The Grande Futapest Hotel Ch. 01

Vyronica looked right at the camera for a moment, then returned her gaze to Layla. "You rest, Samantha." She said, patting her on the shoulder. "We got that exam tomorrow." She put her arm around her, looking at the lovely mess she'd made for her on her breasts.

"CUT!"

Vyronica looked over to Layla. She expected her to get up when the director called 'cut.' Instead, she just sat there, face half-buried in the pillow, breathing deeply.

"You OK, champ?" Vyronica said, rubbing Layla's shoulders. A production assistant came over with a towel and wiped up the jizz from Vyronica's cleavage without asking. He must have drawn the long straw to get this job.

Wearily, Layla sat up. She looked at Vyronica. "Sorry."

"You did fine, honey." Vyronica insisted. "That was fun."

The director got up from his chair and engaged the two ladies. "So... that was good. That ending was really great. But... we might need to shoot some coverage."

"Did I come too early?" Layla asked, a nervous quaver in her voice.

"No, no. No way. We just need some other shots we can splice in." The director put his chin in his hand, an indication that his creative mind was hard at work. "So... you two start kissing again, and then you-" He pointed to Layla. "-bury your face in her tits and motorboat them."

"Should I take off my bra?" Asked Vyronica.

"No, because you still have it on at the end, so don't do that."

The director walked off set. A man walked out with a clapboard. Layla still wasn't sure it the clapboard was a joke or not. "Everyone ready?" Someone called out.

Vyronica leaned forward and whispered something to her co-star before they began again. "At least we get to kiss some more."

Layla looked at her a little funny, and Vyronica just winked.

"Action!"

They got back to business.

--

The director asked them to perform four new scenes to splice into the scene at a later date, the edits likely covered with some closeups of their orgasmic faces the B-camera managed to grab the first time. The first was the kissing and motorboating, which they both enjoyed. The second was a ball-sucking scene to be cut in as part of the earlier fellatio. Despite Vyronica's vigorous sucking of Layla's smooth balls, Layla had come too recently to get hard again, so she had to hold her cock out of shot while the camera zoomed in very close. Those who would watch this in HD would hopefully appreciate the pendulous orbs bobbing gently as Vyronica sucked and tickled them with her tongue.

The same closeup technique wasn't necessary when they turned the tables, and Layla was asked to eat Vyronica out. Layla had never been fond of that term, but she didn't expect anyone to call it 'cunnilingus' in the context of a real porn set. Layla gave it her best shot, but Vyronica had to helpfully clue her in to focus further up and massage her clitoris with her tongue.

Between each scene, the pair would kiss for at least a few seconds, connecting the scenes into a whole like the grout in tilework. Finally, the director asked for Layla to mount Vyronica again. Layla shook her cock about, but... it was still too soon. She bashfully asked for more time, but the director said he had a "whole 'nother movie to shoot this evening," so he instructed them to fake it.

Poised belly-to-belly, Layla pumped her hips the same way she did previously, but her soft penis bumped against Vyronica's mound like an empty glove. Vyronica turned on the dramatics, thrashing her arms, grabbing the bedsheet, declaring Layla's cock the best she'd ever had... exactly as she had when she was really fucking her.

Eventually, the director decided they had enough B-roll, so he called cut again and dismissed Layla, and told her she did a great job, that she was very beautiful and that they would call her.

And every other person on set that she crossed before reaching the dressing room told her she did a great job. Everyone used the word "great" except the guy holding the boom mic, who said she did "excellent."

Layla went to the dressing room and returned the costume. She had not worn a condom, but she wore her flip-flops in the provided showers... just in case. The water was warm, but she couldn't shake this gentle tremor that had appeared in her hand.

She dressed herself in her short-sleeved top, yoga pants and sweatshirt tied fashionably around her waist. She put her sneakers on and went to the payroll desk, which she located by it being the only desk with a line in front of it. She waited for her turn, holding her hands together to suppress that shiver that wouldn't leave her.

When it was her turn, she signed for her check and was congratulated by the clerk for her first performance at this agency, hopefully, the first of many.

