The Gear Jammer & The Hitchhiker

Walking confidently, with her head held high, she climbed into the pickup and let out a long sigh. "Thank you for helping me get my stuff. Billy would've destroyed everything if you hadn't done this. I'll never have to see or talk to those pieces of shit again. Mac, you are my white knight," and gave him a lingering peck on his cheek, so close to his mouth, the corners of their lips touched.

"I won't ever be able to repay you."

Taking both her hands in his, he looked into Amy's eyes. "Aww shucks, I ain't no knight, jus' a regular Joe helpin' a purdy lady dat needs a friend. An' darlin' I don't need no repayment. One day, you'll meet a feller er lady that'll need some help, help 'em."

"Mac, you are the best simply to best," Amy said, then let out a sigh of happiness. A few moments later she smiled at him, "Think you could turn this poor girl into a truck driving woman?", she asked wondering if she could drive one of those monsters all over the country.

Smiling at her he said, "I can turn you into a gear jammin', freight shakin', bulldog drivin' beaver, all it will cost you is a few weeks of your time."

His face fell and his eyes squinted as he looked off into the distance. "I think it's time to go!" he said, all joking gone from his face, as his body tensed. "Any other way out of here?" he asked, worried that the dust trail approaching the trailer was Billy and Brad.

Amy sees the dust too. "Yeah, turn around and head to the back of the park. There's an old gravel road we can use to get to a side road. Go slow, make it look like we live here.

Mac nodded, not wasting time or breath speaking. "Just in case, Rick keeps a Colt 1911 in the glove box. I don't want to use it, but..." his voice faded as the truck failed to start. "FUCK!" he says, "Damn antique."

Turning the key again the motor whines but doesn't catch. "Com' on you beautiful piece of iron. Make Uncle Mac proud, show these losers what an all American beauty like you can do." Turning the key again, the truck roared to life. Turning to Amy he said, "Now you know why machines are girls. A little flattery from the right guy and they get all turned on and are raring ta go."

She gave him a weak, scared, smile as he dropped ti into first as a car approached with two figures in it.

"Is dat dem," he asked. One look at Amy was all he needed to answer his question. She was whiter than a ghost and tense as a drawn bowstring.

"I guess slipping away is out of the question now," he says as the pickup lurched forward. Keeping control of the pickup, Mac drifted on every turn, kicking up as much dust as possible. Using the dust as a smokescreen, Mac hoped it would make them miss a turn, or at least slow them down, letting him put distance between them. Amy stared out the back window, but with all the dust, she couldn't see anything.

"Do they have a gun?" Mac asked as he took a right turn just a little too fast and almost rolled the pickup into a ditch. He expertly cut the wheel to the left, glad there was no oncoming traffic, allowing the tires on the left side to reconnect to the road.

"Billy doesn't, he had a DUI and can't own one. I think Tony might, but I'm not sure."

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As Tony turned into the dirt road leading to the trailer, he was listening to his brother rant about that slut Amy.

"I'm telling you, bro, that bitch played us. If one fucking thing is missing from that trailer, I'll find and kill the cunt."

He sighed in annoyance, his brother was always complaining about that dumb gash. If it had been up to him he would've kicked her to the curb not long after she got his rocks off a few times. "Dude, he cunt ain't that smart, she's a set of nice tits, and a pretty face just told us the wrong place. The whore prolly went North to Tuscola or East to Colemen. If she's heading home why the fuck would she head South to get to Pennsylvania from Texas. Try calling her again," Brad said, as he rounded the last bend before their RV, and saw an ancient black pickup jump forward past them.

"Bro, Who the fuck is that in front of our trailer," Billy asked, "Fuck was that Amy in that Truck?"

"Dude I didn't see a passenger," Brad said.

"Bro, somethings not right. Follow that fucker."

Brad spun his car around in a 180° and speed off after the pickup."

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Amy directed Mac away from the main exit, as she crossed her fingers, in hopes that by driving deeper into the community, it would appear they lived there.

"I bet the Bastard is looping around to get out the back gate. Fuck this!" Brad stomped on his brakes and spun the wheel fishtailing as he hurtled to block the most likely exit

Mac saw the muscle car turn away, and was about to sigh in relief and was lowering his foot to the brake...

"Shit," Any bellowed, "They know what I'm doing. They just blocked the only way out."

Mac slowed the truck as he came up with, reviewed, and discarded several plans. "When all else fails...," he muttered to himself, he reached over and opened the glove box. Steering with his knees, he dropped the mag to make sure it was fully loaded, then he slammed the mag home and eased the slide back verifying there was a round in the chamber. He pulled the hammer back on the single action semi-auto and put the thumb safety on.

