The Heart Wants Ch. 22-25

I had to resort to pushing Laurel off of me...

She hit the bed with a, "Oof!" and a laugh.

My hand wrapped in Rachel's hair and I pulled her off of me.

Her gaze me mine, her eyes full of fire...

Something hit me... something hit me hard...

I had to have her.

I pulled her up, spinning her onto her back.

We moved so aggressively that our combined weight smashed into Laurel.

She let out a startled yelp as she flew off the bed. Rachel and I barely noticed. I slid between her legs, entering her in one strong, swift motion. She pulled me into her with all of her strength as I thrust into her as fast and as hard as I could. Her legs wrapped around me tight, her hips moving to meet mine with each thrust. I buried my face back into the crook of her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent...

Dimly, somewhere in the back of my mind I felt Laurel grab the edge of the bed, "No guys. I'm good, just continue like I'm..." her voice went silent... "oh my fucking god..."

Rachel was trembling in my arms, her moans filling the room as we made love...

Her orgasm took her hard. Her head snapped back as her back arched. I wrapped my arms through the gap she provided me lacing them across her lower back, pulling her into me as hard as I could as I thrust myself into her with everything I was worth...

On some level I knew I should slow. I knew I should allow her to come down.

I couldn't though. Every nerve in my body was on fire...

So I just wrapped my arms around her tighter and pushed myself into her harder and harder...

Her hands wrapped in my hair, urging me along, her voice a panting chant, "Yes. Yes. Yes..."

"Uh... guys?" Laurel's voice lost that singsong sexy quality.

I felt her come around the edge of the bed. Felt her climb up with us.

I never slowed. Never managed to pull my face away from her neck. Her arms wrapped tight around my head, pulling me into her like she was trying to pull me entirely into her body.

Her second orgasm hit her hard. Every muscle in her body coiled like a spring as she screamed like a wounded animal...

I could feel Laurel's hands on me, on my back, my shoulders...

The intellectual part of me screamed at me to pay attention to her. Screamed at me to look at her. The animal part of me that was enjoying Rachel...

He grabbed that nerdy fuck and stuffed him in a locker in the back of my mind.

I felt Laurel's breath against my neck, heard her voice in my ear, "Linkey... slow down baby..."

I couldn't...

God she felt so fucking good, like fire spreading across my body.

Her voice was back in my ear, "Linkey... it's okay... I understand. She's not on birth control..."

That woke the intellectual part of me just a bit, enough at least for me to bring my face out of Rachel's neck, enough to look at Laurel.

Laurel focused her attention on Rachel... "Rey... baby... slow down..."

Rachel shook her head, "No... it's okay... I... oh god..."

Laurel lay down on her tummy, sliding closer to us, she kissed Rachel. She kissed her lips, kissed her face...

"Rey... baby... let me have him?"

I still couldn't slow and now I could feel myself building...

Rachel shook her head weakly, "No... I... I want..."

Her legs tightened around me and I felt myself being drawn back into her well, felt my control slipping...

"Rachel. Let me have him. I want to have him."

I clung to her, pushing myself into her as hard as I was able... but I could feel Rachel nodding her head weakly...

"Tell him Rachel..." Laurel's tone was filled with more authority.

Her arms loosened around me and I felt Laurel lie herself down next to us, felt her legs spread. I felt her hands on my arm. Felt her pulling me...

Rachel's voice was weak, "Go."

I felt her push me weakly as Laurel tugged on me insistently.

I started to wrap my arms around her tighter, unwilling to give up my prize...

Laurel's voice. It was the only thing that kept me sane... "Please baby, give it to me... I want it..."

With a growl I pulled myself from Rachel, flying over and into Laurel. Her arms wrapped around my head, just like Rachel had done for me. Her legs wrapped tight around me as I entered her.

I wish I could say I was gentle...

But I wasn't.

I pushed into her with all of my strength.

She bucked hard beneath me, growling into my ear as I entered her...

I lasted all of four strokes into her before my vision exploded into white...

Chapter 24

Something woke me...

Not that startled awake feeling...

Just enough to make me open my eyes.

The room was dark.

I was on the edge of the bed, facing into the wall, my head close enough that I could sense, if not quite feel, the rough texture of it...

I was in a strange place...