Layla walked to the lobby and looked again at the number on the check. It was twice what she expected it to be. It was enough money to pay off half her credit card bill... or maybe even get a car. Not a nice car, but then she wouldn't be stuck here, waiting for the bus.

The tremor in her hands became an earthquake, as she stuffed the check back in her purse. There would be no next time. She had blown it. Literally. She came way too fast and couldn't get hard again. She messed everything up. This was her one opportunity, and she threw it away.

Layla had been a casual camgirl for almost a year and a half, streaming from her apartment most nights to a growing audience of eager donating fans. They adored her, worshiping her cock and everything else. Her camgirl channel was successful enough that she had given her chat moderators Amazon giftcards this past Christmas. Sure, they were only for twenty bucks, but she had to buy ten of them. Moderators were essential to keeping the chat clean and usable. Without the chat, she would have no channel.

Somehow, the opportunity to make a mainstream porn had fallen into her lap, and at the same studio her futa porn idol worked. It was the opportunity of a lifetime, and she'd taken two different buses from her apartment in Glendale to the studios in the San Fernando Valley.

This was her shot. And she blew it.

And that's when the tears started to flow. Everyone was eager to tell her what a great job she did when she had so clearly failed. She would have rather everyone had been honest to her and tell her she would never make it in this industry. But they weren't even cynical about her chances. They'd worked in this town enough to know how many starry-eyed sexually obsessed weirdos walk through those doors, hoping to make it big. They couldn't even be bothered to perform her the mercy of crushing her dreams like the insignificant squeaking ant she was. They'd probably done that so many times that it had ceased to be amusing.

Here she was, looking for validation in the world's most disgusting industry, outside of searching the sewers for vomit-encrusted drug dealers. And she couldn't even find it. Called a freak all her life, she may have carved a tiny niche out of the Internet's surfeit of porn-guzzling perverts with extensive lists of paraphilias, but that was about as hard as getting a cat to chase the red dot from a laser pointer.

The Internet really was the only place she would find validation, the broad reach of world wide web the only net large enough to catch enough fans to sustain herself. Masturbating chatters telling her how special and hot she was... and all because she happened to be born with a big cock.

What a fool she was, she thought as she gnashed her teeth and wept. What was the point of even coming out here?

"Excuse me? Are you all right?" Asked someone standing near her.

Layla didn't want to say anything. She was definitely 'ugly-crying.' She'd rather just say nothing and wait for them to leave. Nevertheless, she looked up, tears blurring her vision, sniffling snot, face contorted with despair.

And Layla nearly fell out of her chair.

--

In 1992, on December 8th through the 10th, the comet formerly known as 1992f reached its perihelion, appearing in the sky as a slowly moving light twice as bright as Sirius, approximately five million miles from Earth. 1992f was eventually renamed for its modern discoverer, Japanese astronomer Dr. Yuuji, thus the new name Yuuji-FT0. Dr. Yuuji calculated that his comet would not return for over two hundred years, and would almost certainly never arrive again during a full moon.

The effect of this comet's passage was not immediately realized. On December 11, 1992, one girl in Mexico, who had been monitored thoroughly throughout her mother's high-risk pregnancy, was born with both sets of genitals. The most recent ultrasound was three weeks prior, which showed the unborn daughter as a completely standard and healthy baby girl.

Margarita Rosa Hernandez, as she would be named, escaped worldwide scrutiny at the moment of her birth. The doctors couldn't explain it, but Margarita's mother defied the doctor's wishes to 'assign' her to one of the two genders. They left the hospital with their daughter and never sought nor found the attention of the rest of the world. A single picture of Margarita's face at one day old with a black bar over her eyes, taken by a nurse, is currently in every book on post-comet sexuality. The child is identified only as Child X, the first verified intersex birth after Yuuji-FT0.

Dr. Yuuji's namesake on 1992f did not persist. The events of December of 1992 are almost universally called simply "the Comet."

Following this, there was an explosion of births described as a previously unseen intersex condition, several every day. Japanese commentators, noting their historical beliefs in those who change their gender based on the cycles of the moon, started to call these births 'futanari,' a word that meant 'to be of two kinds.' At that time, no Japanese commentator was brave enough to admit the word stemmed from the increasing popularity of 'women with penises' in drawn pornography like manga and hentai.

