The Grande Futapest Hotel Ch. 01

(Based on a suggestion by Anon. Thanks to a different Anon for the better title!)

Chapter 1: Sunday

Caitlyn sat on her couch, lazily flipping through the channels, finding nothing interesting to watch. Somehow, her husband had activated the long-dormant V-chip in her television to block all the sexy channels. What a joke! As if he really cared if she played with herself. Every night, when he came home from his job as president of his own beef jerky factory, he was too tired to give her the sweet loving she craved. He just took off his suit and went straight to sleep, as if undoing his tie deflated him like a punching bag struck with darts. Whenever she woke up, no matter how early, he was already gone.

At her side, still pleasingly warm, was a pizza. She nibbled at a single slice, but... she didn't like pizza that much. She only ordered it to bring a hopefully handsome pizza delivery man to her house. She dressed in her smallest nightgown to entice the delivery boy into giving her the extra sausage... but to no avail. Since when were there ever GAY pizza delivery boys? Who let that happen? She didn't remember voting for that.

But perhaps there was salvation awaiting her, as she heard a repair van pull up to the front of her house. She distantly saw the denim-plad delivery of dick marching up her front walk through an open window. They knocked twice on the door, and Caitlyn sprung from the couch like a frog.

Quickly checking her appearance in the mirror near the door and finding it satisfyingly alluring, Caitlyn threw open the door with her best pout and low-lidded stare of barely restrained desire.

And then she saw the plumber. A curvy woman in a jumpsuit, the zipper apparently unable to rise high enough to cover her cleavage, her wavy blonde hair hidden under an orange cap. She had a few smudges of dark grease on her cheeks that looked like someone had deliberately placed them there. She carried a large red adjustable wrench over her shoulders.

"You called for a plumber?" Asked the plumber.

Caitlyn groaned loudly, rolling her eyes, and she closed the door in her face. Gay pizza boys, lady plumbers... what's next? A dog playing basketball? She got a few steps away from the door before the plumber knocked again. Caitlyn turned around and opened it again. The plumber was still there.

"Well, don't just stand there, come in!" Caitlyn shouted. The plumber stepped in after wiping their feet on the welcome mat, though they didn't feel very welcome. "What's your name?"

"Selena, miss." The plumber introduced herself.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Selena. The problem is over here." Caitlyn brought her into the kitchen, where the faucet was running nearly full-blast into an empty sink, directly into the drain.

Selena looked at the faucet and gently cocked her head. Working on her first hypothesis of what might be wrong, she turned the cold water knob with her finger. The water flow slowed and then ceased.

"Oh, was that all I needed? What a donkey I am." Caitlyn said insincerely. "Well, here's four hundred dollars. Now get out of my house."

"If I didn't know better..." Selena removed her hat and held it in both hands. "I would think you only called a plumber to see if you could score an old-fashioned, consequence-deprived banging from a big, strong plumber with a hairy chest and a giant dick."

"I don't like hairy chests." Caitlyn pouted. "And what do you care? You got your money."

"Well... I'm free for the next hour." Selena advanced on Caitlyn, closing the gap between them and gently caressing Caitlyn's breast with her knuckle. Caitlyn didn't back away, the light bulb going off in her head a moment later.

"Oh!" Caitlyn gasped. "Well... you're very pretty. Maybe pretty enough that I should be jealous. But... I'm not into women."

Selena was undeterred, pressing forward until their breasts touched, and then their stomachs. "Are you sure?"

Caitlyn felt something pressing against her thigh, something hard building in the leg of her jumpsuit. She looked up to Selena, who was wearing a growing smile.

"You can touch it." The plumber suggested. Caitlyn gently rubbed the warm shaft through the fabric, reaching the tip as it slowly advanced further down her leg until it edged just past her knee.

"No way." Caitlyn whispered.

Selena stepped back.

"Pardon me, but I need to get out of this jumpsuit." Selena slid her shoulders out of the jumpsuit, freeing her breasts and sliding them down her wide hips. As she lowered the jumpsuit, she revealed her cock pinned against her left leg, revealing it inch-by-inch until it finally came free as the leg of her jumpsuit passed her knee. The rest of the jumpsuit fell to a pile at her feet.

Caitlyn stared at the newly free member. It really was as long as Selena's thigh. The head was now poised between Selena's breasts. Far below the head, her balls were perfectly smooth and of similar enormous size.

