by JimBob44
JB gets right to the heart of the matter in very few words, every time. You new writers? Spend a little time with JB’s catalog before you push your scribbling on the rest of us. You hear?
Fantastic as always! Five stars. I just love your stories. Thanks for sharing your stories with us. Looking forward to your next submission.
Thank you for your tale and indeed all your stories. Some I don’t like, some are dark but they’re always interesting. I like the voices you give them and I think you portray the accents well. I know lots of people don’t like the speech but I feel it’s authentic ( although I confess to not being from that part of the US indeed not from the US at all )
Anyway thank you for the effort that you put in, I for one really appreciate it
Any time JimBob44 collaborates with BeBop3, the rating scale has to be increased from 5 stars to a significant multiple thereof ! As always, I am grateful for the author's generosity in sharing this work with us.
That is your version?/offshoot? Of the engwish language.
The story telling is good though.
So thanks for your fine efforts.
PS.
I come from a land down under.
Cheers
That's what you can always say about JB44, he writes about real life. Love him, hate him, indifferent, (I love him), he writes about real life. 500 yards across the gym. Lol. I made several of those walks decades ago. Keep writing real, JB.
Jedd
Thanks for another good read JB, your always the first author I click on when a new one pops up. Look forward to more of your writing.
Thanks JB
Escape. I love escaping into JB's world any day of the week. Love the real characters with real problems. Five Stars, and I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapters.
Loved this and ready for part 2 and the rest....
I love your characters and know and understand all of them and their language. You see I grew up in a small town in Texas and have family from Lufkin and Port Author to El Paso and Abilene. Graduated from high school with 12 other souls and 6 man football. I get it.
Your dialect is authentic and the small town color is so awesomely real.
Your stories keep getting better.
5! stars on this. (5-factorial stars = 120 stars)
im52
This is my first story of yours that I have read and found it very entertaining. There were a lot of characters to keep straight but it was a wonderful read.
As usual, I liked the story and hope the next chapter posts tomorrow, being the impatient sort that I am. Just one churlish note. There are several instances of broken sentences in different paragraphs, which is a distraction when reading fine literature.
Another great start. Look forward to part two. Thanks for sharing your characters with all of us. Merry Christmas.
I really like your storytelling and characters and the way they carry over from other stories. Looking forward to the next chapter!
l'm looking forward to chapter 2! I like how you use your people in different stories.
Please continue to fill in the gaps that swirl throughout your stories. I truly lose myself in your writing and hope you continue your tales for many years to come.
I usually have a hard time reading, and sometimes give up on, your dialect heavy stories.
I found this one much more readable, yet with still a little Cajun spice.
(or at least the first part of one). As always, JimBob gives us lots of characters (I had to read pages 1-2 twice to get them straight, but that's okay), lots of action and conflict, and a fair share of conflict and emotional pain. And the wonderful humor that underlies every one of his stories.
It is such a pleasure to keep reading you! Thanks for the warmth and the entertainment.
Thanks, ohio
I always enjoy reading a new JimBob story. The accent is authentic; that's how they talk. Those Cajun folk are good people and know how to have a good time. Spent some time down around Morgan City one summer and it was a pleasure to get to know them.
Thanks for posting.
Reading the story felt like I was chasing a small kangaroo around a very large field.
It was a delightful endeavour.
Far as I'm concerned, the more coon-ass the better. Thanks for the entertainment.
Tried, but too many parallel stories. Not sure where or if they all converge, but perhaps break them into 3 or 4 separate stories. I only have two balls, never learnt to juggle more.
Have to agree with the last comment. There are so many disparate storylines and characters that it's hard to get invested in any of them. I mean, the fact that it took five pages for(what I assume are) the romantic leads to even just make plans for a date is kind of crazy. Hell, I was starting to forget who Gordon was by the time he made it to the dentist office and there was finally some interaction between the two of them.
Interconnecting your stories is cool in one way, but in another it only serves to add to an already jumbled narrative. There are so many named characters that don't have any bearing on this particular story. If someone has read all your other stuff, then great. But if they haven't, they are left trying to sort out who is important to the plot and who is just getting mentioned because they've appeared elsewhere in your writings.
Admittedly, I prefer straight up romance to the 'small town drama' or 'true-to-life' stuff. Even so, this really could have been more focused on a relationship. Or multiple relationships. I will be reading the second part though, so I can't say I didn't get at least a little invested in the story.
What I have come to expect from JimBob44.
As the previous commenter said:
"entertaining, as always. You have a unique style, that just works."
It's a style that grabs my attention, and
makes me want to keep reading to see what happens next.
If you're reading the comments before the story,
check out the "Author's Notes" at the end,
for previous stories that have characters featured in this story.
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Paul in Oklahoma
When did Todd find out about his sister, did I miss the part where both Gordon and Todd were told about her?
STORY ABOUT AMERICAN TRASH TEENS WITH TRAILER PARK TRASH FAMILIES AT THEIR BEST!! SEX, DRUGS, DRINK AND ABUSE AT ITS FINEST
Anonymous trolls... Eye Yi Yi. Just scroll past JB44's stories if they bother you. Plenty of readers enjoy what he writes.
Somehow I missed this when it first was published. Great story, as expected. 5*
So many character, my head is exploding. BUT, I will read part 2 to find out what happens. Great characters, writing. Find myself thinking about our countries moral decay highlighted by some of your characters, some have useless, fucked up lives, and some struggling to rise above the squaller