by thetaboofruit
Firstly, siblings of that age sharing a bed?
Secondly, you really need a proof reader!
Thirdly, not a bad start! Keep going.
I think you are doing alright. This could be a hot sexy story. Interested to know why they are sleeping in the same bed though at their age.
More of a prelude. Waiting for next chapter. Proof read, slow down and keep going.
Yeah, that's a little hard to believe, but it sure makes plot development much easier. This is gonna get good. I am not a big fan of one page chapters. I gave you a 5 because I can see what is to come.
I am eagerly waiting for chapter 2. Good one for a first timer. :) Adios!