The Greatest Sex Story EVER Written

The story is titled "the greatest story of sex ever written by me" and it's a story about sex, the greatest by me, ever written. In a dramatic twist, it's going to be told to you by it's main character in third person and spoken through her eyes. It's her perspective and the crazily mundane way she views life through her rosé wine colored contact lenses. A female lady who goes by the womanly name of Gloria. It's literally about her. Gloria. If you didn't know. Literally.

BEFORE WARNED: This story contains sex and fornication, hardcore masturbating gangbangs and kinky math: 1XY/3XX, and alotta deep anal expulsions. But... no intercourse! A special cameo by Burt Reynolds's mustache, illustrations done in crayolavision which could cause epileptic seizures, graphic Covid, family incestation, 2 girls and a cup, vibrator on dildo crime, a pair of flaming heterosexuals and anything else I may choose to reveal and tease you with long before actually trying to write in the story what you will unindubitably later be surprised by. (Just an aside: The author does not condone the use of violence in any way against sex toys. Although... I may still gratuitously write about it in specific, chauvinistic detail. Double A is a battery and one could face a serious charge. Just don't be a dick towards plastic, ok?)

AUTHOR's PREFACE: You may need to read Chapter 3 before going on to Chapter 2 on this story to which I have also provided a handy index list of the cast of characters but not all of them appear in Chapter 6. Chapter 8 is short and a year late, because I forgot to write Chapter 1, but the references there will definitely help catch you up to what's going on here now.

Also and remember, did I forget to mention, that it is a true story based on the depiction of a very real fantasy experienced in a work place day dream by another writer I'm desperately trying to impress named Gloria Smith, who will remain anonymous per the judge's restraining order against me, and who is in no way shape or replica bears a striking likeness to the lead character. Gloria. Even though she begged me not to write about what she told me in incognito.

AUTHOR's NOTE: We pick up our story just as Gloria's husband, the very extinguished Buddy "Bud" Paxamillion the 4th Duke graduate in line to an actual Queen tribute band concert, who is a good natured, but down on his luck gambler and former city councilman from Council Bluffs, Iowa, who frequently and recklessly, in luau of money, bets his wife's body up as collateral during drunken poker games to his ever horny coworkers, is just about to walk into his home, unexpectedly, from a planned weekend business trip just as the super tall and super well hung, all Eskimo, pro basketball team is wearily dragging their broken sex swing past him to load unto the teams' chartered dog sled after a wild night of knitting and charades. Which all makes Bud mildly suspicious that his prim and proper wife of the past month is not telling him everything she knows about the hidden sexual past of her hot and slutty, super model, twin grandmother who's ashes now sit in the urn on top of the mantle of their conjugal toilet.

INTRO: This story is similar, if you recall, to the time that our hero of the story, Gloria with a tight ass and 42DDds, sued the whore house she was working in for workers comp after she hit her head on a headboard and was diagnosed by the doctor who also later cured her (but more on that later!!!) of what he described as the worst case of spontaneous intermittent lock jaw he had ever seen. How was I to know that if only she knew it was similar to, but not related to that, and also that other time that she worked as a prostitute and got LeRoy Jackson, the stereotypical, jive talkin, funky dressed, suburban Taiwanese wimp, to provide better working corners and free health care after she contracted, "quote unquote", penis elbow.

BACKSTORY INFO: And this one time, at band camp, whilst driving there to and afro in my automobile, I was flipping through the channels and my radio, amazingly, got stuck on NPR and I heard this word that I never heard used before and I don't really know the proper definition or spelling of it because I was two busy to look it up and I never have or would use it in my day to day conversation but I still decided that I'm going to use it in my story because I like how it sounds and it makes me look like I'm writing something impotent and I don't care about your menstrual complaining because it is now in here: irregardless!

DISCLAIMER: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious because I now realize I somehow have to make the 750 word menial limit imposed on me by this website or else "the greatest bacchanalia story on a debauchery ever written. By me." will never be publicated. Then heretofore I realize that Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious takes up a good chunk of space, but it only counts as just 1 syllabus.

Damn!

Super... cali... fragile...

AUTHOR's FORWARD: Ok, here's the final episode in Part 32 of the series of the long awaited trilogy of the sexual escapades and escapades in things of sexual nature by everyone's favorite promiscuous nun who, I may have forgotten to mention, is also a sexy undercover meter maid, but not like the kind that gives tickets to cars who have overstayed their welcome in marked spaces but more like an actual person who wipes clean parking meters (it's a clever play on words) Gloria!

PROLOG: I would be remisstaken if I did not fail to thank Milton68ALX with helping me clean up and edit this labor of lust. Thanks man, you're the best and I hope you stick it out with me because I can feel it in my bones that this is the end and we're just beginning. Today Literotica, tomorrow a magic marker scribble on Oprah's List of Bathroom Stalls!

Now, without any further adios, I give you the perfectly and correctly titled "the greatest story about the epistemology of nuclear photosynthesis dihadron azimuthal angular correlations, and SEX, ever written, by me!" Enjoy:

Gloria got fucked.

The End... Maybe??????