All Comments on 'The Gatekeeper Pt. 01'

by CravingServitude

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  • 8 Comments
Wh1mWh1m2 months ago

very hot story, would love to read whats next :)

xabbu123xabbu1232 months ago

Oh my god, this is just incredible

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Good one. Any chance we read about professor mark sampling the other naive beauties he noticed? I am sure some of his colleagues are doing the same, especially the older, tenured ones. Consider writing about their escapades as well.

xabbu123xabbu1232 months ago

I need to add to my comment before. This has lived rent free in my head since reading it.

You've managed to put some genuine evil into a protagonist that mostly recognises it, but still make it seem like they're acting benignly. It's captivating.

I don't know if it needs to be written explicitly, but it tantalises ... thinking about the inner monologue of the poor student as she realises what she needs to do and fights against it so much. The takedown happening over such a long period, the patience, it's something that I haven't seen written so well anywhere.

I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter, and seeing how the noose is tightened while she remains unaware with the full knowledge that the denouement will eventually happen once she is finally unable to escape.

Delicious is the only word that I can come up with to describe how your writing feels.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

The premise is good and suitably sinister, but the multiple instances of bad grammar really throws off the rhythm of the work. It needs a proper proof reading and editing pass.

I'm still interested in seeing the next chapter, as I've mentioned, the core is good, just in need of some polishing.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Man this was well-written but by the second half I just wanna give this girl a hug and tell her it's gonna be okay.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Amazing story, can't wait for the next chapter

CarmenwaitingCarmenwaiting17 days ago

loved the slow manipulation that resulted in brainwashing her

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