The Fragile Heart

Her eyes are red. My sweet Bella has been crying. "Oh, Roger, it's awful! Andy has a huge fucking crush on me and doesn't want to come over and be my friend anymore."

I stride up to her and sweep her into my embrace. "Oh, darling, you may be blowing this out of proportion. I seriously doubt he has a huge fucking crush on you. A huge talking crush, a huge hand holding crush, maybe a huge kissing crush, but certainly not a huge fucking crush. Don't force our little one to grow up too fast. I've been getting off on the idea of your finally getting a childhood, of your finally getting to have one little innocent schoolgirl valentine."

Bella pulls back from my hug to face me, her bright blue eyes piercing into mine. "Andy doesn't want a valentine. Andy wants to kiss me. How do you feel about that?"

She doesn't know it, but I've had all day to accept how I feel about it. I didn't get any work done after reading those emails on my laptop.

Biting the bullet, and ignoring the inexplicable raging boner in my pants, I kiss my wife on her forehead. "My dear. The only way to get rid of a hole is to fill it in. Andy has such a fragile heart, and it's bleeding right now since his parents died. You represent some sense of being loved as a child. It's all mixed up with his childhood crush. Give him some sense of requited love, even if it's puppy love. Quit thinking like a grown up. Think like a school kid. Hold hands with him. Hug him every now and then. Let him call you his girlfriend."

Bella is adorably cute. Her blush surprises me. "That's all nice, but Andy is obsessed with kissing me. What do I do about that?"

Half of my brain thinks I'm being wise. The other half thinks I'm being cruel. "Let him be satisfied with what you're willing to give him. When he realizes you're acting like a little girl with him, he won't try to corrupt you or make you grow up too fast. Since you're treating him as a little boy, let him treat you as a little girl."

Bella giggles. "What if I treat Andy like a little girl?"

Wow. I sigh. "Don't go there. Gender confusion aside, I don't think Andy wants the BFF zone. He wants grade school romance, like when you were his piano teacher. Give him that. He should calm down and be a good friend for you. Don't forget where it all started out. It's puppy love. He's hanging onto childhood by savoring his last crush of childhood. Just be careful not to make any promises you can't keep. Andy has such a fragile heart."

* * * *

Apr-12. I can't believe you wrote back, after my awkward mess. I'm still scared I'm going to blow it and piss everybody off. I can't help how I feel about you. I'll be honest. Your wanting to be my third grade girlfriend is a dream come true. I guess one never fully grows up. It'll be my honor to come over every day and hold hands with you. Of course I'll be dreaming every night of kissing you. If that thought grosses you out, tell me to go home when I get there tomorrow. Some things never change. C-Ya. Andy.

* * * *

Walking in the door, I greet her. "Hi dear. What have you two been up to today?"

My beloved bride is wide-eyed. "We held hands. I agreed to be Andy's girlfriend. It was so innocent, and the whole time I was so wet! Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

Taking a deep breath, I do my best at damage control. "Feeling is not doing. We can have dreams that make us feel, and we don't have any control over those dreams. It's what you do that decides where you're going. You didn't kiss him did you?"

She sighs. "No...but I really wanted to. Roger, this is crazy. We spend all day talking, staring into each other's eyes, and now holding hands."

"Well how is it? What's it like holding hands with Andy?"

"Sweaty. I think I was blushing more than half the time. You want this to be innocent, but honey, I had to run to the bathroom and put in a tampon just to keep from drooling all over the couch. Your wife might not be quite as innocent as her piano student."

"Just remember, Bella. Feeling is not doing. You get wet watching chick flicks with me."

"You're right. Kate and Leopold makes me a puddle. I promise not to lead my little student astray. Letting Andy corrupt me, that's another matter. No guarantees about that. You're playing with fire."

Startled, I analyze her face. That naughty grin comforts me. "You're so bad!"

* * * *

Super heroes change into costume slower than I just took that shower. Arriving at the bed, a strange sight greets me. A TV dinner tray stands beside the bed, with a plate covered by a bowl. Beside them stands an empty glass. Bella waves me to the bed. "Sit."

I do. She gives me her next instruction. "Watch." I do.

My sweet loyal wife lifts the bowl, revealing four very bloated used tampons. It's not her period, and those tampons aren't red in the least. This is fascinating.