And then I remembered. I was in Rachel and Laurel's bed. I had fallen asleep after our play session. I remembered more as sleep moved from my mind and I became more aware of my surroundings. I felt movement on the bed, a trembling, a slight stirring. I nearly turned around, if for no other reason than to figure out what was going on...

A moan. Light, obviously stifled... Rachel.

A goofy smile plastered itself onto my face. They were making love. Once I had dropped off to sleep, they had continued without me... or they had woken and picked up where we had left off...

Either way, I was happy for them. They needed each other. They needed to spend time together. They needed some alone time. A part of me felt guilty for even being in the bed with them. As much fun as I had, and as right as they were about me joining them and just relaxing a little bit, they deserved their privacy.

I started to move, started to get out of the bed when Rachel moaned again this time with much more finality...

Laurel hissed, "Shh... you'll wake him!"

Rachel giggled, whispering, "I give up... come here..."

The bed shifted, and I could feel Laurel moving. I assumed that she was crawling up Rachel's body...

I held still, realizing that they would be embarrassed if they knew they had woken me. They would cuddle a little, and they would fall asleep. There was no harm in letting them think I had slept through their lovemaking. I shifted a bit, closing my eyes, trying to get back to sleep.

I heard them kiss and smiled, happy for them.

"I missed you Rey..." Laurel's voice was soft, melodious...

"I missed you too..." Rachel's voice was softer, almost haunted.

They kissed again, and I started to feel guilty about being there again. Started to feel guilty for eavesdropping on them.

"What's wrong?" Laurel asked.

The bed stirred, and I had to assume they were cuddling... maybe Rachel pulling Laurel close?

"I'm tired of being gone all the time. Tired of being away from you. Tired of never seeing home. Tired of never being home. I'm thinking about quitting my job..."

Laurel's voice was still quiet, but obviously very surprised, "What? You love your job..."

I felt them stir again, "But I love you more... we're supposed to be sharing a life together and we barely see each other anymore because I'm gone all the time. Shit, Link has slept with you more this week than I have all month..."

"Are you jealous of that?"

Rachel was quiet, so quiet, "No. I'm happy that he's here. I'm happy you have someone to look out for you. Happy you have someone here to keep you company, but him moving in made me start to realize how badly I've been dropping the ball. Made me realize how much I'm fucking up."

"You're not fucking up. I know your career is important to you, and I know you're working your way up the ladder. I know you take on a lot of the out of town accounts because nobody else wants them, and I know that by taking them on, you're improving your standing. There's nothing wrong with that." I could hear her kiss Rachel, from the sounds of it, it sounded like she kissed her on the cheek, "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"I don't want you to take care of yourself. I want to take care of you. I want us to take care of each other."

"Hey. We do take care of each other. It doesn't matter how far apart we are. We always take care of each other..."

Rachel sighed, "Are you sure that's why you feel that way? If I had said this two months ago, what would you have said then?"

Laurel was quiet for a long time, in fact, she was quiet for so long I was sure she wasn't going to answer...

"I'm sorry..."

Rachel sighed again... "I didn't mean it that way. I'm happy you found him and I'm happy you made him a part of our lives."

"I'm sorry I fell in love with him. That's what I meant."

This time Rachel laughed, "Baby, that's not exactly something you could help, don't beat yourself up over it."

"It's something you avoided. How many men have you been with? How many of them have started to get clingy, like Link did, and how many have you shown the door?"

I wasn't too sure I liked the description clingy...

I wasn't clingy. I was...

Shit. I was clingy. Hell, even the moment when she rejected me when I first asked her out, most men would have simply taken the hit and took a walk.

Rachel answered her, "Lou..." she paused, and I could tell from her tone that what she was about to say was something she wasn't going to like to say. "I let those men use me, and what's worse, I let them use me while I convinced myself that I was in control. The truth is, I wasn't. I..." she sighed, "I'm glad that you found Link. He made me realize that what I was doing was stupid. He made me realize how a man could really make me feel. How valuable I could be... to him. To you. To myself."

Laurel giggled this time, and I could hear her lean in and kiss Rachel again... "He is pretty amazing..."

There was another splash of guilt as I realized I was eavesdropping on them talking about me now...

Their kissing got more passionate... in fact... it sounded like it was getting pretty fucking heated...

