. "It all just sounded..."

"Crazy?" I offered, and she squeezed me tighter.

"I was going to say, 'like bullshit,' but crazy works too."

Courtney moved her eyes from me to Brittney and back again. She looked morose. She held out her hand and opened her mouth but didn't seem to know what to say.

"It's okay," I said.

She shook her head and stood to wrap her arms around both me and Ashley. "I'm really fucking sorry, dude."

"I know you were just protecting them," I said, my voice muffled by the pair of breasts mashed against my face. "You're a good friend to them."

They released me from their embrace and sat back down. I looked at Kayla, but she wouldn't be so easily mollified. She'd bared her soul to me and shared her deepest, darkest fantasies and I'd told them all to Erin. It didn't matter that I'd been under the influence. The damage had been done and I didn't know if she'd ever trust me with anything like that again.

Brittney sat with her shoulders slumped and her hands clasped between her knees. Her violent outburst had run its course and left her flattened. I put my hand on her knee and she smiled weakly, but she, like Kayla and the others, now had to deal with the knowledge that Erin held their most sensitive secrets and that I had been the one to give them to her, no matter how unwitting of an accomplice I may have been.

"What are we going to do now?" Ashley wondered, and I wasn't sure if she meant in general or specifically about her mother. I assumed the latter. I stood and paced around the area in front of the television.

"She's not going to tell anyone else. I'm pretty sure of that," I said, trying to consider the potential fallout from my disclosure. "So, hopefully it doesn't go past her. At best, she just wanted to know and that's where it ends."

"And at worst?" Kayla asked.

"At worst? She might try to use it against us somehow. Most likely, against me."

"Use it against us? How?" asked Courtney, alarmed.

"She's a manipulative bitch. If she thinks she can use what she knows to get something she wants, then she just might do it. I honestly don't know, though. I'm not sure how far she'd be willing to go. Before this morning, I wouldn't have said too far, but now? Pfft, who knows?"

The implications were disturbing, and the girls exchanged worried glances. How might Erin use their secrets against them? Or against their friends? Manipulation? Extortion? Anything and everything was on the table at this point.

I decided to address the elephant in the room.

"There's a bigger question. Can you guys ever trust me again? And, if not, does that mean we need to stop what we're doing and go our separate ways?"

Brittney's head shot up. "Stop? Why would we want to stop?" she asked, panicked.

"Because, I was the leak. If it wasn't for me, none of you would ever have discussed those things and gotten them out in the open and Erin wouldn't know about them now. If we continue, then that's going to create even more opportunities for other things to come out.

"Either that, or everyone's going to just clam up because no one will ever feel safe saying anything too personal or private." I looked at Kayla. "Or feel comfortable exploring their wild side and all the amazing things that really gets them off and brings them pleasure."

Silence filled the room as they considered the consequences of that kind of repression and self-censorship.

I wound up my hand. "Or..."

"Or, what?" Courtney asked.

"Or, we say fuck it and just go on with our lives and we don't let Erin's childish games prevent us from doing whatever we want. These things only have the power over us we give them, so let's not give them any. Erin knows some things about us? Okay, so what? Fuck her. Personally, I couldn't care less."

Courtney nodded agreement. "That fat bitch can eat a bag of dicks, for all I care. Sorry, Ash."

Ashley didn't look so certain. "That's easy for you guys to say. She's my mom. I have to live with her."

"Ashley, your mom already knows what we're up to in here," I reminded her. "She set the whole damn thing up, remember? So, at this point, who cares what else she may or may not know, right? Fuck it. You may as well have fun."

Ashley shook her head and fumed. "God, I can't believe her! What an absolute psycho bitch."

"I think it's because she's jealous of you," I said, and her eyes whipped to mine.

"My mom? Jealous of me?"

"Oh, yeah. I think she wishes she was in here instead of you. She all but said it to me. I don't think she can stand that her quote-unquote 'loser' daughter and her friends are in here getting fucked by a big dick, while she's stuck inside doing laundry. I think it's killing her, and the best way to get back at her is to keep doing it."

That possibility brought vengeful smiles to the girls' faces.

Ashley smirked. "You know what would be awesome? We should have sex right in front of her, just so we can see the look on her face," she said, and I raised my eyebrow.

"Wow. Yeah, that would be awesome," I said. "Let's do it."

She stared at me and twisted her mouth into an embarrassed smile, then scoffed. "No, I was just joking!" she said.

I shrugged. "But what if you weren't? What could she do? Nothing. You're an adult. You can fuck whoever you want, whenever you want, and she can't do shit about it. You want power over your mom? That's how you get it. Show her what she can never have."

Ashley coughed out a laugh but didn't respond. I let her marinate on the idea while I turned my attention to Kayla.

"I know you're hurt and betrayed and I don't blame you, but just between you and me, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. I loved fucking you last night, Kayla. You are so fucking hot and you turn me on like very few have, baby girl, and I think you're one sexy little bitch, so I hope you don't let anyone ever make you feel bad or self-conscious about yourself, okay?"

Kayla stared at me and slowly nodded. "Okay," she said.

I addressed the group. "So, what's everyone thinking? Do you want to call it quits, or should we keep going? Or would you prefer I go, so you can all discuss it privately and let me know later?"

Brittney straightened her back and said, "Well, I already said I don't want to quit, so..."

Courtney nodded. "Yeah. No offense, Ash, but your mom's a flaming cunt. Fuck her. I'm in."

Kayla looked at me and nodded. She wanted to keep going too. I looked at Ashley, her jaw set.

"I told you what I wanted up in my room the other day. As far as I'm concerned, nothing's changed. So yeah, let's do it."

I put my hands together and nodded to them. "I appreciate you guys still having faith in me. I'll try not to let you down again."

"Just don't accept any more drinks from her, and you should be fine," Courtney said with a smile.

"Thanks for the advice," I said. "So, what would you all like to do with the rest of our day?"