The Friends List Ch. 04

"You okay, babe?" I asked loudly.

Sam's face showed immediate relief as she threw her arms around me. "I'm glad you're back, sweetie." She gave me a big kiss, which I knew was for show, but still, in my drunken state my cock liked the feel of her lips on mine.

The guy looked me up and down, like he was evaluating if he wanted a fight, before he quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, bro. I didn't realize she was taken."

As he slunk off into the crowd, Sam turned to face me, her arms still around me. "Thanks, Peter."

"Are you okay?"

She winced. "It wouldn't be a bar night without some light sexual assault, right?"

"Do you want to go?"

Sam nodded and pulled me tighter. I still had no idea where Tom was, so I quickly texted him that we were leaving and stumbled home with Samantha in tow. She was very quiet on the short walk back, silent even, but I thought it best to just leave her be and let her come to me if she needed to.

The house was empty when we got back, which meant Tom was still out somewhere, and Clarence had apparently gone to the girl's place. I gave her another big hug before we bid each other a quiet goodnight and I retreated to my room, falling asleep quickly on top of the covers of my bed.

I slept late the next morning, waking close to lunch time with a mild hangover. I guzzled a couple glasses of water in the bathroom before heading out to the living room. Tom had made it home on his own and was up, in his bathrobe, looking none the worse for wear.

"How you doing this morning?" I asked.

"I'm a fucking champion," he responded. "By which I mean I'm hung over, but fuck it. I'm working at noon, so I gotta get moving. I've gone to work still drunk before. Half the staff does on Sundays."

Tom worked at a greasy spoon restaurant as a server, and I knew he was telling the truth. "Good luck."

"Thanks. Did you hook up with Sam?"

"No."

I'd previously told him the basics of my summer so far, and he looked at me quizzically. "She's not the one who likes you, then?"

"I don't know what to think."

Just then I heard a toilet flush, and we instinctively stopped talking as Sam appeared. She looked hung over and yet still somehow put together. I'd never seen her without makeup on or her hair done, but I thought if anything she looked even prettier in a natural state, her beauty shining through the bleariness in her eyes. And I could tell both Tom and I instantly noticed her tits somehow defying gravity under her thin nightshirt.

"Good morning," I called out brightly.

"Ugh," Sam grunted. "You have any coffee in this place?"

I pointed at a jar of Nescafe on the counter. "Only instant. These philistines don't buy the real stuff when I'm not around."

Sam rolled her eyes. "It'll do. When do you want to head home?"

"I'm in no rush, you?"

"No, I'd just like to be home by bedtime tonight."

"We'll have the house to ourselves. Tom's heading to work, and Clarence apparently scored last night. He hasn't returned."

"Good for him. I'm going to grab a quick shower."

An hour or so later, we'd both showered, dressed, and Tom had left for work. I made real coffee from my stash I had hidden in my room and sat down with Sam on the couch in the empty house. Sam looked lovely even dressed down, wearing a baggy sweatshirt and yoga pants with her hair in a messy ponytail, but she still seemed quiet and withdrawn, so I decided to reach out and ask.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

She sighed deeply. "I'm trying not to let it bother me as much as it wants to. I was having such a fun night with you guys, and then the one moment I was left alone for a split second, some douchebag wearing too much cologne decided I wanted his cock ground into my leg."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

"That even doesn't bother me that much. Like it does, of course it does, but it's a sexually-charged atmosphere in there, whatever. I don't mind someone taking a shot. What bothers me is the fact that he only stopped when he thought you were my boyfriend. A woman's 'no' isn't enough, but a man's 'no' is worthy of respect. That's some bullshit."

I thought for a moment. "Yeah. I don't have anything more to add to that. But yes it is."

"Thank you for protecting me last night," Sam continued. "It shouldn't have been necessary, but it was, and I really do appreciate it."

"Oh, of course. You looked uncomfortable. I didn't even think, I just jumped in."

Sam focused on her mug for a long time, staring at the steam slowly rising from the cup. "You asked me yesterday why I've never been in love. I'll tell you the story now, if you want to hear it," she finally said.

"Only if you're comfortable sharing, but yes, of course I'd like to hear."