"We should wake him up..." Rachel's voice was filled with playfulness...

Laurel laughed in return, "I think you've had enough of Link for one night..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I could almost sense the disapproving look and felt a fresh stab of guilt. I knew what it meant.

"What was that tonight? You're not on birth control. That was really dumb..."

Rachel got quiet...

Laurel continued, "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't..." she went quiet, either thinking, or just ashamed of what she had done, "It's not the first time..."

"What?" Laurel's voice wasn't angry, but there was a definite sense of surprise there...

"The first night we were together. Both times. I let him... inside me."

"What? Are you?"

My eyes went wide in panic...

Rachel's voice saved me, "No."

"How do you know?"

"There's my little worrywart," Rachel laughed, her voice throaty and full of the life I loved so much about her, "I track my cycles."

"You track your cycles?" Laurel was obviously surprised about that...

Rachel giggled, "Yeah. I have a little app on my phone that helps me. I keep track of them religiously."

"Why?"

Rachel growled a bit, "Because what I was doing. The men. The random hookups. Yeah, I made sure to use protection all the time, but it was still pretty risky. I always made sure that I avoided men when I was... you know... fertile..."

Laurel giggled again, "Why? If you used condoms all the time...?"

"Because accidents do happen. I mean, I got lucky and it never did, but it could have." She sighed again, "I really didn't want to have some random asshole knock me up... I didn't want to have you deal with that. I... I couldn't be that selfish."

I heard Laurel kiss her again...

Laurel told her, "I'm sorry. I should have realized that you knew what you were doing. I didn't know you knew when it was safe and when it wasn't."

Rachel hissed, "No. You were right... I was stupid tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"I start ovulating today. I'm..."

I felt Laurel move on the bed, it felt like she moved away from Rachel...

Her voice was shocked, "Really? Were you going to...?"

I felt Rachel move on the bed, "Yes."

Laurel moved again. I heard the rasp of skin on skin and assumed that Laurel was cuddling up to Rachel. This time, her voice was quiet, it sounded like she was nuzzled into Rachel, "Do you want that? With him?"

Rachel laughed, and a part of me was a little offended...

"No silly. I want that with you."

Laurel moved again and I could hear the joy in her voice, "What? Really?"

Rachel moved again, and they kissed, "Yes..."

Laurel's voice trembled... "Really?"

Rachel laughed again, this time heartier, more confident, "Yes, silly."

"With me?"

Rachel kissed her again, "Yes." She paused, "Well not with you, with you... I mean... you're uh... you're not... um... you know... uh... equipped for the job..."

Laurel laughed, and I could hear her throw her head onto Rachel...

She sounded so fucking happy...

I was terrified.

They were going to ask me... they were going to ask me and I had no fucking clue what I was going to say...

Rachel's voice broke my train of thought, "Do you wanna wake him up now?"

I heard Laurel smack her, lightly, but a smack all the same, "No! This is not a decision we're going to make over a quick conversation..." she paused, "and it's not one we're going to make without talking to him about it first, right?"

I could hear Rachel peck her, "I know. I was kidding. If it is a decision we decide to make, he needs to be on board with it too. I know him well enough to know that he is going to take this seriously. I know he would be mad if I trapped him into it."

"Really?" Laurel's voice was sarcastic, "Then what was tonight about?"

"Hormones." Rachel answered quickly, "And animal instinct." She paused, "And... he's really good in bed..."

Laurel giggled...

Rachel continued, "Like... really, really good in bed."

Laurel laughed harder, still quiet, but starting to lose control.

Rachel shushed her, "Shhh! You're going to wake him up, braying like a donkey over here!"

I heard skin slide over skin again...

Rachel moaned... and I could imagine where Laurel had just put her fingers...

My breathing sped up, thinking about them making love. I started getting excited...

Laurel whispered, "Maybe I do want to wake him up..."

They started kissing again, quietly, but I could hear Rachel moan as Laurel gave her a little more attention.

Her breathing was fast, and speeding up every second...

"We could... we could wake him up..." she moaned. "I'd like to... oh god... I'd like to see him and you... like he did for me..."

Laurel giggled, "No. He's finally asleep... let him sleep."

Rachel must have stopped Laurel, because she stopped moaning and breathing hard, "What do you mean? He's finally asleep?"