My dear wife gives me my next instruction. "Squeeze all four tampons like limes into the glass."

I do. There's a LOT of fluid pouring out into the glass. By the time I'm done with the fourth, the glass is far from empty.

Bella gives another command. "Smell the glass."

I do. My head is spinning. It's her arousal. Holy FUCK! She's been wet all day!

"Now you know what I'm dealing with. It's all innocent for Andy. Not for your wife. It's driving me out of my fucking mind with arousal. Fuck me. Don't you dare try any of your wonderful foreplay. All day long being wet is foreplay enough. Fuck me now. Fuck me hard!"

Don't have to tell me twice. I didn't realize it, but it's not easy for her these days. It's like watching porn. You're not that hot for the actress, but the subject matter is hot. It makes you so crazy you have to attack your wife with your best loving or you'll go fucking nuts. Now it's happened to her. I guess innocent dating is the woman's equivalent to porn.

My clothes replaced with a condom, I'm hovering over her. She grabs me, lifts me with super-human strength, slams me down on the bed beside her and climbs over me, sinking my massive cock in one loud slurp. I'm inside a very wet pussy.

Now she's taking me, almost brutally fucking me. The sheer savage wildness of it is boiling my nuts, lighting up my cock and making my brain fry. I'm already close to coming. It's almost like these sensations are pouring off of her. Well, pussies do taste electric when they come, so her nerves might be like radio to mine. All I know is we're both almost there.

"OH FUUUCCKKK! OH, YES! ANNNNDYYYYYY!!!!!!" She screams out at the top of her lungs. As I'm squirting into her, my brain is in shock. My eyes dart all over her face for clues. She's not embarrassed, ashamed or the slightest bit remorseful. Fucker. What a delightful little tease my wife can be.

When my breath finally returns to me, I pant out. "You said 'Andy' on purpose, just to squeeze an extra gallon of goo out of my nuts."

She gives me that little miss innocent look that always makes me laugh. "Whatever are you talking about, Sir? I called out your name, as I always do."

Her grin is so naughty, it's almost wicked. And I do mean only almost. I know she's a good woman. The way she messes with my head, I know I've met my match. I love her so!

Chapter 4. The Crush Grows Up.

This overtime was supposed to end in May. It's almost the end of June now. The only one spending any time with Bella is Andy. They've been seeing each other at least four hours a day for almost three months...talking, gazing into each other's eyes and holding hands. This all started out with Bella getting inside a young person's head to gain a young adult perspective in her writing. It's turned into a full-blown romance. My wife dresses for him, does her makeup in youthful restraint. This has taken a decade off her age, as if she weren't already hot enough. She makes love to me with an almost savage zeal. I wonder how much of that is him getting her hot and crazy by the time I get home. I'm amazed Bella hasn't started kissing him yet. So is Andy, apparently. Based on these three emails, he's confident enough to do something about that.

Jun-22-7:23AM. My dear Bella, I'm going out of my mind. I can't see you cause I don't trust myself not to try to kiss you. I can't stop thinking about you. I fall into your amazing eyes. Your luscious breasts defy gravity and time. Your soft lips, and your subtle intoxicating scent pull me toward kissing you. When I first came to see you, I had one purpose. I wanted to set this whole thing behind me, to prove it was nothing more than puppy love. Seeing you again showed me how truly fucked I really am. I'm in love with a woman who's married to the most wonderful man in the universe. I could never compete with that. I'd never want to. Goodness deserves goodness, and from all those long stories you told me about him, Roger walks on water. You deserve someone that nice in your life. Don't worry about me. C-Ya. Andy.

Jun-22-8:06AM. My dear, I didn't mean anything scary by don't worry about me. I just meant it's not your problem that I'm so obsessed with you. It's my childhood creeping up on me. I've dreamed of kissing you all my life, and then I see you in the flesh. You know, just looking at you is like a passing-out big O. I'm afraid if I see you, I'll end up kissing you. That would make my life complete, but Roger doesn't deserve that kinda crap in his. That's why I can't see you anymore. C-Ya. Andy.

Jun-22-8:41AM. I'm so sorry, my darling, I was being selfish. I had no idea you felt this way about me too. We've come a long way together so quickly. Of course I'll come see you. I'll still be a kid, but a Junior High kid. That means holding hands and kissing, but no touching boobs. I'll be right over. C-Ya. Andy.