Sam took a deep breath. "I lost my virginity in the back seat of Tyler Stinson's older brother's car. We weren't dating at the time. He asked me out to see a movie, and after it ended we went somewhere quiet to make out. I hadn't been planning to have sex with him. I'd barely been to second base with a boy at that point in my life. But things heated up back there, and..."

She paused, and I could see she was uncomfortable again. I took her free hand into mine for a moment, and she smiled.

"I wasn't raped, Peter. I wasn't pressured into anything. We both equally lost control under the influence of teenage hormones. It all happened so fast. One moment we were making out and his hand was up my shirt, and the next thing I knew he was inside me. For that brief moment, I wanted it. I was so turned on, and I was the aggressor as much as he was.

"It hurt a little once he got inside me, and I didn't even have time to get used to the feeling before he blew his load. I panicked because we didn't have any condoms and I was terrified of getting pregnant. We quickly threw clothes back on and he drove me home, and I threw up from stress, then I spent the next week desperately hoping my period would come on time. Which it did, thank God."

I waited. I somehow knew there was more.

"Lots of girls have shitty virginity stories. Whatever, mine's not much worse than other girls I know. But do you know what that asshole Tyler did after?"

I shook my head.

"He told the whole school about all these crazy sexual things I did. Apparently, we did all kinds of sex acts I'd never even heard of and had to look up on Urban Dictionary just to know what the hell people were saying about me. I was pretty innocent back then, but once you get a reputation, it doesn't matter what the reality is. The guys all thought I was an easy lay and expected me to fuck them, the girls hated me for being a whore. It was bad enough being resented for being well-off, but at least I understood that one, and I guess I kind of deserved it. It was hard being hated for something I wasn't."

"Jesus."

"And of course I tried to tell people he was a four-pump chump and that was all that happened between us, but no one believed me. People already had their minds made up about me, and I was never going to be able to overcome that. So I swore then and there that I'd never have sex again until I was out of that toxic high school environment."

I processed this. "So you've only ever had sex that once?"

"No. Remember, I've had a gap year. I went to Peru for two months over the winter, and I had a sort-of boyfriend down there. I don't know if you'd call it a friend with benefits situation or what. We never put a label on it. Then I went to Israel in May with Birthright and I had a brief fling there too with a nice Jewish boy from Calgary. I'm not kissing and telling, but both guys were decent human beings who cared about a woman's pleasure, and at least now I've had sex I don't regret.

"I'm not as innocent as I was a year ago, and I'm both emotionally and physically ready for university now. I'm not sure I would have been before. The gap year was great for my development in a lot of ways, not just in helping me be a better person by using my privilege to help the less fortunate."

"I see. I'm sorry that it took getting out of Guelph for you to let loose, and I'm glad you've at least had some good experiences."

"Me too. That's why I was looking forward to getting away for university. Everyone sleeps around in first year. All I want is for my sexuality and my decisions not to matter. And I think I had it in my head that it was going to be better at Queen's. It's too big a school for one girl to get a reputation, even if it is deserved.

"Dancing was fun, but I wasn't trying to get laid last night. There's no way I'd have brought some guy over to your house when you and the other boys were already doing me a favour. But even away for school, it seems that I can't escape shitty, toxic men trying to take what they want from me. All it took was you three all turning your back for one minute."

"I'm sorry I did."

"You shouldn't have to be sorry. It should be safe for a woman to be alone in a nightclub."

The room fell silent for a few moments.

"Let me give you a little more insight into my existence," she finally continued. "Do you know what it's like being pretty?"

I laughed a little. "I mean, obviously not."

Sam laughed too. "Handsome, fine. You're a good-looking guy. But I don't think it's the same for men. And before I begin, let me acknowledge how much of a bitch I'm about to sound like."

"Bitch away."

"I'm self-aware enough to know that men find me pretty. And they act so weird around me. There's basically two modes to how guys behave. One is they act intimidated. They get nervous, tongue-tied, say stupid things. The other is they go all domineering, arrogant. No guy has ever just hit on me in a normal way before. They either treat me like I'm this terrifying dragon, or they treat me like a trophy to be won."

"I mean, you're out of most guys' leagues, I'd think."

