by darkbloom
This story was so very well written and very believable. I could associate with both characters and I give high praises to the author. Thank you for an erotic fantasy with a hint of realism. Jane
Comment title says it all.
Great set up, believable rising action, very satisfying resolution. Even a humorous denoument (thanking the man in front of the oblivious parents)!
Incredibly well done. You need to submit more stories, lots more.
An easily beliveable tale and very well done. The writing, pace and most of all the belivability of the setting was excellent. This story should be used as an example of how to write a good story. Congrats and more in the future.
Your being castrated ruined this story. If she and her parents were not going to be around for any length of time, why would you want a vascetomy in this story. Did you ever hear of fuck 'em and leave 'em? A case like that would have made this story highly erotic....with no one knowing whether she got knocked up or not, and if she and her parents left, who would care?
I seem to have read several exceptional stories by first time writers recently and this was one of the better ones. Well done.
Very believable story with an excellent plot development. The feelings of the author seemed real, and the sex, though expected, was beautiful. Another of those 'What could have been if only . . . ' stories that are often stupid. This one was truly well done!
An excellent story. I hope you keep writing here! A believable version of every older man's fantasy. Accolades.
Ignore the idiot comment about the vasectomey: I related to that! Super story- keep on writing.
Superb, well-written, literate, believable, highly erotic. Newcomer to Literotica, perhaps, but definitely a writer of class.
Great story. Well composed, enough background (but thankfully not too much) good build-up, all in all a top drawer effort. Well done!
It's rare to find a story this well written, AND with a story line on here.
That was amazing!! Thank you, you made my day. Fantastic story, excellently written. I'm going to have to read more of your stories. I'm blown away by that. It was sensational.
Awesome. ;-)
I loved it. Well written, just enough tongue in cheek to make it real. Nothing put on, some self deprecation that's just right. Thanks...
What a story. I agree with most of the previous posters. Thanks for sharing such a good story.
to you the author and to Literoctica for the comments board. I sometimes read stories based on the number of comments. This was one of them. I would have missed a very good story. Again thanks to all.
Your story should be used in the writers guide to good erotic writing. Not one area to criticize.
Ive read a lot of erotica and this is the best short story Ive seen!! Please continue writing!!
Poignant story that leads the reader through the erotic chase; not shifting to the finish too soon. Especially liked "... and breasts that were neither small nor large but that were simply hers." Really good writing.
amazing. i thought the ending was rather sad though. The dialogue of the story flowed PERFECTLY. my favorite story by far.
I loved your story and I must add that your voice seems very familiar to me. I know who I think you sound like, but I don't think I'll blurt it out. Lets just says he's written and directed some of the greatest "cult classic" films released over the past 15 years.
i have read alot of erotic stories lately n this by far was the best...... i loved the part where the guy said he dreamt about being 10 years younger or the girl being 1o years older i couldnt stop smiling...... the ending was outstanding..... not to mention it was soooo incredibly hot.... i was turned on as hell....i could totally relate since i am 18 as well i hope someday i have something like this....... a very believable story....... u have to write a squel!
I had a couple of similar experiences (as the older guy) when I was younger. It was so bittersweet when it had to end - never had one of them speak of the sexual excitement and pleasure we had shared, directly in front of her parents, but twice that I can think of, we did it right under the nose of a parent. The risk is part of the passion!
Nicely done, I hope you'll publish more.
Found this by chance and won the lottery. Thanks for sharing! Frankie
So you wrote one exquisite story 17 years ago and never another. Yet you last visited your profile sometime last week. What gives? Certainly you have another one in you somewhere. Can we have it? Pretty please?
I can't believe this story has been here so many years and I never saw it till now. It's well written and hot. I'd love to swim around that mind of yours.
Wow. Good stuff! Emotional and sexy, mutual and safe. No condescension or hurt feelings. Just harmless sex. Like eating a good steak for the libido.