Once she reckoned what she was seeing, Caitlyn jumped to her knees and quickly made the sign of the cross before raking her tongue on the underside of Selena's cock. Rolling her head back on her shoulders, Selena dropped the wrench to the carpet. Caitlyn continued to lick the huge hot cock until it was shiny with spit. She clutched it by the base and brought it down just a bit so she could get the head into her mouth.

Sadly, Caitlyn had never had a dick like this to practice deep-throat on, so she only got about a third of the magnificent cock in her mouth before she ran out of mouth. The rest of it, still enough dick to leave her plenty satisfied, she wrapped her hand around and rubbed up and down, her fingers not able to reach fully around its girth. Her other hand gently fondled her balls, those two heavy orbs surely filled with something wonderful.

Selena pushed Caitlyn off her knob, a strand of aroused slobber connecting the tip and her mouth like a strand of spider web. "Don't you want to have some fun?" Selena smiled.

"This IS fun." Caitlyn said, keeping one hand on the base of Selena's cock, afraid it might escape if she released it.

"Let's try something else." Selena said. "But first, I need to get my boots off, because I can't get this jumpsuit off with them on." Selena scooted to a nearby chair with the lack of grace of anyone who'd run out of toilet paper. She forced her boots off and removed the jumpsuit.

Finally seeing Selena fully nude, Caitlyn was even more impressed with the size of the thing. It was longer than her forearm. She didn't know if she could take the whole thing, but... just as they rearranged furniture in her living room to make room for her surround sound system, she would somehow make it work.

Selena stepped in closer and gently brushed the spaghetti straps of Caitlyn's negligee off her shoulders, the tiny garment dropping to the floor. Caitlyn's big breasts heaved deeply, her stiff nipples free to be pinched gently in Selena's hands. Caitlyn shuddered and bit her lower lip as Selena's soft lips delicately teased the soft flesh of her breasts, ending with a single kiss on each nipple.

Selena led Caitlyn to the island in the center of the kitchen. It was lower than the average counter top, but that made it perfect for what she was planning. Caitlyn climbed onto the counter and spread out, her head hanging off the edge, where Selena stood. She took a step back and poised the tip of her cock at Caitlyn's mouth. Selena inched forward and pressed her cock down Caitlyn's awaiting throat. With nothing more distressing than a bulging throat and a wide-eyed expression, Caitlyn was now a deep-throat champion. All she needed was a change in position.

Withdrawing herself gently from Caitlyn's throat and pressing in, Caitlyn felt like the sword swallower who decided to use a burning sword... of hot meat. She was happy as could be, feeling the hot stiff appendage plunge into her throat, making little gently gagging noises as Selena sped up. Selena's balls repeatedly jostled against Caitlyn's eyes, where they were as welcome as cucumber slices.

Selena pulled herself out of Caitlyn's mouth and walked around into the kitchen. Somehow, even though it wasn't her kitchen, she immediately found the skinny bottle of extra-virgin olive oil with the stainless steel pouring spout. She poured a line of it along the top of her cock and rubbed it delicately along the skin until the entire thing was coated.

Caitlyn bent down before Selena, presenting the target. Selena gently pushed the tip of her cock up Caitlyn's ass, to her very vocal pleasure. She helpfully repeated, "Yes, fuck my ass, fuck my ass," as if Selena would forget what she was doing. With both slightly oily hands on Caitlyn's buttocks, she pumped her cock into Caitlyn's ass and out as far as she could without relinquishing her handhold.

Her legs bucking and hands trying to clutch handfuls of carpet that refused to move off the floor, Caitlyn howled in ecstasy, leaving a gentle pattern of the rug fibers on her cheek. Selena again pulled out, still as stiff and large as ever. Caitlyn looked at it dizzily.

They made it to the bedroom, Caitlyn stumbling a bit before grabbing Selena suddenly and throwing her down onto the bed. She climbed atop her, nearly standing at full height to lower herself on Selena's cock, it sliding effortlessly into her hot wet pussy. Caitlyn rode it happily, her breasts bouncing and her thighs slapping against her calves with every hump.

Arriving twitching and screaming into another orgasm, Caitlyn fell limp atop Selena's cock. They turned in bed, Caitlyn now below. Selena put her arms over Caitlyn's shoulders and looked her deep in her eyes. She was inside her again, pounding her pussy mercilessly. Caitlyn groaned and moaned dramatically, grabbing the pillow behind her and whatever else might steady her. Selena humped away until sweat appeared on her skin, both their bodies shimmering like jewels.