The word 'futanari' was eventually folded into most languages that accepted this new sexual phenotype. The initial shock of their appearance led to roughly half of futanari that year being 'reassigned' to either male of female. The death of an infant during reassignment surgery brought international outrage, and most countries banned any futanari reassignment before the futanari herself was old enough to consent to the procedure as an adult. Other countries essentially condemned the existence of the futanari, as they were 'abominations' and 'inherently homosexual in their nature."

Statistics on futanari births have proven difficult to track. During the initial years of prejudice and scorn, most lived as women as they grew up. Depending on the doctor, the birth certificates might say F for female or N for 'futanari.' This categorization has lead to some saying the N stands for "neither," so some doctors now use the letter U. This served to confuse the statistics even further.

While determining who is futanari is a simple procedure, standardizing this on legal documents have been slow. Neither the 2000 nor the 2010 American Decennial Census had a space to identify sex as 'futanari.' The best guess of experts is that, as of the 2010 Census, one in every eight to ten thousand births are futanari.

Pregnancies carrying female fetuses occasionally, and rather spontaneously, turn to futanari during gestation, but the vast majority develop their sexual characteristics at the same time as any other developing fetus. Male fetuses are not similarly affected. It's unclear if the spontaneous futanari births are the reason that the statistics seem to indicate the futanari population is increasing, or if their growth is parallel to population growth in general and the futanari simply have greater visibility as prejudices give way towards acceptance.

Studies continued as the futanari population reached adulthood, though futanari volunteering to be examined have been rare. It appears futanari are incapable of getting pregnant, nor do not have 'periods.' It's not clear if a futanari can impregnate a non-futanari woman. Some futanari ejaculate does contain motile sperm, and some does not. As of 2017, there are no confirmed cases. If it has happened since the Comet... the mothers have not come forward. No one, it seems, is thrilled with the prospect of being the first and having their child's face pasted in textbooks like Child X.

The data that seems to be most elusive, now that there is a substantial population of futanari adults, is how their penises measure up to the average male penis. The only study that has seriously taken place was from an anonymous doctor who kept measurements of patients. He solicited volunteers to come forward to be measured and attempt to set a baseline for what the average futanari penis was.

This doctor apparently measured thousands of adult futanari penises, both flaccid and erect. The results showed the average adult futanari penis measured eight and a half inches when erect, with outliers growing much larger. There seemed to be little difference in length between futanari of different heights or races. The scientific community has not generally accepted the findings of the anonymous doctor. The counterpoint is that the sort of futanari who would subject themselves to such measurements are simply more likely to be hung.

In 2011, as the firstborn generation of futanari reached adulthood, one broke out into the scene of mainstream pornography, only a few months after her eighteenth birthday. Her stage name was Selena Grande, a naturally beautiful and charming futanari who was swept into the spotlight in her first solo scene. In this scene, she revealed her massive foot-long cock from under her skirt, masturbated for the camera and came ferociously, covering the nearby floor with come, shooting well past the plastic sheet prepared for her. The director of this scene was standing twelve feet back, and he felt a drop of ejaculate hit him in the neck, just above his collar. The story may be apocryphal; maybe she didn't actually reach him from that distance, or maybe it was a speck of dust or drop of condensation from the ceiling. Nevertheless, the director believed it so strongly, he got a tattoo of a target on that spot on his neck, the bulls-eye at where she hit it.

The website that released this scene was discouraged when the scene was pirated over BitTorrent. At the end of that year, they learned that that Selena's solo scene had been downloaded six million times. That single scene was downloaded more than Breaking Bad and Dexter combined.

By that time, Selena was a household name that all decent company pretended not to know. But she quickly became the most recognized actress in pornography. Piracy of her scenes and films continued, but they also sold legitimate copies in equally great volumes.

Over a six-year career, Selena became the richest porn star in the world. Not 'richest futanari porn star,' the richest porn star of any gender. Nevertheless, Selena spent modestly, saving most of her money, quietly donating some to worthy causes, and subsisting on an allowance from royalties and product deals. Selena Grande was also the first porn star to get royalties on her performances in pornography without having joined a union first.

