All Comments on 'The Futa Ring Ch. 01: Fools Rush In'

I really don't know what just happened in this story, I mean I do know what happened, but I don't really know what happened.

And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!

oh fuck ! please can there be more to this ,as i'd love to be nenya . i'm a queer trans woman and this story rang a lot of my bells . love your writing - sarah

Very cool. I'll have to think about it - and I will.

(Btw, you may like my story "Insatiable an Appetite".)

Wow. Short, tight and hot.

Mmm... My favourite kind of skirt...

but, as a first chapter, you rushed into things so fast, with no basis for understanding the world your characters are in. You have a seemingly invisible character, but no basis for their existence.

You state you don't sacrifice plot or story, but if you don't develop either, so your readers know what's going on, there is nothing to keep from sacrifice.

It wasn't until the unknown invisible character started licking the narrating character did I even know their gender.

The basic purpose of the written word is communication; if you leave your readers guessing, or not understanding what is going on, communication is not taking place.

Instead, the endeavor becomes a collection of words thrown together, which a reader might be able to follow.

GeoD

I bet you're the sort of woman who walks into a room full of strangers and announces, "Hi! I'm GeoD, a 36DD blonde with legs that won't quit..."

But maybe you're right and I should have pointed out that these are recurring characters and told readers to go away and read all the other stories first.