If I'm to keep a lid on this, I have to maintain my position as gatekeeper. I won't allow her any precedent of going behind my back. A preemptive strike is in order.

Dear Bella. Three email messages in one day was a surprise. I've read all three. You have my blessing to escalate it to Junior High Crush, defined as Andy did. Kiss but no boobs. We'll talk when I get home about how you're feeling and where this is going. C-Ya. Roger.

And now I have one more piece of unfinished business. I'm on my way to interrupt the board meeting.

* * * *

Busting through the doors, I command the room's attention. "Gentlemen, Ladies, and people who've proven to be neither. Your attorneys cussed you out for signing my red-inked invention agreement. This is why. I'll no longer put in overtime. I'm in love with my wife. She's still in love with me, and I intend to keep it that way."

Chairman Withers blusters. "Surely you're not going to walk out on your position, and all your inventions here."

I stare him down, making him shrivel slightly. "Read the agreement and weep. All but complete executables are part of my tool kit. If I walk, I walk owning all the technology, and you only get to keep the most recent runnable code. You've been looking over your shoulder at Exicare. They'd be a crappy place to work, but they'll happily license my code from me as my first customer. This company used to treat me with integrity and respect. This recent overtime push is bullshit and you know it. You're desperate to give your numbers a false lift by the end of the quarter. If you'd let me roll out the full product as designed, we'd have captured the market. I'm going home at five today. If any of you have a problem with that, update your fucking resumes. This company will go belly up when I refuse to license any of my new code to it."

To my surprise, Edwin Garcia, the CEO, launches a round of applause. What else can I do? I bow, blow kisses and exit the boardroom. Fucking Edwin. I always liked him.

* * * *

"Honey, we need to talk." I smile at her comment. That's the understatement of the century. I'm not envious of young Andy's exciting crush on my wife. I feel that too. I'm envious of his being able to spend long hours talking with her every day. I'm going to learn from that, and start dating her at night, just to talk.

I lead with my big left foot, of course. "That's right, Bella. We need to talk. Every night. We need to talk as much as you and Andy talk. I'm taking you out on a date every night from now on. I told the board to suck it. I've quit doing overtime. Get ready. Pretty please."

"Well, my noble heart Roger. How can I refuse an offer like that? See you downstairs in an hour. Formal, slutty or both?"

I chuckle. She always loved asking me that. "Both, of course." And that's how I'd always answer her. Now I add one more comment. "I'm intensely proud of being married to you. Not to own you, but just that you want to be with me."

Bella's eyes get wide and bright. "Let's save some of the heart of that matter for the dinner table. You know we need to talk about Andy. I like the idea of making it a romantic experience, just as you've intended all of this to be."

"You know me too well, my Lady."

"Better than you think, Sir Knight."

* * * *

Bella turns heads. Her red body suit dress is making everyone in the restaurant drool, especially me. This living, beautiful creature I live with is happy to be with me every night. So what if she has a little friend who comes to spend all his time with her. Now it's time to grab the bull by the horns. We don't need to spend long talking about him, but we do need to deal with whatever she's feeling about all this.

Bella beats me to it. She knows me well. "For months now, Andy has spent about four hours with me every weekday. Today, since your surprising email, we spent most that time kissing. Have you any idea what you've done to me?"

She's panting, clearly aroused. It's got me hard as a rock. "What have I done to you, dear? Allowed you to have a new best friend? Someone who enjoys kissing?"

Taking my hands in hers, my wife speaks softly, very clearly. "What exactly did you expect to happen? You encouraged me to fall in love with my old piano student. This is serious, Roger. I've discovered I can be in love with two people at once, without loving either any less. This weekend, Andy is renting a hotel room. I'll be getting a keycard in the mail. I need to ask you something I never thought I'd ask."

My heart is hammering in my chest. No love is trivial. I did this to her. I deal with the consequences. I know what she's going to ask. "Go ahead and ask me."

"Roger, may I have your blessing to spend all weekend away from you, making love with Andy?"

My face is a cold sweat. "When your weekend with Andy is over, will you come home to me? Will you still love me? Will you still want me, and be my wife?"