When Caitlyn had finally been brought to her third or fourth orgasm, Selena pulled out suddenly and pointed her cock at Caitlyn's face. Finally, Selena would hold back no longer.

A thick stream of come burst from the tip of Selena's cock, immediately coating Caitlyn's face. She pointed lower, dumping long ribbons of come over Caitlyn's tits and stomach before slathering more in her face, with the last few bursts delivered right back into Caitlyn's exhausted pussy, still filling it to capacity and leaving a long white trail dribbling out as she pulled her cock out again.

Unspeakably satisfied, Caitlyn wiped the come from her eyes just in time to see Selena plant her lips on her pussy. A few gentle sucks later and Selena came up to Caitlyn's mouth, gently gobbing a small trickle of come into Caitlyn's mouth. She licked it up, gathering some more onto her fingertips and eating it luxuriously before succumbing to post-sex fatigue and drifting off to sleep.

And from a few feet away, a man yelled "CUT!"

The bell rang, and Caitlyn sprang to life again. Selena was there, offering a hand to help her out of the bed. "We got everything?" Asked Caitlyn.

"We got it! Great work, both of you." Called the director.

"Don't thank me." Caitlyn said. "She did all the work."

Selena brought Caitlyn, still covered in come, off set and into the showers.

--

Caitlyn stood in the showers, scrubbing up with her favorite body wash, washing the come and sweat off her body. There was no curtain, so she could watch as Selena washed the 'grease' makeup off her face. She had already taken a quick shower, as the production had not left her nearly as messy.

"Hey, what was that bottle actually full of?" Caitlyn asked. "It didn't move like olive oil."

"It's just green-colored lube." Selena said, rubbing her face with a paper towel. "I think Props made it."

"I wondered what it was, because... it definitely worked." Caitlyn said, letting the warm water cascade down her body. "Don't you hate those gagging noises they make me do when I'm blowing you?"

"It's all psychological." Selena balled up the paper towel and threw it into the nearby bin without turning away from the mirror. "That's the sort of noise guys like to hear during fellatio so they feel big."

"Can't believe they make me pretend like I can't deep-throat you without gagging." Caitlyn sneered. "Makes me look unprofessional." Caitlyn turned off the water, all the soap going down the drain. Selena was applying makeup in the mirror, bending just a bit off the sink to give her curvy ass just a bit more curve. "Speaking of professional, your ass is looking great."

Selena turned in place. The bedroom might not be real, and the wrench might have been plastic, and the sound of the knocking was just a production assistant saying "ding-dong" that would be changed into a knock when an eagle-eyed editor noticed the house that stood in for the exterior had no doorbell.

There was a lot of fakery in the world of pornography. But that ding-dong, hanging low between Selena's legs... that was completely real. And so was all the come that Caitlyn had washed down the drain. And of course, so were all Caitlyn's orgasms. In a real sex situation, she might not instruct her lover to 'fuck her ass,' but that's Hollywood. Or at least... that was porn.

They moved closer, Caitlyn's arms slithering around Selena's shoulders until they were embracing. Caitlyn moved in for a kiss, which Selena welcomed. The directors seldom let Selena have long kissing scenes, for some reason. But nobody would stop them here.

Caitlyn snickered, looking down at Selena's engorged member. "Really?" She smiled.

"Maybe I didn't completely empty myself..." Selena confessed.

"That was your biggest load yet, in a career filled with big loads." Caitlyn reassured her. "Unless I wasn't there for it."

"That one was pretty good."

"You want to go again?"

A pause. Selena pulled away. "I can't. I need to save it for next time."

Caitlyn put on a fake frown. "Aw. We don't have any more movies together for the next few weeks. I don't know if I can go that long."

"I'll give you the orgasms you want." Selena promised. "But I need to hold onto mine for the camera."

They kissed again, dressed, arranged a lunch date for whenever in the future their schedules would allow, and then left the showers. Selena waited at the payroll desk like everyone else and received her paycheck for the day's work. She put it in her purse and was about to walk out the door when she heard something in the distance.

At the seats against the far wall of the lobby... there was a young woman crying her little eyes out.

--

Vyronica lay on her bed in her dorm room, copying down equations from her study book to her notebook. She was glad this was the only math class she had to take for her degree in Human Sexuality. If her math partner would get here already, maybe then she'd understand what the symbol with the two dots and the horizontal line meant.