Once he was sure the weapon was ready, he tucked it into the back of his pants. Grasping the wheel, he saw the entrance ahead and sure enough, the road was blocked, and two wannabe tough guys were standing in the road. There was no way to get the pickup around the car safely, and ramming the car would kill the truck and passengers.

"Get down, and stay down. I'm going to try and bluff our way through. If they don't see you, it just might work. If not, well I got eight .45 rounds to convince them to let us go.

Amy slid off her seat and onto the floor, curling into the fetal position and rocking back and forth while she held her breath fearing what might happen. Mac stopped the truck a dozen yards from his adversaries.

Amy heard Billy's voice ask, "What the fuck is your problem?"

Brad, always the gearhead asked, "Dude, Is that a '79 or '80?" Billy glared at Brad.

Sensing that Brad was the more reasonable of the two, Mac directed his comments to him, ignoring Billy. "It's a '79. Jus' bought it, n plan on restorin' it. I wanted ta see if it could handle some off roadin'. Thinkin' about lifting it for muddin' or rockin'."

"Dude, that's cool."

"Why the fuck were you stopped in front of my trailer, Bro."

I stopped ta piss and y'all came after me like a hound after a bear." He kept his eyes on Billy, worried about how agitated he was. Mac knew he could get them to go away, as long as Amy stayed out of sight.

Laughing Brad replied, "Dude, my dumb ass little brother is a paranoid fucktard. His gash took off after trying to make his balls into frisbees."

"Shut the fuck up dick wad. It hurt. Besides what am I supposed to think when a truck speeds away from my home as I pull up, Bro."

Brad replied, "Dude, that he had to piss like you do all the fuckin time. Come on, let's go get wasted," he looks at Mac, "Wanna join us?"

"Thanks, sounds great," he says looking at his smartwatch, "but I need to get home, I have a date tonight with a hot piece of tail and this honey is ready...if you know what I mean. He pulled the door of the pickup open and climbed in, "stay down. I think things are cool. If so, we'll be well gone before Beavis and Butthead realize you're here." Mac started the truck and eased it forward, trying to get them to move out of his way.

Brad punched Billy's shoulder, "Dude, Come on, let's go call some bitches and get high."

Reluctantly Billy headed for the car, while he looked over his shoulder staring at Mac.

Mac watched as Billy stared at him, his brow furrowed in thought. Mac put on a big goofy grin and waved at Billy, trying to seem harmless, as he eased the truck forward and tapped his watch before raising his hands asking what's the holdup.

"Brad bought it, Billy is still suspicious," Mac whispered to Amy without moving his lips. "Is he smarter than he looks? I mean he'd almost have to be, no one could be that dumb and live."

Amy let out a scared half chuckle, "He's a lot smarter than he looks and dangerous. We shouldn't have..."

Mac dropped his right arm and put his hand on her knee. "Everythings fine, he's by the car..."

Amy flinches when a car horn blasts,

Brad blew the Mustang's horn, "Dude, let's go," he yells at Billy before blowing the horn again.

Mac continued to smile as he made hurry-up gestures while caressing Amy's exposed knee. "Don't worry darlin', no matter what happens with these two Mensa candidates...," Mac said, his voice thick with sarcasm, "Will be out our hair soon, then You'll be on her way to yer momma." He revved the engine, still waiting for the car to get out of his way.

Finally, Billy yells, "See you soon, Bro," and got in the car, which speeds off before Billy could close the door.

Mac wasted no time as he slammed in the accelerator and speed down the road, wishing there were a few turns instead of traveling straight North on the same road for miles.

Amy whispered, "let me know when we're safe," as she started to shake with fear and anxiety.

Mac worked his way up the gears, driving fast, trying to get as many miles as possible behind him hoping that he would be ling gone before the newer and faster car could catch up to him.

After five minutes with no sign of pursuit, Mac told her, "We're safe now, but if I tell you to get down, get down fast," while he glanced into his mirrors to see if Brad was coming after him. He rested his hand on Amy's knee, to comfort the scared girl. "I think we're safe, but when those douche canoes see your stuff's gone, they're coming after us. I plan on being in my rig before they find us." Amy just nods as she curses every red light and slow-moving car they encounter.

After driving for a millennia or two, Amy spots Macs rig parked where he left it. Mac pulls up to the rig and stops. Jumping out he climbs up and opens the door, "Hand me yer stuff," he tells Amy.

