All Comments on 'The Game Pt. 01'

The premise started out well enough, But then the story went lame, though to be honest, I found the punctuation and poor sentences structure off-putting and several word errors ('can't' where 'can' was meant, etc.). I often read stories by British authors and accept what that means in terms of spelling and style. This story would simply benefit from a good, hard edit.

If they're having this much trouble communicating as a married couple with children it's not a game, not a place where fantasy is anything but a lie. If they didn't explore each other sexually before they had children why now with such varied acts that seem as if they're in a porn flick?

I read half-way and was ready to stop, then jumped to the last five paragraphs to get a sense of where the story was headed. My final thought- It might have been better to have written and posted this an entire story as I have no interest in reading a second chapter based upon the first.

Fair enough. I'd definitely agree on the edit but as my first post I'm happy with it. The premise is a true and common story. Originally I explained more of the background in the set up. So perhaps could add that back in. However as you missed the middle you missed some explanations of the game and the rules. Thanks for you feedback and your opinion anon 😜 👍