In the early days of Selena's career, her favorite hobby was to be cast as an extra in movies and television shows. According to an interview posted to the internet by the infamous hacker 4chan, Selena "loved imagining her poor fans jumping at the sight of her, and their girlfriends or mothers next to them asking what had startled them."

Selena had a cameo in an episode of the fantasy crime drama Forever, where she was permitted to suggestively eat a large sausage behind the oblivious Ioan Gruffudd. But by 2014, Selena was the most popular porn star to ever live. She was only slightly less well-known than Santa Claus.

In 2017, everyone knew Selena Grande. And here was Layla, looking her dead in the eye.

Layla had never experienced such deep emotional whiplash in her life. She quickly wiped her eyes and sniffled, feeling herself hyperventilate. "Oh my God, you're Selena Grande."

"Yes, I am." She sat next to Layla. "What's wrong? What's got you so upset?"

"I uh..." Layla said, her hands falling into her lap. "I came too fast."

"You're a porn star?" Selena asked. Layla nodded. "You're a... futa?"

Layla pulled her hands away from her lap. She'd grown hard, her cock standing up within her yoga pants like a tent pole. If only it could've happened earlier! "Yeah." She smiled bashfully, tucking it behind her sweatshirt.

"I guess you're a fan." Selena said.

"Isn't everyone?"

"Maybe, but few actually admit to it in public, even after so long." Selena put her arm around Layla's shoulder. "So, what happened specifically?"

"I was inside my costar for less than a minute before I couldn't help but come." Layla said. "We had to fake the rest of it and shoot stuff out of order... it was humiliating." Layla looked into Selena's blue eyes hopefully. "You always last a long time in your movies. Do you guys shoot it over different days, or cut it out if you accidentally come too fast?"

"I wish I could tell you yes to make you feel better but... I'm afraid not." Selena shook her head. "We usually shoot them in order. But you shouldn't compare yourself to me. I've done this for years. I'm very good at staying in control."

"Do you have any pointers or advice for me? So I don't... come so fast?"

Selena looked at Layla, then out towards the door. "Are you waiting for a ride?"

"I took the bus." Layla said sheepishly.

From her purse, Selena held her car keys between two fingers. "Want a lift?"

Layla didn't say anything, still in shock that she was even talking to the legend herself. It was like taking to the President. No, it was more like talking to a fictional character.

As Layla hesitated, Selena playfully walked off, saying "I guess not," leaving Layla to chase after her into the parking lot.

--

"I'm surprised it's not a convertible." Layla said from the passenger's seat. She was in the passenger seat of Selena's car, Selena in the driver's seat. They drove at a reasonable pace, obeying all traffic laws. This might have made her the only person on the highway doing so.

"Everyone in California has a convertible." Selena said. "They're all trying to stand out."

"Did you buy this one to stand out among the convertibles?"

"I stand out no matter what I do." Selena said. "When I'm in my car, finally people can't see me. That's the reason I don't have a vanity plate, either. People use their cars as advertisements for themselves. I don't need that. Everyone already knows who I am. If I'm driving, I'm not attracting attention; I'm just trying to get somewhere."

A short silence as Selena merged. "I don't even have a car." Layla said, unsure what else to say. She was still trying not to geek out at Selena. She had so many questions. But she didn't want to give the impression that she was a dork.

Ten more seconds of uncomfortable silence. Layla went for it. "I have some questions, if you don't mind."

"Of course." Selena said.

"OK, so..." Layla said. "It's obviously not your real name, but... did you really take your name from Selena Gomez and Ariana Grande?"

Selena glanced at her for a moment. "Well... duh."

"Was that so you could get people stumbling across you on the Internet when they're looking for music?"

"No, it doesn't work that way." Selena said. "The only people who find you that way are confused grandmas who would buy Mega Bloks for their kids instead of LEGO." She imitated an old woman. "Ohh, let's look up that there Selena Grande and... oh, my word!" She mimed holding reading glasses, presumably on a beaded chain around her neck. "Is this really what kids are into these days? Why can't they do what I did when I was young and use video games and cocaine?"