All Comments on 'The Hard Body Shop Clerk'

by dlsloan

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  • 19 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
too long

Break it up next time

be_cruel13be_cruel13over 17 years ago
A bit long, but never boring!!!

Yes, it was a bit long, and yes I also did a double take when I saw that it was 28 pages long, but the pages went by in a blink!!! The only thing I could have wished for were auto-scrolling/flipping pages so that I didn't have to take my fingers out of my pussy!!

It was very well written and the characters are all really great - especially Cori!!! I'm a little apprehensive about the weekly party at John's place b/c I would hate for this story to become a typical slut-loves-cocks story... The boys' genuine concern for Cori's well-being adds so much and makes this story special!!

be_cruel13be_cruel13over 17 years ago
A bit long, but never boring!!!

Yes, it was a bit long, and yes I also did a double take when I saw that it was 28 pages long, but the pages went by in a blink!!! The only thing I could have wished for were auto-scrolling/flipping pages so that I didn't have to take my fingers out of my pussy!!

It was very well written and the characters are all really great - especially Cori!!! I'm a little apprehensive about the weekly party at John's place b/c I would hate for this story to become a typical slut-loves-cocks story... The boys' genuine concern for Cori's well-being adds so much and makes this story special!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
long but good

but where was she ever reluctant or non consensual? Otherwise it was very entertaining. It is a lot of reading at one time though.

TammyTrueheartTammyTrueheartover 17 years ago
Hot and Simple

Hot and Simple is why the story is good. Wish I had wrote it, I would have added some humor, maybe made it a first person story from the female point of view and left off the BSDM that started around page 26 or so.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Hot and Well Described

A good, if very long story. I like that she dressed the part of eye-candy. The outfits made it better

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Resubmit as 10 part series.

This is too good to get lost like this! This is one of the best & hottest stories out there. But without the availability of posting it several times as part of a series, it will be lost in the shuffle. I suggest cutting, pasting, and resubmitting as a 10 parter. In any case I've got off about 4 times so far and I'm not even half way thru. Great stuff!

libertarianlibertarianover 17 years ago
More than 10 part series

Not only should this get broken up into 10 parts, but the story isn't finished yet. We have something going down Saturday, and what does Mr. Holman do to her? Also who becomes the new tech, and how does he want to use her.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Great Story

Great Story, and who cares if it's broken up into sections? If you don't want to read it all at once, don't..You don't need chapters to tell you when you can stop.

I am a little curious about why this is in the non-consent/reluctance area though......

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Great outfits, sweet story.

This is definitely sitting around the top online stories I've come across. The nonconsent categorization is off the mark, and I feel spoiled getting the whole story in one take. I hope you continue this or start up another story. Putting the babe in an office setting could be nice: half naked chick getting fucked by suits..., or in a restaurant. Judging by this read, I'm probably going to like anything you crank out, though. Thanks.

KnickersKnickersover 17 years ago
Excellent story!

Great story, I'm looking forward to more, particularly how the Holman plot-line works out. I'd also like to read about Cori's "advertising" job for the Body Shop (I've seen those autoshows).

Like a few other readers, I was surprised when the story took a slightly rough turn, especially because I thought that at the beginning you were taking alot of trouble to reassure the reader that it was all consenual and she wouldn't be hurt. I thought that these reassurances were intrusive to the narrative, and you should just let the fantasy run.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
I don't understand...

I don't understand why you are not published and you don't have a multi-million dollar book contract. I love this story! It had everything! Sex, friendship, trust, and SEX!!! You are awesome! Perfect 10!

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Boring for NonConsent

Boring for this category but good for another category like Romance or Erotic Coupling etc....

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Amazing!

I'm savoring this one, just reading a little at a time.

dlsloandlsloanover 10 years agoAuthor
Thank you!

Thanks! Glad you like it!

rosh21rosh21over 5 years ago
Inspiring!!

This is the best story I have read in Litetotica. I don't know how many times I have read this. This series was one of the reasons for me to start writing stories!

Big fan of you!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Long, but worth the time! Great story telling! Looking forward to more of your stories!

I just found your stories, and just finished this 28 page story, hooked on every page! I'll leave some other feedback as I read the rest. I've switched from video, which is still awesome(!), but reading gives me hours of continuous excitement & pleasure! Thanks! 5 stars from me, for sure! Wish I could meet or even be Cori! That'd be off the chain! Or maybe on the chain??!!? :{)

dlsloandlsloanalmost 5 years agoAuthor
Thank you!

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you continue to enjoy my stories. I welcome your feedback or questions any time. Thank you!

DL

merrySMmerrySMover 4 years ago
Good story but...

Why is this in the nonconsent area?

Anonymous
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My stories generally feature exhibitionism and/or non-violent non-consent such as blackmail. I appreciate all feedback, both positive and negative, as I'm always looking to improve my writing. I also welcome feedback and suggestions for story ideas at dlsloan31@gmail.com.

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