All Comments on 'The Girl Next Door'

First story huh? Well, I certainly enjoyed it and am looking forward to more. The younger woman older man dynamic is just great here. Beth x

Great first story, looking forward to reading the next chapter

Very easy read,a little more character development ? Looking forward to the next installment.

The most unbelievable part of this story is thinking that winter gets cold in virginia. I moved north from that state after getting snow about only every 4-6 years, Thanksgiving and X-mas were usually 73⁰ (just above room temperature).

Hot!

I'm sorry, when did thirty five become mature? This is in the wrong category, I was disappointed enough halfway through the first page I stopped.

Better luck next time.

The sex is really hot. The narrative is completely unreal. By all means, keep going.

For your first story, this is very good! I look forward to reading more of your work.

USF is in Tampa. You should have used UCF.

This is a very good start, I hope there are more chapters to this tale. Keep up the good work!

Would love more chapters

to your writing and hopefully to a continuing series. Personally I like a longer buildup to get to know the characters and tease the coming action. Loved the story line, very hot sex! One suggestion, other than a continuing series, use contractions in your dialogue. "I'm horny" sounds more natural than, "I am horny". Really good for your first!

Would like to have a neighbor like her

when do they add Kimmie to their party

Thanks for sharing.

Loved reading this while I lounged by the pool watching my neighbor sunning. Hope you keep the story going.

My Dad's home, OJ Shit, out the window.

That's exciting, if she's in High school.

That made me laugh.

I was in Orlando last year on holiday (Im a Brit) and only ever crawled onto it. It's like a car park most hours of the day or night.

The only cars I saw accelerate onto the I-4 were those that crossed over the grass median from the approach roads.

Enjoyed the story by the way!

Thanks fora great first story. Can't wait for your next one.

That was one DAMN HOT first story!

I loved it!!!

FDD

Good story, but if you're using it as dialogue, please write out the OMGs. This happened a lot in Chapter 4.

...but, like so many other Lit stories by American writers, your constant mixing of present and past tense drives me insane!

That was an awesome story! Please continue it!

I see a great series coming.

Fun story but stop with the stupid OMG...it is one thing for a 21 yo female to say it but an ex-military, mid30s guy isn't going to be saying that (ever)

I loved the story. Don't worry about the anon bitchers. It gets cold in the mountains of VA.

Let Kimmie join in the fun. He needs to get on the good side of the cop.

He also better take care of business working from home or there will be hell to pay with the bank and utilities.

Part 2?

Thanks for sharing.

Its me (rmva) here :) - it looks like this might be the best way to say ...... Thank you all for all the feedback. As this was my first attempt, it has helped me immensely. The constructive criticism along will the support will help shape my writing. I want to go forward with the story and your comments have helped with the direction the story will take.

I have heard from other writers, that follow-on stories are hard to do. However, I have made an attempt. I hope that you will see it when it is published, and I look forward to getting more feedback.

Be well and safe in these strange times! Thank YOU!

Very good first effort. I could easily picture Tammi being the exhibitionist, and a vocal piece of ass too.

But I agree with the comment about leaving out the OMG'S.

As for your comment on the difficulty writing sequels, the hard part for me is finding the time. Once the characters are established, it's easy to imagine what they would be doing next.

I see you have another released already, so I am moving on!

Keep going pal.

ProTip: real humans donate to goodwill BEFORE moving, not after