All Comments on 'The Girl Who Came Back'

Blew me away when I saw that you are a young guy. Really enjoyed the story. Loved how it ended... I wasn't expecting him to call Sarah. A little feedback, I found you had some difficulties with the past tense but that can be learned or helped by having an editor. What is harder to learn is coming up with and telling a great story... and with that I don't think you need any help. If you feel like it I am sure that you could continue this story... I for one would love to follow David and Amy's story... maybe from Amy's point of view? Thanks for the story!

A nice story about unconventional feelings between an older man and a young woman. A psychiatrist would probably have a field day analyzing how these two feel about each other and the arrangement they have worked out. The call to Sarah is a good ending to the story and yet there is no indication that David and Amy intend to end the relationship. Sarah of course may have some definite thoughts on that issue as things progress.

WOW, just wow! An amazing story and you captured the feelings so well!

I just loved your story. You did an exceptional job of protraying the emotions of the characters and it was so easy to fall into the story and loose sense of time. Should you feel so inclinded, a followup showing the progressing relationship of Amy and David as well a Sarah and David would be most appreciated.

Your writing style is exceptional. Thank you for sharing.

more soon, please.

is this a re post or did you copy and paste?

It was an incredibl story till the end. Like so many others recently, you blew the ending. It's romance for a reason. All the emotion they showed each other and it's "oh, I don't want a relationship"......." I'll call this other woman" that is complete nonsense and BS! . It should have been obvious that he couldn't ask Sarah out because of how he felt for Amy.

Great characters, good writing, nice plot. But the curse of the literotica authors strikes again. The better the writer, the more it seems I just know they are gonna bone the ending. Pages upon pages are written about their fated love...except the last half page where nothing makes sense from the previous ones. Still gave it a four, but that ending made no sense.

yes, i posted this on xnxx before here. if you check the time the account was created, youll find there's only a few minutes between them.

As for why I ended it that way, I guess i was focused on realism. David was thinking about the age difference, and the unfinished business with Sarah.

Trust me, this is not the true end, as the two of them will have a small part in my next story, in which everything will be summed up.

except for the ending. It felt like the story was the foreplay, the prelude and we never got the payoff. What I read struck me as well written and enjoyable.

Thanks.