Laurel took a deep breath, sighing it out, "He doesn't sleep well. He's really restless. I think he has bad dreams..."

I swallowed...

"What do you mean? What kind of dreams?" Rachel's voice was full of worry, and it made my heart feel better, made me feel lighter...

"I don't know. He doesn't talk about it, but I also haven't asked. After tonight." She paused, "I feel really bad. I should have known that about it. I should have known about his parents... I feel like a bad friend..."

A shot of pain lanced through me as my mind tried to go back to the night that the cops had come to my house.

How they had talked to my sitter. How they told her what had happened. How I had sat on the stairs, my head pushed against the bars of the bannister as I eavesdropped on what they had told her...

I could still feel the tears on my face...

There was a rustling, and I assumed that it was the sound of Rachel running her hand through Laurel's hair, "Hey. Don't do that to yourself. That's no ones' fault. He just needed time to feel comfortable enough to share that." She sighed, and it was a sound that made me somehow feel like it carried a note of disapproval, "That couldn't have been easy. Just to talk about it. I think he is still denying it. Still has all of it bottled up. He bounced back way too fast. You can see the pain in him though. There's an anger there, simmering just below the surface..."

Laurel laughed, "I think you're reading too much into him."

Rachel was quiet and I took a moment, wondering if she was thinking...

"You don't see it?" her voice was surprised, but there was a tint of something... something else there... "He's like a coiled spring. There's this... energy to him. Think about it. Look how loyal he is. Look at how... how angry he gets when he sees someone he cares about in trouble." She paused, and this time I could tell she was thinking, she was processing what was going through her mind, "And once he gets started on something... he's like a dog with a bone. Think about when he found that security log. The firm that prepped that thing had days with it. He tore it apart in a tenth the time they did. Yes, from what I've seen, he's a wizard on a computer, but there's... there's something else there..."

I felt coldness in my chest. Felt one of my own masks slip. Felt vulnerable at how much she had seen...

Laurel spoke up, "He didn't sleep that night. He found that log, and he called you. Then he got his laptop out and it was like he was possessed. I went to bed and when my alarm went off to get up and take him to the airport, he wasn't in bed with me. I kind of expected him to be zonked out on the couch. I walked in and he was just sort of zoned out, staring at his computer, his fingers flying over the keys. Like he was in a trance. When I touched him... he didn't realize it was morning..."

Rachel answered her, "There's damage there... he does a good job of hiding it, but somewhere inside him is a well of pain..."

Shut up Rachel! My brain screamed at her... Those are my secrets!

Laurel hissed, "Well... I guess that explains him not sleeping..."

They were quiet... a quiet that stretched on...

"I'm glad he finally is getting some rest. I think he needs it, he's the only person I've ever seen that sleeps less than you." Laurel's voice was sad, "He is also a really light sleeper, it seems like every time I move, he wakes up..."

Rachel was quiet... an awkward kind of quiet...

Finally, she spoke, "You don't think he's awake?"

Her voice was worried...

I could hear the disquiet in Laurel's voice, as she hissed, "Link... you're not awake, are you?"

I grimaced...

Fuck.

She whispered again, "Link. If you're awake, you better tell us..."

Shit, shit, shit!

I started to realize how much I had screwed up by not saying something earlier...

I had just wanted to give them some privacy. I hadn't intended to overhear everything they had said...

Part of me considered answering them.

The smarter part of me realized however, how embarrassed they would be if they knew I had overheard everything I had heard.

I kept quiet.

Rachel's voice was quiet, "Maybe we better not push our luck... let's go to sleep..."

Laurel's voice was full of anxiety...

"Yeah. I think that would be a good idea..."

Chapter 25

I didn't fall back to sleep...

I laid there, my brain spinning in circles for a very long time. Normally I would have tossed and turned, but tonight, I knew I couldn't. I knew that in order to ensure they thought I had slept through their conversation I needed to hold perfectly still.

It was torture.

An hour, maybe two after they had fallen asleep, or at least that was my guess... their breathing had calmed, evened out... just about the point I thought I would lose my mind...

Rachel rolled over, pressing herself to my back. Her arms wrapped around me...

She made the cutest sound in my ear, something between a whine and a sigh...

Her lips pressed into my shoulder, she kissed me, her lips smacking on my skin.