"Oh, yes, honey. I told you I won't love you any less. We'll still need to make room in our schedule for my making love with Andy, sometimes having sleepovers. Once I start, I'm not giving it up. So think carefully before you give me your blessing. You'll be sharing me forever. You were so worried about Andy having a fragile heart. You never considered just how fragile mine is. It's too late. I'm over my head in love with two wonderful, noble people. May I have your blessing to go off and spend this whole weekend making love with one of my true loves?"

I love her so much, there's only one thing I can do. "Of course, my darling. I want you to be happy in life. You need Andy now, like you need me. I don't know how we'll make this work, but we will. I promise you we will. You can need, want, love and make love with Andy. Just don't stop needing, wanting, loving and making love with me. That's all I ask."

"You've got yourself a deal, Mister. Now let's finish our date, so you can take me home and take me to bed. We have three more nights until this body belongs to my sweet little piano student with the fragile heart."

* * * *

As I walk her to the door of the hotel, I try to give her a little golden gift bag. "I know your cycle, Bella. You'll be glad I remembered these."

She looks inside it, and presses it onto my chest. "No, Roger. We won't be using any condoms. When I went off the pill we were supposed to start a family. You started overtime instead. I'm not going through all that alone, so we started using condoms. With Andy in my life, I'll never be alone again. We're going to make love in full, total intimacy, and let nature take its course. You pushed us into this ride, and we're going to take it wherever it carries us. We're all in this together, as equals. Now go home and think about what you've done, young man."

As she turns and goes in, I lose sight of her. My three most important sexual organs are at war with each other. My cock is painfully hard, probably purple, no doubt leaking from the tip. That thing is such a traitor. My heart is broken, in horrific pain, hoping I've not lost my wife forever. My brain is telling me things will be different now, but still loving. I WILL have to share my wife from now on. There's a young man with raging hormones and a lot of time on his hands, who's madly in love with my wife. And she's so in love with him too, she's gone off to make love with him all weekend instead of me. And she's ovulating. Nothing left to do now but drive home and go for a world record of masturbation.

* * * *

It's been six hours since I dropped her off. The least she could do is call me and let me know she still loves me. I promised myself I'd wait for her call. Alas, she expects me to serve up the last of my dignity on a silver tray to her, asking her if she still loves me.

So be it. I dial. Her phone startles the crap out of me on the kitchen counter. She left her phone behind. She clearly does not wish to be disturbed. She doesn't care how that makes me feel. Now my analytical brain is starting to agree with my broken heart. It's over. I've lost her.

Chapter 5. Awakening.

The house is a total wreck. Used snot tissues from my crying cover the floor like a kid's ball pit. Every photo album is out and staring me in the face, open to some sweet page when my wife's heart was all mine. I've been searching. I finally found it. It was on my own laptop the whole time. The Christmas party picture. She felt so bad I missed it, being on the road, she sent me that photo of all her piano students in one group. My only clue is what Bella let slip. She called Andy her 'little blond friend'. Zooming in on the picture, I thank God for high resolution and auto focus. There he is. There's only one blond dude in the whole bunch, hugging his sister apparently. I like that. I bet he protected her through some horrific abuse. Now at least I have some mental picture of the gorgeous blond hunk squirting a baby into my wife this weekend.

That does it. There's only one thing left to do.

Dear Andy. I'm probably the last person you expect to hear from, but you know it was inevitable. It's me, Roger, the kid with the horrible crush on your new wife Bella. If I type bad, please forgive me. I've been crying for eight hours. Now I know how you felt. I've never had a gay bone in my body, but if that's what it takes for us all to be happy together, I'll quit the man-club and join the LGBT club in a heartbeat. If you find me disgusting, please be kind. I've been kind to you. Look, I don't know you, but if my Bella loves you, then you must be some kind of wonderful. Maybe someday you'll find it in your heart to kiss me too. Please come home, Andy. You need to live with us. I'm willing to be a sister wife, or whatever you call it. I refused to let you feel forsaken and alone in this universe. Now I desperately beg the same of you. I was so sure you were the most fragile heart. I was so wrong. It was never you. It was always me. I'm the fragile heart. I'm in your hands now, for love or destruction. Your Roger.

And send. My marriage, as I know it, is over. So is my life. I never realized that taking up my cross and being an unselfish lover could get me crucified. It doesn't matter. There's only one way I know how to love...completely. It is what it is. Take what comes.