All Comments on 'The GOAT'

revenge is a dish best served cold..............

Good one Cuz!

During those foolish and brash days of my youth, my Daddy once said to me that I must always remember that somewhere out there, one will rise that is greater and better than me. Truth.

Short and to the point.

Skillfully rendered, but wafer-thin. You come out of the story with only the hint of a taste, not able to savour the whole thing.

Did you run out of words?

I'm not sure what this was supposed to be other than a waste of time. 1*

A man with the power to take down a world champion boxer, let's him live the good life for 15 months? Did it need to wait until he was in Italy?

\

I think it would have been better written from the husband's POV, describing his loss, maybe the depression that delayed his revenge. Describe the planning that went into J.J.'s ultimate demise, describe his confrontation with Diana.

Snuff porn. Only lunatics get off on murder.

Written along the lines of a Sunday School lecture.

That was both stupid and non entertaining.

.

1 *

Erotica?

Well written and succinct. 4*

if JJ was from Scranton, then little Joey Biden used to kick his ass daily back in the day. Looks like the rich guy took losing his wife badly. He disappeared Diana, and now he shows the GOAT that there was predator stalking him who wad even more powerful. Good story.

WTF was this?

My fart is longer louder and understandable as this moor‘s last sigh.

Try drawing a couple more numbers on the screen, dude. Geeez.

Captcha

just plain stupid

Brutal end to two arrogant cheaters, but society is probably better off without them. Keeps the rest of us safe from their voracious appetites.

KO in the first round.

Well done, Waif.

Not sure what sucks more you or this shitty little pile of words.

Meh - poor story

Not erotic, not engaging, the revenge was unsatisfying as you didn't know the characters enough to hate or sympathize with anyone, a very short and pointless story. There is the makings of a good story in there just this napkin sized story feels more like a story outline rather then the actual story.

It was a short one. Fast, practical and objective.

The reading was simple and gave the necessary parameters to understand the text.

A guy who became famous got involved with a married woman, not knowing who her husband was.

The conniving bitch agreed to run away with Goat. What followed were consequences of their choices.

Diana was said to be at the bottom of some lake and JJ sparred with some henchmen, before being introduced to her betrayed and very, very upset husband.

One shot and the belt was empty once again.

Bitches and assholes deserve to receive only what is right to them.

4 stars... The telling of the story, did not give any hint of the issue, until it showed, happened and ended.

Keep writing. I hadn't read your work yet, maybe I like it, maybe not. But that's just my opinion.

Give my regards to Diana, she’s dead too. Brutal!

Never cross billionaire gangsters. Never!!!!!

Great BTB

Scores 5/5

sbrooks103 - I am still considering retelling it from all three points of view. The story hit me as I was listening to an argument between friends on MJ vs LeBron. I realized how at any given moment in time, only one person can be the greatest and I remembered the Patton quote.

secretsal - I wanted to leave a lot unsaid but implied. I know it is off-putting to a lot of readers, but it always leaves me wanting more.

26thNC - Thank you. I am slowly working my way through all your faves list.

FlynnTaggart - Thank you. I write in bursts but have no formal training and will try to do better.

Carioca_Man - I think you got what I was trying to say. Thank you.

iameasel - not really sure what to do with a comment like that. It may have been more helpful if you had taken the time to elaborate or suggest something.

I was surprised it was on Erotica. It must be evil to be rich and to be a evil rich wife.

The boxer Departed life on the assumption his grand boxing ability was enough to

Make it alright and fun forever. Au revoir Boxer - Au revoir Madame

There was no story.

Good

Hard to write a good short story; to create characters and build emotion in a few words. Score is surprising :(

It was Tom Brady's fault. I had a heated discussion about the overuse of the expression. My argument was that calling someone great is totally honest and, while subjective, there are ways to quantify it.

Being the GOAT can only reflect a fleeting moment in time. After all, once you reach the top, there is only one way to go. Too often we expand that expression across all boundaries. Why should the fact that someone is great in one field be applied to any other endeavor. Yet, we repeatedly do that.

The discussion reminded me of the line from Patton.

Again for this great story. It’s time to write your stories from the other two POVs Waif. It’s been too long.

26thNC, if your favorites list wasn't so long, I could. Unfortunately, I am still binge-reading them all !!!!!!

As others have said below, this is poorly written in an apparent attempt to be short.

One thing a lot of people don't understand about the 750 word challenge (which this does not qualify for, but the lesson quite clearly applies here) is not to write exactly 750 words. Anybody can do that. No, the challenge is to turn those 750 words into a complete story. Even with closer to 1000 words, you failed to do that. Yes, it's a story. It's simply not complete. There is too much missing to be a decent read.

Hey Anon from 3 days ago (8/19), I don't object to criticism, but I always have issues with critics that hide behind anonymity. I accept that you might feel short-changed by my story, so I have decided to offer you a full refund.

By now, the time that you and I spent exchanging comments should be just about enough to to offset what you spent reading my little ode to GOATs.

If not, feel free to post your name and I PROMISE that I will spend just as much time reading and critiquing your literary ramblings, okay?

:-)

Hi Waif, another one from your least favourite commentator[s] Nothing wrong with the story or the length. [ To be honest any story, as in readable one anyway, that is less than 1000 words is way harder to scribe than say a 60 000 behemoth] My only quibble is the ending quote really not needed, and in my humble opinion totally un-needed.