All Comments on 'The Ghost of Dixie Hwy, Halloween T'

Very clever.

I hope they make it home.

Hi. It's a good start, but there's not enough story or issues to be resolved. What you have is the outline of a 15 min. "Twilight Zone" episode. What were their lives before they were killed? How can they help, learn from or heal each other? What happens after two ghosts find each other? Is there a parallel world of ghosts with lives that continue on? What conflict would occur if one was a virgin, and reluctant or unsure? I would suggest redoing it and adding more. There are hundreds of ways you could go. Think Romeo and Juliet, Madam Butterfly, Black Orpheus, Peggy Sue Got Married, Topper, Ghost, etc. Best of luck...

Well done. A challenge for you-chapter two?

Simple, yet ingenious little spooky folklore. Nicely done! This one ranks in my favorite top 2 of the Halloween Competition.

Weird. Intreging [sp ?]. Almost like Birgadoon

I find myself surprised to find that this five year old story has drawn only six comments. It seems to me, worthy of more. Still I must say that the very first three commenters have really said it all, leaving me with very little to add.

"Very clever" as eworc has said.

"Short but sweet" as Axelotto has said. And I too hope they make it home.

"A fairly good start, but too short" as the first Anonymous has said.

While I totally agree with all three of these comments, it is Anonymous' comment I agree with the most. This is a wonderful story, but really it's almost more of an outline waiting to be fleshed out. I want to make it clear that I'm not saying this story in its present form is not worthy of a high rating. It is. My rating is a five. I just think this story could be so much more.

I Don't know if the author will ever see my comment but if he does I would ask that he consider expanding this story in some way. The first anonymous commenter made a number of suggestions, some perhaps better than others, or there may be many other ways this story could be expanded upon. Just, please, consider it.