"That's such a stupid fucking concept," Sam spat angrily. "Just because I'm pretty means I can only be attracted to Ken dolls? I tend to be attracted to normal-looking boy next door types, smart, clever men with good senses of humour and caring personalities, but guys like that never hit on me because they disqualify themselves from contention."

"I mean, you are a ten," I interjected.

"Even if you accept that, and I don't, but even if you accept that I'm a ten, that doesn't mean I'm only attracted to male tens. I'm turned off by arrogance, vanity, and big muscles, and guys who act like they know how hot they are are the worst. I've just been hoping against hope that the regular guys at university would be different, somehow. And after last night I'm starting to believe they won't be. I'm just really disappointed."

"So, you're into smart, sensitive boys next door who treat you like a normal person?" I asked as I winked at her.

Sam blushed profusely, staring daggers straight ahead. I let the silence hang for a moment.

"Kirsten warned me how fucking smooth you can be," she finally mumbled.

"It was just a question," I protested innocently.

"Sure it was." She glanced over at me. "Do you think I'm a bitch?"

"No."

"No?"

"I think you're a highly intelligent, sensitive girl who's been hurt too many times by things you can't control, like your looks and your family's bank account. I think you're not a naturally guarded person, but you've learned how to be guarded to survive being a teenager, and you're looking forward to the moment you feel safe enough not to have to be guarded anymore. And I think you're realizing that people can be just as shitty at university as they were in high school, and you're feeling really devastated by that."

Sam remained silent for a long time. Finally, she glanced over at me. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"What do your friends think?"

"They're great. I really do have a great group of girlfriends. I'm not sharing anyone else's stories, but we've all had our own issues with boys and sex and dating over the years and we've been really supportive of each other. No matter how bad it got in high school, those girls had my back. It was hard to decide to leave them, to go away to school, but they've already kind of scattered throughout the province, or all the way to Boston. We still have a group chat where we commiserate about shitty men. And I'm trying not to let people's opinions of me matter as much as they once did. Kirsten has always been my best friend out of the group, and she thinks I need to find confidence within myself and not rely on the approval of others for my sense of self-worth."

"Do you?"

Sam shrugged. "Yep. But I've got a people-pleaser personality. It's how I was raised. I know that's not the healthiest way to be, but, well, I'm working on it. It's still hard to feel like my own needs matter."

"What about your other friends?"

"Vanessa thinks I need to get laid."

"Do you?"

Sam giggled. "Yes. It's been a while, and I've got the same needs as any other girl. But I can wait another couple weeks. Orientation is going to be a blast."

She suddenly arched her back, stretching with a groan and a look of discomfort on her face.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. I have chronic back pain from these boobs. I'm used to it."

"That sucks."

"Tell me about it. I've considered a breast reduction, but..." she trailed off.

"Yes?"

"I kind of like being the girl with the biggest tits in whatever room I walk into." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"There's some of that confidence from within yourself Kirsten was talking about."

"Very funny."

I had an idea. "If you're sore, would you like a back rub?"

Sam stopped in her tracks, staring at me. "Oh my goodness, yes I would. I haven't been to the RMT in forever."

"Let's go to the bedroom, then, so you can lay down comfortably. This couch isn't the softest."

Sam got up eagerly, then stopped short, catching herself. "You're a real smooth bastard, Peter. Did you engineer us to have this house empty this afternoon?"

"I swear I didn't, and I have no idea when Clarence will be home," I said truthfully.

"Uh huh." She shot me a knowing look, but she turned and headed for my room anyway. Once there, she climbed on top of my bed, laying face down, still fully clothed. I pulled up her sweatshirt a little and started running my hands across her warm, smooth skin.

"Is it your upper or lower back that's sore?"

"Upper, plus my shoulders and my neck," Sam mumbled into my pillow.

I ran my hands up her back, past her bra strap, and to her shoulders. I could feel knots of tension in her muscles.

"This might be easier if you took your shirt off, but I can get you a towel or a blanket to cover up," I offered.

Sam thought for a moment. "Sure."

I went and grabbed a towel and some baby oil from the bathroom, then returned to find Sam topless, sitting up in bed with my pillow covering her chest and a sweatshirt and pink bra on the floor. I handed her the towel and averted my eyes as she settled back into the bed. When she gave the signal, I turned back around. I couldn't see any of her private areas, but her back was now uncovered. I straddled her lower back and went to work.