She hands up her backpack and the box. Mac stows them securely, out of the way, then jumps down.

Amy gets out of the pickup as Mac gets in and parks it. Before locking the doors he returned the gun, the put the key on the back tire. Walking over to his rig he sees Brad and Billy speed by, ignoring him. He chuckles as he climbs into his rig.

As he gets ready to roll, he looks at Amy, "If those two dumbasses ever go after the pickup, they'll get a rude surprise. Rick's a sniper on the SWAT team and a firearms instructor, as well as a black belt in Aikido and JuJitsu.

Amy laughed in relief as Mac popped the parking brakes, and let the truck start to roll. "God I hope those assholes try to pull your friend over, they deserve to have their asses kicked."

Amy looked in her mirror wistfully, "I have a...a week's vacation and then I'm supposed to be back at work," she said aloud.

"Are ya really goin' back? To the loser, ya jus had ta hide from?"

Amy teared up, "I don't want to go back, to work, or to him." More silence. "I'm not sure I want to even..." she trailed off and looked out the side mirror. The tears flowed.

Mac merged into the traffic, "My opinion, stay with momma, forget the deadbeat and find a good man. Yer young, ya ain't got any ankle biters and yer real purdy. Lots of guys gonna try n snatch ya up, right quick?"

Amy sniffled for a minute then wiped her face clean with her sleeve. She sat there in silence watching the yardsticks fly by as they approached the interstate. Finally, she broke the silence, "Do you...do you really think...sniff, sniff...that I'm pretty?" Amy never thought of herself as attractive, sure she wasn't overweight or a skinny Minnie and she never smoked or did drugs. She tried to eat right and working as a waitress in a busy restaurant ensured she got her daily steps in, and then some. Sure a lot of customers hit on her. It was a small town with limited entertainment options. She wasn't married, and still young. She figured it was just guys looking for some different, not any real desire to be with her.

"Well darlin', you ain't never gonna be a walkin' a runway in Paris or gracin' the pages of Victoria's Secret, but who wants dem skeletons. They look like 10-year-old boys who put plums in their shirt pockets. You look like a woman should, soft, curvy, a nice face, kind eyes, and lips that are jus' beggin' ta be kissed. I wouldn't kick ya outta bed on a cold night," he teased her.

That brought a big smile and then a laugh to Amy. "Well thank you, Mac. Makes me kind of wish it wasn't summer." Her eyes flew open when she heard what she said, "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I was trying to return your compliment." She bit her lip as she looked over at Mac and his grin. "Oh, you are awful," She said with a laugh. A laugh they both shared.

Mac turned onto the on-ramp to I-20 and began to accelerate and shift up as the truck reached highway speeds. He watched his mirror and in front as he ran out the DOT line and then merged into the granny lane. He kept accelerating until he could get into the sandwich lane. Once in the middle lane, he set the cruise control and sighed as he started putting miles behind him.

"Well now that we brought up sleeping arrangements," Mac says seriously, "I think you should know that I sleep back there," he gestured to the coffin rack behind the seats, "Most flop boxes want too many green stamps, so unless you wanna sleep standing up or during the day while I drive..." he looked at her and then at the bed. "I promise I won't do nothin' you don't want me to," he told her as he reaches for his radio.

"How 'bout dat Reefer on 20 eastbound at the yardstick 2-9-6, got yer ears on? Comeback"

"Ya got Shadowrunner, kick it in..."

"Big Mac comin' at ya Shadowrunner. If you don't wanna get Bear bit for two bennies, git outta the hammer lane. Gear jammers ain't allowed ta use the hammer in the lone star."

"10-4 driver, I forgot."

"Yer back door is clear, come on over...the the blacktop is fine."

"Rog-o Big Mac and thanks."

"I'm gone driver, keep her nose tween the ditches and smokey out yer britches."

"10-4 Big Mac, Shadowrunner clear"

Mac hung up his radio, listening as Amy said, "I always wondered where truckers slept. That bunk likes a little cozy for two, maybe I can...pay you for...well...everything," she added with a slight blush, She tried to be seductive by tracing a finger from her lips to the top of her cleavage. Cleavage she wanted Mac to see.

"I ain't askin' or demandin' that ya do that er anythin' else. I ain't one ta say gas grass or ass. But if her offering cuz ya wanna, I ain't gonna say no," He tells her letting his hand lightly touch her arm.

