All Comments on 'The God Virus'

Well thought out plot and sub-plots. It kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. Thank you!

Your stories just keep getting better & better. Really enjoyed this one!

Well written and plotted. Loved the character of Agent Duffy.

"Adam filled a plate with bacon and eggs pouring himself a hot cup of coffee from a decanter in the corner of the room."

You're missing a ton of commas, which can change the meaning of some sentences. I read the above as: "..bacon and eggs pouring..." and I'm wondering how bacon and eggs can pour then realized you meant, "Adam filled a plate with bacon and eggs(comma) pouring..."

The best and most well-known example of why punctuation is important is this one:

"Let's eat Grandpa."

vs

"Let's eat, Grandpa."

Hi,

I managed to read the story today, in three or four separate periods. I was supposed to be working :-)

I was a little confused at some points with the punctuation but didn't let that spoil a story, not keen on literature for literature sake, but I do love a good story.

What did confuse me was where you had used Harriet and Duffy in adjacent paragraphs, very confusing, you need to use one or the other.

The end did seem a little rushed.

Finally Razinski had taken the God Virus, he inseminated Karen, Could Karen now have the God Virus?

As 2-3 people pointed out, punctuation is important as it can change the meaning of the sentence or when the sentence is long, it becomes a bit difficult to understand what is being said.

I'm no Grammar expert but if you pay attention to the commas, fullstops and apostrophes in some places, the story will turn out even better and will be easier to follow.

Other than that, the plot was good. Keep up the good work.

2nd rate, seventh grade level story, not worth the time to read past the 2nd page. Your lack of proper punctuation and capitalization throughout the sections I read detracted from what could have been a promising story. I recommend you cease and desist all writing activities until such time as you have completed an entire college level creative writing program. Only then will the tripe you write be anywhere close to being worthy of our time to read it.