Someone behind the door knocked. "It's open." Called Vyronica.

The door swung open and someone came through. It was her math partner, Layla, a brunette who might have been pretty if she didn't have those silly thick-framed glasses. How could anyone be expected to see her slender frame with soft curves behind THOSE? She was dressed in a pleated plaid skirt, a white button-up blouse with a loose tie, and thigh-high socks under her sneakers.

"Gosh, Vyronica." Said Layla as she entered. "I can't believe you keep the door-"

Off in the distance, someone said something. Layla looked towards the noise, waiting. A moment later, she exited through the door, waited a three-count, and walked back in.

"Gosh, Abigail, I can't believe you keep your door unlocked." Said Layla. "I mean, anyone could just walk right in here."

"Like that would ever happen, Samantha." Vyronica said. "And if they did, so long as they were some big handsome football player, I wouldn't mind."

"They might need help with math, too." Layla took a seat on the bed near Vyronica. They read a few math problems and solved one or two before Vyronica complained she was hot. She took off her shirt and leaned back over her book, leaving Layla a perfect view of her plunging cleavage held in place with her lacy semisheer bra.

Layla started to look uncomfortable. Vyronica looked up and saw Layla pressing her math textbook into her lap.

"I didn't know you liked math... that much." Vyronica said. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Layla tried to move back, tipping her head forward. Her thick glasses fell off her face and onto the comforter. Before Layla could replace them, Vyronica gasped.

"Wait a minute..." She said, pointing. "I knew you looked familiar. You're that futa who's been streaming herself."

"What are you talking about?" Layla denied.

"I recognized the background of one of the dorms. You live in the dorms down the hill, right? There's a futa streaming herself jacking off in a dorm that looks like those... but SHE doesn't wear glasses."

"Well, it can't be me, then, because I'm blind without these things."

"Then give me back the book." Vyronica pawed for the textbook over Layla's groin.

"This is my book." Layla insisted, but Vyronica's stronger hands prevailed. Her pleated skirt was being pushed up by a mighty big cock, as big as she'd ever seen, but most importantly, about the same size as the one wielded by the mysterious camgirl.

"I didn't think anyone on campus would be watching it..." Layla frowned, delicately pulling the skirt back off the tip, stuck there with a little precum soaked into the hem.

Vyronica touched the cock with her hand, gently stroking it. Layla cried out. Vyronica came face to face with Layla and kissed her once, and then slid her tongue gently into Layla's mouth. She slipped back down and planted her mouth on the tip of her cock, gradually sucking it further and further down the shaft.

"I've sucked all the dicks on the football team..." Vyronica said between sucks. "And the basketball team. Home and away." She took a longer suck, humming contently with this hot thing in between her teeth. "Let me tell you, none of them were as big as you." She brought her lips all the way down to the base of her cock. Layla was trembling and vocalizing louder than you'd expect so early into the procedure.

Vyronica pulled Layla's cock out of her mouth. Layla panted with obvious relief. Vyronica waited a moment, looked off for a second, and said, "Doesn't that make you feel more confident?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Layla said breathlessly.

From somewhere in the distance, a voice instructed, "Keep going!" in a tight whisper. Vyronica started running her tongue on the underside of her shaft, licking it very gently up and down.

"Mmmmm..." She moaned. "So much cock... and it's all mine." She took a long stroke from balls to tip and brought it up to Layla's open mouth. They kissed, and Layla pushed Vyronica over until Layla was atop her. They kissed more aggressively, Layla leading the charge.

Vyronica broke away and held a finger at Layla's lips. "I can't wait any longer." She slid off her pajama bottoms, revealing her perfect little pussy, with a tiny brown triangle of pubic hair that did not match her blonde locks.

Layla pressed the tip of her cock against the opening of Vyronica's gash. Once the tip disappeared, the rest followed quickly as she pushed it in hard.

"Oh, fuck!" Vyronica cried out. "Ohh, yes! Do it! Fuck me hard! Ohhh, you're so big!" Layla continued plowing Vyronica, rapidly gaining speed.

"Slow down, slow down!" Cried a voice from somewhere, drowned out by Layla's cries. She pulled out of Vyronica and pointed her cock at her tits, spraying come on them in twelve or thirteen ropey bursts. Vyronica moaned musically, rubbing the jizz into her skin with her fingertips and crying out every time a new hot wad touched her skin. Layla collapsed to the bed, aside Vyronica, gasping for breath.