"As fer meals," he says changing the subject to let Amy keep her dignity if she was only offering out of a need to thank or repay him, "I eat breakfast and supper on the go. I stop at a choke n puke fer go-go juice, n toss some vittles down my neck, n gussy up. I plan on stoppin at a wally world about 2 hours from now, then another hour ta get past Fort Worth road stop at a TA.

"Mac, you are a true gentleman. I'm grateful for everything," Amy says with a smile. "I'm not usually this...this... forward, I...I want...you just...It's...well, you make me feel...," she paused, "you make me feel good about myself. It's been a long time since I felt that way." She winked and smiled at Mac. "How long until the next potty break?"

'Stop falling for this man,' she scolded herself. 'You just left Billy, and are vulnerable. He's a stranger. Just because Billy was a shithead, you shouldn't fall for the first guy you meet.'

"Two hours, unless ya can't hold it," Mac glanced at his GPS, he saw that there was a rest area about fifty miles up the road, "then it's an hour ta the next rest-a-ree-a, but if it's an emergency, there's some bushes up there..."

Laughing, not entirely sure if he was joking, she replied "I don't think so, Mister. I can wait an hour, two might be pushing it," Amy smiled at Mac. They shared a chuckle as they rolled down the highway. They passed another big rig and the driver looked over and smiled at Amy, she returned the smile. Then they passed a slow car. "Oh, wow...that guy is jerking off as he drives." They both laugh.

"Yeah, it's not uncommon to see people driving around with their hoohaas out. Men are usually poundin' da pud, the ladies are usually letting the AC blow on dere hot pockets, with their skirts around the waist. There's even some dat ride around nekkid, showin' off what God gave 'em," He told her, smiling as he remembered the one he had seen a few days ago, she was gorgeous.

"I bet you've seen lots of wild action over the miles," Amy said with a chuckle.

Mac gave her a knowing smile, "You ever do any flashin'?"

"I may have," she said coyly, remembering how Billy used to take her cruising on the interstate to tease truckers, back when they were in love and had fun together. "It's possible you saw me, back when I was immature and stupid..." she finished, bitterly.

"Darlin, if I had seen that body of yers, I'd have remembered. You ain't easy ta ferget. As for bein' mature, hell I ain't growed up yet, n I ain't planin' to neither. Growed ups ferget to have fun, n I like fun too much."

Amy smiled and began to reminisce aloud, "I wore this white button-down dress with red cherries, nothing underneath. I would undo a button every time we saw a truck until I was exposed. It was a lot of fun. Eventually, we stopped... having fun." She added, with a sigh. Looking out the side window, daydreaming a bit, Amy absently reached up with her right hand and rolled her right nipple through her bra for a couple of seconds. When she realized what she's doing, she snapped her hand down and looked guiltily at Mac. Amy was starting to feel a long-dormant, yet familiar, tingle in her belly. She suddenly realized how long it had been since she had even unsatisfying sex with Billy, good sex was a distant memory. This talk, though mild, was having a not entirely unpleasant effect on her.

He watched as she fondled her breast, and smiled. 'This was going to be an interesting trip,' he thought as her hand jerked away from her breast. Mac reached over to the satellite radio and turned it on to a classic country station, A Red Sovine song was playing, and he quickly changed the station. He liked Red Sovine, but many of his songs were tearjerkers and not what they needed to listen to right now. He selected a different country station and Puss in Boots by Wheeler Walker Jr was playing.

"I've never heard this song before," Amy says

"You should see the video," Mac tells her smiling as the chorus fills the cab:

I like my puss in boots

A girl who knows how to honky-tonk

Hums along to a Waylon tune

While she's hummin' on my cock and balls

I want a girl in a cowboy hat

Her tongue knows where my butthole's at

Bush pokin' out her Daisy Dukes

I like my puss in boots...

"OH MY GOD!" Amy exclaims, "not very subtle is it"

"The only place the video can be played is Porn hub," Mac tells her smiling.

Amy takes her phone and soon Mac here's the song starting, within seconds Amy shouts, "the dancers are topless," she keeps watching the racy music video, laughing. When it finally ends, she looks at me, "Well that was different."

We ride in silence listening to some more mainstream country music, and the miles pass quickly, and without any more suicidal four-wheelers acting a fool. "Mac not to be a pain, but are we there yet," she asks using an annoying little kid voice.

To answer her question, Mac put on the turn signal moved into the granny lane, then followed the exit ramp around to the truck parking lot, which was practically empty. He pulled into an open spot and stopped the truck. Setting the parking brake, he made sure the truck was in gear and shut it off.