The next twenty or so minutes passed in silence apart from Sam's muffled groans as I worked out the tension in her muscles. I'd never had any massage training, so I wasn't willing to dig in too deeply, but I knew I could loosen her up and make her feel a little better. I was careful to keep her as covered up with the towel as possible as I worked on whatever exposed skin I needed access to.

"Ohhhh, so good," she mumbled as I worked through a knot in her left shoulder.

When I'd finally finished working out the kinks in her back, I eased off and gave her a relaxation massage on her back for a while, then I moved on to her arms, rubbing the muscles from shoulder to hand in one arm and then the other. Sam was face down in my pillow, so I couldn't read her facial expressions, but I could tell from her gentle sighs that she was enjoying herself.

"Want me to keep going?" I asked nonchalantly as I finished her left arm.

"Sure," Sam groaned. "Turn your back."

I turned my back for a minute until Sam gave me the all clear, and when I turned around, she was still lying face down on the bed, but now the towel was only covering her butt and her leggings were on the floor. Her legs were now bare, and from the side I could see a hint of sideboob pressed into my bed. God, she's so pretty.

I started on her feet, but I quickly discovered she was ticklish, so instead I moved on to her legs. One at a time I rubbed up and down her smooth, bare legs, carefully avoiding going any higher than the towel line at her mid-thigh. I didn't feel the same tension in her legs as she was carrying in the rest of her body, but she seemed to be deeply enjoying the relaxation massage. Her moans weren't sexual, but were still deeply pleasurable.

Sam mumbled something into the pillow that I didn't catch.

"What's that?"

She turned her head. "Where did you learn to touch a girl like this?"

"I never learned officially. I know how to work a knot out, and I think I have some idea what feels good, but it's all guesswork. My ex used to ask for massages a fair bit."

"You totally know what you're doing. This is amazing. And so unexpected. You're really spoiling me."

My fingertips were inching closer to the towel on her thighs. I still wasn't really trying to turn the massage sexual, but I still was having no luck reading her signs and I couldn't tell if she was turned on or not. As for myself, I was too focused on what I was doing to be aroused, but I was so much enjoying exploring the most spectacular female body I'd ever laid eyes upon. Even her skin was flawless, and I hadn't seen any stretch marks or blemishes, just light freckles here and there.

"You can do my glutes if you want to," Sam suddenly offered.

"Your butt?"

"Yeah. Loads of tension there. You may as well not miss any."

I didn't have to be told twice. I let my hand drift under the towel - she was apparently still wearing panties - and then slid my hands underneath them, applying firm pressure to the soft flesh of her ass. I was careful to avoid her crack, but I was still trying to record the feel of her taut bottom in my memory banks for future use.

After a few minutes of feeling her ass up I finally withdrew, careful not to make it seem like I was too focused on a private spot. "What next?" I asked. "Do you want me to do your front?"

Sam thought for a moment. "Sure. I don't want you to stop touching me."

"Do you want me to turn my back again?"

"No, I think I've got this." Sam pulled the towel up to her torso, exposing a pair of simple black panties, then rolled over. The towel was now covering her breasts, leaving the rest of her body exposed. The dark fabric of her underwear was hiding the possibility of a wet spot, and again, she wasn't giving off any obvious signs of being aroused. I didn't care - I was still enjoying myself.

I suddenly had an idea. "Close your eyes."

Sam closed them immediately without hesitation. I moved up to her head and started gently massaging her temples, scratching her head, running my hands through her lustrous raven hair.

"Oh wow, that feels so good," she whispered.

I kept the head massage going for a few minutes as Sam whimpered in pleasure. Her eyes were closed, and I had the pleasure of staring unabashedly at her soft, freckled features. She could have modelled for an artist or sold jeans if she'd wanted to.

Finally I stopped. A tiny spot of drool had appeared in the corner of her mouth. She looked completely blissed out and relaxed.

"I'm running out of places to touch," I observed.

Sam smiled slyly as she opened her eyes and looked up at me. "I meant what I said earlier, Peter. I don't like having secrets among my friend group."